God’s Instruction For Wives And Husbands

  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The universe is ordered there is a priority of things. There are laws that govern the universe gravity, thermodynamics, cause and effect, Chaos is the opposite of order and it cannot create order. Because there is are these laws or this order. There must be a law giver and we know it is the God of the Bible. So our God is a God of order. God governs His creation by laws and order.

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

God has rules for His universe for His creation, Including mankind God has designed mankind to be His representative to be His image bearer but that was marred at the fall.

God has an order or design for human Government. By the way Biblically governments job is to protect the innocent and punish evil doers. Thats all!

, Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.

The christian is to obey or submit to the laws of the land except when it goes against Scripture.

God has a design for the church.government. We believe here at FBC that church government as described in the Bible is Congregational rule pastor led.

  Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.

God has instructions or order for the church the house of God. Christians are to obey or submit to their church leaders.

God also has a specific design for the individual family he has an order of thing for their house for the wives, for the husbands, and for the children. We will begin today by looking at God’s design for the husband and wife so I’ve title this message ….

God’s Instruction For Wives And Husbands 5:22-33

Next week by God’s grace we will look at God’s design for children and parents. So lets dig in to God’s wonderful Word this morning and see what…

God’s design for marriage

The first thing we see in our passage is God’s design for the wives

Wives submit to your husbands 22-24

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Submit to be subject to is the key word carried over from verse 21 where it was defined as to place or arrange under the authority of. The meaning is clearly the idea of the subordination of someone in an orderly manner under one who has the proper authority. The tense of the verb suggest this is to be done voluntarily and not on account of duty, force or coercion. It is the response of a godly wife who is filled with by the Spirit of Christ.

Wives are to submit to their own husbands

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Wives are to submit to there own husbands not to men in general. No where in Scripture is the husband told to submit to the wife. All believers have other areas where submission to Biblical authority is required and that will include men other than husbands like church leaders, government, parents, masters, the Lord.

Wives are to submit as to the Lord

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

The best way to understand this phrase is that as the wife submits to her husband’s God-given authority she is in effect submitting to the Lord Himself and His authority. Again this is a case of voluntarily submission in recognition of the God-appointed leadership of the husband and the divinely ordained hierarchical order in creation.

Wives are to submit because the husband is the head of the wife

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church;

Here Paul through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit of God gives the reason. The husband has been appointed as head of the wife meaning that he has leadership or authority over her. The source of this leadership can be gleaned from other passages.

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

God has an order of things a design and to go against this divine order is sin. Christ submitted to the Father throughout His ministry this did not make Him any less God it is a matter of design or God’s order of things.

8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

This order is not culture it goes back to creation. We see this also with Church leadership.

Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

This does not make women any less than man. God has a specific order of things the way He wants them displayed to best glorify Him.

  For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

We are the same in Christ, but God has an order of the way He wants things done both in the household of God and the individual family household. This has nothing to do with ability women are capable leaders I would vote for a women president if she had conservative ideals. Number one is pro-life with me. There are women who have the gift to teach or preach an they can use those gifts in the way God wants. They can certainly preach and teach to other women or children.

Illustration: Hagee

Wives are to submit as the church submits to Christ

23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

This takes the teaching out of the realm of culture and places it in relation to Christ’s headship over the church. Just as Christ’s headship of the church is expressed in terms of loving it and giving His life for it so the husband is to love his wife in the same manner. The nature of husbands headship is that which will sacrifice for the ultimate good of his wife just as Christ gave His all for the church’s highest good its salvation. The church’s submission to Christ is presented as the module for the wife to follow in her subjection to her husband. Christ is clearly the head of the church and as is said in the very next verses He nourishes and cherishes the church. In other words the church receives benefit from having Christ as head and so will the wife when she voluntarily assumes her proper role in subordination to her husband.

Wives are to submit in everything

24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything

What this means is that the wife needs to be submissive to her husband in every area of life. So no part of the wife life should be outside of her relationship to her husband and outside subornation to him. Just as the church is to submit to Christ in everything so in every sphere wives are to submit to their husbands the motivation for doing this is a true and godly reverence for Christ.

Do you want God’s blessing on your marriage obey God and submit to your husband. Husband man up and lead your families. Don’t be jellyfish.

II. Husbands love your wives 25-33

This begins the second section of the household code or table. Even though the husbands headship is stressed in verses 22-24 nowhere is he told or commanded or exhorted to rule over his wife. Although that relationship/role exists and is biblical the husband is commanded to love his wife instead. Since the essence of agape love is self-sacrificing service for the highest good of the other individual the husband is to wholeheartedly care for, protect, nourish, and serve his wife all the days of their lives. Leadership in the is a servant leadership as illustrated by Jesus taking the towel of a slave in to wash the disciples feet. We are told to relate to other christians this way how much more so our wives. Do our wives deserve the same consideration, honor and respect? I fear at times I am more patient, caring, concerned, tender, and loving with strangers then we are with our own wives. The truth is true ministry begins at home and should be an overflow to others of what is already occurring within the family circle. Yet I have seen of some they minister to others to the neglect of their own families.

You must be right with God in your walk you can only love her biblically if God is free to work in your own life. You must be a practical example of what it means to be a christian Your brand of christianity must be the genuine thing.You must be ministering to your own wives. . You must be drowning in the Lord so that you are able to minister to your wife physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. You must honor and protect her role as a wife and mother. You must never publicly take sides against your wife ridicule her, criticize her, purposefully hurt her, embarrass her, subvert her authority as a mother in front of the children. Respect her enough that when you disagree with her that you deal with it in a private, respectful way but you must deal with it. Husbands are to love their wives unconditionally 25

25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

Just as Christ was able to love the church the husband is also able to love his wife in exactly the same manner as he allows Christ to dwell in his heart through faith. In other words even though this is an impossible command on the human level it is now not only possible but a necessity because Christ dwells in us. A believer then can truly do all things through Christ who is constantly infusing strength into him.

b. Husbands are to love their wives sacrificially 25

25  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

This Biblical love agape love does not depend upon the quality of the object loved and so Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, while we were ungodly. Christ standard shows you how you should be loving your wife. Christ voluntarily gave Himself for the highest good of the church He took the initiative, husbands are to do the same.

c. Husbands are to love their wives purposely 26-27

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Biblical love is not a sentimental squishy love. It is a perfecting love. It is a love that is going to do the very best for the person. Husbands are to love their wives with a purpose that they would grow closer to christliness. Sometimes that means not allow them to do certain things or pushing them to do the right things. The husband

d. Husbands are to love their wives affectionately 28-30

28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

This is language from the nursery and is tender and affectionate. Are you tender and affectionate towards your wife?This is how we treat ourselves. He is trying to use this truth to show that since our wives are one flesh with us we ought to nourish and cherish her physically, emotionally, and spiritually just like we already do with our selves. This is what it means to love her biblically.

Christ again is the illustration Christ not only dies to show His love for the church He also lives to show His love for the church by meeting its most basic needs. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want literally He meets my needs

e. Husbands are to love their wives preferentially 31, 33

31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

There is no greater relationship beside his Lord Jesus for the husband than his wife. They are one flesh. His mother and father are below this relation and so are the children. And this should be modeled in the home the kids should know without question that mom comes first. The world teaches child centered parenting this does great damage to the family unit because it is completely contrary to God’s design and is truly child abuse giving the child everything the want. It is the husband and wife against the kids.

Paul summarizes what he has just taught in the last verse. What is most likely to be absent on the part of the wife is submission and on the part of the husband biblical love. The husband is to love his own they are now one flesh. The word for respect here is really the word for fear but reverence is really the idea honor for the one who is her head therefore the word respect is fitting.