Session 5 When Marriage is Questioned
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Background
Background
A lot of confusion exists in today’s culture about gender and marriage, as truth becomes more and more relative. For the first time in its history, Western civilization is confronted with the need to define the meaning of the term “marriage” and “gender”. Many different options have been brought out for inclusion, yet God’s Word remains the embodiment of objective truth, and one we can turn to in times like these.
Let’s look at
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.
2:18–25 The Creation of Woman
God, who seven times has declared various aspects of creation “good,” now declares that “it is not good” for Adam to be without a suitable partner. Look at . Is the Bible contradicting itself here?
25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
In what cases would it be good to be alone?
Why does God empower Adam to name the animals if naming had previously been a divine activity? What main attribute that we possess does this define?
Why does God empower Adam to name the animals if naming had previously been a divine activity?
The man gave names. By naming the animals, the man demonstrates his authority over all the other creatures.
God gave human beings the ability and power to name. Just as God separates light from darkness and dry land from water, this biblical text affirms that humans–created in the image of God–may seek to bring order to our chaotic and dynamic world through the process of naming.
While the naming of Eve by Adam after the fall implies some level of authority on Adam’s part (3:20; compare v. 20), the purpose seems to be to bless Eve and properly steward his relationship with her (see note on v. 20). Eve’s status remains equal as divine imager (see note on 1:27). In addition, the dominion (stewardship) mandate was issued to both the man and woman at the same time (see 1:28). This shows that Adam’s relationship to Eve is not one of dominion; instead, it involves a difference in roles—he blesses creation through his naming of the animals, while she blesses it by continuing the life of humanity (3:20).
Since Adam names Eve, does this indicate his dominion over her? How does clarify this?
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
gen1.27
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him’ ” (2:18). Adam and Eve were different, but with a glorious purpose—that the two might fit together like hook and eye. Eve was a “suitable” companion. Perhaps Matthew Henry, the Puritan Bible commentator, said it best: “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be beloved.”
2:18 The Hebrew term used here, ezer, refers broadly to rendering aid. While used to refer to subordinates, the word does not necessarily imply inferiority: God is called Israel’s helper (ezer in Hebrew; Hos 13:9).
Ezer does not imply that the woman is inferior to the man, especially since Eve’s creation was prompted by a perceived insufficiency in Adam to image God. Through wordplay, the term may also draw attention to Adam’s inability to fulfill one of God’s primary mandates: procreation (Gen 1:28). The pronunciation of ezer resembles zera' (often translated as “seed” or “offspring”), which expresses that Eve is an essential part of humanity imaging God as Creator of life.
While the naming of Eve by Adam after the fall implies some level of authority on Adam’s part (3:20; compare v. 20), the purpose seems to be to bless Eve and properly steward his relationship with her (see note on v. 20). Eve’s status remains equal as divine imager (see note on 1:27). In addition, the dominion (stewardship) mandate was issued to both the man and woman at the same time (see 1:28). This shows that Adam’s relationship to Eve is not one of dominion; instead, it involves a difference in roles—he blesses creation through his naming of the animals, while she blesses it by continuing the life of humanity (3:20). Eve comes alongside Adam to help him in his mandate to steward creation—Adam leads in the sense that he is already working with creation before she is created.
How does what Paul says in a rather challenging passage in further define the role of men and women?
2:18. This is the first and only time in prefall creation that God assessed something as being not good. This does not mean, of course, that the creation of Adam resulted in a situation God did not foresee. God waited to meet that need—and in so doing to bring His creative work to completion—by showing Adam the animal kingdom so that he would realize he had a need that only God, in His love and wisdom, could meet. Then when this need was eventually met, Adam would have a greater sense of gratitude (and hence more glory) to God as well as a greater appreciation of the woman herself.
Ver. 18. ‘And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.’
Adam stood by a covenant of works: Adam’s kingdom was an earthly paradise; Adam’s excellency was, that he had not need of a Saviour; and Adam’s knowledge was ignorance of Jesus Christ: Adam in his greatest glory, wanted earthly comforts; Adam in his innocency, was a mere natural man.
Adam stood by a covenant of works: Adam’s kingdom was an earthly paradise; Adam’s excellency was, that he had not need of a Saviour; and Adam’s knowledge was ignorance of Jesus Christ: Adam in his greatest glory, wanted earthly comforts; Adam in his innocency, was a mere natural man.
how this influences the role of men and women in the church, see comments on and .
This proveth further what I said at first, That in the first chaos was contained all that was made upon the earth.
‘And brought them unto Adam, to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.’
Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven. For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head. For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
In this Adam was a lively type of the Lord Christ’s sovereign and glorious power over all flesh: ‘Thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him’ (John 17:2).
‘And brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them.’
So Christ nameth the world; whom he will he calleth saints; and whom he will he calleth the world, ‘ungodly,’ ‘serpents,’ ‘vipers,’ and the like. ‘I pray for them, I pray not for the world’ (John 17:9).
I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
‘And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.’ Even as Christ passes sentence, so shall their judgment be.
2:19–20. In v. 20, Adam named three types of animals: cattle … birds of the sky, and every beast of the field. Yet v. 19 mentions only the latter two—that is, those animals that were not tame and which man can handle only by hunting or trapping them. Thus in order to serve the main purpose of demonstrating to Adam his need for a female mate, God here created some specific representatives of the bird and wild land-animal categories to be named along with the tame animals. The argument that this naming of the animals would have taken more than a single day is not valid. The primary purpose of bringing these animals before Adam was not to give them names, but rather to highlight his need for woman—which a relatively small number of animal pairs would suffice to establish. Indeed, the Hebrew word names (shemot) is perfectly consistent with the understanding that Adam simply gave general designations to each general category or class of animal (e.g., “equine,” “serpentine,” “canine,” etc.) rather than precise labels such as “Equus ferus caballus,” “Crotalus horridus,” “Canis lupus familiaris,” let alone “Spot” or “Rex.”
And so Adam came to perceive what God always knew—that he stood in need of a female helper suitable for him (v. 20). In this description of woman, which occurs in the Bible only here and in v. 18, there are two key ideas. First, concerning the woman’s role, the word helper (’ezer) according to its usage is not a demeaning term as it is used elsewhere in Scripture of God (Pss 33:20; 70:5; 115:9). In Ps 121:1–2, when used of God, it indicates one who gives both material and spiritual assistance. Hence, the woman was to assist the man in accomplishing the task God gave him to worship and obey Him. Second, concerning the woman’s value or worth, the expression suitable for him (ke-negdo, lit., “facing him,” as one might describe his image in a mirror) underscores that woman is intrinsically all that man is, yet in the feminine, and hence she is of equal worth. This second part of the description serves to avoid any potential misunderstanding of the first part, namely, the idea that the woman’s role as assistant implies any differing value or worth. In God’s eyes men and women are equally valued, and are judged according to the same standard of how faithfully they fulfill the roles that they have been given. Still, from creation, God intends them to have distinct but harmonizing roles. For how this influences the role of men and women in the church, see comments on 1Co 11:2–9 and 1Tm 2:12–15.
‘But for Adam, there was not found an help meet for him.’ All the glory of this world, had not Adam had a wife, could not have completed this man’s blessedness; he would yet have been wanting: so all the glory of heaven, considering Christ as mediator, could not, without his church, have made him up complete. The church, I say, ‘which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all.’
2:20 Adam. See note on 5:1–2.
2:20 names. Names were not given randomly in the ancient world. A name may identify the essential nature of the creature, so that giving a name may be an act of assigning the function that creature will have. In Mesopotamia the assigning of function is referred to as the decreeing of destiny. Decreeing destiny by giving a name is an act of authority. In the ancient world, when a king conquered another country, the king he put on the throne was given a new name. In other cases, the giving of a name is an act of discernment in which the name is determined by the circumstances. In either case,
2:20 In exercising his stewardship over creation, Adam names the animals. In ancient Israelite belief, knowing the name of a thing is what enabled one to do good for the thing named or to pronounce a blessing.
In 32:26–29, the divine figure who wrestles with Jacob must know the name of Jacob before he can bless him. Adam also gives Eve her name (3:20), but in the ch. 2 account, Eve is simply called woman, not given a proper name (v. 23).
Let’s go to
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
In what way does the deep sleep of Adam draw similarities to what Paul writes in ?
Ver. 21, 22. ‘And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.’
In these words we find an help provided for Adam; also whence it came. The help was a wife; she came out of his side; she was taken thence while Adam slept. A blessed figure of a further mystery. Adam’s wife was a type of the church of Christ; for that she was taken out of his side, it signifies we are flesh of Christ’s flesh, and bone of Christ’s bone (Eph 5:30). And in that she was taken thence while Adam slept, it signifies, the church is Christ’s, by virtue of his death and blood: ‘Feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with is own blood’ (Acts 20:28).
‘And he brought her to the man.’ That is, And God brought her to the man. By which he clearly intimates, That as the church is the workmanship of God, and the purchase of the blood of Christ; so yet she cannot come to Christ, unless brought to him of God: ‘No man can come to me [saith Christ] except the Father which hath sent me, draw him’ (John 6:44).
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
2:21 The woman is made from the side (tsela' in Hebrew) of the man. Usually used in architectural contexts (Exod 25:12, 14; 26:20), this is the only occurrence of the word in reference to human flesh.
This is why it is important (and good!) for a man to “leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife” (2:24). Marriage, and healthy marriage in particular, is vitally important as a sign of obedience to God, as a building block for culture, and (most of all) as a beautiful and accurate portrait of the relationship between Christ and his church (Eph. 5:22–33).
In this instance, therefore, God excluded Adam from even a visual participation in the process of creating Eve, so that when he awoke he would immediately perceive that his need had been completely met by God.
By creating the woman from one of Adam’s ribs God further underscored the equal worth of the woman, since she is made of the same “stuff” as the man.
What do you draw from the expression, “God brought her to him”?
The Father bringing his daughter to her betrothed. God’s bringing Adam and Eve is described as a marriage in . The verb brought was also used in 2:19 for God bringing animals to Adam for him to name them, indicating, among other things, Adam’s authority over them. By implication, the bringing of Eve to Adam, and his naming her (see the verb “call” in both 2:19 and 23), also is an indication of God’s intention that he would provide leadership for her.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Matthew Henry, the Puritan Bible commentator, said it best: “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be beloved.”
Perhaps Matthew Henry, the Puritan Bible commentator, said it best: “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be beloved.”
Man and woman were to complement one another. In what was does (or did) your spouse complement you?
Move to
23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
In v. 23, Adam was affirming both the woman’s equal value to man (by the sound of the word) as well as her distinctiveness (by the spelling of the word) as “a delicate vessel” (1 Pt 3:7, in which the term typically translated “weaker” [asthenestero] can—and should in view of the present passage—be translated “delicate” or even “tender”).
In these verse, what can we learn about God’s view of sex and marital relationships?
Ver. 23. ‘And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’
It is also important to observe that God creates only one Eve for Adam, not several Eves or another Adam. This points to heterosexual monogamy as the divine pattern for marriage that God established at creation. Moreover, the kinship between husband and wife creates obligations that override even duty to one’s parents (therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, 2:24).
In that Adam doth thus acknowledge his wife to be bone and flesh of his substance, it shews us, that Christ will acknowledge those that are his: ‘He is not ashamed to call them brethren, saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee’ (Heb 2:11, 12).
And observe it, He said, ‘She is bone of my bone,’ &c. before that God, that brought her to him; intimating, that Christ both owns us now at his Father’s right hand, and will not be ashamed of us, even in the day of judgment (Matt 10:33; Luke 12:8).
In ancient Israel, sons did not move away when they married, but lived near their parents and inherited their father’s land. They “left” their parents in the sense of putting their wife’s welfare before that of their parents.
A Closer Look at “Hold Fast”
A Closer Look at “Hold Fast”
What meaning do you draw from this phrase? Look at ; ; ;
You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear.
2:23–24 When no suitable companion is found among all the living beings, God fashions a woman from the man’s own flesh. The text highlights the sense of oneness that exists between the man and the woman. Adam joyfully proclaims, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” This terminology is used elsewhere of blood relatives (29:14). This sentence and the story of Eve’s creation both make the point that marriage creates the closest of all human relationships. It is also important to observe that God creates only one Eve for Adam, not several Eves or another Adam. This points to heterosexual monogamy as the divine pattern for marriage that God established at creation. Moreover, the kinship between husband and wife creates obligations that override even duty to one’s parents (therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, 2:24). In ancient Israel, sons did not move away when they married, but lived near their parents and inherited their father’s land. They “left” their parents in the sense of putting their wife’s welfare before that of their parents. The term “hold fast” is used elsewhere for practicing covenant faithfulness (e.g., Deut. 10:20; see how Paul brings these texts together in 1 Cor. 6:16–17); thus, other Bible texts can call marriage a “covenant” (e.g., Prov. 2:17; Mal. 2:14). Paul’s teaching on marriage in Eph. 5:25–32 is founded on this text. The sense of being made for each other is further reflected in a wordplay involving the terms “man” and “woman”; in Hebrew these are, respectively, ’ish and ’ishshah. As a result of this special affiliation, Gen. 2:24 observes that when a man leaves his parents and takes a wife, they shall become one flesh, i.e., one unit (a union of man and woman, consummated in sexual intercourse). Jesus appeals to this verse and 1:27 in setting out his view of marriage (Matt. 19:4–5).
You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear.
Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.”
Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
but test everything; hold fast what is good.
Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.
For as the loincloth clings to the waist of a man, so I made the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah cling to me, declares the Lord, that they might be for me a people, a name, a praise, and a glory, but they would not listen.
The term “hold fast” is used elsewhere for practicing covenant faithfulness. As a result of this special affiliation, observes that when a man leaves his parents and takes a wife, they shall become one flesh, i.e., one unit (a union of man and woman, consummated in sexual intercourse). Jesus appeals to this verse and 1:27 in setting out his view of marriage ().
but you shall cling to the Lord your God just as you have done to this day.
The term “hold fast” is used elsewhere for practicing covenant faithfulness. As a result of this special affiliation, observes that when a man leaves his parents and takes a wife, they shall become one flesh, i.e., one unit (a union of man and woman, consummated in sexual intercourse). This verb is often used to describe the ideal of Israel’s (or an individual’s) covenant relationship with God.
Ver. 24. ‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.’
This ought to be truly performed in our married estate in this world. But here endeth not the mystery.
How can we express “hold fast” in today’s society?
‘Therefore shall a man leave his father.’ Thus did Christ when he came into the world to save sinners: He came forth from the Father; ‘I came forth from the Father, and am come into the world’ (John 16:28).
‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother.’ The Jewish church may, in a mystical sense, be called the mother of Christ; for she was indeed God’s wife, and of her came his Son Jesus Christ: yet his mother he left and forsook, to be joined to his Gentile spouse, which is now his only wife.
2:24–25. Marriage is described as consisting of three essential actions (reflecting the three clauses in the Hebrew text), all of which, if not always perfectly realized in a marriage, are nonetheless intended as life-long ideals for which a married couple is to strive unceasingly. The first action, represented by the statement a man shall leave his father and his mother, is that of clearly shifting one’s primary human loyalty to his spouse. The man is the subject of the verb (the “doer” of the action), suggesting not that the leaving is to be done only by the man, but that the degree of relational “severance” will typically be greater for him than he should expect it to be for his wife.
This verb is often used to describe the ideal of Israel’s (or an individual’s) covenant relationship with God
How do you express “one flesh” in your marriage? How do you, as members of the church, express it as the bride of Christ?
Ver. 25. ‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’
2:24 leaves … united … one flesh. The text establishes a “flesh-line,” which is stronger than a bloodline and causes the man to seek her out. Woman is recognized as being of the same essence as man and therefore of serving as his ally in sacred space.
2:25 naked. In Genesis the nakedness of the humans does not appear to be a negative comment, though it is contrasted through wordplay to the craftiness of the serpent in the next verse (3:1), so it may refer to a relative naïveté. In contrast, ancient Near Eastern texts indicate that the primeval nakedness of people is a sign of a primitive, uncivilized condition. When Enkidu is civilized in the Gilgamesh Epic, he is clothed by the woman who civilizes him. The Sumerian text Ewe and Wheat opens with a description of primeval humans who are clearly primitive, and the text apparently considers that a negative. In this way there are similarities in how Genesis and the Mesopotamian texts describe early humankind, but there is a contrasting assessment of how their condition should be interpreted.
Ver. 25. ‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’
‘And they were both naked.’ Apparel is the fruits of sin; wherefore let such as pride themselves therein, remember, that they cover one shame with another. But let them that are truly godly have their apparel modest and sober, and with shamefacedness put them on, remembering always the first cause of our covering our nakedness, was the sin and shame of our first parents (1 Peter 3:3).
2:25 In light of the later events, the use of this Hebrew term here, arom, involves wordplay—the serpent is described as crafty (arum in Hebrew; Gen 3:1). The parallel words indicate a contrast: innocence being transformed into shame.
Takeaways
Takeaways
2:25 naked and … not ashamed. This final description in vv. 18–25 offers a picture of innocent delight and anticipates further developments in the story. The subject of the couple’s nakedness is picked up in 3:7–11, and a play on the similar sounds of the words “naked” (Hb. ‘arummim) and “crafty” (3:1, Hb. ‘arum) links the end of this episode with the start of the next.
A person’s highest relationship—outside of his or her relationship with God—would be with another prson whom God created to complement that person.
Husbands and wives are to enjoy their God-given differences even as they strive to complement one another.
Marriage creates the closest of all human relationships, even stronger than a parent and child.
Self-Reflection
Self-Reflection
Based on the messages of this study, what counsel would you give your sons or daughters or other young couples who are contemplating marriage?