The Thriving Church, Part 6: Youth

Brett Poynter

The Thriving Church Series • Sermon • Submitted 6 years ago

Mark 10:13–16

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Mark 10:13–16 CEB

13 People were bringing children to Jesus so that he would bless them. But the disciples scolded them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he grew angry and said to them, “Allow the children to come to me. Don’t forbid them, because God’s kingdom belongs to people like these children. 15 I assure you that whoever doesn’t welcome God’s kingdom like a child will never enter it.” 16 Then he hugged the children and blessed them.

Hey You!

We're talking 144 million greeting cards being exchanged industry-wide. Both men and women prefer to receive chocolate over flowers, according to the National Confectioners Association. The survey also found that chocolate sales represent 75% or more of Valentine's Day candy purchases. And the most popular chocolate in the box is caramel filled.

It was expected that at least 19 billion would be spent on the day this year.

Yet even with its popularity, its might surprise you that 3 in 10 people choose not to bother with the hoopla.

Congratulations to those of you who are married. It looks like you survived valentines and managed to stay out of the dog house!! Regardless of how you participate or don’t participate in the yearly celebration, it should always bring to mind that Valentines should be a highlight of what has been happening all year long. That we go out of our way to show the ones we love how special they are to us! That we hold them as high priority in our lives.

They are more than lip service, rhetoric, or flowers and chocolate once a year. Sweet Words and unexpected acts of kindness and loving behaviors are essential to warm and lasting relationships. When we love someone, we prioritize them everywhere in our lives. Not only on one special day a year.

To prioritize them everywhere, means Our lives center around them. Decisions about schedules, expenditures, travel, longterm and life goals, wardrobe, food, lifestyle, health, vehicle purchases, insurance policies, are all based on the effect to those who have highest priority in our lives.

When the kids are young and small, you choose vehicles with excellent options for car seats and space for all your gear. The minivan and SUV comes to mind.

When planning the budget, we look not only at home maintenance, but also save room for quality family time to travel away together vacation to reconnect while disconnecting from busy schedules.

For others it may be looking for ways to care for aging parents or assisting with the care of nieces and nephews. And to some it might be that a disenfranchised segment of the population is of highest priority and they receive a priority amount of financial aid, and/or time spent in support.

Our priorities say a lot about us. What we do with out time, where we spend our money says a lot about our priorities. The same holds true for the church. Where do our priorities lie? What comes second place to Jesus?

Today’s core commitment.

Six Core Commitments to Thrive and Grow Young (General): Leadership, Empathy, Discipleship/Evangelism, Community, Priorities, Neighbors

Core Commitment: Prioritize Young People (and Families) Everywhere

Remember there are six core commitment categories...

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Six Core Commitments to Thrive and Grow Young (General): Leadership, Empathy, Discipleship/Evangelism, Community, Priorities, Neighbors

Look!

Just like when we prioritize our lives around our families, and make sacrifices in life to provide, meet needs, spend time, build relationship, communicate love, as a church if we are truly committed to growing and growing young, we need to prioritize young people everywhere in our church lives.

In other words, as the church prioritizes young people everywhere, it means giving up preferences or shifting what in the past may have been considered nonnegotiable.

Football when single, before kids

The order of service, every element in its place with rare room for change. To adjusting the flow to accommodate more or something different.

Even when it means relinquishing traditional authority and power in order to embrace the young.

Prioritizing teenagers and young adults has made the difference between ailing and thriving—not only for young people but also for the whole congregation.

Regardless of your context, the research has researchers convinced that the hinge point separating churches that grow old from those that grow young is priority.

When churches prioritize young people—and their families—everywhere, they take a step beyond both empathy and warmth. They allocate resources, energy, and attention to teenagers and young adults both inside and outside their walls.

This is called a hinge point because while churches who have keychain leaders, empathize with young people, focus on Jesus, and nurture warmth can be lovely churches, they can eventually get comfortable, face inward, and ultimately grow old. If they fail to prioritize young people everywhere and help them live as good neighbors in the world, over time the congregation will age out.

Sounds a little Laodicean to me.

We need everyone in your church to prioritize young people if you hope to make worthwhile and lasting progress. Simply put, priority is the game changer for churches that want to grow young.

Chapter Highlights

Churches that grow young are willing to make young people a priority not just in rhetoric but also in daily reality. These churches don’t assume it will happen automatically; they emphasize young people in their overall philosophy, worship experiences, leadership assignments, and budget.

Young people are joining and staying involved in churches that are intentional about making them and their interests a priority in the church.

Prioritizing young people everywhere means more than thinking about budget, strategy, worship planning, programming, and community life.

Churches growing young prioritize young people not just for the sake of making young people happy but because the whole church benefits.

Listen to these quotes from church leaders at churches that made the shift in their culture to be able to grow young...

“Everybody rises when you focus on children and teens.”

“Young people are like salt. When they’re included, they make everything taste better.”

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

This is more than simply hiring a youth pastor and allocating one room on campus to remodel to become youth friendly, say with couches, amply space to hangout and study and pray, while being just far enough away to keep an eye on them but not be too disturbed by the volume of the joy of the Lord that emits from the room.

Prioritizing young people includes prioritizing families.

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Because families are key to effective ministry with young people.

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Parents are the strongest spiritual influences in their kids’ lives, but they need the support and partnership of the church. (Mark 5:21-43)

This may surprise you, and I am sure give you hope. The latest finding from extensive studies of churches growing young,

Prioritizing young people means prioritizing families. Parents are the strongest spiritual influences in their kids’ lives, but they need the support and partnership of the church.

Parents still carry the most important weight in their kids’ faith development. This is true not only in childhood but also through adolescence.

Research continues to affirm that the best predictor of a young person’s faith is the faith of their parents.

That means that churches who care about kids also must include the care, equipping, and formation of parents and families.

Notice this quote...

“What I really like about our parish youth ministry is that they encourage the parents to come. They include the parents in all the classes that their kids are taking. There’s at least one meeting a week where the parents are invited to share in whatever is going on to deepen their faith as well as understand where their kids are coming from. I totally wish I had that when I was growing up.” —Alice, age 19

In studying churches growing young, we found that parents’ participation in church worship and programming correlates with more mature faith in young people.

And with the times we live, parents today need all the support they can get.

We can continue doing this. Supporting families.

Mom 2 Mom is an example of what we are doing well in relation to supporting families. On scheduled Friday mornings, this ministry offers loads of options to connect parents for prayer, support, resources, and to build a warm community.

Healthy families, grow healthy young people, and in turn a healthy church.

Notice how Jesus prioritized families.

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Mark 5:21–24 CEB

21 Jesus crossed the lake again, and on the other side a large crowd gathered around him on the shore. 22 Jairus, one of the synagogue leaders, came forward. When he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet 23 and pleaded with him, “My daughter is about to die. Please, come and place your hands on her so that she can be healed and live.” 24 So Jesus went with him. A swarm of people were following Jesus, crowding in on him.

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

He went out of his way. Changed is plan. Was willing to prioritize this family needs. They were delayed somewhat due to the crowds trying to get at him and his time. Even just trying to touch his garment resulted in healed lives. But they eventually made it to Jairus’ house, but not in time before her death.

Mark 5:28–43 CEB

28 She was thinking, If I can just touch his clothes, I’ll be healed. 29 Her bleeding stopped immediately, and she sensed in her body that her illness had been healed. 30 At that very moment, Jesus recognized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?” 31 His disciples said to him, “Don’t you see the crowd pressing against you? Yet you ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” 32 But Jesus looked around carefully to see who had done it. 33 The woman, full of fear and trembling, came forward. Knowing what had happened to her, she fell down in front of Jesus and told him the whole truth. 34 He responded, “Daughter, your faith has healed you; go in peace, healed from your disease.” 35 While Jesus was still speaking with her, messengers came from the synagogue leader’s house, saying to Jairus, “Your daughter has died. Why bother the teacher any longer?” 36 But Jesus overheard their report and said to the synagogue leader, “Don’t be afraid; just keep trusting.” 37 He didn’t allow anyone to follow him except Peter, James, and John, James’ brother. 38 They came to the synagogue leader’s house, and he saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. 39 He went in and said to them, “What’s all this commotion and crying about? The child isn’t dead. She’s only sleeping.” 40 They laughed at him, but he threw them all out. Then, taking the child’s parents and his disciples with him, he went to the room where the child was. 41 Taking her hand, he said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Young woman, get up.” 42 Suddenly the young woman got up and began to walk around. She was 12 years old. They were shocked! 43 He gave them strict orders that no one should know what had happened. Then he told them to give her something to eat.

Mark 5:38–43 CEB

38 They came to the synagogue leader’s house, and he saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. 39 He went in and said to them, “What’s all this commotion and crying about? The child isn’t dead. She’s only sleeping.” 40 They laughed at him, but he threw them all out. Then, taking the child’s parents and his disciples with him, he went to the room where the child was. 41 Taking her hand, he said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Young woman, get up.” 42 Suddenly the young woman got up and began to walk around. She was 12 years old. They were shocked! 43 He gave them strict orders that no one should know what had happened. Then he told them to give her something to eat.

Mark 5:

mark

Mark 5:38–42 CEB

Notice He threw the crowd out, he was prioritizing his time for the family. The needs of the crowd and mourners, family friends, neighbors, was put aside, for a higher priority of this child and her family. It was a happy ending. Imagine how touched they were that Jesus made this detour in his travel plans to give them the support they needed.

He threw the crowd out, signifying that he was prioritizing this time for the family. The needs of the crowd and mourners, family friends, neighbors, was put aside, for a higher priority of this child and her family. It was ha

Young people need load-bearing roles in the community, meaning they contribute through serving and using their gifts.

Good leaders and programs do not automatically lead to prioritization, nor are good intentions enough. Prioritizing young people everywhere often requires a congregational culture shift.

When the research teams asked high school students why they keep coming back to their church, they frequently named their responsibilities in the church. Playing in the worship band, serving in children’s ministry, helping in the neighborhood—these needs keep them accountable and connected.

When older adults in the congregations were asked to name ways teenagers and emerging adults contribute to the church, 75% shared that they assist in worship services (especially through music), provide leadership, children’s ministry, mentor younger kids, serve broader community.

Contribute an essential part of ministry together with the older members of the congregation also build up the community.

Want a Happy Marriage? Do the Dishes Together.

Every day, they slowly accumulate. Plates covered in sauces and crumbs. Forks, knives, and spoons all gummed with bits of this and that. At the end of a long day of work, cooking, cleaning, and, for many, negotiating with small children, a couple has to face the big question: Who is going to do the dishes?

A report from the Council of Contemporary Families suggests that the answer to that question can have a significant impact on the health and longevity of a relationship. It found that, for women it’s more important to share the responsibility of doing the dishes than any other chore. Women who wash the vast majority of the dishes report more relationship conflict, less relationship satisfaction, and even worse sex, than women with partners who help. Women are happier about sharing dishwashing duties than sharing any other household task.

What is it about dishes? Dan Carlson, the lead author of the study, offers one possible reason: “Doing dishes is gross. There is old, moldy food sitting in the sink. If you have kids, there is curdled milk in sippy cups that smells disgusting.”

Couples who do share dishwashing responsibilities seem to have better relationships. According to Carlson, that’s because a couple can do dishes as a team. When partners each handle some portion of the household tasks, they divide them in one of two ways. They either split the chores— “you cook Monday, I’ll cook Tuesday”—or they do them together, at the same time.

The nature of dishwashing encourages couples to stand in the kitchen together and work simultaneously until the job is done. That kind of teamwork, especially when practiced regularly, often makes partners feel more connected, ready to tackle the gross and the curdled, in and outside of the sink.

Just look at us. Young people in the choir, praise bands, string ensemble. Young elders, department officers and leaders, teen helpers in Pathfinder and Adventurers, youth mission work in the community. Let’s keep it up and build it up even more. Make it even more of a priority.

A priority to foster young people to be active load-bearing participants in the church community.

Jesus invites us to grow young as we both welcome and become like children, who are examples of how to receive the kingdom of God. (Mark 20:13-16)

The disciples were used to crowds and endless days teaching healing, and the demands of the people seeking to hear Jesus.

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

They were used to Jesus prioritizing his time for families and children. Remember the story of Jairius daughter.

Powell, Kara. Growing Young: Six Essential Strategies to Help Young People Discover and Love Your Church . Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

He had already told them about the value of children when he took a child in his arms and declared,

“Whoever welcomes one of these children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me isn’t actually welcoming me but rather the one who sent me.” .

“Whoever welcomes one of these children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me isn’t actually welcoming me but rather the one who sent me.”

Common English Bible, (Nashville, TN: Common English Bible, 2011), .

Mark 9:37 CEB

“Whoever welcomes one of these children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me isn’t actually welcoming me but rather the one who sent me.”

They must have thought he was speaking hyperbolically.

Even though we see that children were treasured in the OT, by the time of the first century AD, children were viewed as unequal in value to adults. Their life stage was seen more of a training ground for adulthood, and not a significant life stage to prioritize.

Jesus, however, eagerly welcomed young people to come close to him, at the expense of the adults who thought they had the upper hand access to his power, ideas, and help.

Whether they didn’t understand or did not believe him, they made a choice that crossed the line. People were bringing children to Jesus so he could minister to them. But his irritated the disciples.

Mark 10:13 CEB

People were bringing children to Jesus so that he would bless them. But the disciples scolded them.

They must have felt Jesus had more important things to do with the more important adults around him.

Well Jesus would not have any of that nonsense.

Mark 10:14–16 CEB

14 When Jesus saw this, he grew angry and said to them, “Allow the children to come to me. Don’t forbid them, because God’s kingdom belongs to people like these children. 15 I assure you that whoever doesn’t welcome God’s kingdom like a child will never enter it.” 16 Then he hugged the children and blessed them.

He moved from a command to welcome children, to a command to become like children.

Jesus is bidding us to grow young, as he was the disciples.

Not only are children eligible to receive the kingdom, they are great examples of how to do so.

Children are sincere, willing to trust, and fully dependent on those in whom they trust.

We stand on solid ground theologically, when we prioritize young people everywhere in our congregation.

See! !

Ideas for Action

Rethink the numbers.

budget, if low or no young people attending, then it might be that it’s not designed in a way that will meet young people’s needs. Rethink, then plan accordingly.

We did this years ago with young adult ministry. The Net.

Ask, “How can young people be a part of this?”

Answering this question leads to better processes to make the changes that are needed to accommodate young people.

Nominating committee one time, welcomed young people to come share what they wanted to see happen in our church. They listened, and planned accordingly. So those very young people became youth leaders.

Address family pain and brokenness through support groups.

Even beyond what we provide, there is room for recovery groups, grief, and simply groups designed to have fun together to get away from life’s stresses for a brief time.

Whatever ideas come from this, let us all accept the challenge to follow Jesus’ example and