Clear Focus

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How to know when to date.

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ME - What does a solid relationship look like? Do we consider there to be #relationshipgoals?
What would they be?
To have lots of money.
Marry a doctor one day.
To be happy
Have someone to hold…Hug, Kiss.. on top of the head. (Brooke and Matt..Forehead)
Someone that when you snuggle you feel like you’ve found you’re true soulmate.
Someone to tell you “I love you”
Pay for nice dates… Girls gotta eat… Amen.
Someone that can make you laugh and feel good about yourself…
We all have these goals.. and ideas of what a relationship should look like....
Side note: As I was working on this, I was in a coffee shop this week after a hospital visit… there were two teens sitting together… the girl literally laughed after every stinkin statement she made… (That dude don’t care about that one time you went to a musical.. he’s thinking.. oh man if this is a thing… she better not be bringing to no musical.)
She was throwing out all the punches bro… Oh yes, I love Greece.. Im going again this summer. I cant wait. .... Him: Oh yeah.. I totally wish I could come with you…
AH!!! COFE IS OUT! Done listening to that!!!
I’m just going to drop the bad news for everyone… When people start dating… they present their BEST self. Hey look at me … I’m so Flawless! It Aint even funny! Look at me.
Here’s the bad news… that person probably does a lot of stuff that you dont like. They will hide these things. When the day comes for marriage… it all starts to come out.
Oh he actually never cleans up after himself… oh she actually doesnt wear makeup 24/7! She actually like to put her hair up and wear sweat pants… and you gotta be ok with that!
Meagan tells me all the time.. you are not the same person I thought I was marrying.... Sorry Meag!! GOTCHA!!!
Did you know there are so many times in Relationships where you’re not happy… Things are NOT going your way.
HONEY you didnt load the dishwasher right!
Hey Jon… once again you didnt take out the trash...
MEAG… You’re not cooking again?! Really?
What restaurant we going to eat… IDK. whatever you want.. ok Mexican… NOOOOO I hate mexican.. you love Mexican… NOOO… today I hate Mexican food. Pick something else… Ok.. Chili’s WHAT! Why would you....
Sometimes… we get into heated arguments… Christian term for fights…
I’m telling you ..... basically Meag will come to me, on her hands and knees.....then she looks under the bed.. and says COME OUT AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN YOU COWARD!
We’ve been so mad at each other that we didn’t talk for a few days…
Students if you think you are going to get into a relationship and not have any issues…You are in for a world of hurt.
Marriage in the future.. its a Journey… not a destination. You can not think that you will be in a relationship and stay “in love” with them for the rest of your life.
Being in a relationship is not even for those reasons.
The idea I want you to understand tonight is this..
I can not think about dating.. until my Focus is where it needs to be.
Oh Brother Jonathan you dont understand if I wait for the right person… I may never find them.
I can’t wait until marriage… What if I never find the right person for me...
I.. I … I … I
You see.. its about Focus.
GOD- Tonights passage may seem a bit odd for Dating advice.. BUT once I read it.. I can no longer unsee it.
Let’s Read
Illustr: Rachel.. setting me straight. Then I found Meag once my focus got off of ME… and on to Christ.
Point 1 Check Your Focus
Students .. where is your Focus? Is it on you or Jesus. {Go to Circle Illustration)
We may think.. what about me… my wants.. my desires in a relationship..
What about my #relationshipgoals ?! Don’t they matter.... I’m not saying discard yourself totally. God does want us to be happy, just not the same way we might think.
We are only made happy when we find our Happiness in Jesus.
Ladies… I dont care how attractive, funny, wealthy, smart, tall the dude is… I dont care how beautiful he makes you feel.. There is no guy that can take the place of Jesus in your life.
You have to get that right first. If you’re in relationships where one of you is not devoted to Jesus.. something needs to be stop… Pause.. get right with Jesus… both of you .. then see if God is leading you to proceed.
Guys do you actually make it a matter of prayer to date the girl you like?
I’m not saying.. please Lord.. she’s SOOO out of my league.. make her like me.. NO No… Lord is it your will for us to date. We’ve been flirting… I think my relationship with you is solid… can we date? OK?! That is a better plan.
None of this … oh she is CUTE… you see how smiled at me… and laughs over everything she tells me.. oh you know she liking some ME!
Why not ask the Lord.. Lord.. would your name be honored if we dated?
Hey listen.. I’ve been there.. I’ve dated with the wrong motives… they all turned out bad… I like to think they were all just crazy… but Mainly.. My FOCUS wasnt right!
HUGE POINT: You may worry and worry and worry .. whom I gonna date? How much longer can we date… until they realize the real me...
Point 2 , , Stop worrying. Stop Focusing on the wrong thing.
We build up all this worry.. all these concerns… yet we need to get back to the right focus.
I see so may students.. who are willing to place their focus off if God and on to them… Morals go out the door.... Hey Do not give Dogs what is Holy.. don’t throw your pearls before pigs… keep those pearls baby! They are the Lord’s.
What happens when one person who isn't right with God… Gets into a relationship with another person who isn't right with God… guess what they Godly principles they are following?
I used to worry so bad.... about these things.... anyone still interested tonight? I have more.
- Hey Cofe.. You see… I have this issue.. I’m single for life bro… HEY thats ok.. I thought I would be too… But I would say.. thats good.. now where does your focus need to be.
Hey Cofe.. YOu see… I have this issue.. I’m single for life bro… HEY thats ok.. I thought I would be too… But I would say.. thats good.. now where does your focus need to be.
YOU-
More advice… the decisions you make today in dating.. will be the decisions that shape your future .
YOu mess up… you say I love… you give away your heart to someone.. that will all affect your future marriage. Dont think for a second that marriage is the cure for all past issues.. listen.. all that is is baggage brought in.
FOCUS-( ) Where is your focus.. Dont worry about tomorrow… it’ll take care of itself… Focus on Jesus today. Get right with Him. Live for HIM today.
Listen.. you have to believe today.. that Christ is enough!
WE- Students:
- Tonight… Some of you need healing from bad relationships.
- Some of you have never dated.. tonight is the perfect time.. to place your focus in Jesus
Some of you do not know Jesus at all. Come to know Him.
Some of you are super interested in dating.. BUT you need to get your focus right first.
The altar tonight is ready for you...
Healing from past regrets… worries.. and relationships can start tonight. Come let someone pray for you.. or just give it to God.
Lets make it a night to remember that tonight.. My Focus shifted from ME.. Jesus. It’ll change your life!
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