Stress Management

What Can I Do?

I had a doctor appt in December.

He told me the inevitable.

Many of us have been there, maybe right in the middle of it right now.

He said there are 3 numbers I have to lower.

My weight, cholesterol, and BP

None of this is too serious right now, but I’m 58 and over time related issues will get serious.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a pill.

But there is, or are. And, maybe necessary.

Taking pills for body chemistry doesn’t really excite me.

When I was younger, and not too much younger, I was able to control all this w/ a disciplined approach to diet and exercise.

So, the obvious question is, “What happened?”

If I had the numbers down before why are they up?

Simple. I hate exercise and I love bacon cheese burgers.

So, I quit exercising and kept eating!

What now? I need a do-over before it’s too late.

I’ve got a family history that I need to be honest about.

I’ve got family members who use BP meds. And, some have been in the news lately for some bad side-effects. And, I’ve got family members who have trouble w/ statens.

So, what can I do?

One option is to do nothing.

Hope those numbers down on their own.

That will probably just make my BP go higher as I stress over what’s not happening.

Or, pray and do nothing.

Expect God to do it all for me.

But, that’s not how God normally does things.

Suck it up sister and get to the gym.

Maybe I just need to suck it up sister and go to the gym.

Putting on my big boy pants and work out has a whole different meaning. I’d never been bigger.

I have no legitimate excuse not to.

I’m just speaking for myself here. I know some of you can relate to what I’m saying.

But, I also know some of you this just doesn’t work for you and you need another approach; maybe the meds.

And, still others, maybe, this just isn’t an issue.

The point is, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we need to do something and we can do something but it’s just hard.

It’s stressful.

To live in denial and passivity is stressful b/c we know we’re not addressing the issues. We’re just avoiding them and they aren’t going away.

Eventually, the inevitable will eventually happen.

But, it’s also stressful to do what we can when it’s hard. And, we may not know if we really can do anything about it until we try.

So, we have to start w/out knowing.

There are very few things more stressful than needing to do something that we just can’t do.

But, I can do this. I can do something.

Compounding it all is I know God could resolve my issues w/ a word from heaven, snap his fingers, wiggle his nose, whatever.

And, He hasn’t. So, I have to do something.

Does that mean God is uninvolved? No. It means He’s involved w/ me in the process of doing what I can b/c He gave me the ability to do it.

He expects me to use what He gave me and He’s not going to do it for me.

He gave us that ability, too.

Like any good parent.

God has given me everything I need t/b self-disciplined He just didn’t make me self-disciplined.

I need help.

Change clothes and head to the gym every evening.

But, do you know how cold that room is this winter?

And, they don’t have the satellite working over the winter.

I am intelligent enough to come up w/ 100 reasons why I don’t need to work out today.

But, I’m a mental midget when I get there and my mind scrams quit after 5 minutes.

I need help only eating what I’m supposed to eat.

Do you know how many cookies and donuts there are in the fridge right now? Every afternoon when my stomach starts to growl; Help!

Suck it up sister!

We’re in a series called “Do-Over”

We need do-overs b/c we didn’t do it right the first time.

We could have, but we didn’t

I did for a while, but I quit.

For whatever reason, rebellion, short-cuts, denial...

This time, I need to do it right. And, it’s hard. It only gets harder so waiting isn’t an option.

When you get a do-over what are you going to do w/ it?

This morning we’re in where Israel is in the middle of their do-over and they are in the process of rebuilding the wall.

What Nehemiah and Israel practiced here is something we need to get for hard things that God has told us to do that He won’t do for us.

To do it right this time, we need help from God to use what He gave us to do what He told us.

In this chapter Isreal faced opposition and some of it was fierce and terrifying. But they had to keep working to finish wall in spite of the threats.

How did they do it?

Heart

Threat: Ridicule

Nehemiah 4:1–3 NIV

When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, “What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?” Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, “What they are building—even a fox climbing up on it would break down their wall of stones!”

We met these critics last week. Same ones.

These voices from outside were saying:

You’re feeble. You can’t do this. Why do you even try?

You’re weak. You don’t know what you’re doing.

“Finish in day.” He means you never considered what a big job this is and how long it’s going to take. Quit now.

“Offer sacrifices” meaning “you will never finish” b/c the sacrifices will be offered when it’s done.

Even if you start and try you’ll fail in the end.

You should quit exercising. You can’t do this. Eat whatever you want.

If you do this, you won’t finish. You’ll quit. You’re weak.

And, in the unlikely scenario that you actually do finish, it won’t work. You’re BP won’t come down.

These voices. For Israel they were from outside. And, for some of us we have people telling us we can’t.

More often, the voice is from inside.

Just like I’m tempted to quit after 5 minutes.

You can’t do that. You can’t lose weight.

You can’t have an effective conversation w/ your husband.

You can’t love him the way Jesus loves the church.

He doesn’t love you that way. So, why should you give up anything for him?

You know those voices.

So, how did Nehemiah and Israel respond?

Response: Diligence

Nehemiah 4:4–6 NIV

Hear us, our God, for we are despised. Turn their insults back on their own heads. Give them over as plunder in a land of captivity. Do not cover up their guilt or blot out their sins from your sight, for they have thrown insults in the face of the builders. So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart.

First, he prayed. Prayer, by definition, is humble dependence on God. Acknowledging that God is powerful and authoritative. He can do something.

Otherwise, why pray?

The prayer sounds condemning. It is, to a point. But, they knew God had already condemned their enemies.

The original promise to Abraham was to curse those who cursed Israel. So, they are reminding God of the promise He had already made.

They prayed, then the got busy. They rededicated themselves to the work.

Not only did they not quit, or expect God to do all the work.

They worked w/ all their heart.

They re-engaged. All in and in short order, just about 4 weeks, they were halfway done.

So, they prayed, trusted God to deal w/ their enemies and those voices. And since they trusted God to deal them they could ignore them and get on w/ the work.

They understood the balance between human effort and divine intervention. They couldn’t finish the task w/out God’s involvement.

And, God wasn’t going to do it for them.

But, b/c God was involved they could focus on what they could do and have success.

All that did was make their critics even angrier. They ramped up their threats.

Nehemiah had to respond.

Here’s what happened.

Watch

Threat: Sneak Attack

Nehemiah 4:7–8 NIV

But when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the people of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, they were very angry. They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it.

Nehemiah

Nehemiah 4:7–9 NIV

But when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the people of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, they were very angry. They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem and stir up trouble against it. But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.

There diligence didn’t quite their critics. It only made them raise the intensity and severity of the threats.

They threatened to attack. A sneak attack. They implied Israel would never see them coming nor have time to prepare to defend themselves. They would be sitting ducks.

The Samaritans from the north.

The Ammonites from the east.

The Arabs from the south.

And, the men from Ashdod from the west.

An attack when they would least expect it from all sides.

It might happen today. It might happen tomorrow. It might happen next week or next month.

Be afraid b/c you’ll never see it coming.

What’s more paralyzing that the fear of what might happen?

Psychologists say that 90% of what we’re afraid of happening never actually happens.

It still keeps us up at night, makes us short-tempered and long-suffering.

Fear of the unknown, the mights and maybes.

Maybe if I keep exercising like this I’ll have heart attack and they’ll never find me till the next morning.

Then, what’s Sara going to do?

She can’t stay in our house here. The fire wood is too heavy. She’ll have to move next week.

Was that a chest pain just now? Maybe I’m having a heart attack right now. Or, is that the sign of a stroke? Or, an aneurysm? Maybe I should just quit and go the ER right now.

The fear of what might happen. Plant the seed and we’ll run w/ it.

One voice from outside, or w/in, and we’ve got one foot in the grave already.

They knew they were vulnerable to attack, that’s why they were building the wall.

That was the culture of the day. It wasn’t a question of if they were going to be attacked.

If they were so busy they couldn’t see it coming then they wouldn’t have time to defend themselves.

They weren’t so concerned about the attack as they were being surprised by it.

So, what was Nehemiah’s response to this threat?

Response: Watchmen

Nehemiah 4:9 NIV

But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.

Nehemiah 4:9

He prayed. Then did what he could do. Posted watchmen.

If the threat was a sneak attack then the answer is to watch for them.

Again, an option was to do nothing and just hope it never happened. But, that’s stressful.

Not knowing, assuming it’s going to happen, wondering if they’d be ready, would paralyze them from their work.

Assuming God would tap somebody on the shoulder between laying bricks.

“Excuse Me. But it seems there’s an army sneaking up on you.”

Yes, He could.

But, He gave the men of Israel eyes, ears, and wisdom to watch and know if they were being snuck up on.

Use what God has given you to do what God has told you.

The threats didn’t stop there. The threat of attack was still very real and these men who had been captives in Persia, not experienced wall-builders, began to tire out.

They had been working diligently for weeks and so a new angle on the old threats came up.

They needed more bodies to do everything that needed t/b done.

Here’s how Nehemiah handled it.

Strength

Threat: Weakness

Nehemiah 4:10–12 NIV

Meanwhile, the people in Judah said, “The strength of the laborers is giving out, and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall.” Also our enemies said, “Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work.” Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, “Wherever you turn, they will attack us.”

It’s wearing on them

They are exhausted physically from the labor, emotionally from the threat of the mights and maybes, and mentally from having to concentrate on building a wall and plan for a defense if attacked.

Their strength was giving out.

Maybe the voices were right. They are too feeble. Too weak.

There is still so much to do and the temptation to quit was strong.

Those voices. You don’t know enough. You don’t know what to say or what to do. Yeah, you knew enough to start, but you’ll never finish.

Nehemiah’s response:

Response: Show of strength

Nehemiah 4:13–14 NIV

Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”

Nehemiah recruited more bodies. Women and children. And, he armed them.

More eyes to watch. More ears to hear. More bodies to build.

It would have been hard for the husbands and fathers to see their wives and children there. But, that also would have motivated them to finish the work.

When our minds say “quit” our bodies can usually keep going. We have resources we don’t know that we have.

Nehemiah posted them at the low points, unfinished spots in the walls.

Their concern for the families was not as strong as the calming effect of having more people available to help watch and assist.

When our minds say “quit” our bodies can usually keep going. We have resources we don’t know that we have.

And, another resource they had maybe forgotten.

Nehemiah reminded them that God had protected them before and he would again.

They forgot the balance. This is a healthy balance of human effort and divine intervention.

God has provided us w/ resources w/in to use to do what He tells us to do. The are inadequate by themselves. That is, w/out God’s help.

A combination of the strength of God and the abilities He has given us will bring success.

Combined w/ the strength of God,

We regularly forget all the resources we have access to.

We know full well the limitations we have. And, often we overcook our limitations.

We have powerful gifts from God. We have brains and brawn. Alone we are capable of a lot.

But, when combined w/ the power of the HS, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, we can do everything God has called us to do.

Paul wrote on this subject to NT believers in 2 Corinthians and Romans.

We Have Help

2 Corinthians 4:7–10 NIV

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

We need help

2 Corinthians 4:7-

Our fundamental weakness is we are like clay jars, cracked pots.

But, thru our cracks and flaws the glory of God shines.

Always, Paul wrote, we carry in our bodies the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may be revealed in us and thru us.

W/out God, we are easily crushed, despairing, abandoned, and destroyed.

W/ God, when we face hard things we are still hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down from time to time.

Why?

God could have easily eliminated Nehemiah’s critics and opposition w/ a word, w/ a flick of his finger. It would have been nothing to God.

But He didn’t.

Why does God allow us into situations that require hard work? And, what does He do about it?

Romans 5:

Romans 5:3–5 NIV

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Hope and the Holy Spirit.

Hope, b/c we know we win in the end. There is a bright future now matter how dark our present seems.

We can do what God tells us to do even though it’s hard.

We do it w/ God’s help. That’s the HS.

So, when we are successful, only God can get the credit. He gave us what we have to use and He empowered us w/ the HS.

The life of Jesus shines thru the cracks and weak spots in our minds and bodies when we are successful.

And this success gives us hope.

No matter how the battles go between now and the end, we win the war. That, then, encourages us in the battle.

Whether it’s the battle to get healthy, or the battle to love a spouse unconditionally, or the battle to speak to a friend about Jesus.

The resources we have that came from God, combined with the power of God enable us to everything God has called us to do.

Jesus said build my church.

He could have just said the word. But He didn’t.

He chose to give us gifts, that when combined w/ the gifts of others and the power of the HS we can build this church.

Just like me and the gym, we have no legitimate excuse not to.

“But, I don’t have all the answers.”

You don’t need all the answers. You just need to tell your story.

But, my friends my reject me and stop inviting me to things.

They aren’t rejecting you, they are rejecting God. And, we were warned this would happen.

God helps us manage the stress in our lives. The assignments are hard. He does give us more than we can do. But, then He helps us get it done.

The temptation is to quit. Quit before we begin. Or, quit halfway. We may try on our own, w/out His help and burn out.

Or, we may just do nothing hoping God will do it for us ad whomever needs to will figure out what we’re hoping for by osmosis.

When you get your do-overs and you want to do it right, then you need help from God to use what He gave you to do what He told you.

Applications

Let Go

Let God handle your critics. Those voices from outside.

Pray for them. But let God handle whatever needs t/b done to them.

He doesn’t need your input.

Just place them in God’s hands and let it go then get busy doing what God wants you to do.

You don’t have to stress over “get-even” b/c you’ve let God do it.

He’ll do it exactly the right way, the right amount, and the right time.

Forget them and move on.

Believe

Believe in the resources God has given you.

This is not arrogance b/c you have to admit God gave them to you. You didn’t earn them. You didn’t pick them off a menu when your mother was pregnant w/ you.

Humbly, but confidently believe in the abilities, brains, and brawn that God has placed inside you.

You’re not the only one God forgot to equip.

That’s arrogant, too. You’ve singled yourself out as uniquely unqualified to do anything.

God would never put you in a round room and tell you to sit in the corner.

If He’s told you to do something then He’s equipped you to do it, too.

Well, w/ His help.

Let God

Even w/ the resources God has already equipped you w/ they will be completely inadequate w/out letting God use them thru you.

Pray. Thank God for what you have. Confess your pride. Then, ask God to use what He gave you to do what He’s told you.

Then, get busy. Stay diligent and vigilant.

Don’t fear the mights and maybes. God has equipped you to deal w/ the realities.

Leave the rest to Him.

Whether it’s getting healthy, talking to a friend about Jesus, serving on a board or committee in MP, or taking care of important family business; always remember;

You are a weak and feeble cracked pot that’s been filled w/ the life of Jesus.

Not only should you start what God is telling you to do, but you can finish it.

B/C, when you want to do it right, finish right, God will help us to use what He gave us to do what He told us.