What Does the Bible Say About Dating?
Valentines Series • Sermon • Submitted
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· 9 viewsScripture is silent on dating, so we must apply godly wisdom to its practice.
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Start with some questions (who’s dating? who did I just put in an awkward position by asking?). Then share a funny personal story about dating (first relationships, always thought I was going to marry my girl friend [except for my wife]).
If we are truly Christ followers, then we want every part of our lives to be devoted to Him, including our dating life. We need to submit it to Him, entirely!
Especially this part of our lives really, because for so many of us, our boyfriend or girlfriend has so much influence over us!
So lets see what the Bible tells us about dating. I’m going to tell y’all everything is says! We’ll throw it up on a slide.
Nada
The Bible doesn’t say a word about dating. Dating is not a biblical concept. Arranged marriages are a biblical concept. Who’s up for that? No romantic relationship before betrothal is a biblical concept.
Dating is something that has started much more recently. So we have to take biblical wisdom and apply it. So, this is how the Bible informs us on dating.
Hear, my son, and be wise, and direct your heart in the way.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
So let’s start from the beginning in applying godly wisdom to this.
Should I date?
Should I date?
Do your parents say it’s ok?
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Your parents love you and want good for you. Yes, they can make mistakes some times and not letting you date may or may not be one of them. But this commandment doesn’t have an “unless”.
Why do you want to date? Are you looking for something you should be finding in Jesus?
Man I used to look for love and approval from having a girl friend. I’m really not sure how much who she was mattered...
If you can’t be happy without a girlfriend or boyfriend, you probably shouldn’t date.
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
We have to find our completion in Jesus.
Kristen and I did a lesson a few years ago called True Love Does Not Wait...
You should have seen my head pastor’s face when I told him! He was a stuffy older guy and he got real confused for a second… (Ted Spears).
The love we seek is found in Him and only in Him. No person on Earth can fill that void for us, we will only feel heart break if we try to make someone.
They will ultimately disappoint.
So, if your parents are cool with it and you are content with who you are in Jesus, next question.
Who should I date?
Who should I date?
You should date a fellow Christian
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
This is a principle for marriage, but here I believe it applies to dating.
Date someone your parents are ok with.
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
Your parents have so much more wisdom than you. This is true for almost all of you.
You’re all thinking, “Not for me!” If you’re thinking that, your parents have more wisdom than you.
If they don’t like a guy or girl, it’s most likely because they see something you don’t. Trust them. Trust the God who put them in your life.
Date someone who isn’t a distraction, but encourages you in your relationship with Jesus.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
If you do this, it’s going to make dating and every other part of your life much better and often clearer.
Someone who is respectful. Of you, your family, and your friends.
Not controlling or demeaning.
If someone talks bad about your parents, that’s generally bad news. If they’re trying to get your to think your parents are against you, this is not a person you should date.
And just as a piece of advice, it’s not a great look if you are disrespectful to your parents in front of your bae either. I dated a girl who was like that… so uncomfortable.
If you are with someone who is abusive, emotionally or physically, run. Tell someone and run.
Date someone who is modest. Guys and girls!
So you’re ready to date, you know who to date, now what?
How do I date?
How do I date?
Not like you’re married. I mean two things.
We talked last week about God’s plan for sex.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
This is God’s plan for sex: that it be between a husband and a wife for consummation, intimacy, pleasure, and growing a family. Now we’re going to talk about what the world says.
Be smart about this. Don’t get into situations that let you be tempted.
It’s a lot easier to not be burned by lava if I stay away from the active volcano!
Do things together that allow you to have one-on-one time, but don’t allow you to be tempted to fall into sexual sin.
My go to date when I was in high school and college was DVD and chill. I wanted to get my girlfriend in a dark room on a couch. That had a staggeringly low success rate on honoring the Lord.
Flee from temptation is what Scripture tells us.
Second, don’t behave like you’re married.
Don’t forget you have other friends. Your friends will likely last longer than bae.
Don’t get into a place where your life revolves around the person you’re dating.
I was like this with the girl I dated before Kristen. It was because I knew the relationship was weak and I was trying to make sure nothing could come up to distract us from each other.
If you have to do that, just let go. Those friends are probably telling you it’s not going well anyway!
Encourage each other in your relationship with Jesus.
But remember...
Husbands are called to be spiritual leaders, not boyfriends...
Wives are called to submit, not girlfriends.
Speaking of husbands and wives, what’s the ultimate point of dating?
Dating is for marriage.
Dating is for marriage.
I don’t mean that you should only date to get married. That’s something for you to pray through, talk with your parents about, and figure out.
My personal opinion, if you’re younger, then it’s fine to date and begin to learn what you’re looking for in a husband or wife. When you get older, 17 or 18 years old, if you know the person you’re with isn’t the one you’re going to marry, you should really pray about if it’s good for you to continue in the relationship.
Again, pray about this. Talk with your parents about this!
The ultimate goal of dating should be marriage, whether that’s with the idea of “what do I want in a spouse” or “is this the person I’m going to get engaged to soon?”. “What should I do as a husband or a wife?”
Marriage is about the Gospel.
Marriage is about the Gospel.
Read .
Marriage is a reflection of Christ's relationship to the church.
He is faithful, He has eyes only for his church, He will never abandon his church.
He lovingly leads his church. We lovingly submit.
Guys, we prepare to be a spiritual leader in our time and experiences leading up to being a husband and continuing on into our marriage.
Ladies
Most importantly, He loves with the truest of loves.
That love is available to us now, we don't have to wait until we are married to experience true love.
Marriage is a picture of the Gospel, and the Gospel, the truest of loves, has been available from the start. No need to wait on it.
Show how the Gospel story is a love story