Role Relations in Marriage

Christian wives are called to submit to their husbands ()

Explanation: This begins the third section on submission for the believer. Peter has addressed how Believers are to be subject to government authority (2:13-16), and how believers are to relate in the area of slave to master (2:18-25), and now he turns attention to the home.

He begins with wives, and under the authority of the Holy Spirit, he gives the imperative for them to submit to their husbands. The term submit means to arrange underneath and is an organizational concept. The word is not meant to convey that a woman is to be a door mat or a personal valet to the husband. In no way does it imply any inherent inferiority of a female as compared to the male. Men and women are equal in being created in the image of God, and there is no spiritual superiority for either gender at the Cross ()

Submission does reflect distinct roles within the family, and it points to the created order in which God ordained the husband to be the leader. This actually places more responsibility for judgment upon the husband, as in God’s eyes the husband is more liable than the wife for decisions

Now, as to a specific purpose of submission: Peter addresses the situation in which a Christian wife is married to an unbeliever. He states the wife’s submissive behavior to a pagan husband can be used of God to lead this man to faith in Christ. The wife’s godly submission, which he witnesses on a daily basis, is more effective than a constant nagging to go to church or to read a tract.

While Peter is addressing a specific situation (believing wife / pagan husband), the issue of submission is for all Christian women. God uses the wife’s submissiveness in many ways.

Christian wives are called to outward modesty ()

Explanation: Peter moves to a very important but sensitive issue when he addresses the area of modesty. He tells the wives not to be overly attentive to outward beauty. He specifically mentions 2 areas, that of hair care and clothing. Roman women of the upper class spent amazing amounts of time and money on fixing their hair and would wear as much jewelry as possible. While doing this, they would also dress seductively for maximum WOW Factor! Peter is telling Christian women that this type of behavior is out of bonds for them.

Illustrate: how many clothing items for men have writing on the seat?

Argument: Peter is not telling them to put their hair in a twist and throw on a ball cap and some sweats when they go out to Wal-Mart. He is telling them to avoid being ostentatious, the over-the-top, look at me, Kardashian-style, outward appearance. Instead, the women are to focus on the inner beauty that is expressed in a quiet spirit that does not draw attention to the physical. At the end of the section in Proverbs that deals with the godly woman, we are reminded that, “charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” ()

Wives are called to personal holiness ()

Peter issues a summary statement for Christian wives by using a historical reference back to Sarah, the wife of Abraham. Peter tells the Christian women to use Sarah as an example in the area of submission. Sarah referred to Abraham as “lord” which was used as a title of respect, not meaning that she was Abraham’s door mat. Sarah respected Abraham and followed his leadership, even when she didn’t believe he was going in the right direction. God honored her obedience, and he will honor the obedience a Christian wife gives her husband

Christian husbands are called to respect their wives ()

Explanation: Peter only gives on verse out of seven to the men in this section on marital roles. This is no way lessens the responsibility of the husband. God will hold the Christian husband more responsible at the judgment for the conduct of the family.

Peter does address the husband’s need to treat his wife with respect and tenderness. The wife is referred to as the weaker vessel, and the meaning is straightforward: in most cases, men are physically stronger than women. This is not a putdown or a case of inferiority; it is a case of human biology in the created order. Because this is the case, the husband is called to protect and care for his wife, not to abuse her or physically intimidate her.

Illustrate: Marine Corp standards for combat positions had to be lowered to allow women to pass.

Peter addresses the consequences to the husband when he mistreats or disrespects his wife by stating that in such cases the husband’s prayer life will be dead. God will not bless sin in this area!