Picking and Dropping Friends

Joke: When I was a kid my dad would say “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose.... Even though that is a lame dad joke… There is actually wisdom in it. You can pick your friends. You can pick who influences you and who does. You can pick who you spend time with and who you don’t. Sometimes it seems like it doesn’t matter much… especially if you are in 7th grade… You are probably sitting there going… “Why does it matter who I am friends with right now”

Read: 20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Joke: When I was a kid my dad would say “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose.... So from that every lame dad joke comes our topic of picking your friends.

The purpose of this is not so that you go home and delete all of your friends. I want you do start asking questions about who should have influence in your life.

Joke: When I was a kid my dad would say “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose.... So from that every lame dad joke comes our topic of picking your friends.

Last week James showed you guys what God is doing in Friendship. Or why God created friendship. Here is a reminder and write these down because we are going to piggy back off of them tonight.

God designed friendship so that we would...

be known

To be known

Bear one another’s burdens

Help each other follow Jesus

Make visible God’s love, grace, mercy, etc.

- The purpose of this is not so that you go home and delete all of your friends. I want you do start asking questions about who should have influence in your life.

Intro: Who your closest friends are right now will influence you more than you know. They will influence you in small ways and big ways. Some you will see and others will just happen without you even knowing.

For instance… 2 and half years ago I came back and started working at Church at the Cross. I started to hang out with you guys and I started to spend a lot of time with James Sercey… Before I got here I was my own person… saying my own phrases and wearing the clothes I liked… Then one day… I wake up and I have Clarks boots on… My jeans are rolled up and I am saying things like “Snaggletooth”…

For instance… 2 and half years ago I came back and started working at Church at the Cross. I started to hang out with you guys and I started to spend a lot of time with James Sercey… Before I got here I was my own person… saying my own phrases and wearing the clothes I liked… Then one day… I wake up and I have Clarks boots on… My jeans are rolled up and I am saying things like “Snagletooth”…

Most of you have probably not heard James say this but there were many other things like that that I started to take on while hanging out with know… I know… this is a dumb example of influence but it represents a bigger picture..

- You all have that group of friends in which that group and the way they think, act, what they like to do, what they wear, who they listen to, what they think is important changes how you do all of those things too… whether you realize it right now or not. Some of you may not see it right now but in a mater of months or years you will wake up one morning and find yourself exactly like those friends.

You all have that group of friends in which that group and the way they think, act, what they like to do, what they wear, who they listen to, what they think is important changes how you do all of those things too… whether you realize it right now or not. Some of you may not see it right now but in a mater of months or years you will wake up one morning and find yourself exactly like those friends.

They influence you

You get advice from them

Your friends are shaping you!!

This matters because God is trying to warn you. He actually gives you insight to what will happen depending on who your friends are.

Here is effectively what God is about to say in this passage Show me your friends and I will show you your future. Your 5 closest friends will be who you become in the future. They have that much influence on who you are, what you will do, what you will think and the things you care about most.

God had designed friendship to have this kind of life altering impact on your life…

Last week you talked about.... [insert the points James sends you here]

Read: 20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,

but the COMPANION of fools suffers harm....

COMPANION: If you choose to put fools in your close friend group you will be harmed. If you choose that your closest friends are fools then God is showing you your future. It’s not going to turn out well. God is warning you that you will be put into situations that you do not want to be and you will regret in if you choose your closest friends to be fools...

Suffers harm

So God is warning you… saying… if you have close friendships or allow fools to influence your life you will become a fool and not only that but you will suffer for it.

Fools will hurt you and they will hurt others around you. (I’m sure that some of you have experienced this)

Meaning… Bad things are gonna happen when you hang out with fools all the time. You are going to get yourself into situations in which you do not want to be in

The fools will actually end up destroying themselves.

“The righteous man is cautious with his friendships, but the way of the wicked leads him astray”

The way of the wicked… the way of the fool leads you to places you do not want to go...

What does a fool look like?

In the OT the word FOOL is used 122 times and 66 of those times it is within the proverbs.

7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

but a wise man listens to advice.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

1 “The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds;”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

“Whoever hears my words and does not listen is like a fool who builds his house upon the sand”

The fool does not listen… does not even consider Jesus’s words because he does not value Jesus above everything else.

The fool does not see Jesus for what he has actually done. The fool does not see that Jesus lived a life that the fool could not live. That Jesus took the wrath the fool deserves. That Jesus took the place of the fool on the Cross. The fool looks at all of that and doesn’t believe it and doesn’t care about it.

The fool may even claim to believe all of that but does see what Jesus says about how they should live as true and strives to follow Christ in all that they do.

The Fool does not put Jesus at the core of intimacy in their life… Meaning Jesus should be the one person in your life with the most influence and the person that you care the most about what he says. The fool has no regard for Jesus. He does not consider Jesus. He does not think about Jesus he does not realize the weight in which Jesus is speaking.

How do you actually take steps towards seeing the fools in your life?

Listen to Jesus. Consider Jesus. Read what Jesus speaks over your life and do it. Cultivate intimacy with Jesus

Then look around you… do the 5 closest people to you listen to Jesus. When Jesus says “I am the way the truth and the life.. no one comes to the Father expect through me” do they believe and live by that. When Jesus says that “you should love the word God and love others.. and that these are the greatest commandments”… do they believe and live by that??

I’m not asking you to go out there and find perfect friends. that will never happen. You need to find people that unlike the fool will humble themselves and say “I am a sinner in need of grace every day”.

Like I said before you don’t just drop your friends. You don’t send them a text and say “Hey… so you are a fool… I can’t be friends with you..” but In your mind you move them from someone who you are close to and who has influence over your life into a place where you are still friends with them but you care for them and influence them.

Identifying Wise Friends/ Being a wise friend

Grow closer to the people in your life who desire to follow Jesus and help others

Be known

Bear one another’s burdens

Help each other follow Jesus

Make visible God’s love, grace, mercy, etc.

Be that friend to people. Be the one who strives to help people follow Jesus

Talk about doing this in middle/high school…

God has given us the Proverbs because he wants to not only protect you but put you on the right path.

1 The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, 3 to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; 4 to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth— 5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, 6 to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

1 The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, 3 to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; 4 to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth— 5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, 6 to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

2 To know wisdom and instruction,

to understand words of insight,

3 to receive instruction in wise dealing,

in righteousness, justice, and equity;

4 to give prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the youth—

5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning,

and the one who understands obtain guidance,

6 to understand a proverb and a saying,

the words of the wise and their riddles.

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Picking and Dropping Friends

Dropping

Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future

Picking