Growing a Love that Lasts

OPENING:

Last Sunday we consulted God through His Word on how we may be guided when we look for the love of our life, our partner for life

Or if we are already married, or in a relationship to an unbelieving spouse, what shall we do according to the Bible?

I Uber drove last Friday

Early evening that day, I picked up a couple

Let’s hide them as Mr. & Mrs. Darcy

As their backseat conversation progressed, it became obvious to me that they are arguing about their exes

At the end of the ride, Mr. Darcy said thank you and & he apologized that I needed to hear to their domestic issues

And as Mrs. Darcy stepped out of my car, she said “get married” but “don’t get divorced”

Divorce Rate in America:

Their love has been tested

Big D’s

41% first marriages

41% first marriages

65% second time marriages

65% second time marriages

Doubt

73% third time marriages

Depressions

73% third time marriages

Disagreements

Who among you here are married for at least 10 years? Please stand!

Despair

Those who are married for at least 25 years, remain standing

Those who are married for at least 40 years, remain standing

Disappointments

Their love for each other has been put to a lot of test

They went through, what Pastor Rick calls as the “Big D’s”

Doubt

Depressions

Depressions

Disagreements

Disagreements

Despair

Despair

Disappointments

Disappointments

Defeats

Defeats

Delays

Delays

Dead Ends

Dead Ends

Demands

Demands

Distance

Distance

Disease

Disease

BUT They avoided the biggest D, and that’s “Divorce”

Because they made some tough choices

Not easy, not convenient choices

Love is not a “feeling”, it is a “choice”

You choose to love or you choose not to love

Whenever we talk about love, our go to chapter in the Bible is

In verse 7 it says

1 Corinthians 13:7 The Living Bible

7 If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.

If we break this down, we can pull out 4 choices for a lasting love

LASTING LOVE EXTENDS GRACE

When are we going to extend grace?

When Their Faults Irritates Me

Ephesians 4:2 The Living Bible

2 Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

You are not humble if you are critical of people’s faults

You are being prideful, if you are very critical of other people

This is not just applicable to couples

When Their Words and Actions Hurt Me

Defeats

We say things we don’t mean

We are not intentional but sometimes we are careless

Delays

Dead Ends

Grace listens

Demands

The first duty of love is to listen

The problem is we talk too much, and listen to little

Distance

James 1:19 The Living Bible

19 Dear brothers, don’t ever forget that it is best to listen much, speak little, and not become angry;

Disease

They stock, categorize, inventory their hurts

When They Sin

Avoided the big D = Divorce

1 Peter 4:8 The Living Bible

8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults.

Because they made some tough choices

not easy

Marriage is great when the couple are great forgivers

I must choose to extend grace over and over

not convenient

Love is a choice | you choose to love or you choose to not love

LASTING LOVE EXPRESSES FAITH

Judges 16:15 NCV

15 Then Delilah said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you don’t even trust me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me. You haven’t told me the secret of your great strength.”

JUDEGS

Love and Trust go Together

Love is based on Trust, and Trust is based on Truth

The difference between Gullible, Cynical and Loving People:

Gullible people trust everyone and everything

Cynical people believe nothing and trust nobody

Loving people gives you the benefit of the doubt

What could your wife be if you trust them?

If you cannot trust your spouse, trust God

I must choose to express faith in people everyday

LASTING LOVE EXPECTS THE BEST

When Paul prayed for the christians in Philippi

Philippians 1:9–10 NIV

9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

If love abounds more and more, you will discern what is best

I must choose to expect the best from them everyday

LASTING LOVE ENDURES THE WORST

Israel turned to other gods, but still His Love endures what is worst

God told Hosea

Hosea 3:1 NLT

1 Then the Lord said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the Lord still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.”

It is persistent, It is Resolute

It is Resolute

It is more rewarding to restore a relationship, than to run from it

CLOSING:

If you want your lasting love for each other, you must be willing to make some choices

Tough choices! Inconvenient choices! Self-sacrificing choices!

You must choose to:

Extend Grace

Express Faith

Expect the Best

Endure the Worst

PRAYER: