#RelationshipGoals

// RECAP

Week 1 - It’s Not You, It’s Me

God is all around our thoughts, actions, being - how we respond to this will lay the foundation for all other relationships in our life

If we try and hide from God, we will hide from others

If we open ourselves and become vulnerable, we will be open with others

God wants to help come alongside us in our journey - but we have to invite Him to the innermost.

Week 2 - How Deep is the Love

Intimacy is the innermost part of your being

Intimacy is achieved through 3 things:

Positivity, Consistency, Vulnerability

Three types of friends:

Confidants - For YOU, not the CAUSE

Constituents - Not for YOU, for the CAUSE

Comrades - Not for YOU, the CAUSE, but for what you are AGAINST

MOTIVES IS WHAT MAKES THESE FRIENDS IN YOUR LIFE DIFFERENT

Week 3 - The Dating Game

Average marrying age in 2018 was 32 years old

“Instead of spending your time looking for the one, spend your time becoming the one.”

In any relationship dating/friendship we want to be a contributor not a consumer

While you are waiting, spend time discovering who you are

Oneness Triangle

TONIGHT’S MESSAGE //

“#RELATIONSHIPGOALS”

Tonight I am going to give you P.Wick’s TOP 5 #RelationshipGoals...

#1 - CLAIM YOUR BAGGAGE

“Everyone in here has baggage that makes you who you are”

Know who you are

Baggage ≠ Bad All the Time

You can carry good baggage — baggage is simply what makes us who we are.

Knowing and Understanding what makes you, you, is what will ultimately help you relate well to others

Personality Tests

Strengths Finder Tests

Spiritual Gifts Test

Love Languages Test

In our huddles we are going to talk more about the love languages test you took last week and how that might help and/or hurt you in relationships

Knowledge is Power - FALSE

What you do with the knowlege is power - TRUE

Working with other’s baggage

Because we all have baggage, every relationship you are in, there is going to be a point where their baggage intersects your baggage

- How do you respond?

Point out their flaws and beat them with their baggage

Serve them and help them through their trouble

Galatians 5:13–14 ESV

13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

#2 - DON’T PUT A DONKEY WITH AN OX

- “You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together.”

You are the Temple of the Holy Spirit

- “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”

2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV

14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

The idea of yoking two animals together was so that you could grow the power exponentially!

It’s the idea of 1 + 1 = 10

Looking ahead - when you marry someone that shares the same Christian beliefs, believes in you and what you want to do with your life…when you both become one, you will become a force that can accomplish great things!

“Missionary Dating does not work!”

No matter how perfect the guy or girl is - if they are not hot after God, things will not end.

This goes for the opposite - if you are not hot after God, but trying to date someone that is - you’ll be upset

If someone if pursuing God because of their love for you (or vice versa), the motive is off and no real relationship will happen with God.

#3 - STAY SUPPORTED

“Courtship will keep your friends”

too many times when a relationship fires up

that couple disappears

a few months later the relationship might end

when you look around, none of your friends are around

By engaging in a courtship instead of a dating relationship - you invite your new love to be apart of your life and they invite you to be apart of theirs.

Merinda and I had different friend circles, and yet we spent time around each other’s friends so much so that they became our own friends.

Courtship doesn’t have to be weird - but instead of always being alone with your date, you choose to spend time with friends.

#4 - PARTNER WITH PARENTS

Question your Parents

ask your parents what their dating relationship were like

Pros & Cons

cons

What would they change if they could?

ask your parents what guidelines they want for your relationship

by doing this you gain your parents trust from the beginning - this is super responsible

Invite them to Question You

If you know that you parents could question you on your relationship - it will make you think twice about what you do with your date

They will help you set boundaries and goals before you find out the hard way

#5 - KEEP JESUS CENTRAL

“No matter how many rules we make for ourselves, rules don't create godly relationships. Only leaning on our faithful Father and longing to please Him with everything we do will set the stage for a beautiful romance!” ― Eric Ludy

Again - before you work on your horizontal relationships, you have to have a solid vertical relationship.

It’s not about making Jesus first in your life…this is how that might get twisted:

Scenario 1 - bad

you spend 20 minutes in devotion that day

you spend 2.5 hours with your date

you put Jesus first technically, but was that really making Him a priority

Scenario 2 - good

Jesus is in the center of everything you do

conversations include Jesus

events you attend include Jesus

time with your date includes conversation about Jesus

The Greatest Command vs The First Command

Mark 12:30–31 ESV

30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

In 1, God tells man and woman to be fruitful and multiply - this was God’s first command to mankind.

I feel like our society heard the first commandment and ran

But if you stick around and wait to find out what Jesus said was the greatest commandment, you will see that...

Loving God with everything you have

THEN

Loving others as you love yourself

Just in case we weren’t clear - Jesus says, “THERE IS NO OTHER COMMANDMENT GREATER THAN THESE.”

// Closing

“Because I had no awareness of who I was or what I needed, I found myself settling for a mediocre relationship rather than holding out for what was best.”

— Debra Fileta

Before we can begin to relate with someone in an intimate way - we have to lay ourselves before God and discover who we really are, and who He made us to be.