Forgiveness, Healing & Restoration

Mustang Story -

How many of you have been to New York City? My wife and I went to visit last year. This picture is a picture of a happy me! I would even say a Joyful me!! I mean look at me right! I’m excited!!

My wife, New York City having an awesome time. Let’s fast forward. Now we are driving between Vegas and .. this is awesome! So what do I decide to do? Another one.

Now, this next picture may be disturbing to some. My life was awesome!! Now, at this point, I’m broken!! Now, I’m not over exaggerating too much. I just crashed a Mustang. This was going to take some serious healing you know. I kid you not, I felt down about this for like a full week. The day after I crashed the Mustang, I was on struggle street.. I needed healing and restoration..

Maybe some of you need healing & restoration. Not because you crashed a Mustang and your pride was shot and you felt like a failure and you were not happy about the bill and all that jazz. That’s not the reason… In fact, the healing and restoration that I’m talking about hasn’t got anything to do with your wounds..The Physical stuff. The surgery, the broken bone, the scars…. The healing and restoration that I’m talking about is something that’s inside you. It’s that drowning feeling you have, it’s stealing the goodness from your life, it stops you from trusting, it takes the joy out of your mornings, it’s the feeling that a person gets when they have been deeply wronged.

Maybe some of you have been deeply wronged and you need healing and restoration. I don’t know. Maybe there is no one in this room, but maybe it’s someone in one of the rooms. I have a feeling there is at least one person listening tonight that has been deeply wronged & needs to heal.

I want to help you tonight.. I want to help you tonight.. So I have a proposal for you.. An idea, a remedy..

And you know, I wish I could give you an easier remedy, an easier way to come to that place of healing than the one I am about to propose, but I just don’t know one that’s as good. I don’t know a better way to do it. The best way I know of that healing & restoration can come to you, is through this thing they call forgiveness.

Forgiveness.

The Bible says there is power in this thing..

In for example - it says -

“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,

but dwelling on it separates close friends”

The part I really want you to catch here is that Love Prospers when a fault is forgiven… Love!! I don’t know about you, but to me Love is a beautiful thing…

In another place in the Bible love is explained - it says -

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…”

Love never fails! And love prospers when a fault is forgiven… patience, kindness, selflesness, trust & hope, all these beautiful things that make up the concept of Love, all these things prosper when a fault is forgiven! Forgiveness unleashes love and love unleashes a world of goodness within..a world of healing..

Now, some of you might be thinking, well good on the Bible. Hey that’s fair… Bible aside for a minute.. Let’s look at some research… Here’s something for the Scientific mind to consider.

A guy by the name of Dr Dick Tibbits wrote a book called “Forgive to Live: How Forgiveness can save your life.” In this book he refers to one of the studies he done on a number of patients. Basically he took two groups, of post heart attack patients - one group went through an 8 week training course on how to practically forgive and the other group continued life as per usual. During the time, both groups were monitored and particular attention was paid to people’s blood pressure. At the end of the 8 weeks the groups swapped rolls.

The findings were fascinating. While not everyone had reduced blood pressure, there were significant reductions in anger levels, and a number of people did have their blood pressure drop. In fact, one man had his blood pressure drop from 154/102 to 120/80. … If that makes no sense to you, it went from really bad to normal..

The Bible is not the only thing that is telling us that there is power in forgiveness..Science is as well!

I believe there is power in forgiveness..And I believe there is huge damage in not being able to forgive..

You know what the biggest problem with not being able to forgive is? The biggest harm. The biggest problem with not being able to forgive is that you are punishing yourself more than the person that wronged you. As you hold onto feelings of resentment and negativity, it’s like you are taking little sips of poison that are eating away at your life…

I love what Dr Darren Morton, the Author of Live More says -

“Essentially, forgiveness is a circuit breaker of the vicious cycle that unforgiveness creates. It is consciously choosing to move ourselves from a negative place of revenge to a positive place of freedom.”

I love that. Read again.

Forgiveness.. Love, and the healing and restoration that love brings, the freedom that Love brings, will prosper in your life when a fault is forgiven.

So what to do with all this?

Well, I don’t have time tonight to take you through an 8 week forgiveness course. But I can do this. I can ask you to take a step towards forgiveness tonight. Here’s what that looks like. There are 3 main things I want you to do in order to take a step towards forgiveness.

1.You Identify who and what hurt you in your past

In order to be able to forgive someone, we need to know who, and what, it is that has hurt us. We need to pinpoint it. if we don’t know the who and what, it’s hard to move on. So You Identify who and what hurt you in your past. That’s 1.

2. You ask yourself if you want that person and the wrong they did you to rule over the rest of your life

Because that’s what will happen if you don’t forgive. Do you want someone else’s actions to destroy your life. The longer you hold on, the worse off your life is. You are the one that’s being poisoned day by day as you hold onto resentment.

If

1. You Identify who and what hurt you in your past

2. You ask yourself if you want that person and the wrong they did you to rule over the rest of your life - I’m guessing the answer to this question will be no.

3. You reach out and ask for some help.

Did you know that we have an awesome chaplaincy team here at the Sydney Adventist Hospital? We have chaplains and spiritual carers who will be able to help you through your journey of forgiveness. There is no point, going it alone.. Life is tuff, the process of forgiveness is not easy - there’s no point going it alone.

1. You Identify who and what hurt you in your past

2. You ask yourself if you want that person and the wrong they did you to rule over the rest of your life - I’m guessing the answer to this question will be no.

3. You reach out and ask for some help - let someone help you forgive.

Let me tell you a story in closing.

Pascale Kavanagh is a well known writer who lives in New Jersey USA. When she was a child her mother severely abused her and her autistic brother. She would hit the children, torment them, call them names, physically throw things at them. As Pascale grew older her mother continued to be abusive, even when she was in college the mother would call her once a week to scathe her. She disparaged her appearance, friends, academics, Pascale felt that her mother was driving her over an emotional ledge. Eventually Pascale escaped her mother was married and moved to the other side of the country. But when her daughter came, and Pascale introduced her mother to her new daughter, she began on the same track again, this time abusing the daughter. In her old age Pascale’s mother had a stroke and was hospital bound, brain damaged. By this time, she had no - one to care for her! Although Pascale had a deep resentment for her mother she went to be with her at the hospital. At first Pascale was angry at her mother, but as the weeks passed the fury began to dissipate. One day Pascale laid her head down in her mother’s lap, and the hatred was gone, she forgave her.

She came to this place where she realised that there is healing and restoration in forgiveness. That living with resentment, and hate inside is only something that will destroy your life. I hope you will reach out and ask for some help to forgive today..

God Bless you.