Honoring God in Marriage- Wives

Because of the rise of feminism this has become one of the most controversial passages in the book of Ephesians. This shouldn’t be, this passage is not demeaning to women, it is not oppressive. It is important that we look at this verse from a biblical perspective.

Let me define male-female equality: Man and woman are equal in the sense that they bear God’s image equally. Let me also define male headship: In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction. John Piper & Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood

God is laying out the order of the household in this passage. Wives this is your duty, husbands this is your duty, next is children and employees, this is your duty. We all have responsibilities as we live to honor God in our lives and specifically marriages.

Submission

Everyone is called to submit to someone.

Parents, Employers, Police, Government, God

The reason is out of reverence for Christ.

Submission doesn’t mean that you are inferior.

When we speak of submission, the first conclusion we jump to is that one person is called to submit because they are inferior.

This isn’t true

Submission in the Godhead

John 5:18 ESV

This was why the Jews were seeking all the more to kill him, because not only was he breaking the Sabbath, but he was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God.

Jesus is equal with God

Even though He is equal with God Jesus submits to God

Philippians 2:6–8 ESV

who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Submission does not mean you are inferior…Jesus wasn’t inferior.

Submission does not mean that you are weak…Jesus wasn’t weak.

Submission does mean that you recognize the authority that God has given someone.

Even Jesus had to do it.

Jesus is not inferior to God, but He does submit Himself to the authority, the headship of God.

Submissive to whom?

Focusing on this passage, women are to be submissive only to their husband.

This isn’t to every man out there.

Wives you only come under the headship of your husband.

As to the Lord

v.22

Paul deliberatly doesn’t say Christos, he says kyrios.

Christos or Christ is the title of Jesus, Kyrios or Lord is His position.

By saying Lord, Paul is stating that not only do we ask Him to be our savior but we want to follow His commands.

By Him being Lord means that we recognize that He is the one who makes the rules, and that we are to follow what He asks us to do.

This is a service, an act of worship that the wife gives to God himself.

If a wife wants to honour Christ, then one surefire way is to recognize the headship of her husband.

The Husband is the Head

Not because of our accomplishments, but mandated by God.

He hasn’t done something spectacular to deserve his wives respect.

It’s not that he is a better leader.

God has given the husband the awesome responsibility in the family.

awesome being a fearful mandate by God

This doesn’t mean that the wife doesn’t have an opinion and goes along silent.

If you have a concern, express it, talk about it. Husbands, being loving and a good leader means that we listen to the concerns of our wives in making the decision.

The decision in the end is in the hands of the husband.

God has given him headship and responsibility for the family.

Why?

Order in Creation

The position of headship is given from the order of creation.

1 Corinthians 11:8–9 ESV

For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

At the time of creation, man was created first, then woman from man.

Genesis 2:18 ESV

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

A helper, an assistant. Someone to assist him in doing the work....not someone he should command.

Our marriage is to be one where we work together, side by side. To get through the challenges of life.

My wife is better than me at many things, on those things I ask for her help or ask her to do the task.

BUT there can only be one head.

If there are two heads in the relationship, there will constantly be a struggle to see who can claim the 51% of the stock.

This can be very destructive....so God made it where one was in charge, to bring peace by eliminating the power struggle.

Husband love, wife respect

The theme of this passage is summed up at the end of the chapter in v.33

Husband love, wife respect

If a husband loves his wife he will be honoring God in the marriage.

If a wife respects her husband, she will be coming under his headship and honoring God in the marriage.

Ways to show respect

These are from familylife.com

Look for opportunities to show your husband honor and build him up

If you believe that respect has to be earned, you will develop a critical attitude. It should be given because God commands it.

Focus on what your husband does well

If you focus on the negative, your husband will be discouraged. If you focus on what he does well, it will encourage him to continue it.

Speak well of your husband

If everything you say about your husband is negative, your friends won’t like him and it will change your attitude towards him as well.

Tell your children the positive aspects of their dad’s character, both as a husband and a father.

This gives the kids a positive view on their dad and makes you focus on the good.

Accept that you married an imperfect man

By the grace of God we are continuing to grow for His glory, but we are imperfect and will still make mistakes.

Challenge:

Strive to bring glory and honor to God by demonstrating that He is Lord in our marriages.