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How do you speak up to someone you love about something that is bothering you?
Example - Stinky employees. Most of the time, they were unaware.
There is a distinction that we need to make between recognizing ungodly behavior and passing judgment. That distinction is the posture of our heart.
Question to ask yourself...
Are we aware of other’s people’s mistakes because they trust us and have confided in us, or do we feel like we’re the moral police?
Truth and Grace
Truth and Grace
Sin becomes public in 3 different ways
Someone confesses it
We see it
We’re told about it
The response should be different in each of these situations. This will differ based on the honesty of the person and their self-awareness.
1. Say something. First words are the hardest. Always be honest when you’re not sure what to say.
“Something you said earlier really bothered me. It was when we were talking about Billy. Could we talk about it please?
2. Questions!
Jesus often asked questions to people who were caught in sin. For a couple reasons:
Jesus invited them to think about something. Sin tends to look less attractive when it’s closely inspected
Jesus invited them into conversation. He’s asking questions to get a respond.
4 Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.
34 Jesus answered, “Can you make the friends of the bridegroom fast while he is with them?
Questions that we might ask...
“How can I help?”
“Were you aware that I was bothered by this?”
“Is there anything I can do differently?”
Sin is always about God, w
Swearing
Swearing
There are hundreds of words that could be classified as curse words, and developing a rule book for all of them would be impossible. The Bible didn’t try to do that, instead, it says this:
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians:
4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Which is more harmful to the person hearing it:
Dropping the F bomb when when someone stubs their toe
Telling a person that they’re useless
Of course the 2nd one. It’s incredibly easy to insult a person without using a curse word. It’s more important that we focus on the command of Scripture to build one another up and not tear each other down.
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Watching your language \
How to tell a friend to stop swearing:
Tell them you’re uncomfortable
Set boundaries
When you should confront someone about their sin?
When to keep quiet, and when to speak.
Paul:
Who are we to judge who are outside? It is those in the church that we are to judge.
How serious is the sin?
If it’s really serious and immediately urgent:
2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Am I spiritually equipped?
Galtians 6:2
Log and speck. I can’t go with a log hanging out of my eye.
Speak to them that is not condemning. They need to know they are loved and accepted.
Once you take out the log
How close is my relationship with them?
There might be someone else in their life that it would come better from. Let’s say you’re in a small group, and someone in the small group cusses or uses God’s name in vain, but you don’t feel comfortable or have a great relationship with them. I’d encourage you to talk to the small group leader and say something like “hey, just so you’re aware there’s some cussing that happens within the small group. You might want to watch for that”
Ultimately, have spiritual wiseom and discernment.
Responding to sin in non-Christian friends
Responding to sin in non-Christian friends
Jesus was a friend of tax collectors and sinners
19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”
He was invited into the homes of sinners. We don’t know, however, how often Jesus was invited back. The reason is that he explained his presence differently.
He didn’t describe himself as a simple friend.
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples.
Lots of people would say that it’s offensive. If we were to say “I’m hanging out with you because you need Jesus”.
Jesus didn’t just hang out; he meant business.
44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
We live with tensions of what love really requeires us to do. What does a true frind really do? A true friend is full of good deeds and returns good for evil, and a true friend abstains from sinful behavior and declares the excellencies of Christ.
3 For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4 They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you.
We are to leave the outcome and the fruit to God in Christ by the Spirit.
The longer you wait to explain who Christ is and the reasons for your hope in Christ, the more awkward it will seem when you do, and the more curious your fiends are going to be that it took you so long.
3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”