Honoring God in Marriage- Husbands

Being a husband is not a covenant that should be entered into lightly. For this is not a covenant instituted by man. It is instituted by God and to be kept by men. Marriage is not only instituted by God but it is a type of Christ and the church; an example that is plain for all of us to see, to describe a relationship that we cannot see. For just as Christ is the husband and the church is the bride, so our marriages, the way that we love our wives should show the world how Christ loves the church. He gave us as husbands the responsibility to lead our family. But we need to be leading as Christ lead, from a position of love where everything we do is for the other person because of love

How Christ loves us

Giving up

v.25- The word for love is not an emotion. It is an action. That action was the willingness of Christ to lay himself down for those that He cared about.

We think of the giving up as death. Christ died for the church.

What Christ gave up:

He gave up divinity

He gave up honor

Isaiah 53:3 ESV

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

He was esteemed by angel’s, only to be despised by men.

He gave up time- Instead of spending his time with friends always having fun. He gave His life as a testimony and spent His time teaching.

Eventually He gave up His life.

When He gave up what He wanted for us, it wasn’t for a church that loved Him. It was for people who were not yet the church and were in active rebellion against Him.

Made us Holy

v.26, 27- Why did Christ die? TO MAKE US HOLY!!

Jesus desires a bride that is perfect, that has no spot no wrinkle, no imperfection. This is all spiritual.

So he takes us, an imperfect dirty bride, and not with water, but with His word Jesus cleans us up.

He begins to remove the spots, the blemishes, the imperfections.

He takes the filthy, and makes us above reproach.

1 John 3:5 ESV

You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin.

Why? So He can present us. To show off the church on the day when he comes to get us.

How we are to love our wives

Like Christ loved the Church

v.25- Not a single Christian woman would object to submitting to her husband if her husband were Jesus. R.C. Sproul

Men, are we loving our wives this way, like Christ loved the church.

There is no place for selfishness in marriage.

We think of giving up, as laying down our lives

Will you lay down your hobbies for the sake of your wife.

Will you lay down your ambitions for the sake of your wife.

Will you make her, the most important thing in the world aside from Christ?

Will you give it all up, even if she isn’t doing what she is supposed to be doing.

Romans 5:8 ESV

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ loved us, even when we were sinners. Are you willing to love her no matter what.

Are you leading her towards godliness?

Do you do bible studies with her? Do you pray with her?

Exercising headship in the family means leading the way that Christ lead. Which was through Love in all things thinking of the ones He loved

So when you stand before God you can say “I did all that I could to lead my family in a way that honors You.”

Like our bodies

v.28-29- Do you cherish your wife? More than you do yourself?

When the option is, you have a couple extra bucks. You could either buy your wife some flowers, or buy something your wanting. Which is it?

You have an extra day, do you take that day and go fishing, or plan a special date with your wife?

We are One

v.31- A husband will leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.

Both husband and wife are to begin a new family. Separating themselves from their old family relations and becoming a new family. One Flesh

Every aspect of life

Bank accounts, last names, you are now joined. Two people as one, two lives coming into one

It is a difficult transition going from two different distinct lives into one, which is why sometimes we fight.

This is why when we fight, husbands you are commanded to love, wives, you are commanded to respect and allow your husband to lead.

You can discuss and give opinions in love, but in the end the husband will have to answer to God for the family, as such it is his job to lead.

This is to model Christ and the Church

Just as husbands and wives become one, so Christ wants us to become one with Him.

Every aspect, your bank accounts, your last name. We should begin to model Christ as we spend time with Him.

With Christ if we have fights…it’s you.

Job of Husbands

Lead

Lead with Love, but Lead

Genesis 3:1–2 ESV

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,

Eve the wife, was quick to defend God, quick to stand up for the integrity of God.

Genesis 3:6 ESV

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

Where was her husband? With her.

Adam did not step into his role as the leader that was given to him.

Hosea 6:7 ESV

But like Adam they transgressed the covenant; there they dealt faithlessly with me.

Who? Not Eve, Adam will be held accountable

As God leads and cherishes the church, we are supposed to lead and cherish our wives.

Joshua 24:15 ESV

And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Just as Joshua stated, he would lead his household to follow Yahweh, so you men must decide how you will lead your household.

No direction it choosing. If you don’t lead, they will more than likely gravitate towards the things of this world, and you will answer for how you lead.

Ways to love your wife

From Ricardo McCrimon on biblereasons.com,

Respect your wife

Honor her voice and her opinion.

Listen to her concerns

Sacrifice for your wife

Are you willing to give up playtime to spend time with your wife

Emotional Support

You need to be emotionally available to give her the love and support that she needs.

She doesn’t need you to fix it, just listen.

Lavish her with affection, love and compliments

Brag about your wife

Develop her gifts and talents

Look for her spiritual gifts and help her develop them.

When we are doing what God created us for, we feel fulfilled.

Washer her in the word

Do bible studies with her, pray with her. Lead her toward godliness. Dedicate your life to strengthening her walk with God.

Challenge:

Husbands lead your wives with love toward godliness.

Wives, encourage your husbands to lead, and let them lead.