Ephesians 5:1-33

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Chapter 5 - God’s high standards for the church
Week 9: Eph 5:1-16 (Summary: Our Walk: Love, Light & Wisdom)
a. Be imitators of God
b. Love gone wrong
c. Walking in Wisdom
*Week 10: Eph 5:17-33 (Summary: Submit to one another)
a. How to know the Will of God
b. What are you full of ? Wine or the Spirit?
c. God’s plan for marriage and family
(5:1-7) Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. 3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them.
(5:1) Be Imitators of God
— Only place in the bible where these words appear
William Barclay The highest standard in the World
Alexander Maclaren The sum of all duty
James Montgomery Boice asks the following question:
Q: How is it possible to imitate someone who is infinitely above us, the sovereign God of the universe ?
God’s Attributes
Some attributes we share
— Justice, tenderness, forgiveness, goodness, love, mercy, compassion, faithfulness
— Theologians call these communicable attributes
Others
— Some attributes we do not share: self-existent, self-sufficient, eternal, all powerful (omnipotent), everywhere at once
(omnipresent), all knowing (omniscient)
— Theologians call these noncommunicable attributes
2 Books A.W. Pink, The Attributes of God, Stephen Charnock, The existence and Attributes of God
(5:1) As dear Children
Paul adds, as dear children
— Children naturally take after their parents
Imitators of His Attributes
When Alexander the Great discovered a solider in his army who was a coward, and also named Alexander, he told the soldier to renounce your cowardice or renounce your name. Those who carry his name are to be imitators of God’s character
Earlier
Paul said earlier, God predestined us as children (Eph 1:5) predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will
(5:2) Walk in Love
Walk Our daily life is characterized by love
Eph 4:1 Our walk should be a worthy walk
Eph 4:17 Our walk should be different from the world
Eph 5:8 Our walk should be in the light
Eph 5:1 Our walk should be in love
Eph 5:18 Our walk should be in wisdom
Q: What does this verse mean? In what way?
(5:2) And given himself for us
Christ Gave Himself
He gave his life as an offering and sweet smelling aroma
— But also, he became man and gave up his privileges
— He gave himself (cf Phil 2:5-8 ) The Kenosis section
Philippians 2:5–8 NKJV
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.
(5:2) and offering and a sweet-smelling aroma
Aroma — well pleasing (cf Phil 4:18)
The sin offering (Lev 4:1-26) and the trespass offering (Lev 5:1-19)
5 Offerings
Leviticus has 5 offerings #1-3 were #1 burnt offering, #2 meal offering, #3 peace offering
— Burnt (Lev 1:1-17) total devotion to God
— Meal or grain (Lev 2:1-16) Perfection
— Peace (Lev 3:1-17) Peace between God and Man
— These were all a soothing aroma to God (cf Lev 1:9, 13,17; 2:2, 9, 12; 3:5,16)
4 & 5 #4 Sin and #5 Trespass offerings were repulsive to God because Christ bore sin
— When Christ was raised, sin was put to death, that act of love was a fragrant aroma.
The Perversion
(5:3) Fornication
Paul does not say love God and do as you please
— Pay attention to what God requires
Q: Isn’t following the rules out of fear or servile duty?
Profound Love Should be out of profound love towards God
Fornication Πορνεια porneia (pornography)
— Not talking about x-rated movies or films
— Fornication (NKJV)
— obscenity (NIV)
— filthiness (ASB)
— immorality (NASB)
— All refers to sexual intercourse outside of marriage
Not the #1 Sin
First in the list but not because it is the #1 sin or the most serious
— But because it is related to love
— Worldly love is the opposite of Godly love
— Worldly love is based on attraction to someone
— Someone meeting my needs, fulfilling me
— Based on how I feel
Jesus, (Matthew 5:46 ) “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?”
— This is counterfeit love and inevitable leads to “sexual immorality or any kind of impurity” (NIV).
self-control porneia (immorality) refers to sexual sin
— But the opposite of this word, the antonym is enkrateia (self-control)
— Paul spoke to Felix and his wife Drusilla about self-control (Acts 24:24-25)
Acts 24:24–25 NKJV
24 And after some days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish, he sent for Paul and heard him concerning the faith in Christ. 25 Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.”
Sexual Control
Felix understood Paul regarding lustful passion, his self-control
— Life contrary to God’s righteousness
Church Madness
Sexual immorality is everywhere in the church
— Some think you can twist a verse to cover the sin with grace, especially if you have the right attitude
— That’s antinomianism.
Immorality and impurity can’t be covered with sugar to taste good
— They are still wickedness
— Paul says there is no place for immorality in the church (cf. 1 Cor 5:1-5 , 1 Cor 6:13-20)
1 Corinthians 5:1–5 NKJV
1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! 2 And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. 3 For I indeed, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged (as though I were present) him who has so done this deed. 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
1 Corinthians 6:13–20 NKJV
13 Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
(5:3) Greed (covetousness)
— Inseparable from sexual immorality because greed is also self-will
— Greed is the opposite of Love
— Sexual immorality is a form of of greed in terms of sexual sin
(5:4) Filthiness and silly talk corse jesting
— Filthiness: Dirty, vulgar talk
— Silly Talk: stupid talk, low obscenity, gutter mouth
— Course jesting: turn some phrase into a sexual innuendo
— cf. comics, late night talk shows, SNL. Comes from a heart of filthiness
(5:4) giving thanks
— Instead, we should use our mouths to give thanks
The Punishment
(5:5) For this you know with certainty
— There should be no confusion!
— If your life is characterized by these sins, don’t be fooled
— It does not matter if you said the prayer, signed the card gave in the offering basket, visited the widows, walked down the isle, took the bath
— You will have no inheritance in heaven
— You’re not saved
Why? Because a child of God has God’s nature
— This person does not (cf. 1 John 3:9-10)
1 John 3:9–10 NKJV
9 Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God. 10 In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother.
A life Dominated
A life dominated by sin has no share in the inheritance
— Another list of sins that disqualify you (cf 1 Cor 6:9-10, Gal 5:17-21) homosexuality, thieves, adulterers, swindlers, revilers, etc.
(5:6) The Wrath of God
— Those who live like this, and listen to empty words - the coming wrath is so certain as if it has already arrived
— “Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience” (cf Col 3:6)
(5:7) Do not be partakers
— Do not get involved in any form of the spirit of antinomianism.
— Don’t walk with evil (Provers 1:8-19)
The Contrast - Living in Light
(5:8-14) For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light.”
(5:8) You are light
Not a change of circumstance
— Not saying once we were in darkness but now are in light
— Not saying our environment has changed
— Something more profound
— They are not only in the light but they are the light
— We have been spiritually resurrected
— Therefore, we can do these things of darkness
— “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (cf Matt 5:16)
(5:9) for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth
Tests These are tests of true faith
— You can’t do these things on your own
MacArthur
“A Christian can fall into sin, and when he does the fruitfulness of his life suffers. Righteous fruit cannot flourish from sin.But the complete absence of any fruit of goodness and righteousness and truth proves the complete absence of salvation.”
The Commission
(5:11a) And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness
Evil
Don’t be associated with evil, not even the appearance of it
— No fellowship with a brother who is openly sinning
— Not saying that we should not have contact with sinners - because then we would have to go out of the world
— They are the mission field (cf 1 Cor 5:9-22, 2 Thess 3:6,14)
(5:11) expose them
We should expose sin in the church
— To ignore evil is to encourage it
— Expose it directly or indirectly
— Church discipline (cf Matt 18:15-17)
Lack Discernment
Unfortunately many Christians are unable to discern spiritual or moral issues in their own house - therefore unable to confront it in the house of God
—Or, they don’t take sin seriously
— They enjoy it from afar vicariously
— They don’t partake in it themselves, but laugh and joke about it
The Commission > The Call
(5:14) Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light.”
Isaiah
Comes from Isa 60:1
— Pauls shows that the glory of the Lord is Jesus Christ
— A capsule summary of the gospel
— A call for repentance
The Commission > The Call > The Contrast
(5:15-17) See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.
What do we think when we hear the word fool?
Mr-T The A-Team (1983-1987) “I pity the fool!”
Different from being stupid, has to do with judgement, reasoning
Fool
Biblical definition “The fool has said in his heart there is no God. They are corrupt” (Ps 14:1 )
— A person who lives apart from God
— mocks sin (cf Prov 14:9)
Proverbs 14:9 NKJV
9 Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is favor.
The Wise
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Prov 1:7 )
Walk as Wise
Walk in wisdom
— Just like we were told to walk in humility, love, light (Eph 4:1)
— worthy of your calling, (Eph 5:2)
— walk in love, (Eph 5:8)
— Walk as children of light
Walk/Mirror
Walk / live like the people that you are
— Your walk should mirror who you are
(5:16) redeeming the time
— One of my favorite verses
— Lots of things we could waste our time doing - watching TV, Sports, binge watching
— But the word “time” doesn’t refer to clock-time
— Here, the word is season (kairos)
— Other time words
Hora - hour
chronos - clock time
Season καιρός (kairos). n. masc. time, season, appointed time
A fixed amount of time
— The beginning and end of your life
— The time God has given you to serve others, carry out His plan for your life
Judas
Most tragic example of forfeited opportunity
— Spent 3 years with the Lord, part of the inner circle, forfeited his soul for 30 pieces of silver (5 weeks money, each $20-600)
Don’t wait Don’t wait for the opportunity to fall into your lap
— Grab it
(5:17) So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is
Q: What does it mean to understand God’s will?
Will His Will is mentioned earlier (Eph 1:5, 9, 11, 5:17)
God’s Will Found in scripture
— This will is His specific leading of the believer:
— 1. That we are saved (1 Tim 2:3-4)
— 2. Spirit Filled (Eph 5:18)
— 3. Sanctified (1 Thess 4:3)
— 4. Submit to our leaders (1 Peter 2:13-15)
— 5. Submit to church elders ( Heb 13:17)
— 6. May include suffering (1 Peter 2:20, 3:17, 5:10)
— 7. Give thanks for everything (1 Thess 5:18)
MacArthur
When a person is saved, sanctified, submissive, suffering and thankful, he is already in God’s will
— “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps 37:4)
The Commission > The Call > The Contrast > The Command
(5:18) And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit
Command
The Lord has commanded us to be filled with the Spirit
—True Christians will not deny the filling of the Spirit
— Wouldn’t be comfortable living in a carnal box
Q: What does it mean to be filled with the Spirit?
We all posses it
Every Christian possess the Holy Spirit (the life of God in you)
— No such thing as a Christian without the Spirit of God (Rom 8:9) - Here carnal means unsaved
Romans 8:9 NKJV
9 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.
— A carnal Christian (1 Cor 3) There can be Christians who act carnally but carnal are usually unsaved
— Carnal and Fleshly is usually an unsaved person
If you belong
If you belong to Christ you have the Spirit of Christ
— You as a Christian possess the Spirt and you have all of it - He doesn’t come in units
— Even to the sinful Christians Paul says we all have been baptized into Christ (1 Cor 12:13)
1 Corinthians 12:13 NKJV
13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.
— Corinthians doing vile things. He Doesn’t say just get the Holy Spirit. In contrast, don’t you know you defile Holy Spirit in you? (1 Cor 6:19)
1 Corinthians 6:19 NKJV
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?
— Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph 4:30, 1 Thess 5:19)
— The Spirit of Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20)
Who gets the Spirit
Jesus said if anyone thirsts let him come to me (John 7:37)
John 7:37 NKJV
37 On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink.
— Who gets the rivers of water? He who believes!
— What are the rivers? This He spoke of the spirt (John 7:39) — The Holy Spirit
Mark of Spirituality ?
— Not drinking is not a mark of spirituality
— Wanting to be happy is God-given
— “A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones” (cf Prov 17:22)
— God wants us to be happy, joyful
— “Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord” (cf Phil 3:1, 4:4)
Philippians 3:1 NKJV
1 Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. For me to write the same things to you is not tedious, but for you it is safe.
Philippians 4:4 NKJV
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Condemn Drunkenness
OT and NT both condemn drunkenness
Noah
After the flood, Noah got drunk (Gen 9:21)
— Ham saw his father’s nakedness but did not cover him
Daughters of Lot
Made their father drunk and had sex with him(Gen 19:32-38)
— They committed incest and got pregnant
Belshazzar
Drunken feast and the Kingdom was taken from him (Dan 5)
Corinthians
Some drunk at the Lord’s table and died (cf 1 Cor 11:20-22, 1 Cor 11:27-30)
1 Corinthians 11:20–22 NKJV
20 Therefore when you come together in one place, it is not to eat the Lord’s Supper. 21 For in eating, each one takes his own supper ahead of others; and one is hungry and another is drunk. 22 What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you in this? I do not praise you.
1 Corinthians 11:27–30 NKJV
27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.
Proverbs warns against drinking
Do not mix with either heavy drinker or gluttons (cf. Prov 23:19-21)
Proverbs 23:19–21 NKJV
19 Hear, my son, and be wise; And guide your heart in the way. 20 Do not mix with winebibbers, Or with gluttonous eaters of meat; 21 For the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, And drowsiness will clothe a man with rags.
— "Wine is a mocker, Strong drink is a brawler, And whoever is led astray by it is not wise” (cf Prov 20:1)
— it makes you think you are better off than you really are
— Clouds your judgment
Drink all day Alcoholics drink all day (cf Isa 5:11)
Isaiah 5:11 NKJV
11 Woe to those who rise early in the morning, That they may follow intoxicating drink; Who continue until night, till wine inflames them!
Opposite of the fruit of the spirit
Drunkenness is the opposite of the fruit of the spirit
— Drunkenness is always associated with unrestrained behaviour, sinful deeds in the flesh. (cf Gal 5:19-21)
Galatians 5:19–21 NKJV
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
A Sin A sin like every other sin that must be confessed
— We all fall into sin
— But someone whose life is characterized by drunkenness, will not inherit the kingdom of God
— That is a sobering thought (cf Gal 5:21, 1 Cor 6:9-10)
Do not associate
— Paul said do not associate with an immoral person (cf 1 Cor 5:11)
1 Corinthians 5:11 NKJV
11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person.
Religious not Moral
Paul’s focus here is religious
— Drunkenness associated with temple worship, temple of Artemis (Diana)
— Paul not speaking only of the moral and social evils of drunkenness but also the spiritually perverted use of drunkenness as a means of worship
Wine Commended
OT Sacrifice
Wine accompanied many OT sacrifices (cf Ex 29:40, Num 15:5, 28:7)
— The Psalmist wrote “Wine which makes the heart glad.” (Ps 104:15)
“Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart.” (Proverbs 31:6 )
Paul’s advice Paul advised Timothy to take a little wine for his stomach (cf 1 Tim 5:23)
1 Timothy 5:23 NKJV
23 No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent infirmities.
Guidelines
Q: Is today’s wine the same as in biblical times?
Strong Drink σικερα (sikera) strong drink (cf. Luke 1:15)
New Wine γλευκους (gleukos)
— Of new wine (Acts 2:13)
— Sweet
— Apostles accused of drinking this at Pentecost
— Mixed with Water
Wine οἶνος (oines) Wine
— Most common used word for wine in the NT (cf Matt 9:17)
— Boiled grapes
— Reduced the grapes to syrup, jam. Low alcohol content
Mixed Unmixed and fermented was 11%
— Church would always mix the wine at least 3:1.
— That would leave it’s alcohol content at 2.25 - 2.75%
— Today, 3.2% is considered alcoholic beverage
Answer No, biblical wine is not the same thing that we drink today
Questions we can ask ourselves
Q: Is it necessary?
Water not safe
Ancient water supply was not safe
— Alcohol content was antiseptic, purified the water
— Wine at Cana was called οἶνος (oines) adding water to boiled down grapes
— Unlikely Christ would have created wine at Cana or the last supper that would make the disciples drunk
Q: Is that the best choice?
A matter of choice
Leaders had to live to higher standards
— High Priests were not allowed to drink (cf Lev 10:9)
— Same standard applied to all of the rulers, kings, not to drink (cf Prov 31:4-5)
— Nazarite vow - no strong drink (cf Num 6:2-4)
— Leaders of the church must not be addicted to wine
Q: Is it habit forming?
Don’t be mastered
All things are lawful but don’t be mastered by any of them (1 Cor 6:12)
— Avoid the potential of something habit forming: drugs, alcohol
Q:Is it potentially destructive?
Yes
Traffic deaths, cirrhosis of the liver, dissipation - i.e. self destruction
— Should you take part of something that has such potential for destruction and sin?
Q: Will it offend other Christians?
Yes
Speaking of idols and food offered to idols, we know that it will offend some people (cf. 1 Cor 8:4, 7-9, 11)
— Our freedom in Christ stops where it begins to harm others
Q: Will it harm my Christian testimony?
Yes
It might make you more acceptable in some circles, but harm your Christian brother
— Better to offend the host then your Christian brother
— Then, others will see how great is your love for your brother (cf 1 Cor 10:27-29)
Q: Therefore, is drinking wine right?
No Probably not
— Wine is not the same as in biblical times
— Not necessary and not the best choice
— It is habit forming and is potentially destructive and it will offend some Christians, especially someone who came out of an alcoholic background
But, I have Christian liberty
Conscience If your conscience is not clear, it is sin (cf. Rom 14:23)
Romans 14:23 NKJV
23 But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.
(5:18b) but be filled with the Spirit
Helper / Indweller
Another Helper, Spirit of Truth, Indwells us (cf. John 14:16-17)
— Permanently indwells us in the church age
OT
— Indwellt Moses for a special purpose (cf Ex 31:3)
Pledge
Holy Spirit of promise (cf. Eph 1:13)
— Devine pledge and security that Jesus promises will be fulfilled (cf 2 Cor 5:5)
Promise
Assures us that Jesus and The Father are one (cf John 14:10)
— we are His children (cf. Rom 8:26)
— and will bear fruit (Gal 5:22-23)
Not Baptized
Filled - Not the same thing as baptized by the spirit
— Some confuse this - charismatics - second baptism of the Spirit is accompanied by speaking in tongues
Filled is to be under the control of the spirit, under His influence
— As opposed to being filled with wine
Not Possessing
Being filled is not the same as possessing the Holy Spirit
— At the moment you are saved you possess the Holy Spirit ( cf Rom 8:9, John 7:38-39)
Not in doses
We get the fullness of the spirit when we believe.
God does not parcel out the Holy Spirit (cf. John 3:34)
John 3:34 NKJV
34 For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God does not give the Spirit by measure.
Sin Grieves
When we sin, we grieve the Holy Spirit (cf Eph 4:30)
— We don’t sin because of the absence of the Holy Spirit
— We sin having the spirit in us and that makes the sin even worse (cf 1 Cor 6:18-19)
— You are His temple
Filled πληρόω (pleroo) be filled, be kept filled
— Imperative
— A mandate, command
— Be kept filled, under the control of the Holy Spirit
— Submit to His control
Steven J Lawson
“The theology of that little chorus is wrong (commenting on a song with the chorus ‘fill me up, fill me up, fill me up’). We are not filled up with the Holy Spirit as if we get more of the Holy Spirit. The whole issue is that the Holy Spirit gets more of us. So it is totally reversed. In Ephesians 5:18 we are to be filled by the Holy Spirit, not filled up with more of the Holy Spirit. [This song] is a total mis-understanding of of how the Holy Spirit works in sanctification as if what you need to do in order to be filled by the spirit is keep repeating these words over and over.
No, in reality you need to die to self, resist temptation, mortify the flesh, have the word of Christ richly dwell in you, buffet your body, confessing sin, repenting, turning away from the world, loving Christ, those kinds of things are precursors to and accompany being filled with the spirit” (Strange Fire Conference , 2013)
The Means of being Filled
MacArthur
God commands nothing for which he does not provide the means to obey… we only need to discover the resources. He has provided to carry out that obedience. “
Filled involves
confession of sin, surrender to His will, intellect, body, time, talent, possessions, desires.
— Death of self
— Slaying of self-will
The Word
Paul says in Colossians 3:16-15 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly followed by commands that exactly parallel Eph 5:19-33
— So, the word dwelling in you is part of being filled, controlled by the Holy Spirit.
The Commission > The Call > The Contrast > The Command > The Consequences
(5:18b - 21) And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Evidence
Evidence of a spirit-filled life: singing, giving thanks, submission
Q: Why Singing?
Why not…
Why not some ecstatic spiritual experience? Why not faith that moves mountains?
Instead
Instead, inside joy that expresses itself in music (cf. Ps 33:1, Ps 96:1-2)
Nehemiah
37,000 Levite Priests ministered at the temple. Also musicians and choirs (cf Neh 12:31, 38)
Jesus
Before he went to the garden of Gethsemane, where He was arrested, He sung a hymn (cf Matt 26:30)
Matthew 26:30 NKJV
30 And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.
Q: To whom do we sing?
To One Another
The primary audience is fellow believers and to God
— No music in the bible is characterized as being evangelistic
— God can use it for that purpose
— But that is not the intent
Q: How do we sing?
(5:19) speaking in psalms, hymns, spiritual songs, making melody
Psalms
Refers to OT psalter put to music
Hymns
Songs of praise
Making melody
Refers to plucking on an instrument
The Lord will Sing
One day the Lord will sing to us (cf Heb 2:12)
MacArthur
“But even now, when our hearts are filled with the Holy Spirit, Jesus sings songs of praise to the Father through us. Therefore, when we quench the spirit, we quench the song of Christ to the Father in our life.”
Q: Where do believers sing? What is the source?
(5:19) From the heart
If you don’t have a song in your heart, you can’t sing from the heart
— Need to be under the spirit’s control to have a true song in your heart
Spiritless Singing
— Pride, fame, singing for money, acclaim
Not right with God
— A person who is angry, bitter toward God, angry toward a loved one
— Hypocrisy does not praise or please God
Festivals into Morning
— This type of person turns festivals into mourning (cf Amos 8:10)
— Stop Singing! (cf Amos 5:23-24)
In other words Stop your singing until your heart is right!
Q: To whom do we sing?
To the Lord
To the Lord
— Not to draw attention to ourselves, or to entertain others
— He is the audience
— An audience of one
(5:20) giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ
Q: When are we to be thankful?
Always!
In all times
— Recognize God’s control in our lives in all things
— When God brings trouble into our lives, we question his wisdom, his love, his sovereignty
Submission
(5:21) submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Large Section
Goes from here to 6:9
Marriage
Covers wives and husbands in marriage
Children
Children obeying their parents
Work
Employees and their employers
Submit ὑποτάσσω (hupotasso) submitting yourselves
— Military term, tank, arrange under
— Idea is for Christians to rank under other Christians
Throughout Scripture
Jesus emphasized this same thought
— Each disciple should be willing to be the very least (cf Matt 18:1-4, 20:28)
— Wash each other’s feet (cf John 13:1-17)
— Romans says (Rom 12:10) in honor preferring one another
— And Paul tells the Philippians to count each other better than ourselves (cf Phil 2:3, 1 Cor 16:16, 1 Peter 2:13-15, Rom 13:1-7)
Philippians 2:3 NKJV
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
Prerequisite
Subject to one another can only find its power and effectiveness in the fear of Christ
— The family, in order to do what God wants, must first be conformed to the image of his son (Rom 8:29) and be controlled by the Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18b)
Carnal Christians
Many Christians know the Lord but are not consistently walking with Him
Macarthur
“They possess the Holy Spirit, but the Holy Spirit does not possess them.”
— Consequently, they fight / argue worse than unbelievers.
— “A carnal believer will have discord in his family just as he has discord in his own heart and in his relation to God.”
(5:22- 24) Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Q: What is the basic building block of society and what happens when it is weakened?
The Family
Family is the basic building block
— Where norms are taught, role models, information passed from one generation to another, customs observed. Dysfunctional Family = dysfunctional society
Women in NT
NT women considered little more than servants. Many Jewish men prayed each morning, “God, I thank you that I am not a Gentile, a slave or a women.”
Greek Society
Worse in Greek Society
— Men had no reason to divorce their wives
— She was there to carry on the family name
— The Greek statesman of ancient Greece, Demosthenes, wrote: “ We have courtesans for the sake of pleasure, we have concubines for the sake of daily cohabitation and we have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately and being faithful guardians of our household affairs.”
— Husbands found satisfaction from prostitutes and concubines.
Divorce
Marriage was basically legalized prostitution
— Divorce was not the exception, it was common
— Jerome, the ancient writer tells of Roman women who married her 23rd husband
— Also, rampant women’s liberation movement
— Women wanted to do everything men did, wrestle, fence, hunt (bare-chested)
Pauls’ Admonishment
Live at a standard in total contrast to those around you in Ephesus
— The relationship between man and women was to be modelled on Christ and His church
Helpmate
God created Eve to be Adam’s helpmate
— Hebrew word helper - opposite
— God is the only one said to be a “helper” to Israel He is fully capable and needs no help
Q: Was Paul saying that wives were inferior?
No God ordained distinction. 3 verses on Wives, 9 about husbands
( 5:22 ) Submit
Submit ὑποτάσσω (hupotasso) submit - means to relinquish our rights
— The willing, voluntary submission
— The wife is not commanded to obey her husband
— Submission is not for the husband to command but the wife to willingly offer
— Children are commanded to obey their parents, slaved their masters (Eph 6:1,5)
Equal
The husband is not to treat his wife as a servant, or a child but as an equal
( 5:22 ) Your own husband
— Not to submit to any man, or boss at work, but your own husband
Ordained by God
Starts in the garden
— Eve disobeyed God, failed to consult with Adam
— God told her (Gen 3:16) Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
Genesis 3:16 NKJV
16 To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
Desire תְּשׁוּקָה (t’shuqa) Same word used in Gen 4:7
— The Lord warned Cain - sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you [ control you], but you must master it
— Desire - to compel, urge, seek control over
Root cause
— Eve acted independently of Adam
— Adam disobeyed God by allowed Eve to be the head
Eve’s Curse
— Eve’s curse was that she wanted to control her husband, she wanted the place of her husband’s leadership
Man’s Curse
He would resist Eve and he would rule over her, but not as in Gen 1:28 (dominion) but as a despot, authoritarian rule
( 5:23 ) For the husband is head of the wife
Head
The women who responds to her husband’s leadership is an honor to the Lord
Q: What if your husband is not a Christian?
You may win him to Christ
Instead of nagging , criticizing to their husbands, the wife should set the godly example.
— The best way for a women to lead her husband to the Lord is by her walk - humility, love, morale purity, kindness, and respect. Very powerful (cf 1 Peter 3:1 )
1 Peter 3:1 NKJV
1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
Q: What if my husband is not a good person, not worthy of respect ?
There is not “if” in the bible
( 5:24 )Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
The Model Christ was the model of submissiveness
— He is the role model for Christian men - provide for, love protect the family.
4 Reasons for Marriage
1. Propagate Children (Gen 1:28)
2. Eliminate solitude (Gen 2:18)
3. Prevent immorality (1 Cor 7:2)
4. Provide enjoyment (Gen 26:8, Heb 13:4)
(5:25- 33) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Q: Why do you think Satan went after Eve instead of Adam?
Eve
Eve was a follower by nature
Marriage corrupted
Perfect relationship in the garden
— Man sinned - allowed Eve to usurp the relationship, failed to use his god-given authority Eve sinned - didn’t tell Adam about the serpent’s temptation, acting independent of her husband
The Penalty
God cursed Eve with pain at childbirth and perverted her desire to rule over her husband
— She usurped the leadership of the man and he became the follower
Cursed Adam, toil in labor, and conflict with his wife and submission
— Marriage was corrupted because both man and women twisted God’s plan for their relationship
Q: How is marriage usually portrayed in books and movies?
Bitter
Bitter, disconnected, disorientated
— Ending in divorce
— There’s a reason for that
Satan’s Plan
Destroy the family and weaken society
— He’s been at it a long time
A few passages
First murder was Cain killing Abel (Gen 4:8)
Polygamist Then, polygamy (cf Gen 4:23)
Genesis 4:23 NKJV
23 Then Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; Wives of Lamech, listen to my speech! For I have killed a man for wounding me, Even a young man for hurting me.
Sexual Perversion
Noah’s son Ham saw his father naked in the tent
— Apparently, this involved some sort of sexual perversion (cf Gen 9:20-23 )
Adultery
Sarah persuaded Abraham to commit adultery and have sex with her servant Hagar, her maid (cf Gen 16:4)
Sodom and Gomorrah
God destroyed the cities because of sexual perversions and wickedness (Gen 19:24-25)
Rape
Shechem, son of Hamor, saw Dinah, the daughter of Leah. He wanted her so badly that he forcefully took her and raped her (Gen 34)
— Jacob’s sons got revenge and killed Shechem and every male in the city (Gen 34:25)
Incest
Daughter-in-law of Judah
— She was widowed
— Dressed as a prostitute and had incest with Judah in order to have a son (Gen 38:13-18)
Q: Why is this in the bible ?
Not because God approves
Not because God approves of polygamy, incest, rape, homosexuality, adultery - even among God’s servants, Noah, Abraham, Judah.
— But to show mankind warts and all
— The good and the bad
— Consequences of our bad choices
( 5:25 ) Husbands, love your wives
Submissive
The husband has to be submissive to his wife through love
— Our love is to be sacrificial, purifying, caring and unbreakable
— Not the CEO of the family
— Servant-leader
— Don’t say honey and then act like vinegar towards your wife (cf Col 3:19)
Colossians 3:19 NKJV
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
Sacrificial love
( 5:25b ) and gave Himself for her
— Christ sacrificed Himself not for the lovely, but the un-lovely
World’s Love
Object orientated
— Based on outward appearance
— Fickle love
— Appearances fade and so does that love
God’s Love
God love’s because it is His nature to love
— God has given us the same capacity and therefore
— He can command us to love sacrificially, the same way He loves (cf 1 Thess 4:9)
1 Thessalonians 4:9 NKJV
9 But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;
A matter of choice
This love demands that we use our will and love another person
— We have a choice to love (cf 1 John 3:16-18, 1 John 3:23, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 4:11)
Commanded to love
A man loves his wife not because of what she does or does not do
— Commanded to love because it is God’s will
MacArthur
“if a loving husband is willing to sacrifice his life for his wife, he is certainly willing to make lesser sacrifices for her. he puts his own likes, desires, opinions, preferences, and welfare aside if that is required to please her and meet her needs. He dies to self in order to live for his wife, because that is what Christ’s kind of live demands. That is submission.”
Q: What kind of love is this?
— purifying
Purifying Love ( Eph 5:26-27 )
( 5:26-27 ) that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
Christ’s Love
He does not condemn us of our sin but cleanse of our sin (cf Mic 7:19, Jer 31:34)
— “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow” (cf Isa 1:18)
Husband to make Holy
The husband’s responsibility is to sanctify, make his wife holy
— He is responsible for her spiritual growth, her maturity and their children
Men sabotage
Men sabotage this kind of love when: they flirt with other women, or have emotional affairs, they dishonor their wives and their marriage
— This kind of love defiles not purifies
— This man jeopardizes his own moral purity, but also tempts his wife to do the same thing
We are made holy
Christ has cleansed us, made us holy by the cleansing agency of His word so that he can present us as a dazzling beautify bride ( Eph 5:27 )
— Husbands should see their wives as on the way to becoming dazzling beautiful creatures which they will be one day in heaven
Caring Love ( 5:28-30 )
( 5:28-30 ) So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
Sense of well being
When our bodies are healthy, we have a sense of well being
— When we meet the needs of our wife, we also have a sense of well being
Give her what she needs
Encouragement, strength, just as God supplies all our needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus
— “ And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (cf Phil 4:19)
— The loving husband tries to supply all that the wife needs
Unbreakable love ( 5:31 )
( 5:31 ) For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
Paul quotes Gen 2:24
A direct quotation from Gen 2:24
— The permanence and unity of marriage as originally designed by God
Failure to leave
Failure to Launch (2006), Matthew McConaughey & Sara Jessica Parker
— One way to sabotage your marriage is when you still cling to your parents.
— Maybe they move in with you
Q: Has anyone experienced that?
( 5:31 ) One Flesh
— We should not be quick to divorce each other
— “God hates divorce” (cf Mal 2:16)
Unbreakable
When we get divorced we break that which God said was unbreakable
Cleave προσκολλάω (proskollao) Cleave, glued, cemented together
— We are to be cemented together with our wives/spouses
Provisions
Provisions for divorce - unrepentant and continued adultery (cf Matt 5:31-32, 19:4-10)
— Departure of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:15)
Moses
Moses permitted divorce but never commanded it
— Jewish leaders claimed that Moses commanded it
— “ They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” 8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (cf Matt 19:7-9)
God’s Will
God’s will that not even adultery should break the marriage bond
— Hosea - told to marry Gomer the prostitute
— God’s word was to love her and take her back
— God restored their marriage
— He made a promise to Isreal
“I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely, For My anger has turned away from him.” (cf Hosea 14:4)
How we should love
That is the way that Christ loves His church
— That is the way husbands are to love their wives
— The Lord never puts us away
— “ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (cf 1 John 1:9)
3 Practical ways to love your wife
1 Considerate
Be considerate
— Treat her with sensitivity, considerations
— Sensitive to her feelings and needs
— Your busy life is no excuse (cf 1 Peter 3:7)
2. Be Chivalrous
As a weaker vessel
— It is our attitude towards our wife (and all women)
3. Communion
The Grace of Life - (1 Peter 3:7) - the best that you can enjoy in this life
— Commune together, talk together, walk together
— Share you spiritual life together
— If you’re not best friends, not honoring your wife, your prayers will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7)
The Motive
(5:32-33) This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Mystery
That men and women would be in the church
— Hidden in the OT
— The mystery is that men and women in marriage is a reflection of the church and of Christ. (cf Eph 1:9, 3:3, 3:6)
— The OT is the NT concealed; The NT is the OT revealed
— Other Mysteries concealed in the OT
— The mystery of God ( cf. 1 Cor 2:7; Col 2:2 )
— Mysteries of the kingdom ( Matt 13:11 )
— Mystery of Israel’s blindness ( Ro 11:25 )
— Mystery of the rapture ( 1 Cor 15:51 )
— Mystery of lawlessness ( 2 Thess 2:7 )
— Mystery of Christ ( Eph 3:3-6 ) and Gentiles heirs with the Jews
— Mystery of Christ in the believer ( Col 1:26-27 )
— Mystery of the incarnation ( 1 Tim 3:16 )
— When God blows the 7th trumpet the mystery of God will be finished ( Rev 10:7 )
Additional Resources
Strange Fire Conference: filled with the spirt, Minute 49:12, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhG2CBVQy3w
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