No Guilt, No Shame

BIG IDEA:

What do we have to know?

Shame is a condition of the fall.

Why do we need to know it?

A life of shame imprisons us from living the fullest.

What do we have to do?

Ask for forgiveness and wait upon the LORD

Why do we have to do it?

Shame was paid for fully on the cross, and we bring more harm when we take things into our own hands.

We are going to continue our Transforming the Heart series on . If you have a bible, turn with me to , and if you don’t have a bible' it is on page 458 in the pew bible in front of you. What I like for us to do today is to read the bible together.on a cold morning like this, it’s good to get the brain and juices flowing, so I am going to read the odd verses, 1, 3, 5 7, and you can read the even verses , 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 etc

ME

So the big thing which happened this week that even as Christians we would be ignorant not to pay attention is the legalization of marijuana or cannabis. I heard the Ontario government online store run by Shopify ran out of ‘products’ within a few days. This reminded me of a time when I was just a new born again Christian, there was a time our small group finished fellowship and went out for dinner. And when I walked into the restaurant I saw someone smoking a cigarette. In my youthful zeal and condemning heart, I spoke under my breathe “the Bible says you shouldn’t smoke” though I wasn’t directing this comment at the person. My small group leader heard me said that and say: “The bible actually never said that.” I was disappointed, and slightly embarrassed. But I remembered that incident until now. One of the reason is I felt I need to upkeep God’s honour by making sure God hates everything I hate. I hate people smoking, so it must mean God hates smokers or at least prohibits smoking in the bible (you will not find that).

WE

Have you ever thought about why people outside the church thinks following Jesus, though they will never say that, being a Christian or going to church means you can’t do this or that. You can’t swear. You can’t gamble. You certainly can’t play mahjong. You better not drink alcohol, even if you are of legal age. After all, everyone of us enters church with a certain set of expectations what they can expect from MCBC. Everyone is warm and friendly. Everyone is polite. They are flawless. Loving husband, beautiful wife, obedient children. Picturesque families. Budding careers. You may immediately argue, oh if you only knew what’s going on in my family. Or what just happened this morning when we drove from the house. But we don’t. We don’t usually share about these things. So everyone is led to believe being in church means everything is wonderful. And even if we have an inkling that it’s not the case, we all seem to play this game of don’t ask, don’t tell. Especially the bad stuff. Nothing to see here. No need to air our dirty laundry. But if we are honest with ourselves, that life isn’t working too well for us, is it? We have a nagging sense Christian life can be more. More… honest. More accepting. More forthcoming.

GOD

When it comes to forthcoming and honest, and not afraid to tell it like it is, there’s no better candidate in the Bible than David. David wrote some beautiful poetry and songs which are just unbelievable. When you read it, you say: “you can talk to God like that?” Oh yeah, did I mention when we have the wrong idea of church, and Christians, you inevitably have the wrong idea of God.

is quite possibly one of the most fascinating Psalms within the Psalter. There are two structural things which may not be noticeable which makes it unique. First, it is an Acrostic psalm, A to Z in the Hebrew alphabet. This means the first letter of the first word in each line is alphabetical. We begin with aleph, or A in verse 1. Then bet or B In verse 2. Although some letters are skipped (there are a total of 26 letters in the Hebrew alphabet, and only 22 lines, of which 21 lines follow the acrostic pattern). With most online available tools on bible study, or even a simple footnote at the bottom of your Bible, it’s not hard to find this out. Stylistically, it is a feat of artistry. However, the pattern that even without some training in Hebrew which for the keen person may notice are the switching of personal pronouns, and repetition of ideas or words. For example, this Psalm is intensely personal with first and second personal pronoun scattered throughout. Until we get to verses 8 to 10, 12 to 14, 22, suddenly he switches to third person, and briefly breaks the pattern at verse 11, roughly the middle of the Psalm. You notice, the repeated ideas of shame (v. 2 to 3 cf. 20), wait (v. 3, 5, and 21), enemies (v. 3 cf. 19), remembrance for mercy (6, 7 cf. 16), to name a few, though again not completely perfect, creates a chiastic structure. (Show diagram) It’s in the shape of an arrow so that roughly the last verse correspond thematically with the first verse, and the second verse correspond with the second last verse, and so on and so forth. And when analyzing a psalm with a chiastic structure, the key idea is the one in the middle, which would be verse 10-11.

“All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,

For those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.

For your name’s sake, O Lord,

Pardon my guilt, for it is great.”

NO GUILT

The last line is how half the title of this message was derived from. This is one theme which runs throughout this Psalm. It is as if David asked God to diagnose his heart and the result for his plea is he is guilty. David begins with to you O Lord, I lift up my soul in verse 1. David is saying; What is about to happen is between you and me, and you are about to see me or I am about to present you as I really am, all the ways I have thoughts, actions, and words which covers me.

Illustration: My best friend and fellow pastor Jim called me the other day to see how I was doing. After exchanging some pleasantries, I asked whether he was preaching. And he asked me whether I was preaching, and I said yes, this Sunday. On . And even on the phone I can hear his excitement. Turns out Jim has been meditating on this message for several months. In fact, he proved it by reciting the first four or five verse. The message is so ingrained into him he shared with me of having a dream about this message. In the Dream, he saw himself being lifted up to God, and because the poem is so beautiful, he thought he would see himself as a man clothed in white, as he is lifted up to God. But he said in the dream he is dirty, filthy, sinful, dripping with death and decay. But then he told me that is precisely who we truly are, and only that life, stripped of all the falsity, bearing the guilt and weight of our sin is the body I give myself as I am, damages, imperfect, and you offer all of you, a very fragile person, and ask God in the process don’t put me to shame! There are people on the ground just waiting to see me for how I truly am and they can’t wait to devour me with their words and violence. Then Jim paused and asked me: Do we trust God enough with who we are or have to come polish and unblemished?

I am loathsome, despicable, and have given shame to God’s name. And yet, I dare, with fear and trepidation, ask for you to not return my shame with shame. I lay bare to you my heart, my errors, my own ways which are so laughable that if my worse enemies were to find out, I would be the laughingstock of the community. David only trusts God, because only God has a moral and upright character, and allows us to approach him in our filthy state. Yet, he probably wonders, how can a holy God stand the sight of me? David tells God to remember His mercy in verse 6, that God is a merciful God. God pardons the unpardonable, and forgives the unforgivable. To remember is not to say God forgets or is absent-minded, and need to be reminded. God has perfect recollection of our past, present and future. To God, every moment is present. To remember in Hebrew means then to plea to God to focus and be attentive to our very life, to intervene on our behalf because we have tried everything, and at the same time to look away (God’s way of forgetting) from our shortcoming. That’s why he tells God NOT to remember his long list of sin, because of his steadfast love! While some of us here are just entering the age of our teenage years, some of us would cowl in shame and fear if God were to look at our sin from when we were young! There’s so much wrong, so much guilt, so much hurt I have caused to others. How can God look away from it? Well, David tells us it’s because of God’s steadfast love. To love steadfastly means to recall the promise or covenant faithfulness God made with His people, and although we are lawbreakers, God himself upholds his end of the covenant to make us His own, despite our sin. God is good, and in his goodness, while He can’t stand all that is evil, the opposite of good, but He can pardon the evil, the sin, the guilt, at the cost of His own name and reputation being put into question and maligned. And by God’s sheer act of mercy, we remember His covenant with us and verse 14 says the friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. God’s pardon restores our relationship with God, and although He ever remains awesome and sovereign over us, He calls us into intimacy as a friend who can share with him our very self, in whatever predicament and circumstances, anything!

Our GOD who forgives our sins and trespasses by removing the guilt we have done is the bedrock of the Christian faith. Undoubtedly, we would mention it is ultimately through Jesus Christ’s death on the cross, where Christ died for the ungodly so we can be acquitted of our guilt. Many messages have been shared in the past about this glorious feat. But for the remaining time, I want us to explore another aspect of what the cross did for us. Verses 2-3:

2  O my God, in you I trust;

let me not be put to shame;

let not my enemies exult over me.

3  Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame;

they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.

and then verse 20.

Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!

oLet me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

NO SHAME

The other half of the title is from my meditation of this Psalm, the idea of shame comes up over and over again. So I was wondering, am I ashamed of something? Someone? And then it dawned on me the person I am most ashamed of is myself. And in those days where I am not ashamed of myself, (rare as they are), I have voices close to me reminding me I should be ashamed. This is one marked difference being brought up in an Eastern culture upbringing. In the book Ministering in Honor-Shame Cultures by Jayson Georges and Mark Baker, which I highly recommend if you want to know how despite being Canadian (Western culture), there’s another force which is working in opposition in our lives if we are of Asian and Middle-Eastern descent. Besides, shame doesn’t choose countries. We all feel it, just differently. Western culture idea of shame tends to be more individual-focused, whereas Eastern culture of shame tend to be more communal, or honouring or shaming your clan.

David pleas, let me not be put to shame, let not my nemesis exult over me. Shame means to come to nothing, or feeling of one come to nothing, whether through public disgrace, failure of self or an object of trust. The first part really hit me. Shame does really feel like I am nothing. I don’t exist. Or even if I do exist, I would rather not exist because I bring (and there’s the word) shame or disgrace to God, to my family, and to the church. Shame is as old as the Beginning, when Adam and Eve sinned against God and ate from the fruit on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and found themselves naked, vulnerable, laid bare, and weren’t prepared to know this (this point can be a sermon all to itself), they hid and sew fig leaves into clothings to cover themselves. They experienced shame for the first time. Shame comes in many forms. At home, shame can be brought on by the news of a bad grade. By the husband who returns home and says to his wife he got laid off. Or the car got scratched up when you were backing up from the driveway. In all three cases, sin is not directly involved, and it is not even your fault. But why do you feel shame? Because there is a measuring stick, a set of expectations you are expected to meet. Bad grades means I am a failure. Being laid off means I am useless and unable to provide for my family. Car accident means I am careless. Adding further to that comparison with others, “wow that test was so easy!” or from a parent, “my daughter got an A, what did yours get?” It’s reason why some of us dread then annual class reunion dinner because you know you are going to have to cover up you are looking for work while they are sharing about promotions and a larger house or a new car. Shame seeps into your soul. So once again, the best thing to do is if church is a place to perfect people, better to hide these details of my life. How often when we ask someone “how are you doing?” Do you not hear a “I am fine,” or “pretty good.” Rarely, do you hear someone say, “I am so shameful, and let me tell you what happened.” It DOESN’T HAPPEN! Not even at church. Because you don’t know if you share the truth how others are going to react. You risk shame and your story being broadcast in the latest church news gossip newsreel! David knows that too, and so he pleas his enemies would never find out, and gloat over his failures and shame!

Illustration: Case in point, most of you know by now I am in the process of preparing for a new life away from my parents as instructed,(example of shame turned pride turned humility and acceptance) by the Bible. It’s my first time making such a huge decision with Shannon and we had a really good brother in Christ who also does part-time real estate agents help us find some possible places near Fairview Mall, so it’s close to the highway for me, and close to TTC for Shannon. We found a number of places but they either sold pretty quickly back in August or wasn’t right. By late September it was crazy, every time we would make an offer, someone has already beaten us to it. All the while, those around me keep reminding me the market is going to cool down, wait a few more months. By God’s grace in mid September something good came up and we made an offer and got it. But this is when the struggle begins. Purchasing and obtaining a mortgage wasn’t the struggle, it was the voices who disapprove of the purchase, which I was afraid of. Surprisingly my father accepted the decision. But it was other voices which when they heard how much I got it for, told me you bought it too high, or, I could have got it for a lower price. My shame and doubt immediately kicked in, as well as a bit of anger, for being challenged. I wrestled with the decision, so much so, I started going on websites about housing markets and check everyday to make sure the housing market is still high (because if it drops, it means those voices were right)! Slowly, I became enslaved to having to prove myself right, and secretly would feel so proud I proved to others I was right (though like a good Chinese, never actually say it to their faces). Slowly, it eats into you, the quest to be right and prove others wrong, that it consumed me. But by God’s grace, through prayer with others I realize I had the wrong motive and my shame had turned into a game of whose better predicting the market. The only way to quit the game is to surrender the fact I don’t know if I bought it at the right time, and I am feeling all this need to justify myself, and I just need to entrust and see the condo, at whatever price, was a gift from God to bless Shannon and I in the future. And whether those voices may prove me right or wrong, I am no longer enslaved to needing the praise of others.

The antidote to shame is not pride, you’d think so because the world tells us the person with the most and the loudest and biggest and fastest (or in my case, the best price and best housing climate) wins. But verse 9 says:

He leads the humble in what is right,

and teaches the humble his way.

Humility is the antidote to shame. Wait, you say, doesn’t humility means admitting you haven’t got what it takes? Humility means to bow. Bow to who? To those voices of disapproval. No, to God. When we bow down, it means we relinquish control for spiritual cosmetics, to appear holy, and blameless, and accepted, and worthy of how others see me. In exchange, we receive from God, through Jesus, what only He can give and the only thing he can give, a new identity. says:

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

How many times have the identity of children of God saved me from spiralling into thoughts of despair and unworthiness!

We submit to Him with all our shame (again, recall Jim’s dream) and allow Him to reorder our values and priorities. The reordering of values and priorities is the way or path that in verse 4: Make me to know your ways, O Lord. Teach me your path.

says:

It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor

than to divide the spoil with the proud.

Did I mention there was a second insight to Jim’s dream?

Short illustration: He says, he is reminded of , when we offer ourselves as a living sacrifice. It means I am no longer mine. Practically, I need to learn from God. The question I need to ask is: What do I need to learn from you today? What do I need to unlearn? About Family, society, etc and replace it with God’s standard and measurement. Our values and priorities?

YOU

Now normally, this would be the place where i will give you very practical advice on how you can apply this message to different areas of your life. But today, I think God instead is asking us to spend some time meditating on the key aspects of life and to ask God to make me to know your ways, O Lord, teach me your path.

I am going to say an area of life, and what I want you to ask God to teach you by asking Him the following:

What is my view of this currently? What is God asking me to change in how I see this? What am I afraid of if I were to change my ways? Who am I afraid of if they knew I was going to change my ways?

When you believe God has given you an answer, I want you to scribble it onto the blank space on the bulletin.

Ready? Let’s start with an easy one.

My career

Family, perhaps a family member, that you attribute the word shame. Either they Bonn have done something you are ashamed of, or they have publicly shamed you in a way, and you realize you have

WE

The last line, if we would just go back to the first slide I highlighted two verses. The core, and the end.

A place we can freely share our shame and know we have been forgiven and are with others who have also recipient of grace and pardon and won’t judge your shame.