SUBMITTING TO SUBMISSION
SUBMITTING TO SUBMISSION
3:1–2 Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands. NRSV The phrase in the same way (or “likewise,” homoios) most likely referred to 2:13, “Accept the authority of every human institution” (NRSV). The word homoios has a slightly different slant than the word kathos, another word that is translated “in the same way.” If Peter had used the word kathos, he would have meant that wives should serve their husbands in the same way that slaves serve their masters. However, the word homoios focuses the comparison in other areas. While wives are to serve their husbands “in the same way” as slaves serve their masters, Peter was not saying that wives were slaves. Instead, the wives’ service should have positive motives (“for the Lord’s sake,” 2:13), should be consistent no matter what the attitude of the one in authority (“not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh,” 2:18), and should have a positive attitude (“with all respect,” 2:18). Christian wives were to accept the authority of their husbands in obedience to Christ to keep harmony in the family and to encourage unbelieving husbands to believe.
Submission of the wife to the husband is an often misunderstood concept, although it is taught in several places in the New Testament (see, for example, Galatians 3:28; Ephesians 5:24; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:5). It may be the least popular Christian teaching in society. These texts do not teach the general subjugation of all women under all men. The principle of submission does not require a woman to become a doormat. When a Christian wife interacted with an unbelieving husband, she needed to be submissive according to cultural norms in order to save her marriage and sometimes even her life. But she ought not participate in her husband’s pagan religion or submit to actions that dishonored God. However, when both wife and husband were Christians, the woman should respect the God-given authority of her husband, while the husband exercised his authority in a loving and gentle manner. For marriage and family relationships to run smoothly, there must be one appointed leader—and God has appointed the husband and father. The wife should willingly follow her husband’s leadership in Christ, acknowledging that this is his responsibility. Submission does not mean blind obedience, nor does it mean inferiority. A wife who accepts her husband’s authority is accepting the relationship that God has designed and giving her husband leadership and responsibility.
SUBMITTING TO SUBMISSION
What should a wife do if her husband is an unbeliever or very difficult to live with? Peter says she should accept the authority of her husband. To accept authority means to cooperate voluntarily with someone else out of love and respect for God and for that person. For Christian couples, submission must be mutual. Paul wrote, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NIV). When only one partner believes, submission can be an effective Christian strategy to win unbelievers. Jesus Christ submitted to God’s will and died so that we could be saved. A Christian wife may sometimes have to submit in unpleasant circumstances so that her husband will see that Christ is her Lord and come to believe. (Christian submission never requires us to disobey God, submit to abuse, or participate in what our Holy Spirit-directed conscience forbids.) One-sided submission requires tremendous strength. Ask for the power of the Holy Spirit to help you obey Christ in your marriage.
So that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. NIV In the first century, when a man became a Christian, he usually would bring his whole family into the church with him (see, for example, the story of the conversion of the Philippian jailer, Acts 16:29–34). By contrast, a woman who became a Christian usually came into the church alone. Under Roman law, the husband and father had absolute authority over all members of his household, including his wife. A wife who demanded her rights as a free woman in Christ could endanger her marriage and her life if her husband disapproved. Instead, she should live her new faith quietly and respectfully. Peter reassured Christian women who were married to unbelievers that they need not preach to their husbands; their husbands could be won over without words. (Paul used the same word describing the “winning” of unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 9:19–22.)
WITNESS WITHOUT WORDS
In an intimate relationship like marriage, actions often speak louder than words. Words get preachy, but actions demonstrate reality. Words create division, but loving action builds trust. Words lay out propositional truth—the information about salvation—but actions show the living Christ in the believer’s heart and life.
Did Peter forbid a spouse to witness? Obviously not. Words built on trust and love can transform a life. Does Peter downplay street preaching, testimonies, sermons, and personal witnessing? Truly not. He was advising married partners how to treat unbelieving spouses. If your husband is a nonbeliever, you can strengthen your marriage not by preaching, but by living, loving, and letting God provide the opportunity for you to witness.
Under the circumstances, the wives’ best approach would be witnessing by their behavior. Their attitude should reflect loving service: They should show their husbands the kind of self-giving love that Christ showed the church. Their lives should reflect both purity and reverence. “Purity” refers to behavior that is free from moral defilement. The wives should be pure for their husbands’ sakes, yet they would have to disobey should their husbands ask them to do something morally wrong or to participate in pagan practices. “Reverence” is the same word translated as “respect” in 2:18 (phobos), referring to healthy fear. The wives had no protection from violence (other than murder) under the law. So these wives should not do anything to incur the displeasure of their husbands. By being exemplary wives, they would please their husbands. At the very least, the men would then allow these wives to continue practicing their “strange” religion. At best, their husbands would join them and become Christians too.