Teach Them Diligently

Introduction: What are we going to do to save our children?

We have 22 children at our congregation that have not reached their teenage years. This is an incredible blessing! This is also an awesome and sobering responsibility.

American churches have realized for some time that they are losing young people at an alarming rate. Baptist and Assembly of God denominations have done studies to determine the extent of the problem, and have estimated they are losing between 50% and 88% of their youth once they hit college and young adult years.

If that were true for us, it would mean that we could expect between 11 and 19 of these children to leave the church when they get older.

Let’s assume, however, that we don’t suffer from that type of loss. Let’s assume we’ve done better than that, and we only lose a third; not half or 90 percent. That would be tremendously better - over 50% better than some other group!

That would still mean we’d lose 7 of these children. Let’s be honest and call it what it is. We wouldn’t just “lose them” and they wouldn’t just “leave the church.” If they leave the church and don’t come back, that means they’ll lose their souls. They’ll be eternally lost.

While only 7 out of 22 might be better numbers than other groups are seeing, answer this question: which 7 of the kids sitting in our pews right now are you OK with losing their eternal souls?

Our goal cannot be to minimize the loss. Our goal must be to save every one of these precious souls.

Thus, the next and more important question: what are we going to do to save our children?

Parents Have a God-Given Responsibility to Spiritually Train Their Children

Children are a blessing from the Lord (), but they come with a a great responsibility. Children must be trained and taught. They must be taught nearly everything that will be needed to mature and live. This is also true spiritually. God commands parents to train their children in the ways of godliness.

This is not an option or an extra-curricular family activity. The most important training parents will do is the spiritual training of their children!

This training may be aided by others (family, church leaders, etc.) but as a parent, you have the first and primary responsibility of training your children to be godly men and women!

Ephesians 6:4 ESV

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Fathers - note that we bear the primary responsibility in spiritually training our children. Yes, both parents should be involved in this, but as the spiritual leaders in the home, we should also be the leader in spiritually training the children.

We must never be tyrants or dictators that end up pushing away our children, but as God loves His children, we are to love, care for, guide, and train our children. This will involve appropriate discipline, but must also include instruction.

It is not the job of the elders, the preacher, the teachers, the grandparents, the school-teachers, or anyone else to provide your children with instruction in the Lord. That primary responsibility falls on fathers and parents as a team.

Others may help and will hopefully have good and helpful impacts on raising children, but the primary responsibility is that father and mothers.

Are you instructing your children in the Lord?

Deut.

Deuteronomy 4:9 ESV

9 “Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—

Deuteronomy 6:7–9 ESV

7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deut.

Deuteronomy 11:18–20 ESV

18 “You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 20 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,

Deut.

Deuteronomy 32:45–46 ESV

45 And when Moses had finished speaking all these words to all Israel, 46 he said to them, “Take to heart all the words by which I am warning you today, that you may command them to your children, that they may be careful to do all the words of this law.

Deut. 32:

As Moses re-told the Law to the nation of Israel that had grown up in the wilderness, he emphasized again and again the importance of training children. There was a simple outline of the expected response to the Law: (1) Know the Law (2) Keep the Law (3) Teach the Law (A good pattern for us to follow!)

especially highlights this with the admonition “teach them diligently to your children.”

At least

“diligently” means to teach through repetition. The passage shows how to do that. God’s Word is something to be spoken about in our homes. It should fill our conversations, and as parents we should seek opportunities to teach our children the Word of God.

The picture painted in entails much more than bringing children to one, two, or even three church services a week. It pictures a home where God and His Word are cherished, and thus taught and discussed frequently.

Psalm 78:1–8 ESV

1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! 2 I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, 3 things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. 4 We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. 5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, 6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, 7 so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; 8 and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.

If parents don’t teach their children, how will they know God? How will your children know God, His Word, and the way of salvation if you don’t help teach them?

God commands His people to teach their children, and in this command is a great blessing and safety. If we diligently teach our children, then they will be equipped to live godly and to teach their children.

Our parenting decisions and practices today will likely have an impact, either positively or negatively, on generations that have yet to be born. Descendants who won’t even remember your name may be impacted by your choice to either train up your children or to neglect that great responsibility.

Don’t let your children forget the wondrous works and love of God - teach them about God, His love, His Son, His church, and His will for them, so that they may grow up to be steadfast Christians themselves!

A Few Examples of Godly Parents

Abraham

Genesis 18:19 ESV

19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”

Genesis 22:5–7 ESV

5 Then Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey; I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you.” 6 And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son. And he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. 7 And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?”

Abraham set an example for his son by putting God first above all else, and thus by obeying God in all ways.

Further, it’s clear that Abraham had taught his son to worship. By this point in Isaac’s life, he knew what was needed to worship God. How did he know? His father had taught him.

Fathers (and mothers) - we need to be teaching our children to love the Lord and to worship Him in spirit and in truth!

Joshua

Joshua 24:15 ESV

15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

We don’t know many details about Joshua’s family, but we know he had determined that he would lead his family in service to the Lord.

Fathers - we must be spiritual leaders, and like Joshua we must make the conscious decision that we and our house will serve the Lord. Whatever else you choose for your family, choose to lead them in service to God!

Job

,

Know the Law

Job 1:1 ESV

1 There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil.

Job 1:4–5 ESV

4 His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually.

Job was continually concerned about the spiritual wellbeing of his children. In fact, Job’s greatest fear seems to have been that his children would reject God.

What is your greatest fear for your children? That they won’t succeed in school? That they won’t be a star athlete? That they won’t get a job that makes enough money? Our greatest fear for our children should be the same as Job’s.

Some Basic Suggestions for Spiritually Training Our Children

How Can We Spiritually Train Our Children?

Be the Example

Before we can truly teach and train our children to follow the Lord, we must follow the Lord. Children learn from our instruction, but they also learn from our example. We can teach God’s Word all we want, but if our children don’t see us living according to it, our teaching will likely be in vain.

Even in Deuteronomy, it was clear that parents were expected to know and obey the law themselves, and then teach their children.

If you want your children to be Christians, then you must be a christian. If you want your children to read the Bible, they need to see you reading the Bible. If you want them to attend services faithfully, they need to see you attending services faithfully. If you want them to put God first, they need to see you putting God first. If you want them to pray, they need to see you praying. If you want them to love and serve others, they need to see you loving and serving others.

Ask yourself this question: “If my children grow up to become the type of Christian I am right now, would that be good or bad for their spiritual welfare?”

Set Family Priorities

Our society places tremendous demands on our schedules. Work, school, hobbies, sports and extracurricular activities of all kinds, vacations. Add to the demands of time the various distractions such as television, internet, social media, and so on, and families quickly run out of time.

In fact, some studies indicate that most American families only spend ~37 minutes a day truly together without distraction.

With all of this, many families coast through life without giving much time to spiritual matters.

Ask yourself: “Each week, how much time does my family spend on (1) secular education? (2) Sports and other hobbies? (3) recreation and entertainment?”

Now ask, “Each week, how much time does my family spend (1) worshipping? (2) praying together? (3) reading the Bible? (4) discussing spiritual things (5) around other Christians?

What comes first for your family? School functions or church? Sports or church? Jobs or Church? Family or Church? Etc.

When it comes to family priorities, they must be set by the parents. The priorities you set now will have a tremendous impact on the priorities your children set later.

If you don’t make church and spiritual service a priority now, don’t be surprised if your children don’t make God a spiritual priority later.

Practice Family Worship

The public, corporate worship of the local congregation is certainly important, and we should bring our families to the worship with the church at EVERY opportunity. Congregational worship, however, is likely not enough. Even if we bring our children to three services a week, is that enough to truly bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?

We need to be more engaged as families in spiritual activities. Just as pictured, our homes should be places of frequent training and even worship.

One of the easiest yet most important things we can do is partake in daily family worship. We are commanded to gather on the first day of the week to worship as the local congregation, but that’s not the only time we can worship God. We can partake in family worship every single day. This is not a complex, formal worship service. It can be as simple as this:

Read part of God’s Word, and maybe discuss it, ask and answer questions about it, or teach it simply.

Sing hymns together as a family. Singing has been a great part of worship to God since the Old Testament days. Why don’t we try to sing more with our children? Perhaps we’re embarrassed or feel awkward. Chances are, our children don’t, and they likely enjoy singing church songs. Times of family singing just might be some of their greatest memories when they grow older.

Pray: Pray together as a family. Ask children to think of things to thank God for or ask God for. Have them pray. Fathers - do much of the praying, but have mothers pray also. Maybe have each family member take a turn praying. Whatever you do, spend some time praying together as a family.

These simple things can be done in 10 minutes, or for older children, perhaps a family can spend 20 or 30 minutes each evening in family worship. But make it a goal to worship together as a family every day, or at least every day that you don’t attend public worship services.

Reasons We Don’t Practice Family Worship

We don’t have time: Perhaps you’re thinking, “how can I fit something else into our family schedule? We’re too busy already!” Well - maybe so. If that’s the case, then it’s time to make some important, possibly hard decisions, about your priorities. If you’re too busy to spend time reading the Bible together, singing together, and praying together, then you are simply too busy, and you need to cut something out. Ask yourself, what’s more important? Spending time with my family to read and study God’s Word, to pray together, and to praise God together, or a ballgame? Or a school activity? Or a job? Of all the things you can sacrifice, why would worshipping as a family be on the top of your list?

Example: Cutters - 12 kids, they did not partake in anything outside of school. They came home, worked on the family homestead, and spent time as a family reading and studying God’s Word every day. All 12 kids remained faithful Christians.

Further, “I don’t have time” is an excuse that simply doesn’t fit. It’s not that we don’t have time, it’s that we don’t make time.

One of the most well known preachers of all time was Charles Spurgeon. It’s recorded that at 6:00 every evening, Spurgeon, his wife, and their twin sons retired to his study for a time of family worship. Even when there were guests in the house, which there usually were, they observed this practice and the guests joined. One might assume that a preacher in the 1800’s had much more available time than the bustling career-man of today. But consider this: Spurgeon was the pastor for a church of over 6,000 people, the largest church in existence at the time. He preached almost every day (not just on Sundays!), and edited his sermons for weekly publication, which lead to the 64 volume set of sermons known as the Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit, which is the largest collection of works by a single author in English. Further, he wrote 120 other books, averaging a book every four months of his adult life. He partook in or presided over 66 different ministries, edited a monthly magazine, read five books each week, and wrote hundreds of letters each week. All this, and Spurgeon had time to stop his work at 6:00 every evening, and worship with his family.

I am not as busy as Charles Spurgeon was. You are not as busy as Charles Spurgeon was. The difference may simply be the choices we make with the time we have.

We haven’t done this before: Perhaps you’ve wanted to do something like this before, but never have, and can’t figure out how to start. If you’re a husband and a father, it may even be embarrassing that you’ve never done this, and you don’t know how to start something you know you should have started years ago. One writer who addressed some of the common objections to family worship said,

a single reason operates with more force than all the other [excuses] put together. It is when a man says, most likely only to himself, the truth is, I am ashamed to begin.

Don’t let previous failure hinder future success. Sometimes we men are not the spiritual leaders we ought to be. When we recognize that, the answer is not to continue being a poor spiritual leader. The answer is to repent, and change! Let your wife know you want to do a better job of leading the family spiritually. Let your family know you want to take time every day to worship God together. Maybe it will feel strange or awkward at first, but do it anyways! We can learn from the example of Jacob:

Genesis 35:2–3 ESV

2 So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, “Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify yourselves and change your garments. 3 Then let us arise and go up to Bethel, so that I may make there an altar to the God who answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone.”

Family Circumstances: Each family is unique and will need to find a plan and schedule that works best for them. In homes where a father is not present, mothers should still lead their family in family worship. In homes where the father (or mother) isn’t a Christian, the faithful parent should still lead the children in family worship time, and invite and encourage the unbelieving spouse to sit in and join. Who knows what positive impact such a practice might have! Couples who have no children or who’s children have moved away from home can still spend time in family worship together!

3. Family Circumstances: Each family is unique and will need to find a plan and schedule that works best for them. In homes where a father is not present, mothers should still lead their family in family worship. In homes where the father (or mother) isn’t a Christian, the faithful parent should still lead the children in family worship time, and invite and encourage the unbelieving spouse to sit in and join. Who knows what positive impact such a practice might have! Couples who have no children or who’s children have moved away from home can still spend time in family worship together!

Conclusion: What Will We Do To Save Our Children?

So, once again I ask, “what are we going to do to save our children?” What will you do to bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord? What will you do to be a better example, to be a better teacher, and to set better priorities in your home? Don’t be fooled - the choices you make today may have an impact on your child’s spiritual welfare tomorrow.

Remember the numbers of children leaving the church? Here’s some of the top reasons that have been given by those who leave:

They had troubling, unanswered questions about their faith (this happens when families don’t spend time reading, study, and discussing Scripture together)

Their faith was not “working” for them (this happens when “faith” is mere church attendance, not a lifestyle of the parents and not taught as a lifestyle to the children)

They allowed other things to take priority (this is usually learned behavior. Church wasn’t a true priority for their parents, and thus it becomes non-essential for them)

They never personally owned their faith (Again, this happens when religion is mere church attendance, and other things in life take higher priorities. School, activities, sports, and other influences will have a tremendous impact on a child’s goals, desires, and sense of fulfillment. If Church is a miniscule part of their life, it will likely stay miniscule or be dropped altogether in search of something more fulfilling)

That doesn’t have to be our children. We can begin working now to be the spiritual leaders we should be in the home. We can rededicate ourselves to be godly husbands and wives, and godly fathers and mothers that truly put God first in our lives and in our homes. We can join Joshua today in saying, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!”

Keep the Law

Teach the Law