Ten Laws of Boundaries: Part 2

Law 6: The Law of Evaluation

You need to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries and be responsible to the other person

this does not mean one should avoid boundaries because someone responds with anger or hurt

Difference between Hurt and Harm

Story of Sandy p. 96

Ephesians 4:25 NASB95

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.

Law 7: The Law of Proactivity

reactive explosion of a person after years of compliance leads to a fracture in relationships

to love our neighbors as ourselves, we should establish proactive boundaries instead of reactive boundaries

“This is where you are able to use the freedom you gained through reacting to love, enjoy and serve one another. Proactive people show you what they love, what they want, what they purpose, and what they stand for. These people are very different from those who are known by what they hate, what they don’t like, what they stand against, and what they will not do.”

Law 8: The Law of Envy

This is longing for things or character traits outside of your boundaries.

Its not a sin to want something, but envy makes a person insatiable and dissatisfied.

Instead of using and cultivating the gifts a person has, he or she longs to be like so and so.

Law 9: The Law of Activity

This is seen in taking initiative in life, responding to invitation and pushing ourselves into life.

Many boundary problems occur from a lack of Initiative or passivity.

In this parable, those who succeeded were active and assertive.

Matthew 25:14–30 NASB95

“For it is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them. “To one he gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey. “Immediately the one who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more talents. “In the same manner the one who had received the two talents gained two more. “But he who received the one talent went away, and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. “Now after a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. “The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, ‘Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.’ “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’ “Also the one who had received the two talents came up and said, ‘Master, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more talents.’ “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’ “And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed. ‘And I was afraid, and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’ “But his master answered and said to him, ‘You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed. ‘Then you ought to have put my money in the bank, and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest. ‘Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.’ “For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. “Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

God will not do for us

“the sin God rebukes is not trying and failing, but failing to try. Trying, failing and trying again is called learning. “

God does not reb

Law 10: The Law of Exposure

The Law of Exposure says that your boundaries need to be made visible to others and communicated to them in relationship.

Not communicating boundaries causes relationships to suffer

Example of the compliant wife

Ephesians 5:13–14 NASB95

But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says, “Awake, sleeper, And arise from the dead, And Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 4:25–26 NASB95

Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

They idea here is to keep things in the light so darkness and resentment have no chance to grow and destroy relationships