Being Holy as He is Holy - Aftershock
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INTRO:
Last week Recap:
What is purity - not having any imperfections
God’s unique creation - mankind
God’s special relationship for man and woman - Marriage
God’s special gift within marriage - Sex
Sin twist and distorts God’s design
This week:
What was broken at the fall of man in Genesis 3?
Relationships
God’s design for our relationships, particularly with the opposite sex
Between Man and God
Between Man and Woman
Between Man and the Earth
From that time on God has led us through the law and prophets in the Old Testament and through Christ in the New Testament of how our relationships are to be between one another
31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,
15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,
Our call is to be holy
What does the word holy mean?
To be set apart, distinct
Even in our relationships with one another we are to be set apart from how the rest of the world is
Holy Relationships
Holy Relationships
Our relationships with the opposite sex fall into one of three categories:
Believer and Non-believer
Brother and Sister
Husband and Wife
The Believer and Non-Believer
The Believer and Non-Believer
For the Believer
17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
1 “You shall therefore love the Lord your God and keep his charge, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always.
Luke
28 But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”
Called to obey God’s commands, that obedience leads to blessings
What does God command us about relationships with believers and non believers?
14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
2 Corinthians
We are not to engage in romantic relationships with those who are unbelievers
Why does it matter if someone is a believer or not?
Called to be holy, God’s chosen people
Our standard is God’s not the world’s
Different views and beliefs
1
Compromising the Word of God
Go farther physically than you intended
Bring honor and glory to God through our relationships
Our job is to share the Gospel with those who don’t believe not become romantically involved with them
Glove and Mud
Brother and Sister
Brother and Sister
What if they are a believer, how should I pursue someone I’m interested in?
First step to pursuing anyone is to pursue God
30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
every part of us is to be focused on God
If our heart is not there — if our soul is not already safe through faith, if our mind is distracted and focused on other, lesser things, if our best strength is being spent on the things of this world — jobs, sports, shopping, entertainment, relationships, and not on God — we simply will not date well. - Marshall Segal
God has to be the centerpiece of any relationship we enter in
33 Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them.
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Seek God first and God will provide what you need
How we should view other believers in any relationship that isn’t marriage is as a brother or sister
What does this look like?
Carried out as caring for one another:
looking to spiritual growth and closeness to God over each other
Song of Solomon gives us this warning 3 times , ,
Solomon and his bride while they were courting adored each other, but knew the pressures of sin on their relationship and urge others to be obedient in following God in their relationship
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
Satan will do what he can to dismantle our relationships and bring separation between us and God
8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
1 Peter
Keep Christ at the center of your life to overcome the schemes of the enemy
The Gospel of Christ realigns all our thinking and desires and places Him at the forefront
changed to seek out others well being over our own
we live sacrificially as He did
lead in holiness
Husband and Wife
Husband and Wife
pursue Christ over a girl
The pursuit of all dating should lead to marriage, why?
Called to be holy, we don’t pursue relationships the way the world does
Marriage is a reflection of God
Covenant commitment to one other person
God’s covenant commitment to His bride the church
How should a marriage look?
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
we must be imitators of God
walking in the grace of His Gospel
Then we move into God’s good design for a man and a woman in marriage in
Who came first the church or Christ?
Jesus initiated, church responded
Men initiate women respond
Husbands:
love your wives as Christ loved the church
sacrificing yourself for her
die to self just as Christ did
Lead the home in spiritual truth
Wives:
Submit to the husbands headship
glad submission to his provision
As the church submits to Christ
Who came first the church or Christ?
Jesus initiated, church responded
Men initiate women respond
Husbands:
love your wives as Christ loved the church
sacrificing yourself for her
die to self just as Christ did
Lead the home in spiritual truth
Men are called to lead and set the tone for the family
How Do We Live Holy Relationships?
How Do We Live Holy Relationships?
Walk in step with the Gospel
Place God at the forefront
Guys:
See girls as your sister unless you are married
Look out for them
Lead in holiness and righteousness
Don’t pursue a girl unless you want her to be your wife
Don’t play with her heart
Seek Godly counsel and accountability in any relationship with a girl
Be submissive to the Gospel and trust in God’s design
Lay down your desires for the glory of Christ in your relationships
Girls:
Set high standards
know your worth and value to God
Place Godly women in your life to give guidance
All relationships believer/ non-believer, brother/sister, and husband/wife are rooted in love
Love of Christ and love for each other - Love the Lord, Love your neighbor
1 Corinthians 13:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love is not abusive, love is not self-seeking
Abuse in any form is not loving, does not follow the call of the Gospel, and is not your fault
if you have experienced any abuse talk to someone
it is not your fault
you did nothing wrong
you need help with healing
2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
we want to walk with you through this
Believer and Non-Believer
Believer and Non-Believer
31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
Why does it matter if someone is a believer or not if I want to take an interest in them?
We want to be obedient to God
1 “You shall therefore love the Lord your God and keep his charge, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always.
28 But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”
Luke
If we are called to be obedient to God, and those who are obedient are blessed, then we follow what God tells us about being in a relationship with nonbelievers...
How should we
Bible calls us to not be unequally yoked -
14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Why would God warn us not to be unequally yoked?
different beliefs about God
you can be led astray
You can be led in to compromise
God’s warnings are never to rob us of joy, but lead us into the fullest capacity of joy, rooted in Him.
Apart from Christ we never have full satisfaction
Be selective:
Line a person up with the scriptures
pray about the person
seek godly counsel and wisdom from trusted advisors
DON’T rush into anything
Proverbs 19:
2 Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.
They are a believer what do I do?
14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance,
15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,
9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
If we are going to be obedient to God’s Word and be His people not unequally yo
Brother and Sister
Husband and Wife
If you are not married your view of the opposite sex is that is your brother and sister
What does viewing others as your brother or sister look like?
3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
doing nothing for my own satisfaction
considering others over myself
Reflections of Christ towards us - living out the Gospel in our relationships
What is dating?
Two people being bf and gf?
two people holding hands and kissing?
two people becoming physically intimate?
This is pretend marriage, wants all the aspects of marriage without the commitment to one person and God
Does the Bible show us dating?
Not in the respects that we think
shows it as courting - a man’s desire to pursue a woman for marriage
if you’re not looking for marriage you are playing with the other persons heart, thus considering yourself over the
As we view members of the opposite sex, the only biblical perspective if you are not husband and wife, is brother and sister
As we view members of the opposite sex, the only biblical perspective if you are not husband and wife, is brother and sister
Love defined in the scriptures:
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 3:
This was given to the church not to couples, our view in relation to one another should follow this
we are not looking to gain selfishly out of any relationship
we look to serve and rejoice in truth
What should I do if I really like someone?
what are your motives for interest in this person?
is it looks?
they seem cool?
they are funny?
Their love for the Lord
How does the Bible tell us to engage this person?