Chapter 6: Common Boundary Myths Part 2

Myth 6: When Other Set Boundaries, It Injures Me

This myth is a reaction to other’s boundaries.

When others set limits, it can be hurtful causing us to falsely believe that boundaries are not helpful or healthy

So how does this happen, if boundaries are a good thing? why does accepting others boundaries sometimes hurt?

1) Having Inappropriate boundaries set on us can injure us, especially in childhood

2) We sometimes project our own injuries onto others

3) An inability to receive someone’s boundary may mean there is an overdependent relationship

4) An inability to accept others’ boundaries can indicate a problem in taking responsibility

Myth 7: Boundaries Cause Feelings of Guilt

This stems from the thought that we owe others.

For example, with parents we may feel that they gave us so much, therefore; I should feel guilty for wanting to move to another state for a job.

because we have received something, we think we owe something

this is a nonexistent debt; love, money or time that we receive is a gift.

if a person gives you something with an expected return it is not a gift but a loan.

Real gifts should be responded to with gratitude and not expected obligations

Think of God and Salvation

Myth 8: Boundaries Are Permanent, and I’m Afraid of Burning my Bridges

this is not true because boundaries are subject to you!

when you set limits on a person and they respond maturely and with love, boundaries can be renegotiated

boundaries can also be changed if you are in a safer place than before

Its biblical!