Wisdom and Words ....The role of words in wise living.

OPENING ILLUSTRATION

Wisdom and Words

Wisdom and Words ..... The role of words in wise living.

OPENING ILLUSTRATION

“sticks and stones can break our bones but names will never hurt us.”

The Proverb we’ve learnt since kindy ... It’s a ready come back when you are being teased and you can’t think of anything better to say.

But does the Bible agree?

Our theme from the book of Proverbs today is Wisdom and Words. What does the book of Proverbs have to say about words? Is there a way to be wise in our use of words?

Right from the start the book tells us that it is a collection of words given to instruct.

Help the simple/young gain wisdomHelp the wise to continue in wisdom.

It calls for an appropriate response – to study and heed the instruction, a challenge to be wise.

If we were to read through the whole book and highlight all the passages which referred to the use of words or lips or speech or tongue (etc) then we would find that there are a large number of verses given to instruction on the wise and foolish use of words and the consequences of doing so – I counted about 170 verses dealing with the topic of wisdom and words.

Proverbs tells us that WORDS HAVE POWER ...and this might be a little extreme in your thinking

18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death

How can this be? How can invisible, weightless words possess power? Listen to a few more

12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

25:15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Proverbs seems very clear here – words have power and they penetrate to the souls. And words can HURT or HEAL So let’s take a bit of a flick through Proverbs and get an idea of what these 170 odd verses dealing with wisdom and words have to say.

Proverbs tells us that WORDS HAVE POWER ...and this might be a little extreme in your thinking

18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death

How can this be? How can invisible, weightless words possess power? Listen to a few more

12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

25:15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Proverbs seems very clear here – words have power and they penetrate to the souls. And words can HURT or HEAL

Words have the power to wound.. inflict a lot of HURT ... power to do damage .. pierce through like a sword .. Y’see, once it’s said you can’t take it back. When you pull out the sword and the wound is still there .. and if they survive, the scar is there .. and note these are slashing words careless ... harsh ... reckless words and promises ... they set up disappointment / set up expectations that can never be taken away destroys your credibility .. you can’t put the banana back in its skin once you've peeled it ...

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

If you reckon that you are a godly person, living the life that God’s people are called to live and yet you are not careful with your words or you are not aware of the dangers of the tongue then you are not as godly as you imagine yourself to be.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell...

Feel the power of Proverbs12:18 ... words have the power to wound.. inflict a lot of HURT ... power to do damage .. pierce through like a sword .. Y’see, once it’s said you can’t take it back. When you pull out the sword and the wound is still there .. and if they survive, the scar is there .. and note these are slashing words careless ... harsh ... reckless words and promises ... they set up disappointment / set up expectations that can never be taken away destroys your credibility .. you can’t put the banana back in its skin once you've peeled it ...

If we’re not thinking about what we say we can make promises that we can’t keep .. or simply forget to keep “We must catch up for coffee” ... “I’ll give you a hand tomorrow” or sometimes it’s rash criticism .. cutting remarks ... and that will sour relationships ... the tongue / words .. can kill

Now they can physical kill people .. words can bring people to murder and suicide ... words have started wars ... AND Psychologically we can kill people ... some have been scarred by those names .. “stupid” .. “dumb” .. if we are told that you are no good ... “You’ll never amount to anything” .. they are toxic words that keep polluting .. affecting us ... the way you see others .. way we see ourselves .. a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words .... can destroy my soul

What is done TO you is nothing like what is done IN you ... words get IN you .. pierce like a sword

Words also have the power to destroy community 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends..

AND

“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

(; ; NIV)

Gossip, slander lies ..they HURT DEEPLY .. destroy a relationship .. reality gets distorted and then barriers are put up

Now we know that God HATES lies .. Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord ... it’s only true and sincere honest words that bind us together in community ... true words make love and trust and intimacy possible

Otherwise we are just faking it

And speaking the lies is only half the problem ... listening to lies and gossip is also going to erode our friendships ..

An evildoer listens to wicked lips and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue ..

This is a tough one isn’t it .. coz we’d all agree that gossip is a delicious morsel

AND .. as we read through the New Testament it’s the same thing .. there are repeated calls for God’s people to guard their tongues.

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

If you reckon that you are a godly person, living the life that God’s people are called to live and yet you are not careful with your words or what you listen to and promote … you are not aware of the dangers of the tongue … you are not as godly as you imagine yourself to be.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell...

We have to admit it .. we love gossip ... the magazine industry makes billions .. there’s a large readership salivating for the next instalment .. ruining people is considered sport .. just look at the way politicians work at smear campaigns .. look at what are the most watched shows on TV .. Married At First Sight .. MKR

But we have to name for what it is ... garbage collecting .. we have to be careful what we are listening to .. and what we pass on .. and the discipline/wisdom of keeping our mouth shut AND .. even harder .. to break that gossip chain .. to say ... “Friend I think you need to talk to the person your talking about .. lets go and discuss it”

We want our homes .. our churches to be SAFE places where people come .. so we fight against the temptations to put others down behind their back ..

What you PERMIT .. you PROMOTE .. lets keep promoting godliness and nip lies and gossip in the bud

So ... what do you do with the negative feelings ... the pain and hurt ..we want to be honest and sincere ..NB “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.”

( NIV)

How’s that for tricky? We don’t want to spread slander .. but we do want to deal with those feelings ... hate .. pain .. disappointment .. frustration .. misunderstanding .. anger

Talking to God about it is always the best start .. maybe talk it out with a mature trusted friend .. try and understand what the issues really are .. get the perspective right .. what’s really going on in us ... or how do we respond to those who do criticise or challenge us? How do we handle CONFLICT?

How do we use the power of speech POSITIVELY

10:21 The lips of the righteous nourish many,

10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,

And of course as we live life we want to be true disciples of Jesus who use our tongues well

How do we use the power of speech POSITIVELY

10:21 The lips of the righteous nourish many,

10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,

And of course as we live life we want to be true disciples of Jesus who use our tongues well

There’s no doubt that an HONEST word ... being TRUTHFUL and not DECEPTIVE is the way of WISDOM .. honesty builds solid foundations in any relationship .. building TRUST as we said earlier, is dependent on speaking the truth

“My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.”

( NIV)

“A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies.”

( NIV)

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

( NIV)

“Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

(; NIV)

Now I’m sure we all want to be people that BUILD others up .. that means being careful about what you say and how you say it? The famous guideline in NT ... speak the truth in love

As spouses talking things out .. we need to be open and honest .. not defensive .. we can’t always think alike and so we have to work our way prayerfully through things

And we’ve all had different ways we’ve communicated in our families .. for some everything is out there in the open and talked about ... others things are more hinted at .. y’know .. take the clues .. join the dots and you’ll get the message ... so life is a little like this ..

She says “I didn’t know you felt like this” ... Hubby “Well I’ve told you heaps of times .. she was suppose to pick up the little hints ... Y’see he didn’t tell her ... he didn’t find her lips .. not really communication ... not apt

It’s hard too

In dealing with our kids we need to be honest .. gets tricky though sometimes somethings they need to be protected from .. good deal of wisdom to guide their path

With work .. the boss .. school friends .. honestly expressing things might well be a challenge

Proverbs has some really helpful things to say about the HOW of speaking

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.”

(; NIV)

Wow .. a GENTLE word calls for great CONTROL ... and we are not talking about some whoosy mealy mouthed words .. mamby pamby wimpy words ... coz they wouldn’t break bones! nor turn away a raging angry person who’s hardened in their own way

Jesus is the classic example of one who uses WISE and GENTLE words .. remember ... woman caught in adultery .. and Jesus knows it’s an evil trap set to catch Him .. so here are the scribes and pharisees dragging this disgraced wicked immoral law breaker .. stirring up the crowds who were gathering large stones because they knew the penalty for adultery ..and throwing this woman in front of the godly rabbi is going to be a death sentence

What will this Son of God do?

Remember His words .. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone!”

How disarming was that .. they throw their stones down one by one until it’s just Jesus and the woman ..

Y’see .. in this situation Jesus could have let loose on these hypocrites .. “You bunch of losers .. you snakes .. dogs .. who scheme and connive to do evil .. etc etc .. His speech is not motivated to put them in their place ... give them a piece of His mind .. no

He diffused the situation ... showed grace .. and forgiveness and spoke with bone breaking clarity

What can we learn from that? We said earlier that we can’t CONCEAL a matter .. and sometimes we might have to go and talk to someone AFTER we’ve prayed and talked it over with someone .. maybe had a chat to the minister

It’s HONEST but GENTLE words that are needed .. GRACIOUS words that have to be said .. gentle is so often PERSUASIVE ... speaking kindly .. not putting the other person down or in their place .. not belittling them .. and said in such a way that the person we are speaking with knows it is hard for us to say these things but because we value a relationship and want to honour God, you want to say them

There is WISDOM and MATURITY ... healing words

Now the other thing that Jesus is teaching .. and Proverbs commends too .. is that while words need to be HONEST ... GENTLE .. they need to be APT or FITTING

“A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!”

( NIV)

“The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.”

( NIV)

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

( NIV)

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

(; NIV)

Choosing words to fit the sensitivities of the situation of the listener is important ... knowing how to respond in the situation .. what is needed .. will bring power to the conversation ... it will hit the mark .. it will be the kiss on the lips

Other times Jesus gets stuck into the pharisees and the teachers of the Law .. they were hypocrites .. leading others astray so it “Woe to you .. you brood of vipers ...

And in the Temple courts Jesus makes a whip of cords and drives out the money lenders with the clear message .. My Fathers house is to be a house of prayer ..

A good example is Nathan the prophet talking to King David about his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah

How do you go and tell the King off? Well as a prophet of God he could have read the riot act at David .. or have David executed by the letter of the law

But instead he speaks a parable about a little pet ewe lamb .. that is taken by a thoughtless selfish man to feed his visitors .. and really the punch line is just a few words .. Nathan has communicated so fittingly that David is left with a clear conviction .. He is the man .. guilty of death .. maybe not so much a kiss on the lips as a kick in the head

Sometimes the APT and FITTING word is “I’m sorry” ... “It was my fault” .... that is so disarming ... and may well lead to a kiss on the lips

But Proverbs issues a clear warning.

If you desire to live in harmony with our creator. If you want to live wisely as one of his people then you MUST exercise careful control of the tongue.

Proverbs knows how damaging the tongue can be ... words can HURT.

Proverbs knows the power of good that carefully chosen words can achieve... there is HEALING .. time doesn’t heal all wounds .. ignoring injuries doesn’t make them go away

But your question might be .. but ... how DO you know what to say .. when to give that GENTLE word ... what to ignore ... what to reconcile ... how to be HONEST?

Let’s look at one last thing

The OUTFLOW of the Heart

You see as Christians it is our REACTIONS as much as our ACTIONS that are a measure of our maturity. And our words form a big part of our reactions to people and situations.

What we say in the heat of the moment has a lasting impact. Things we say in jest or anger reveal our true feelings. The way we criticise workmates, judge others and put down those who we think deserve it. Or the way we praise and build up, encourage and support.

Our words in these situations leave a lasting impression whether we mean them to or not, whether for good or for bad.

If our hearts are truly given to serving God then our desire will be to persevere and struggle forward in our faith, to labour in acts of love; to endure in the hope we have – not a hope in this world but in relationship with Christ; THEN THIS WILL BE EVIDENCED MOST CLEARLY IN OUR SPEECH.

You cannot praise God if you curse and injure others with you words. Because your words are an OUT FLOW OF YOUR HEART.

In the Proverbs there is a definite link between the HEART and the MOUTH/LIPS/TONGUE.

What is on the heart is what is in the tongue. The tongue is driven by the heart.

15:7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.

15:28 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Wisdom recognises the connection between the heart and the tongue.

And in his teaching Jesus was very clear that the heart was the engine room for the tongue

"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognised by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

At this point there needs to be a warning.

In many contexts as we have seen words have great power.

But there is an area where words are also ineffective.

There are circumstances/incidences where words are powerless or weak.

Proverbs teaches

26:23 Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart.

On the outside everything may look to be all sweetness and light, but it only serves to cover a dark, sinful heart. CAMOUFLAGED BUT NOT CHANGED.

It is possible to make the profession of being a follower of Jesus – making all the right noises, saying all the right things, but not actually being one of his people.

This is so important. When we know we are accepted and loved by God we’ve TASTED grace and forgiveness ... acceptance .. experienced His GRACE

Y’see Jesus endured the silent treatment from His Father ... that glorious communication .. free honest intimate communication wasn’t heard at the cross ... Jesus was forsaken ..endured the cross and hell itself where it is silence and darkness

If you’ve come to repentance and faith .. the booming voice of God declares the Jesus is Lord and we are His children ... your HEART is changed

God doesn't scowl at the sight of you as you once thought he did. Arms crossed and angry, perpetually ticked off. Now you know better.

That affects our interaction with others ... how we speak to them ... willingness to take correction, coz we don’t have to be right all the time

Now that’s a process .. we are all seeking forgiveness for our speech ... becoming more like Jesus .. we work at godliness because we want to be disciples of Jesus .. get rid of a harsh, judgmental, and impatient spirit .. free from lies .. I don’t have to prove anything we don’t have to defend and vindicate ourselves .. slash at people .. “I’ll tell you a few things!”

When our heart is right we WANT to put a guard on our tongue

He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.

The challenge from the Bible is clear – but it is more than a challenge, it is a strong warning that God’s people have no option but to watch their words.

God calls on his people to be wise with their words. To consider how they speak to and about others. To use our words for good not evil.

CONCLUSION

It is impossible to think that we can say what we like, when we like and still be wise.

It is impossible to praise God and curse others with the same tongue.

It’s possible through foolishness to consider your self right with God and to find out when it is too late that you are not on his side. Salvation is through relationship with Christ. EVIDENCE of that relationship will come in part through the way we use our tongue. .. and willingness to forgive .. to repent .. to change in the power of the Spirit

Jesus tells us that if we are truly his we will do as he says.

Conventional wisdom tells us that

“Sticks and stones may break our bones but names will never hurt us.”

Proverbs disagrees. Proverbs tells us that Words when they are not used in wisdom can hurt ... scar ... even be the cause of DEATH of the SOUL both the speaker and the one to whom those words are directed.

But .. those with a heart change want a pure heart .. heaven is home .. and we want to speak the language of HEAVEN and we now have the words of eternal life which we want to share

He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.

“sticks and stones can break our bones but names will never hurt us.”

The Proverb we’ve learnt since kindy ... It’s a ready come back when you are being teased and you can’t think of anything better to say.

But does the Bible agree?

Could this contemporary proverb be included in the biblical book of Proverbs without any inconsistency?

Our theme from the book of Proverbs today is Wisdom and Words. What does the book of Proverbs have to say about words? Is there a way to be wise in our use of words?

Right from the start the book tells us that it is a collection of words given to instruct.

Help the simple/young gain wisdomHelp the wise to continue in wisdom.

It calls for an appropriate response – to study and heed the instruction, a challenge to be wise.

If we were to read through the whole book and highlight all the passages which referred to the use of words or lips or speech or tongue (etc) then we would find that there are a large number of verses given to instruction on the wise and foolish use of words and the consequences of doing so – I counted about 170 verses dealing with the topic of wisdom and words.

So let’s take a bit of a flick through Proverbs and get an idea of what these 170 odd verses dealing with wisdom and words have to say.

Words that HURT

Proverbs tells us that WORDS HAVE POWER ...and this might be a little extreme in your thinking

18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death

How can this be? How can invisible, weightless words possess power? Listen to a few more

12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

25:15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Proverbs seems very clear here – words have power and they penetrate to the souls. And words can HURT or HEAL

As we read through the New Testament there are repeated calls for God’s people to guard our tongues.

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

If you reckon that you are a godly person, living the life that God’s people are called to live and yet you are not careful with your words or you are not aware of the dangers of the tongue then you are not as godly as you imagine yourself to be.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Feel the power of Proverbs12:18 ... words have the power to wound.. inflict a lot of HURT ... power to do damage .. pierce through like a sword .. Y’see, once it’s said you can’t take it back. When you pull out the sword and the wound is still there .. and if they survive, the scar is there .. and note these are slashing words careless ... harsh ... reckless words and promises ... they set up disappointment / set up expectations that can never be taken away destroys your credibility .. you can’t put the banana back in its skin once you've peeled it ...

If we’re not thinking about what we say we can make promises that we can’t keep .. or simply forget to keep “We must catch up for coffee” ... “I’ll give you a hand tomorrow” or sometimes it’s rash criticism .. cutting remarks ... and that will sour relationships ... 18:21 the tongue / words .. can kill

Now they can physical kill people .. words can bring people to murder and suicide ... words have started wars ... AND Psychologically we can kill people ... some have been scarred by those names .. “stupid” .. “dumb” .. if we are told that you are no good ... “You’ll never amount to anything” .. they are toxic words that keep polluting .. affecting us ... the way you see others .. way we see ourselves .. a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words .... can destroy my soul

What is done TO you is nothing like what is done IN you ... words get IN you .. pierce like a sword

Words also have the power to destroy community 16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends..

AND

“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

(; ; NIV)

Gossip, slander lies ..they HURT DEEPLY .. destroy a relationship .. reality gets distorted and then barriers are put up

Now we know that God HATES lies .. Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord ... it’s only true and sincere honest words that bind us together in community ... true words make love and trust and intimacy possible

Otherwise we are just faking it

And speaking the lies is only half the problem ... listening to lies and gossip is also going to erode our friendships ..

An evildoer listens to wicked lips and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue ..

This is a tough one isn’t it .. coz we’d all agree that gossip is a delicious morsel .. we have to admit it .. we love gossip ... the magazine industry makes billions .. there’s a large readership salivating for the next instalment .. ruining people is considered sport .. just look at the way politicians work at smear campaigns

But we have to name for what it is ... garbage collecting .. we have to be careful what we are listening to .. and what we pass on .. and the discipline/wisdom of keeping our mouth shut AND .. even harder .. to break that gossip chain .. to say ... “Friend I think you need to talk to the person your talking about .. lets go and discuss it”

We want our homes .. our churches to be SAFE places where people come .. so we fight against the temptations to put others down behind their back ..

What you PERMIT .. you PROMOTE .. lets keep promoting godliness and nip lies and gossip in the bud

So ... what do you do with the negative feelings ... the pain and hurt ..we want to be honest and sincere ..NB “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.”

( NIV)

Talking to God about it is always the best start .. maybe talk it out with a mature trusted friend .. try and understand what the issues really are .. get the perspective right .. what’s really going on in us ... or how do we respond to those who do criticise or challenge us? How do we use the power of speech POSITIVELY

10:21 The lips of the righteous nourish many,

10:11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,

And of course as we live life we want to be true disciples of Jesus who use our tongues well

Words that HEAL

There’s no doubt that an HONEST word ... being TRUTHFUL and not DECEPTIVE is the way of WISDOM .. honesty builds solid foundations in any relationship .. building TRUST as we said earlier, is dependent on speaking the truth

“My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.”

( NIV)

“A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies.”

( NIV)

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

( NIV)

“Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

(; NIV)

Now I’m sure we all want to be people that BUILD others up .. that means being careful about what you say and how you say it? The famous guideline in NT ... speak the truth in love

As spouses talking things out .. we need to be open and honest .. not defensive .. we can’t always think alike and so we have to work our way prayerfully through things

And we’ve all had different ways we’ve communicated in our families .. for some everything is out there in the open and talked about ... others things are more hinted at .. y’know .. take the clues .. join the dots and you’ll get the message ... so life is a little like this .. She says “I didn’t know you felt like this” ... Hubby “Well I’ve told you heaps of times .. she was suppose to pick up the little hints ... Y’see he didn’t tell her ... he didn’t find her lips .. not really communication ... not apt

It’s hard too

In dealing with our kids we need to be honest .. gets tricky though sometimes somethings they need to be protected from .. good deal of wisdom to guide their path

With work .. the boss .. school friends .. honestly expressing things might well be a challenge

Proverbs has some really helpful things to say about the HOW of speaking

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.”

(; NIV)

Wow .. a GENTLE word calls for great CONTROL ... and we are not talking about some whoosy mealy mouthed words .. mamby pamby wimpy words ... coz they wouldn’t break bones! nor turn away a raging angry person who’s hardened in their own way

Jesus is the classic example of one who uses WISE and GENTLE words .. remember ... woman caught in adultery .. and Jesus knows it’s an evil trap set to catch Him .. so here are the scribes and pharisees dragging this disgraced wicked immoral law breaker .. stirring up the crowds who were gathering large stones because they knew the penalty for adultery ..and throwing this woman in front of the godly rabbi is going to be a death sentence

What will this Son of God do?

Remember His words .. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone!”

How disarming was that .. they throw their stones down one by one until it’s just Jesus and the woman ..

Y’see Jesus could have let loose on these hypocrites .. “You bunch of losers .. you snakes .. dogs .. who scheme and connive to do evil .. etc etc .. His speech is not motivated to put them in their place ... give them a piece of His mind .. no

He diffused the situation ... showed grace .. and forgiveness and spoke with bone breaking clarity

What can we learn from that? We said earlier that we can’t CONCEAL a matter .. and sometimes we might have to go and talk to someone AFTER we’ve prayed and talked it over with someone .. maybe had a chat to the minister

It’s HONEST but GENTLE words that are needed .. GRACIOUS words that have to be said .. gentle is so often PERSUASIVE ... speaking kindly .. not putting the other person down or in their place .. not belittling them .. and said in such a way that the person we are speaking with knows it is hard for us to say these things but because we value a relationship and want to honour God, you want to say them

There is WISDOM and MATURITY ... healing words

Now the other thing that Jesus is teaching .. and Proverbs commends too .. is that while words need to be HONEST ... GENTLE .. they need to be APT or FITTING

“A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!”

( NIV)

“The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.”

( NIV)

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”

( NIV)

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”

(; NIV)

Choosing words to fit the sensitivities of the situation of the listener is important ... knowing how to respond in the situation .. what is needed .. will bring power to the conversation ... it will hit the mark .. it will be the kiss on the lips .. the way Jesus handled the woman in ... and the way He spoke to the pharisees was what was needed in that situation