Who is my family?

How often have you been in a situation where you’ve just met someone new and they ask, “So what do you do to keep yourself busy?” In one short sentence, we are compelled to examine ourselves and ask, “what answer do I give?” I’ve had people tell me that they’re not comfortable meeting new people because this question will surely arise. These type of questions have us asking ourselves the huge identity question, “Who am I?”

When you introduce yourself

Ancient and modern traditional cultures believed that strong feelings and self-interest should be suppressed for the sake of fulfilling their duties to their tribe, village and family.

Well three years later

Three years later, my family and me went to Samoa for the first time. I knew that I was going to meet my half-brother Nonu. My brother and I discussed it as teens and we just weren’t sure as to how it would turn out. By the end of our six week stay in Samoa, my brother and I had a blast and we enjoyed Nonu’s company. But we never discussed how we felt about the situation.

When I 21 years old I traveled to Melbourne and visited a Samoan church. It is typical that when I met the elder folks, they would not ask about me, but they would ask who my parents are, and what village they come from. I know very well how to answer this question and my answer will determine how they will treat me.

Christianity introduced a huge paradigm shift teaching that tribes, villages and family does not have absolute control. And that emotions and feelings should be examined and put in allegiance with Christ.

My dad had bought a video camera way back then and I was responsible for most of the filming. Upon returning home, I viewed the footage from the airport. There I noticed Nonu constantly isolating himself. I noticed Nonu in the background in the crowd, crying to himself in the corner and then again he looked confused as my family and me walked through the departures. I never shared this observation with my family, but it was the first time I tried considering life from his point of view. I suddenly realised that my mother would cry in painful prayers in her room. I recalled how upset she would get when my brother and I would fight. I realised that my anger was only part of a much smaller picture and it was the first stage of realising that my anger needed to go.

The modern mindset has reversed the ancient approach. Our identity is now not discovered by outside determining factors (your role and duty in the community). But it is discovered by exploring your desires and dreams on the inside.

Fast forward many years. He moved to Sydney, my brother had a family and I was 21. My parents and I drove from Brisbane to Sydney and we spent the long Easter weekend with Him. This was the first time I got to sit down with him and share my thoughts and feelings about the situation. When it was time to leave, I felt a different sense of warmth resonating between all of us. My parents told me later on that mum had explained her side of the story to Nonu and that he had lived his whole life thinking that mum didn’t want him, it was far from the truth. She thought about him everyday of her life. Nonu sensed a freedom that day, and since that day. We often try to get together on New Year’s to celebrate. Our kids all love each other, and we’ve chosen to be family.

This understanding puts an onus on each one of us to value ourselves. Our identity can only be discovered by fully expressing our desires and fulfilling our dreams regardless of what the community says. We believe we must “be ourselves.” To be a hero in today’s society, you must stand-up and stand-out by being true to yourself. Despite what the community thinks.

There’s something terribly flawed about this thinking. It suggests that we have some intrinsic ability to find “self” without outside influence.

The modern person is often advised to not care about what others think and just love yourself. But this can end up in an infinite loop of vanity or self-pity.

We don’t have the ability to measure self-worth and it has to be bestowed upon us by outside factors. Such as our family and our community.

How do I know what I want? What if the college I want to go to risks my relationship here? This suggestion assumes that we know how to determine these factors and because our deepest desires are nearly always in conflict. It is unstable and incoherent.

The bible teaches that we are are inherently valuable (just because we’re human) and contingently valuable (because we are totally dependent on God) because we are made in His image. ()

shows us that following Jesus is about standing out, but it’s also about submitting to God and family. tells us how to do this.

Jesus wasn’t trying to provoke the Pharisees. Jesus could have privately healed the man when the crowd had disappeared, however he uses this opportunity to publicly demonstrate that the Sabbath is a time for healing. What is more important? Their understanding of the rules, or restoring people?

The NIV Application Commentary: Mark Bridging Contexts

For Jews in the time of Jesus, the Sabbath was more than just a matter of obedience to rules. Sabbath observance was regarded as a way to honor the holiness of Yahweh (Ex. 20:8–11; Deut. 5:12–15). It also marked the joyful entry into sacred time, the time of the beginning before human work. The Sabbath “was a sanctuary in time.” It was also regarded as a sign of Israel’s sanctification among all the nations. Its observance made Israel distinct as a nation, bolstered Jewish identity over against others, and served as a bulwark against assimilation to pagan culture.31 For Jews in the Diaspora, keeping the Sabbath was a profession of faith, a national identity marker.

Are Seventh-day Adventists vulnerable to identifying family, based on a “national identity marker?” Is that a good/bad thing?

In we read about masses of people coming from Judea and Jerusalem, but in this text we see them coming from all over Israel!

The throng of people come because of what they have heard “he does”

The crowd in this passage exercise a pragmatic faith. This ideology is most popular in our Western world. If it works, then it must be good. I keep the Sabbath, I find peace. I don’t steal, people like me. I don’t commit adultery and we have a lovely marriage.

Pragmatism is a huge reason for people finding faith in Jesus. We all have a selfish reason to follow Jesus. We want a more peaceful life. We want heaven. We’ve heard “he does” these things. And because we’re individualistically focused. This could be our primary purpose to come to Jesus.

The people mentioned in this passage are so desperate that they don’t want to wait for Jesus to touch them, but they throw themselves at him and on him. It’s no wonder why Jesus needs to send out the twelve. They have heard, but they don’t know what the disciples and the demons know.

Why am I here this morning?

The scene shifts from the sea to the mountain. And the crowd has now dwindled down to only a few. And with this number Jesus calls those who he wanted, and twelve responded.

A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Gospel according to St Mark Appointment of the Twelve

ἐποίησε δώδεκα—he appointed twelve. This use of the verb comes under the head of making one something,—king or priest, for instance. Only here, that to which they were appointed is expressed, not as an office, but as the purpose of the appointment. This purpose is expressed under two heads, the first being association with himself, and the second, to act as his messengers in the work of proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and of healing the sick. Apparently, the former was the only one fully carried out during our Lord’s life, the second becoming their work when they were made necessarily independent of him by his death. And in accordance with this, the name generally given in the Gospels is disciples, and afterward, in the Acts and Epistles, they are called apostles.

This group is different from the large crowd. This group draws close to Jesus to learn from him and to be trained by Him to duplicate what He does. They have witnessed what Jesus does, and they wish to do the same. They have accepted to take on the same mission and purpose that Jesus Christ has demonstrated.

They’re not there because of what he does, but because of who He is.

Discipleship is a call to do as Jesus does. This compels the individual to look outside of themselves. Discipleship seeks mentoring, and look to lead and mentor others.

They return to go home but a crowd gathers again. Not giving the disciples a chance to eat.

There's a tension in this phrase here as to whether it speaks of friends or family. If they are friends then, we are just introduced to these characters in this particular verse. However, it if it’s family, then it is introducing the clincher in verses 31-35.

3:21 ἀκούσαντες οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ (when his friends heard) {A}

The original reading οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ (“his friends” or “his relatives”) apparently proved to be so embarrassing that it was changed in several manuscripts to read “When the scribes and the others had heard about him, they went out to seize him, for they said, ‘He is beside himself.’ ” (Regarding the meaning of the words οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ, see the discussion by France, The Gospel of Mark, p. 166.)

Roger L. Omanson and Bruce Manning Metzger, A Textual Guide to the Greek New Testament: An Adaptation of Bruce M. Metzger’s Textual Commentary for the Needs of Translators (Stuttgart: Deutsche Bibelgesellschaft, 2006), 67.

A Critical and Exegetical Commentary on the Gospel according to St Mark Charge of Diabolism

21. οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ—his family. v. 31, which is evidently a resumption of this part of the narrative, says his mother and his brothers. Literally, this phrase would denote those descended from him, but it has come to have this modification of its strict meaning. Κρατῆσαι—to lay hold of him, to get possession of him. They wanted to protect Jesus against his own madness. For they said that he is beside himself, ἐξέστη. ἀκούσαντες has for its object the preceding statement. Jesus’ permitting the multitude to gather about him in this tumultuous way and to engross him so entirely, seemed to them an unwarranted absorption in an entirely visionary work. This absence of prudence and of care of himself seemed to them misplaced.

The family seizing Jesus wasn’t out of hostility or anger but more of concern and protecting Jesus.

Some of you here have experienced what it means to accept a faith that is contrary to family. They think you’ve lost your marbles. Everybody know that the height of humanism is at it’s peak. We can now live moral lives without the guidance of some book with fancy myths and fairy tales. Most Australian families are tolerating, but they still think you’ve gone nuts. Good for you! God is good!

Our family and friends want the best for us, we should do likewise.

Sokha loves her family. They were concerned at first, until we heard that her Dad was baptised into the church once upon a time.

But I encourage you.

Verses 22-28 - The Scribes accuse Jesus of blasphemy and he rebukes them with a parable. I wish I had time to explain this parable but ultimately Jesus is rebuking them for their false accusation and that they are actually blaspheming. Jesus also in one swoop reinforces His mission and purpose as the Messiah.

This exchange may come across rude to the western thinking but we had already been introduced to what was happening in verse 21. Not only did the family call for Jesus but the crowd supported the family by saying, “your family is calling after you.”

Mark makes sure to indicate the geography once again. Sea, mountain and now we have those who are outside and those gathered around Jesus.

Unfortunately there is every likelihood that family and friends will not have the same convictions that you have arrived at. One of my biggest frustrations that I’ve had to learn to cope with are kids wanting to know Jesus but parents not being on the same page. Christ’s call to discipleship is not an easy one.

3:21 ἀκούσαντες οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ (when his friends heard) {A}

We can see that the great crowd dwindled down, a few, then twelve and then the prescribed formula as to what it means to be a part of God’s family.

The original reading οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ (“his friends” or “his relatives”) apparently proved to be so embarrassing that it was changed in several manuscripts to read “When the scribes and the others had heard about him, they went out to seize him, for they said, ‘He is beside himself.’ ” (Regarding the meaning of the words οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ, see the discussion by France, The Gospel of Mark, p. 166.)

The twelve disciples are like the the crowd that sits around Jesus. Similar to the 12 tribes that lived around the sanctuary. And also points to the 144000 in Revelation that follows the lamb where He goes.

The words spoken by Jesus echo of those that keep the commandments of God and the testimony of Jesus. And again in “those that keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus.”

Roger L. Omanson and Bruce Manning Metzger, A Textual Guide to the Greek New Testament: An Adaptation of Bruce M. Metzger’s Textual Commentary for the Needs of Translators (Stuttgart: Deutsche Bibelgesellschaft, 2006), 67.

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), .

Denying ourselves daily? That goes against the grain of expressive individualism doesn’t it?

Carrying my own cross? How does this benefit the rest of the community? Shouldn’t I carry the cross of others though?

When we look to the cross and see what Jesus did in order for us to understand or mission and purpose. We find our identity and we find our family.

Talk about Dad and Mum being disowned.

Further Reading: Desire of Ages chapter 33. “Who is my brethren?”

With their short measuring line they could not fathom the mission which He came to fulfill, and therefore could not sympathize with Him in His trials. Their coarse, unappreciative words showed that they had no true perception of His character, and did not discern that the divine blended with the human. They often saw Him full of grief; but instead of comforting Him, their spirit and words only wounded His heart. His sensitive nature was tortured, His motives were misunderstood, His work was uncomprehended.

3:21 ἀκούσαντες οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ (when his friends heard) {A}

His brothers often brought forward the philosophy of the Pharisees, which was threadbare and hoary with age, and presumed to think that they could teach Him who understood all truth, and comprehended all mysteries. They freely condemned that which they could not understand. Their reproaches probed Him to the quick, and His soul was wearied and distressed. They avowed faith in God, and thought they were vindicating God, when God was with them in the flesh, and they knew Him not.

These things made His path a thorny one to travel. So pained was Christ by the misapprehension in His own home that it was a relief to Him to go where it did not exist. There was one home that He loved to visit,—the home of Lazarus, and Mary, and Martha; for in the atmosphere of faith and love His spirit had rest. Yet there were none on earth who could comprehend His divine mission, or know the burden which He bore in behalf of humanity. Often He could find relief only in being alone, and communing with His heavenly Father. [327]

The original reading οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ (“his friends” or “his relatives”) apparently proved to be so embarrassing that it was changed in several manuscripts to read “When the scribes and the others had heard about him, they went out to seize him, for they said, ‘He is beside himself.’ ” (Regarding the meaning of the words οἱ παρʼ αὐτοῦ, see the discussion by France, The Gospel of Mark, p. 166.)

Those who are called to suffer for Christ's sake, who have to endure misapprehension and distrust, even in their own home, may find comfort in the thought that Jesus has endured the same. He is moved with compassion for them. He bids them find companionship in Him, and relief where He found it, in communion with the Father.

Those who accept Christ as their personal Saviour are not left as orphans, to bear the trials of life alone. He receives them as members of the heavenly family; He bids them call His Father their Father. They are His "little ones," dear to the heart of God, bound to Him by the most tender and abiding ties. He has toward them an exceeding tenderness, as far surpassing what our father or mother has felt toward us in our helplessness as the divine is above the human.

Of Christ's relation to His people, there is a beautiful illustration in the laws given to Israel. When through poverty a Hebrew had been forced to part with his patrimony, and to sell himself as a bondservant, the duty of redeeming him and his inheritance fell to the one who was nearest of kin. See , ; . So the work of redeeming us and our inheritance, lost through sin, fell upon Him who is "near of kin" unto us. It was to redeem us that He became our kinsman. Closer than father, mother, brother, friend, or lover is the Lord our Saviour. "Fear not," He says, "for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art Mine." "Since thou wast precious in My sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life." , .

Roger L. Omanson and Bruce Manning Metzger, A Textual Guide to the Greek New Testament: An Adaptation of Bruce M. Metzger’s Textual Commentary for the Needs of Translators (Stuttgart: Deutsche Bibelgesellschaft, 2006), 67.

Of Christ's relation to His people, there is a beautiful illustration in the laws given to Israel. When through poverty a Hebrew had been forced to part with his patrimony, and to sell himself as a bondservant, the duty of redeeming him and his inheritance fell to the one who was nearest of kin. See , ; . So the work of redeeming us and our inheritance, lost through sin, fell upon Him who is "near of kin" unto us. It was to redeem us that He became our kinsman. Closer than father, mother, brother, friend, or lover is the Lord our Saviour. "Fear not," He says, "for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art Mine." "Since thou wast precious in My sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life." , .

Christ loves the heavenly beings that surround His throne; but what shall account for the great love wherewith He has loved us? We cannot understand it, but we can know it true in our own experience. And if we do hold the relation of kinship to Him, with what tenderness should we regard those who are brethren and sisters of our Lord! Should we not be quick to recognize the claims of our divine relationship? Adopted into the family of God, should we not honor our Father and our kindred?

Who is my family?

Family Ties

More opposition

The Massive Crowd

- Making the Twelve

Family of Friends?

- Who is my Family?

Takeaway Point