Dealing With Difficult People

Title- Dealing With Difficult People

Passage-

Attention-

Have you ever dealt with someone who drove you nuts?!?!

Silly question, right?

We all have that person or those people in our lives that know just what to say or do to drive us crazy. This weeks sermon is “Dealing With Difficult People” and will look at truths for dealing with troublesome people.

Introduction

Maybe it someone at work, like it was for me

There was a way to do things…that made work easier

They did the opposite

Then would look at you and smile

Like, “Ha, how do you like that”…”What are you gonna do about it”

He would say the most ridiculous things and make the most outrageous claims

And come up with the most harebrained ideas

He would drive me absolutely nuts

We all have or have had someone like this in our lives

If you haven’t just wait

What is the problem when people like this drive us crazy?

It’s because they are annoying right?

Or because they need a shrink?

What is the main driving point (CPS)?

Friends, when we face difficult people we must do so on the basis of Biblical truth.

When individuals like this get under our skin and drive us nut it often due to us not responding biblically

Why does the CPS matter, what is the consequence?

Not responding in biblical truth can often result in selfishness and sin on our part

We fail to see the truth of the situation because our vision is blocked by our own self

Transition

In this passage we see several truths about difficult people

Read 1-4

The first truth is that…

I. Difficult people tempt us to make bad decisions (1-4)

Explain

Here there seems, like a few weeks ago, the opportunity that David has been looking for to bring safety to himself.

So, Saul is chasing David with the intent to kill him

David hides in a cave with his men

Saul comes into the cave alone

What better opportunity to fix the problem…right?

His enemy, all alone and outnumbered

This is like manna from heaven!!!!

This is just what he has been waiting for

I am afraid that many of us would see this and say, this is the Lord’s will

Unfortunately we would do so because it is easier and more efficient

David could have justified killing Saul

He was anointed to be the next king

Saul was disobedient

It was self defense

I suppose these things could have come to David’s mind

But it was what was in his heart that mattered

What was in David’s heart?

Bridge to today

What looks right isn’t always so…

It’s a bit like the saying…theres no such thing as a free lunch

Theres a catch

When opportunities come we must have the discernment to know what is truth and what is not.

God and His word are truth

The world and our desires are not

We need to see each opportunity through the lens of Scripture

Relevance

This could show up in a number of areas

-A job offer…

A relationship

Ministry opportunities

Retaliatory opportunities

The list could go on and on

We are faced with opportunities a lot

If we are not seeing those opportunities through the lens of God’s Word we are running the risk of making poor decisions or even sinning

Why does this matter?

David could have justified killing Saul

The truth is that regardless the justification he would have had to face the consequences

When we stand before the Lord and give an account for our lives we better be prepared to stand on truth

This is especially critical when it comes to our eternal destiny

How we respond in relationships is important

How we respond to God in light of our sin is essential

That is the most important relationship that needs to be made right and be based on the truths of the word of God.

The truth that we are all sinners

That Jesus dies to make a sacrifice for our sins so we could exchange our sin for his righteousness

If you are here and never did that do it today

Transition

Let’s continue reading

Read 5-15

Not only do difficult people tempt us, secondly….

II. Difficult people give us opportunity to stand for truth (5-15)

Explain

David is presented with a choice

This choice was where he was going to place his faith

In the Lord and His Word

Or in himself

David is facing a situation that I would go out on a limb to say none of us have ever faced before and probably never will

Someone is chasing him around the wilderness hunting him like an animal

David is facing pressures like I believe we never have and probably never will

The men that are with David are his responsibility

They see this is the opportunity of a lifetime

They urge him to end it all

Verse 4 they more or less say that God has handed Saul over to him

Could you imagine the pressure

The thought of freedom from the running

The fear of how these men might react if he doesn’t

What happens if I don’t thane this opportunity?

Will I get another opportunity?

How does David respond?

He speaks truth to himself and then to those with him

Verse 5, after he cuts Saul’s robe his heart smote him

The truth of God’s word troubled him

In his heart he knew that even cutting Saul’s robe was wrong

He was convicted in his heart about cutting Saul’s robe

Then he spoke to the men with him

Verse 6…it is not our place to take the life of the one the Lord puts in authority

Bridge to today

Maybe that porcupine person is not an authority

Maybe they are

It doesn’t matter…we saw a couple weeks ago that vengeance is not ours

This includes our words as well as our actions

Our one responsibility is to respond in truth

In this situation the truth was that David had no right taking Saul’s life

Relevance

Again, it may not be an authority figure

It may be someone you are in authority over

Maybe it is your spouse

Your child

Coworker

Neighbor

Regardless who it is that rubs you the wrong way you have one responsibility

Respond in truth

Why does this matter?

The Bible is clear on how we are to respond to people

Jesus raises the bar from not hating them to praying for them

…this ought to clear up all verbal issues in our relationships

-Speak 1st, the truth and 2nd, in love

We are to be honest and compassionate in our responses

…when all else fails let love cover it

But you don’t understand

No, I may not

But Jesus does

He is giving the command

Those that hated him and falsely accused him

They beat and tortured him

They nailed him to a cross and murdered him

How did he respond?

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”

So that person called you a name or offended you

So they didn’t live up to your expectations

Bring it to the cross

“ Casting thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee”

It’s not about what you can do to remedy the situation

It is about what the Lord can do in your life because of the circumstances

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God”

Not all things work out my way

Or the easiest way

But the best way

Our example, Jesus Christ, went the way of truth…the way of the cross

It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t in his best interests physically

But it was what was best for all

We need to stop focusing on what is best for us and start focusing on what is best period.

Transition

Let’s finish reading verses 16-22

Lastly….

III. Difficult people develop our confidence (16-22)

Explain

Verses 16-21 Saul is going to try puffing David up with flattery…he gets caught up in his emotions

Saul seems to be making an emotional response here

David is not

In verse 22 there are a few short words.

“And David swore unto Saul.”

That’s it…then “Saul went home”

No, justifications or explanations

No pleadings and dealings

Just a man and his word

The difference between these two men is that Saul’s words are the word’s of Saul

David’s words are based on the truths of God’s words

Now Saul sounds pretty convincing here and if this was the end of the story we would be left with the idea that Saul was

Notice Saul’s response in verse 16…”And Saul lifted up his voice, and wept”

Just as an aside…emotional responses do not necessarily represent change

There have been many emotional pleas made at altars and counseling sessions across this globe across the centuries

There have been many that were genuine and many that were not

Don’t rely on emotions

…This is the man that wept before David

But if we go back to notice what is not there

We see Saul almost thanking David for sparing him in verse 17-18

And that the Lord should bless David in verse 18-19

Saul admits that David will be the next king in verse 20

And asks David to swear not to kill him or his family in verse 21

No where does he swear not to kill David

I wonder if verse 16-21 were just a show

A political stunt

Like the candidates that go around kissing babies

Bridge to today

In contrast, David faced temptation to take matters into his own hands but chose to stand for truth

Because he determined to stand for truth he can now stand with confidence

The only absolutes we haven this world are the words of God

We are told death and taxes but those aren’t even absolutes

Only God’s word is absolute

Relevance

We try to rely on so many other inferior ideas and wonder why life is so difficult

It is because when we do it our way we are rejecting the one who created us and this world

We are rejecting the one who is in control

We are rejecting the one with the plan

With the power

With the authority

Why does this matter?

This is a more important truth than just in this physical life

There is a life to come

2 These. 1:7-12

There is a coming judgment

There is a coming time of accounting

If we are not standing on the truths of God’s Word we are standing on nothing

The only way to have a right standing before God is by accepting the truth that Jesus Christ died and rose again for your sins.

Anything that is done in your power is not enough, the truth is that it is by the blood sacrifice of Jesus we are made in right standing before God

Nothing else

Conclusion

Review of the Principles and the Sermon Proposition

Dealing with difficult people is, for lack of a better phrase…difficult

But!!! We must always remember who we represent

That ultimately God will deal with that person

Challenge to act now (your part)…immanence

But God will deal with each and every one of us

If you haven’t asked Jesus to forgive you of your sins you must do that or face eternal punishment

Visualize Audience Implementation

If you have, respond like it

Recognize temptation

Respond in truth

Rest in the confidence of God’s Word

Final Statement

David had been giving Saul much mercy

He could have said, Enough is enough…but he didn’t

He chose to trust God

Who are you trusting today

Would you bow your heads and close your eyes with me?

Closing Hymn

334 Jesus I Come