Funeral - Phillip Rieman

Challenging Life

I asked Julia a few days ago about how she met Phillip. With a grin she responded, “He challenged my table.”

While Julia was still at OSU, she was at the pool tables one night and was having a good run. As other pool players tried to unseat her, Julia proved her prowess with the cue ball. Then, Phillip came up, put the coins down, and challenged Julia to a game that would forever change their lives.

While Julia couldn’t remember who actually won the game, she certainly remembered Phillip.

You know, I never had the privilege of meeting Phillip, but after getting to know his family over these last few days I wish I had. The story of how he met Julia seems to fit in with who he was. He met his bride of 33 years through a challenge at the table. And, from what I have gotten to know of him, he didn’t just challenge the pool table, he challenged life itself… and continued to challenge life even as health problems began to weigh on him these last years.

As he challenged life, he did so with a great strength. For many years, a great physical strength… but in these last years he especially proved his strength of heart and mind as he battled cancer.

Bed Change Gone Wrong

I think that strength of character likely came through most in his humor. He had an earthy, farmer humor to him that was unique. Julia and Amy shared a story with me that occurred in some of Phillip’s last days.

Things had become increasingly difficult. Phillip was bed bound to the point that he needed to stay in the bed as the sheets were being changed. Now, the hospice nurse gave Amy and Julia instructions on how to efficiently change everything for Phillip while keeping him relatively comfortable.

And, while it seemed easy enough as the Hospice Nurse performed the task. Amy and Julia learned later that the task was not as easy it looked. And as they struggled over and over to reposition Phillip and get everything lined up one of them exclaimed in frustration, “We don’t know what we’re doing!”

To which Phillip responded, without missing a beat, “That’s the one thing that I’m sure of!”

And, in that moment, all of the anxiety washed away as the three of them burst out into laughter together. Tears of frustration turned to fits of joy. It reminds me of our text from Ecclesiastes today, “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them…” and the list goes on.

Ecclesiastes Interpretation 1

If you asked a Rabbi about the book of Ecclesiastes, you’d likely hear one of two interpretations. The first interpretation would be that these eight verses speak to the full human experience—and that life holds the potential for both tremendous mountain top experiences… as well as deep valleys of sorrow.

After we lose someone we care for and love deeply there are indeed times both of weeping and of laughter… sometimes combinations of those. Weeping for those moments that we feel that emptiness and loss of that which you once had. But also laughter as you remember the fullness that that person brought to your life. Laughter as the good moments that you shared wash over you.

Ecclesiastes Interpretation 2

The second interpretation that you might hear from a Rabbi is based on who these words were originally written by. A Hebrew King, actually. King Qoheleth. Now, I don’t think he comes up often in funeral sermons… but I think in this particular case it might be fitting.

The wisdom in Ecclesiastes reminds me of that late night thinking that we perhaps sometime do as we consider what the purpose of life really is… why are we here… what is life after death… all of those questions.

For King Qoheleth in these late night musings, he was not writing from a place of comfort to know that there was a time for all things but rather he felt constrained by time. There was so much to try to do in life… so many things to try to accomplish. He didn’t have time to deal with being sick or one day facing death. And for King Qoheleth, he was fearful that in his limited time on earth that he would not accomplish all that he hoped to. To him, time was a limiting factor… something that was precious but flowing all too quickly.

Just like King Qoheleth, Phillip wanted to live. To say otherwise would be a disservice to the man who fought cancer tooth and nail. After a series of heavy treatments this last fall and winter, Phillip was frustrated that his body needed time to recover before he could take on further chemotherapy or radiation. The words that he spoke were strong, again showing his character, “Let’s do something.” He wasn’t ready to just sit by and let the cancer have its day. Phillip was ready to challenge it and take the cancer by the horns as he had done with so many other things in life.

Promise of New Life

At the end of the day, it was said of Phillip that he did not lose to the cancer… but at best cancer could call it a draw because it died with him.

And, while tears may stream that our loved one has died, we, unlike the Old Testament King Qoheleth, know the promise of something beyond this life through the work of Christ on the cross.

Because of Christ crucified, Phillip has the promise of a life that will no longer deal with radiation or chemotherapy treatments.

Because of Christ risen from the dead, Phillip has the promise of a life that no longer needs to be distracted by sickness and heartache.

Because Christ sits at the right hand of God, Phillip no longer needs to be troubled by any sins that he committed… and instead may know the pure and total grace that the Son of God provided for all of creation.

Because of Christ… Phillip no longer needs to feel constrained by time, but can instead enjoy life without end. And, I suspect, he has access to all of the Chocolate Chip and Pecan cookies that he wants.

As Phillip experienced extraordinary love in this life, so too does he experience love beyond all measure within God’s Kingdom now.

Question for Us

The question that remains is for us is… what do we do after the one who we cared for and loved for so much has died? How do we carry on in life?

A wise person once said that we have two options when we lose someone that we loved deeply. We can focus on ourselves, on our own grief and sorrow, on the brokenness that we feel and the incredible loss that we have experienced. Or, we can live in a way that would make the one we loved proud. We can be inspired by the strength of those who have gone on ahead of us and work to make the most of our own precious time here in this life.

Whichever path you take, whenever you take that path… remember that Christ died for your sake that you too may know the promise of new life. Hear the promise of the God who loved the world so much… that loved you so much, that he sent his only Son into the world so that whoever believes in him… even a mustard seed’s worth of belief, shall not perish, but have eternal life.