Memorial Service for Janeen Cook

Scripture Reading

Psalm 139 ESV

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. 1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me! 2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. 3 You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. 4 Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. 5 You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. 7 Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? 8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! 9 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, 10 even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” 12 even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. 13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you. 19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! 20 They speak against you with malicious intent; your enemies take your name in vain. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you? 22 I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Intro

Opening: We have come here today to celebrate the home-going of Janeen Cook. Janeen was born in Norfolk, VA, and she passed from this life on Tuesday, April 30. We are here to remember her life and her legacy. In this moment we are joyful because we know, based on Janeen’s confession of Faith, that she in a better place. She is in the arms of Jesus. No longer is she suffering from Cancer or diabetes or any other disease. She is now whole. For this, we are thankful, and joyful. But we are also sad today. We are sad because we will miss Janeen. We are sad because we wanted more time with her.

In moments like this we are reminded that all is not right with the world.

We are reminded that we live in a fallen, sinful world where we are all susceptible to disease, age and eventually death.

In moments like these we often have questions. Questions such as why? There is much about this that we do not understand.

Some time ago, I was thinking about these types of questions and I was reminded of my grandmother. She was a saint. When I was a child I would go to her house and spend the night from time to time. I remember coming by her room and seeing her praying early in the morning and late at night. As she prayed she would often weep. I got a picture in my mind from then on that people who are really praying often cry. But I also wonder - The Bible tells us that Jesus is praying for us right now. Could it be that he cries as well? I don’t know theological how all that plays out, but I do know scripture tells us that he is moved and touched by our troubles and our pain.

I think he sees us here at this moment, with all of our questions, and our sadness and I think he empathizes with us. He feels what we are facing.

This is the beauty of our faith - that we serve a God who feels our pain and our loss.

This afternoon we might not have all the answers - But we have a God who is present with us giving us comfort and peace.

Illustration: I remember a few years ago Janeen called me and wanted to come by the church and just talk. I remember being a bit nervous because I didn’t know if I would have any answers for her. It ended up that she came by and just talked and talked. I think I said about 4 words. I felt bad at first because I didn’t think I had helped her much, but then I realized that she didn’t need my answers she just needed my presence. Today, more than answers, we have the presence of Jesus.

Another question we often ask ourselves at moments such as this is - What makes a good life? This is the core of what I want to talk about this afternoon.

Many people spend their life in search of meaning

Many look for meaning in money and things - Only to come up empty

Transition to the Text: In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon, who is considered to be the wisest man who ever live, lays out an experiment for us. He wants to figure out what Makes a good life. What makes life worth living?

Many look for meaning in pleasure and fun - Only to come up empty

He tries wealth and asks if money makes a meaningful life

Many look for meaning in hard work and education - Only to come up empty

He tries romance and sex and asks if that makes a meaningful life

He tries to eduction and wisdom and asks if that makes a meaningful life

We look for meaning in all sorts of places, but many of us still feel as we’ve come up empty.

He tries hard work and asks if that makes a meaningful life

The words of Ecclesiastes ring true - “Meaningless, everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

He tries pleasure and indulgence and asks if that makes a meaningful life.

After searching in all of these places, he keeps coming up short. Something still alludes him. He says it’s all “meaningless, like a chasing after the wind.”

Ecclesiastes 12:13

He keeps asking and searching for - What makes life meaningful?

Transition to points: A few days ago, probably the last day that Janeen was up and coherent, my wife and I went to see her. Mike had commented to me that they had been married for 39 years. So my wife and I mentioned how incredible that was. We joked about how she was a 39yr survivor. Then, always, the teacher, Janeen said, “You know what makes a good relationship?” And as she listed off her list, I was struck by her wisdom. The list she gave, I don’t think it was simply the key to a good relationship, I think she gave advice for a meaningful life. I think these were principles that Janeen lived by.

So today, I want to briefly give you some advice from Janeen about what makes a meaningful life. For a moment, lets all move into Janeen’s classroom one last time and hear the lesson that I believe she wants to teach us. You see Janeen knew a secret. The secret was that life is about relationships or what I would call connections. When you get the relationships or the connections right, you have a meaningful and whole life.

Points

A meaningful life is one that is connected to God

Prayer is the means by which we connect with God.

The Christian life starts and is sustained by prayer.

The book of Psalms that we often turn to in moments like this, is really a book of worship and prayer.

Jesus modeled this and taught this. In we see that

Jesus taught

Prayer is really an exercise in trust. It’s admitting that we don’t have all the answers. That we don’t have it all together. That we need strength.

Psalm

Mark 1:35 ESV

35 And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.

David says in Psalm 34

If Jesus needed to spend time in prayer to connect with his father, how much more should we be people of prayer?

This was the first piece of advice Janeen gave - Pray.

This was the foundation for Janeen and it should be the foundation for us.

Prayer is our connection with God.

Our relationship with God is to be the foundation of everything else in our lives.

We find meaning when we are connected to our creator

You cannot be connected or be in right relationship with someone that you never really talk with or communicate with.

Solomon puts it this way -

Illustration: Those of you who are married in the room know that your marriage lives and dies on good communication. When someone shuts up and shuts down, things don’t go well. Likewise, if we want a relationship or a connection with God, we must talk to him and he must talk to us - we call this prayer.

Solomon gets to the end and he gives us a clue into what really matters - How we relate to God.

Janeen knew how to connect with God through prayer.

Janeen prayed. She prayed often. She prayed hard. She prayed for her kids and for her husband. She prayed for her students. She prayed.

Janeen’s prayer was that her entire family and those around her would know Jesus the way that she did.

She had a mother’s heart for her kids. She prayed for them and for her grandkids. I remember years ago when she was going through some difficulty with her kids she would always talk optimistically and say she was praying and that God had a plan.

I believe there were times in her life when prayer and her connection with God were what saw her through.

There were times I know that she wanted to give up - But she went to prayer.

There were times I know that she didn’t know what to do - In those moments, she want to prayer.

If Janeen where here today she would tell you that prayer is powerful and we should all be people of Prayer. That in the moments when life is dark and it’s hard to find a purpose, pray and connect with your creator to find meaning in the midst of the chaos.

Our relationship with God starts in prayer. It starts by confessing our sins and acknowledging that we need savior. Our relationship with God is sustained by prayer.

If Janeen where here today she would tell you that prayer is powerful and we should all be people of Prayer. That in the moments when life is dark and it’s hard to find a purpose, pray and connect with your creator to find meaning in the midst of the chaos.

A Meaningful life is one that is connected to others - There are two things she brought up and two things I want to point out this afternoon.

Love

Solomon tell us in the book of Ecclesiastes that, “two are better than one.”

Ecclesiastes 4:7–12 ESV

7 Again, I saw vanity under the sun: 8 one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business. 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

I think this shows us the importance of needing someone to love in our lives.

We all need family and friends

You and I were not created to live alone, we were created to love and be loved.

Research has shown that, in order to develop into fully mature human beings who can emotionally function, we need others. We need touch, we need affection, we need love.

Sometimes getting along with others is hard - This is especially true in our own families at times.

Illustration: My dad often uses the illustration of a group of porcupines. They are outside and it’s a cold night and they decide their going to huddle together to keep warm. But as they huddle together they begin to stick one another. The point is this: We need each other, but we needle each other.

You weren’t designed to be alone.

Janeen loved her family and they loved her.

Janeen loved the kids she taught at school, she loved the place she worked, she loved her friends and coworkers.

Janeen worked with kids who were difficult to love. She would often tell me stories of some of the hard cases that she had to deal with on a regular basis. She would always end by saying how much she loved those kids.

I often heard in her conversations with them directly and with others how much she loved and cherished her two kids, her grandchildren and her husband. She had such a gentle, patience, kind, and loving spirit to her - But she was no push-over.

Janeen was, perhaps, one of the most loving individuals I have ever met.

Janeen knew that her relationship with God (Prayer) was foundational, but she knew that she also needed to be in loving relationship with others.

Commitment

Again we can look to Jesus as our example. He was committed to doing the will of the father.

He was commited to you and to me.

In the garden of Gethsemane we can see Jesus’ commitment to us. As he agonizes about going to the cross he renews his commitment to do the will of God.

Matthew 26:38–39 ESV

38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

Hebrews 12:1–2 ESV

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Janeen was a women who knew about commitment

Janeen was a women who knew about commitment

Commitment is sticking with something even when it’s not easy.

She was married for 39 years

Any of us married in the room know that there are times when marriage is not easy.

Her marriage of 39 years I’m sure had it’s up and it’s downs, but she was committed to Mike and committed to her kids.

She

She taught in the public school system here in polk county for over 30 years

All the teachers in the room probably have those days when you want to go home and give up.

I’m sure Janeen had those days as well - But she didn’t give up. Because she was a woman of commitment.

Commitment means I’m sticking with this thing no matter what. I’m going to follow through.

She was committed to praying for her children and grandchildren every day

She was committed to being faithful to her husband

She knew difficulty - But the truth is your level of commitment is shown when commitment gets hard. This was a woman who stayed committed when life threw some tough stuff her way.

In an age where people move from marriage to marriage and job to job and place to place like they’re trying on a new pair of shoes, Janeen was model of steady commitment to her job, her family, and her savior.

A Meaningful life is found through Forgiveness

This was her last piece of advice - Forgive

The last thing Janeen said was key to a long relationship was forgiveness.

She kind of paused when she said this. She emphasized it.

She kind of paused when she said this. She emphasized it.

She said to her, this was the most important key.

She said that anything can be forgiven.

Illustration: There was a survey done in a magazine one time and they asked Americans what are the phrases they most needed or liked to hear. The top three were 1) I love you 2) I forgive you 3) Dinner’s ready.

To give and to receive forgiveness is one of our greatest needs.

We need forgiveness from God

tell us that

Romans 3:23 ESV

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Everyone of us in this room has broken the heart of God.

We need his grace and forgiveness to work in our lives

We cannot make things right with those around us until we have made things right with the God who created us.

We need to forgive ourselves

When people pass, we have the tendency to be hard on ourselves.

We think about the things we didn’t say or the things we shouldn’t have said or the things we didn’t do or shouldn’t have done.

We need to forgive ourselves

We need to forgive others

Un-forgiveness causes us to become bitter and angry

It’s like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die.

It’s only killing us.

Forgiveness makes relationships possible.

We are to freely forgive as we have been forgiven

In , Paul Reminds us that we are to,

If Janeen were here today she would encourage you not to hold a grudge. She would say - “Anything can be forgiven.” Don’t loose your life in un-forgiveness and bitterness.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

If Janeen were here today she would encourage you not to hold a grudge. She would say - “Anything can be forgiven.” Don’t loose your life in un-forgiveness and bitterness.

Conclusion

This is the final lesson I think our teacher Janeen would teach us - Find meaning in life by connecting with God, by connecting with others, and forgive as God has forgiven you. Living life like this each and every day, like Janeen did, will slowly transform you into something beautiful. It won’t mean that life isn’t difficult. It won’t mean that you won’t face problems, but it will mean that you can have meaning and purpose in spite of your trouble.

I think Janeen would want us to miss her a little. But I think she would also want us to walk out of this place rejoicing that she is free of her suffering and pain. I think she would want us to walk out of this place and live full lives - Lives that are connected to God, connected to others, and that give forgiveness and love to everyone we come in contact with.

Prayer