3 Allowances for Divorce and Remarriage
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1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
My typical response to the question: “ Is divorce a sin?” is: Divorce is not necessarily a sin, but it always involves sin. The question we should be asking is, “Is it my sin or my spouses that has led me to initiate this divorce?” For the Christian the answer to sin is always the same: Confession, Repentance and Reconciliation. Every Christian can do this for their sin, but they cannot do it for their spouse. That is why there are two allowances for divorce and remarriage in the Bible:
The Bible never says that an Overseer cannot have been divorced.
2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
“husband of one wife”
μιας γυναικος ανδρα
“of one wife husband” (mias =of one; gynikos = wife; anera= husband)
“of one wife husband” = mias gunikos anera
“of one wife husband” = mias gunikos anera
There are only three Biblical allowances for remarriage after a divorce.
1. When your spouse is guilty of sexual immorality and is unwilling to repent and live faithfully in the marriage.
1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
2. When your spouse is not a Christian and they willfully and permanently desert the marriage.
Roger and Marilyn Peterson are a lovely older couple that live in the Wabasha area. They began coming to our church about a year ago but stopped attending this past winter. The reason that they are no longer attending is that Marilyn is struggling with some mental health issues.
Roger and Marilyn Peterson are a lovely older couple that live in the Wabasha area. They began coming to our church about a year ago but stopped attending this past winter because Marilyn is struggling with some mental health issues. She seems to believe that certain people in their lives are against her and spreading lies about even though there is no evidence that this is the case.
A while back Roger noticed that Marilyn was exhibiting some very unusual behaviors toward some people in their lives. She seemed to think that they were mad at her and that they wanted to punish her for something that she did. She was never able to articulate the specifics of what they were angry about, just that these people felt this way – even though there was no evidence that anything like this was the case.
Roger and I have been in regular email contact and the Overseers have been faithfully praying for them. In addition, Roger put me in contact with his daughter and son in law who is a pastor in Michigan in order to collaborate the presence of the issue.
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Roger confided in me early on in their time with us that he was concerned that some of these kinds of feelings might start being directed at the people here at Friendship. Then many weeks later he let me know that indeed this is what had happened.
The reason that we are making you aware of this right now is that it has come to our attention that Marilyn has begun to write letters to people in the congregation where she has accused others of misdeeds of this nature. Roger was unaware that these letters were being sent out. Since these letters where to families of Overseers who were aware of the situation, they were able to respond with understanding and compassion. We felt the need to inform the rest of the partnership so that if you received a letter or had other contact with Marilyn, you could respond with understanding and compassion as well.
Please be in prayer for this dear brother and sister in the LORD and their family as they seek for answers to these things that Marilyn is struggling with. If you have any questions on the situation or how we are moving forward as a Church to help the family, then please come and talk to myself or one of the other Overseers.
So they stopped fellowshipping with us, but Roger and I have been in regular email contact and the Overseers have been faithfully praying for them. In addition, Roger put me in contact with his daughter and son in law who is a pastor in Michigan in order to collaborate the presence of the issue.
Another acce
“enslaved” meaning you can remarry again, you don’t have to spend the rest of your life chasing that person down to try and persuade them to stay with you. You can - but you don’t have to.
Thank you and God’s Best
The reason that we are making you aware of this right now is that it has come to our attention that Marilyn has begun to write letters to people in the congregation where she has accused others of misdeeds of this nature. Roger was unaware that these letters were being sent out. Since the first two letters where to families of Overseers who were aware of the situation, they were able to respond with understanding and compassion. We felt the need to inform the rest of the partnership so that if you received a letter or had other contact with Marilyn, you could respond with understanding and compassion as well.
Please be in prayer for this dear brother and sister in the LORD and their family as they seek for answers to these things that Marilyn is believing. If you have any questions on the situation or how we are moving forward as a Church to help the family, then please come and talk to myself or one of the other Overseers.
For what other sins do we hold against a man from before he was a believer? How can we disqualify someone from something that did before they had the power or even the reason not to do it!
Can an Overseer be divorced?
The Bible never says that an Overseer cannot have been divorced. All it does say is that we should be “one woman” men.
Faithful to your wife - certainly, you would violate “above reproach” without this
Only married once - I don’t see how you can apply this to divorce, but exclude it from a remarried widower.
2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
“husband of one wife”
μιας γυναικος ανδρα
“of one wife husband” (mias =of one; gynikos = wife; anera= husband)
This has been proposed to mean one of three things:
No polygomy - not likely as this was not something common in this time frame
Faithful to your wife - certainly, you would violate “above reproach” without this
Only married once - I don’t see how you can apply this to divorce, but exclude it from a remarried widower.
31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:
Here Jesus is simply saying that if a divorce is not legitimate, then the remarriage is not legitimate. If the divorce is legitimate (he uses the word pornea again), then the remarriage is legitimate.
Here Jesus is simply saying that if a divorce is not legitimate, then the remarriage is not legitimate. If the divorce is legitimate (he uses the word pornea again), then the remarriage is legitimate.
The other exception that I would make for an Overseer is if they were divorced before they were a Christian.
For what other sins do we hold against a man from before he was a believer? How can we disqualify someone from something that did before they had the power or even the reason not to do it! We would have to do the same for anything else from the list in , and 1 Peter 5.