Outside Relationships (7/21/19)
Notes
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Relationships with those outside the church!
Relationships with those outside the church!
Many years ago, I remember I was looking for a job to help support my family. I was just laid off from my previous job and had no idea what I was going to do. That was so scary. I hate the unknown. So, there I was sitting in my living room looking through the classified section of the newspaper looking for something I could do. Then out of nowhere I saw it, CDL Trucking school. I got to thinking, hmmm… I bet I could make good money driving over the road in a truck. I didn’t even ask my wife if I should go (I don’t ever recommend doing something that life changing without asking your wife, learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to go through them. Save that nugget for later!). So, any way, I just called and set it up and the next thing I know, I was in South Bend at a two week long CDL school. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and the dumbest! Once I got there, I had to share a hotel room with another guy who was going through the school as well, his name was Ben. You see at this time in my life I was not a Christian, I had no idea who God was or anything else about Him. But, guess what? God knew me! This roommate of mine, Ben, was a pastor at some church in Michigan and he wanted to get his CDL to help a friend of his haul stuff for his farm on the side. The first week of this school we had to learn all the laws and other stuff so that we could get our CDL permit. That whole week was like sitting in a classroom trying your best to learn and take in all that you could so that you could pass. It was that week that Ben took the time to build a relationship with me. He never told me he was a pastor the whole first week, he just told me why he was there, to help his buddy. But he began to talk with me and get to know me. After the first week we got to go home for the weekend, and returned on Sunday night, except for Ben didn’t return until the next morning on Monday. After we sat down for lunch that day, I asked Ben why he didn’t come the night before. That’s when he told me he was a pastor and he had a service that evening so he couldn’t make it. As soon as I heard he was a pastor, 2 things happened to me. #1 I started playing in my mind all the bad things I said or did the week before and felt uncomfortable to stand in his presence (why do we do that? Why do we, as soon as we hear someone is a pastor, we feel like we have to be fake around them? Like we have to be a certain way, or they will tell God that we aren’t good enough. Please do not do that around me, I want people to be real, not fake). Anyways, that was the first thing that happened to me, #2 is I started getting defensive. What I mean by that is all I knew about Christians was that they were these people who thought they were better than me and I was wrong, and they were right. That they lived this boring life and I didn’t want anything to do with it. So, what did I do when Ben told me he was a pastor? I turned around and walked away. Literally, I didn’t say anything, I just turned around and walked away and I didn’t give a rip. As I went through the rest of the day, I did my best to avoid him, I didn’t want him “preaching” to me, but I watched him. I watched how he kept being kind to everyone and encouraging them. I watched how he never yelled at anyone, or was rude, or got mad. Then I remember how he was the whole week before I knew he was a pastor. I watched how he was different than I made him out to be. Isn’t that funny! All my life I wanted nothing to do with Christians because they were judgy, but that’s what I was doing to Ben and every other Christian before him! How was I any better? But I watched him, and my walls started coming down slowly. That night in our hotel room I apologized for how I treated him. I told him what I thought I knew about Christians and how he was not what I perceived them to be. Then I did the unthinkable! I began to ask him questions about God and Jesus. He didn’t miss a lick, he answered exactly how I needed them to be answered. By that Friday of the second week I excepted Christ as my personal Savior. He told me before we left that God was laying me on his heart and he had done nothing but pray for me since the moment we meet. I remember coming home with Lisa and telling her about this new me. I would love to tell you the rest of the story from there, but it’s not mine to tell, that’s my wife’s.
That is where my journey as a Christian begins, July of 2006. I bet I am the only one in this room, or the only one you will ever meet who paid $6,000 to be a Christian!
How is that you say?
Trucking school cost me $6,000 and I drove a truck for a month, that is it. I paid $6,000 to find Christ! And I would do it again!
(Transition)
For the past couple weeks, we have been discussing relationships, our relationships with Jesus and our relationships with people inside the church.
This week we are going to discuss relationships with those outside the church.
This is probably one of the hardest relationships to build, but also one of the most important.
In the great commission speech that Jesus gave his disciple right before he ascended into heaven, Jesus told them to “Therefore
In the great commission speech, that Jesus gave his disciple right before he ascended into heaven, what did Jesus tell them to do? He said “go and make disciples of all nations”
How are we to do that if we don’t build relationships with people outside the church?
If all we do is build relationships with people inside the church we become more like a country club, then a church.
We become inward focused and worry about what we want, rather than what God wants.
We become more like a Pharisee back in Jesus’ time and less like Jesus himself.
(Transition)
Let’s open our Bibles to
Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him.
Later, Levi held a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow tax collectors and other guests also ate with them. But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?”
Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him.
Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him.
Let’s take a step back for a minute!
First of all, we can learn a huge lesson form Jesus right here. He goes up to a tax collector and asks him to follow him, a tax collector!
Let me tell you a little about tax collector’s back in Jesus’ time.
Just like it says in verse 30, they were scum.
Jews hated them.
Tax collectors were seen as those who betrayed their nation for material gain because they collected money from the Jews to give to the Romans. And to top it off, they could make up any price they wanted to, and take money for themselves. The Romans would have them get a certain amount, but the tax collectors would say it was more so they could pocket the difference. They were stealing money from them! And there was nothing the Jews could do because if they said “no” they would go to prison.
So, to say the least, the Jews hated them!
We can relate to how the Jews felt.
We all have seen crooked politicians. Politicians who are only out for themselves. Who only care about self-gain
They’re suppose to be an advocate for the people, but they only care about their needs. They pass laws, or don’t pass laws because of the lobbyist who give them money. We sit here and work our tails off to make ends meet while they sit and do nothing and make money we only dream about making. They are set for life!
And there is nothing we can do about it. We go to jail if we don’t pay our taxes or follow the laws that are given.
So, we can relate to how the Jews felt.
Let’s go to the next verse
Later, Levi held a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow tax collectors and other guests also ate with them.
Then, we read how Levi held a banquet for Jesus and invited all his friends.
Levi had to be well off to throw a banquet for Jesus and invite all these people.
Are you kidding me!?
Levi had the audacity to throw in the faces of the Jews that he was taking their money and just blowing it on a party, when that money could of been spent on feeding their kids or expanding their land to make room for more crops,
but noooooo their money was spent on a party with a bunch of other people they hated.
Man, that fires me up just thinking about it!
Let’s go to the next verse
But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?”
So, by now the Pharisee’s are mad and they ask the disciples “why do you eat and drink with such scum?”
They had that right!
You Jesus, who claim to be this holy man! Who claims to love God!
But you sit here with these people who steal from us, these people who miss treat God’s chosen people.
What you are saying Jesus is that you agree with them, you agree with how they act and live their lives.
You are one of them!
I can see it now as if I were there, Jesus turning around and saying whoa, pump your breaks there, scooter! Are you kidding me? That’s what you see here?!
All I have done is ask a guy to come follow me as my disciple and I sit down to have lunch with him and his friends and you see that I am against you, that I agree with their methods, that I am just like them?
You’re a half brick short of a load, there cowboy.
(At the end of sermon, Illustration)
Now, that’s what I envision Jesus saying, let’s read what he really said,
Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”
What Jesus is saying here is, “you see me sitting here and you assume I am for them and want to become one of them, but I’m really here to help them. These people need help and I want to help them. See, you pharisee’s know the truth. You know who God is, these people don’t.
Why do I need to only sit with you and others like you?
Shouldn’t I help the lost so they can be found, by God?
(Transition)
Far to often we as Christians can become to much like these Pharisee’s
We can get lost in our own agenda and lose sight of God’s
We believe we are doing the right thing by hanging out with the right people.
We distance ourselves away from the people who don’t believe what we believe because we feel like we might become like them, or we sit off in the shadows putting those who don’t believe what we believe down, like we have it all together.
That old saying, “you become who you hangout with”
That is so true!
But, lets not allow ourselves to become like them and let us influence them to become more like Jesus.
That’s what it’s all about.
Is it good to have relationships with people in the church?
You bet it is!
But, is it the only relationship to have?
No.
My buddy, Ben got that!
If it was not for him thinking outside the church walls who’s to say that i would be here today?
Who’s to say that any of you would be here today if it wasn’t for someone building a relationship with you when you were outside the walls of a church?
We forget about that!
It took someone from the church to build a relationship with someone outside the church for there to even be a church.
There are a lot of sick people out there, figuratively and literally
and God has called you, called us, to be their doctor.
One of the best ways we can build relationships with those outside the church is by not being offensive, or offended with people outside the church.
(Transition)
(At the end of sermon, Illustration)
This represents the potential of a relationship (Have something that can hold fence)
This represents the of”fences” that are going to come into your relationships. It’s not a matter of “if”, but “when”(Fence)
So, it’s not a matter of offensives coming, but what you do with them. Are you going to allow them to control you, allow God to control you.
Are yo
What you do with them will determine weather you have a strong relationship with God or others.
This can go into any relationship we have, but for today we are going to use it for Christian and Non-Christian relationships. Relationships with those outside the church.
We can become of”fence”ive without even trying. Trust me, ask my wife!
I have some good friends who told me this story, this is what I am talking about without even trying we can become offensive, So, my friend comes down the stairs wearing a black dress, and her husband, who is my friend too, but I’m not going to admit that he is my friend because how this story turns out, but she came down the stairs and her husband says this, “wow, black really is sliming”
Are you serious?! Don’t worry, he is due to come out of the hospital any day now! We’re hopeful!
But this proves my point, men are stupid, no, lol, we can be of”fence”ive without even meaning too.
Stuff just starts flowing out our mouthes and next thing you know someone is offended.
We can become offensive with things we say, write, do, or don’t do, right? All the husbands are like YEP!
But we can!
Especially with unmeant expectations or my favorite unexpressed expectations!
These are two of the biggest reasons for offensives! Unmeant expectations and unexpressed expectations.
Someone is not living up to the way we think they should, without them even knowing they should, most of the time.
Take for example here Lisa, her whole life she had a great dad and mom growing up, like really great. She remembers watching them do dishes together every-night and laughing and having fun with each other. That’s how she pictures love.
But, Chris here grew up in a home where his parents hated doing dishes, so him and his sisters had to do them. He would tell his sisters daily, when I get older I will never wash dishes again!
Lisa and Chris are married now and Lisa waits by the sink every night to have Chris do dishes with her. Every night Lisa goes to bed mad at Chris not feeling loved.
Chris doesn’t even know Lisa is mad at him, he thinks she is bummed that she had to do dishes, and he can relate. He hates doing them too!
So, what does Chris do? He’s a man, he try’s to fix the situation.
He comes up with this great idea to buy Lisa a dishwasher. He doesn’t tell her of course, it’s a surprise.
He searches and finds the perfect one!
He has Lowe’s deliver and install it why Lisa is at work. He is so excited to see his wife’s expression of joy when she gets home!
Lisa comes home, Chris is like a little school girl all excited to show her. He even put a big red bow on the front of it.
She walks in the kitchen sees the dishwasher and starts running down the hall crying and yelling saying why do you hate me!!!!
What?!
Lisa gets offended because Chris was not meeting an expectations of hers that she didn’t even communicate about. She had unexpressed expectations!
Chris, here, is offended now because he thought he was doing something good and she hated it!
Chris didn’t know she saw love expressed through doing dishes together. He just thought he was helping and being a good husband and bought her a dishwasher.
Why didn’t Lisa just tell him that?
If she would have he would of compromised and threw away all the real dishes and got paper plates and cups and they could of thrown it away together every night.
The same things goes on with churched and unchurched people.
Churched people have expectations for unchurched people and unchurched people think the same way about churched people.
Both treat the other as if they had a disease.
Churched people believe unchurched people should be like them. Going to church, not to drink, smoke or chew, or date girls who do.
They think because that’s how they live their life, then they have too as well.
Then with unchurched people, they think Christians are just stuck-up, judge-mental, hypocrites.
And we build this wall in between each other and we are ok being on our own sides.
(Build wall and say stuff on one side about being a unchurched person talking to a churched person, throw in their about washing dishes)
The thing is unchurched people can care less if you come and believe what they believe, they are going to continue down the path their going and not think anything else about it.
The thing is
Some of us Christians can think the same way too, but we shouldn’t.
We have to be different!
I think the apostle Paul says it best in
We
Even though I am a free man with no master, I have become a slave to all people to bring many to Christ. When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ.
When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.
I like what the NIV says
(John Maxwell in Florida)“I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”
For exampl
To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.
When I read that, I see that we need to do whatever it takes to win others to Christ.
Now does that mean we do drugs because they are, or we cuss, or do things that God doesn't want us to do?
Nooooooo
It means we don’t judge them, or be rude to them.
It means we love them where they are and become likable to them!
No one wants to be part of something with someone they don’t like.
Be likable!
Be someone that an unchurched person wants to get and know
(Transition)
Here is my challenge for everyone of you this week. I challenge each and everyone of you to go to someone, who is unchurched, and get to know them.
Start a relationship with them, with no set agenda, and begin praying for them when you are not with them. Just like Ben did for me.
Be the change, prove them wrong about how they view Christians.
I said it at our Local Church Conference, and I’ll say it again today!
“We may be the only Jesus someone ever knows, how are we showing him off?”
Let’s pray!
