Biblical Womanhood

Introduction

What is a “Biblical Woman”, you might ask? Is she a “strong, independent woman” who doesn’t need anyone else to tell her what her worth is? That is the message that our culture attempts to sell people nowadays, at least. Even in the Christian sphere of things, women are bombarded daily to “be free” and to put themselves first. Our society screams “equality” yet what we see in Scripture is that men and women have different responsibilities and are to be praised and honored because of this. Men and women are equally created in the Image of God and today we are going to look at a familiar passage of Scripture to see what a “Biblical woman” looks like because our world has no idea what Biblical Womanhood is.

Proverbs 31:

Proverbs 31:10–31 NASB95

10 An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Here we see God’s portrait of a Wonderful Wife and a Marvelous Mother! This Proverb is among the most interesting in our Bible due to the way that the author crafted it. Each verse begins with a letter in the Hebrew alphabet and continues down the list. In English, the first few verses might look like this: An Awesome wife, who can find her? A blessed lady, her husband trusts her. A caring woman, she does him good all her life. a diligent worker, she is skillful with her hands. You see how the author so eloquently phrases everything here. This woman is truly everything from “A-Z”!

It is interesting to see that motherhood is talked about very frequently on the news today. In 2005, Newsweek published an article that dived into motherhood and took a look at what stay at home moms do on a daily basis. They stated that if stay at home moms were compensated hourly for their work, they would make over $130,000 a year! The article also went on to say that more than 70% of wives say that their husbands got on their nerves more than their children - husbands, see to it that today is not one of those days! The article also said that 50% of women said that their mother is also their “best friend”. There is a lot of work that goes into being a stay at home mother and even for those who are not stay at home moms, there is a special bond that a mother has with her family. While we know many women who have had successful careers and others who had the opportunity to stay at home with their kids, we know that motherhood and being a wife is a special thing.

In a 2004 New York Times article, the author found from his investigation that “motherhood provides joy and fulfillment.” A couple of months after this article was published, though, a follow-up article came out that was entitled “The Myth of the Perfect Mother” in which the author examined the burden that usually falls upon women in the home and how this burden can rob mothers of the joy of being a wife and a mother.

Contrary to the article entitled “The Myth of the Perfect Mother”, the “perfect mother” is not a myth. Our passage today describes what a “Biblical woman” looks like. She embodies all the wisdom in Proverbs (she is a Jesus first lady!) and gives Christian women an example to try and emulate.

I want to stress that perfection should not and can not be the goal of a mother or a wife. That would only bring in frustration and discouragement! However, growing in the direction of what we find in and becoming like this lovely lady who walks in the wisdom of Christ is certainly something that is possible. We see 8 exemplary truths present themselves in this passage and we will spend our time this morning examining these truths as we honor our wonderful wives and marvelous mothers this morning!

A Biblical Woman is Trusted by her Husband (10-12)

Verses 10-12 open this passage of Scripture by declaring that a Biblical woman is trusted by her husband. You might think that the words “who can find” means that there is not an “excellent wife” out there, however we certainly know there are Godly women out there. This introduction in verse 10 shows us that these kinds of women do in fact exist and should be treasured.

Trust is something that our society desires in others but often falls short in on an individual level. We want others to be trusting of us and be honest with us, but we know many people fall short in living an “honest” life. We see in Scripture a depiction of an “adulterous” woman time and time again primarily in Proverbs and Revelation. Whenever there is deception and concern, trust is not something found (usually) in that relationship. What we see in is that a Biblical woman is trusted by her husband because she is noble as we see in verse 10. Another word for noble might be able, valiant or capable. She is able to do things on her own and be trusted in the process. This is not a “lesser” thing in that her husband is looking over her shoulder all the time but as we know with relationships, this woman is trusted fully by her husband because he knows that she is noble and loyal. She is a treasure worth far more than jewels.

She is also valuable. There are no doubts about this woman. Her husband has full confidence in her character. Verse 12 is unique in that it illustrates that she does him good all the days of her life, not his. Meaning that if he were to pass away before her, she would still treat him with respect and treat him good even when he is gone. I can look back on my grandmother, in this regard, and see what this looks like in reality. My grandfather passed away 2 years ago and my grandmother still talks about the good memories and the good man that he was. Rather than dwelling on those negative things or stirring up gossip, this woman does her husband good. What a blessing this type of woman is.

There are several proverbs that speak about the blessing of a good wife.

Proverbs 12:4 NASB95

4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 18:22 NASB95

22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14 NASB95

14 House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

The man who finds an excellent wife will experience tremendous blessing. Praise God for women who are trusted by their husband in a world that is dishonest and puts a premium on one’s immediate satisfaction and emotions.

A Biblical Woman is a Hard Worker (13-19)

Growing up as a child it seemed as though my mom never stopped doing something! She could be sick or sleepy but she always was doing something around the house. Because I was an only child, I never had the opportunity to see if other women were this way or if it was just my mom. After getting married though, I can confirm that it is a woman thing! Whether it be cleaning or doing clothes or studying for class, praise God for hard working women!

I’ve heard it said that the male is the spiritual leader of the house and acts as the “coach” of sorts but the wife is certainly the star Quarterback of the family. She does dozens of things all at once and even calls audibles from time to time and executes the game plan perfectly. We see in verses 13-15 that she uses her hands. She takes care of the family’s clothing, she takes care of the family’s food and she takes care of the family’s schedule. Now it is not to say that you have to do all of these things to be a godly woman! I have several friends who share these types of duties as a couple and they love doing this. What is important here is the context. At this time, generally speaking, the man would be working at his trade shop or in the market all day while the wife was doing the things around the house. Obviously things have changed a little bit today in that many more women have jobs now than back then and more men are able to work closer to home/at home/less hours than men did back then. Because of this, these responsibilities are able to be shared between husband and wife - as a wife, do not feel guilty or bad if you do not do all of these things! The main point that the author of the proverb is trying to get across is the fact that hard work is important and genuinely matters to a Biblical woman.

Whether it be getting up at 4am to help on the farm or 6am to get the kids ready for school and prepare breakfast, we know the sacrifices that mothers and wives make on a daily basis! As husbands, we appreciate the hard work that our wives put in day in and day out and it can be very easy for us to appreciate this hard work without giving our wife a word of appreciation. Words matter. Actions matter. Sometimes something as little as a “thank you for all you do” means more than anything.

In verses 16-19 we see that a Biblical woman uses her head. She is strong, not weak. Wise, not timid. She has confidence about her because she is devoted to excellence and helping her family. Her confidence comes from the Lord, though. Whenever we hear people speak on topics like feminism and the like, what they generally are talking about is confidence coming from yourself and “being yourself” and not someone else. Certainly, you are created in the Image of God and you should be yourself because you are fearfully and wonderfully made, however your confidence and purpose CERTAINLY comes from someone else - it doesn’t come from a person, not even your husband! It comes from the Creator of the Universe itself.

Praise God for hard working women who will stay up late into the night and wake up before the crack of dawn to do what they must do for their family!

A Biblical Woman is Compassionate (20)

A Biblical Woman is tender hearted and aware of those who are less fortunate than she is. She has a generous spirit and she helps out those in need. We see in verse 20 that she helps the poor. She does not become so busy in the things of her business/job or even her family that she losses sight of the needs of others around her. She is very much like Jesus Christ in that she opens her arms to the poor and she attempts to reach out and aid them. Because this “Biblical Woman” in is the embodiment of Wisdom, this should be the goal and model of the church today as well. We should strive to not be so inwardly looking (both in our own lives and in the life of the church) that we miss the needs of people right around us! We must be compassionate to these people, and I genuinely think that we want to be, however we must be aware of a need in order to help meet the need. We see that a Biblical Woman is compassionate and praise God for compassionate individuals in our lives because they often know the exact word that needs to be said or the thing that needs to be done that we are too ashamed or prideful to ask for ourselves.

She also helps the needy. Not only does this woman helping those who are poor, she also helps out those who are in need of kindness and truth. shows us

Proverbs 11:25 NASB95

25 The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered.

This woman does not desire to store up her riches and wealth and resources but instead desires to help out those who are in need and to be a blessing to them! Praise God for compassionate wives and mothers who nurture and raise up compassionate children and encourage their husbands to be compassionate as well!

A Biblical Woman is ready for Tough Times (21-22)

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies, is it? It has ups and downs, mountains and valley’s. The great thing about marriage is that we don’t have to go through these moments alone. The even greater thing about a Christian marriage is that God is with us in the midst of these difficult times. The Biblical Woman is aware of this and she is prepared for both the drought and the harvest. When push comes to shove, she is ready as we see in verses 21 and 22.

She takes care of others first as we see that she clothes her family first. If there were ever an accurate depiction of what a mother does, it is . She gets her family ready for the cold weather with the best clothes her family has. She does not lower the bar - she does her absolute best and looks out for others first rather than herself.

It is only after her family is taken care of that she then takes care of herself. Linen and purple (as we see in verse 22) would indicate that this individual was a woman of some wealth because these fabrics and materials were not readily available and were expensive. This does not mean that if you do not have expensive materials that you cannot be a “” woman! Far from it, in fact. This verse is simply showing how a Biblical woman will seek to give first and take last.

Having gone through difficult storms of life and knowing that each and every one of us have as well, I think that we all know that difficult times are ahead. Praise God for a Biblical Woman who is prepared for these storms and who puts the needs of her family above her own.

A Biblical Woman is a Blessing to her Husband (23)

Having been married for 9 months, I can already tell you how big of a blessing my wife is to my ministry and my walk with the Lord. She is my best friend in every sense of the word and many of you have the same experience with your spouse! Praise God for this.

Verse 23 shows us that her husband is known. This woman does not tear her husband down but helps to build him up both inside and outside the home. In the ancient world, reputation was extremely important in order to survive! You could be the smartest, strongest or nicest person in the world but if you had a bad reputation then you would be in a world of trouble! Reputations are still important in our day and age. A Biblical Woman will not tarnish her husbands reputation and spread gossip and focus solely on the negative things in their marriage but she will enhance his reputation. This does not mean that you have to pretend that everything in your marriage is perfect! Just as the wife is illustrated as being the jewel on a crown, the wife enhances the reputation of the man. A Biblical Woman does so much for a Christian man.

She also extends his responsibilities! A Godly wife makes her husband better, not worse. Praise God that a great wife can take an average man and lift him to greatness as well! A man is better with his wife than he is alone. We see in verse 23 that this man is respected among the elders of the city and in a position of authority and as this passage is showing, this is largely due to the blessing that his wife brings into his life.

Wives are tremendous blessings to their husbands today as well!

A Biblical Woman is Endowed with Godly Wisdom (24-27)

Linda Weber wrote in her book Mom, You’re Incredible! that many college students can’t imagine what they would do with all of the “free time” they would have if they stayed at home. Weber began to list all the things that she did as a stay at home mother and this list lines up well with what we see in verses 24-27. Linda writes that she is a: listener, picker-upper of messes, assistant to projects and homework, teacher, planner of schedules, reader of books, ironer of wrinkles, appointment maker, keeper of documents, emergency responder and a seeker of God. That’s quite a lot of things that women do. The list goes on to include things like attending recitals/sporting events, returning books, purchasing gifts, helping in the school, coordinate events and serving in the Church. Sometimes all of that can happen in 1 day, it seems like!

What we see in verses 24-27 is that this woman is active with her hands (24), she is adorned by her character (25), she is appropriate in her speech (26) and she is attentive to her home (27). She has a positive outlook on life. She uses kind words and uses wisdom to determine what words to say. She is active and has an open eye and ear to the needs of her family and is sensitive to their situation as well as potential danger coming their way.

Praise God for Godly women who use wisdom to help their family even though their “to-do” list gets longer and longer each day!

A Biblical Woman is Admired by her Family (28-29)

We see in verse 28 that her children will stand up and bless her. Some of you mothers out there would probably break down into tears if your children woke up one day and said that they love you and wanted to do whatever you needed them to do. Many of you would faint at the very notion of such a thing! One of the greatest examples of Christian motherhood, Susannah Wesley (mother of Charles and John Wesley), had “16 house rules” for her children that probably seem harsh to our ears. These rules included things like “teaching a child to pray as soon as he can speak”, “requiring children to be in bed by 8pm”, “never allowing a sinful action to go unpunished” and “strictly observe all promises”.

Susannah Wesley would spend an hour each week praying for each of her children. I know that many women pray for their children often, however Wesley had 17 children! This was a tremendous amount of time that she spent in prayer for her family each week, however we can see that her children certainly respected and admired their mother’s devotion to the Lord!

We also see in verses 28-29 that the woman’s husband will praise her! How to children know how to treat women? Based upon how the husband treats his wife. If the father compliments the wife, their children will know that it is good to speaking kindly to their mother as well. In studying for this sermon, I came across a story of a father who was talking with his children about getting married to their mother and he had this to say, “I made one mistake in marrying your mother when I was 21 and she was 19. I should have married her when I was 20 and she was 18! That would have given me another year of being married to my best friend and the greatest wife in the entire world!” If the husband treats his wife like this in front of the children, they will praise their mother as well.

Praise God for Biblical Women who pray for their family!

A Biblical Woman is Honored by the Lord (30-31)

This passage ends with an eternal perspective and the praise from the Lord. Verse 30 shows us that this woman has a Godly perspective! Physical appearance fades away - to trust in looks and charm is to be self deceptive. This woman knows that truly matters and what truly lasts - the things of God. These are the things that she ultimately values! Having a relationship with Jesus Christ, she fears the Lord which “is the beginning of knowledge” as we see from . Not only does this woman have a Godly perspective, but she receives Godly praise. This woman knows the Lord and serves the Lord. She seeks to know, serve and obey Him. This woman will receive praise and when her life comes to a close, she will be able to look back over her life and honestly say “I have no regrets”.

Conclusion

The wise wife is a type of Woman Wisdom and one can only be that type of wife if she is in a relationship with the Wisdom of God who is Jesus Christ. The only way to be a positive partner, marvelous mother and wonderful wife is to be a Proverbs lady who is saved and born again. shows us that not every woman can fulfill these requirements. She must be a saved woman who is Godly. The applause of the world mean nothing to this woman. The applause and praise of Jesus Christ means everything. She walks in Wisdom and seeks first the Kingdom of God. She puts her families needs above her own and she desires to love her husband .

In a world that promotes independency and says that women don’t need anyone else in their life, this message brings about a stark contrast. This Biblical Woman needs Jesus Christ. We all need Jesus Christ. Praise God for Biblical Women who put Jesus first in their lives and who love their spouse and children with a love that is nearly impossible to describe. Today we honor and admire those women in our lives and we are thankful for you! We are thankful for the sacrifices you have made and for you putting God first in the family. You are the unspoken heroes of the family and today we admire you for all that you do!

Husbands - thank your wives today.

Children - thank your mom’s today.

Wives/moms - keep putting God first and praying for your family and let’s change the family dynamic in our country one marriage at a time.

Let’s pray