Beating Mom Guilt

With the advent of social media and camera phones has come the era of comparison. We see pictures and posts and articles that have been shared by our friends, and, immediately, our heart sinks and the guilt sets in. We see how happy they are, and we aren’t that happy. We see the projects that their kids have done, and our kids are throwing spaghetti on the ceiling. We see how clean their house is, and ours is hardly noticeable under all of the laundry. On Facebook and Instagram, every marriage looks happy, every house looks clean, every kid seems sweet, and we never measure up.

And, as a result, mom guilt has reached a new peak and is robbing so many of our moms of the joy that Christ has offered. The standards of what it takes to be a good mom appears to be a fluid, ever changing list. You have to have certain carseats and certain feeding plans and reach certain benchmarks and certain schedules, or it’s like everyone is telling you that you aren’t a good mom. Every post you see and every blog you read and every friend you talk to seems to add another impossible decision, another new purchase, another weighty responsibility. And, inevitably, you come up short, leaving you feeling insecure, inadequate, and anxious. You’re not even able to enjoy your family because you’re constantly feeling guilty and feeling like a failure. Luckily, Jesus anticipated these types of experiences for his disciples in a fallen world. This morning, we’re going to see how Jesus instructs us to deal with mom guilt or any other source of anxiety and fear in our lives.

Read

v. 22 “therefore I tell you” Jesus was in a crowd of people when a man approached him seeking his help in getting his brother to pay what he felt entitled to from his family’s inheritance. Rather than help the man confront his brother, Jesus tells him the Parable of the Rich fool, a man who made a fortune, saved it in large storehouses, and then died on the day of his retirement. Now, Jesus has pulled his disciples aside to elaborate on this teaching of money and material things so that they might know how to battle the ambush of covetousness and all of its symptoms in their lives and ministries. And, it’s in this setting that Jesus gives his disciples three instructions about worry (headline).

v. 23 “For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing” First, see that Jesus instructs, Do not be “anxious” about the “little things”. Jesus knows his disciples. Who knows their strengths and their weaknesses. He knows their tendencies and their vulnerabilities. And, Jesus know that his disciples will find themselves in hard places doing hard things and be tempted to see easier, more prosperous ways around them. He knows that his disciples will be tempted to covet the lifestyles and homes and money that the world seems to enjoy so freely. He knows that they will be tempted to doubt whether or not God has given and will give all that they need and that they deserve. They will be tempted toward anxiety about having enough and being taken care of. Contentment and peace will be a battle for Jesus’ disciples. And so, Jesus tells them, “Don’t worry about such small things as these. Don’t worry about food and clothing and having enough. Isn’t life about so much more than these?”

But, the fastest growing religion in our day, naturalism, believes the opposite. Naturalism, the belief that everything has occurred naturally and randomly without the interference or planning of a designer, boils all of life down eating, drinking, wearing, and earning. That is, all of life comes down to having your needs met, then your wants met, then the needs and wants of others, and then it’s over. It boils down to getting the basics, and then once you’ve obtained the basics, it’s about attaining nicer and nicer versions of the basics. So, for Jesus, these are little things, but for the average American these are the main things, the only things. For the average American mom, this is what she lives for. For the average American dad, this is what he works for. For our teenagers, this why they go to school. So that they can have what they need and then what they want. And, it’s our perspective of this tension, whether our basic provision is small in the economy of God or the main aim of our mothering, working, schooling, that will determine whether we live anxious lives or with peace that surpasses all understanding. You see, if this is all there is, if life amounts to eating and drinking and wearing and obtaining, it lowers our eyes from the grandeur of the magnificent to the merely mundane. That is, if there is no sovereign God and sovereign providence and sovereign plan and sovereign provision, and this is all there is; then, it all rides on us. It all depends on you and on your performance and on your ability to provide and have enough. It all depends on your ability to give your kids the opportunities that will measure up to everyone else. And, when our eyes move from the grandeur of the magnificent to the merely mundane, when it becomes about our ability to provide and to create happiness and to create purpose for ourselves and our families, anxiety and worry and fear will be soon to follow. Anxiety comes whenever we “lower” our “eyes”.

Jesus’ Disciples are too “Valuable” to be Anxious.

v. 24, 27 “Consider the ravens....consider the lilies” So, Jesus is seeking to give his disciples the tools that they need to keep their eyes lifted high above the worries of this world. He’s giving them what they need so that they can walk the fearful days of life without being overcome. First, Jesus’ disciples are too “valuable” to be anxious. Jesus makes this case by giving two different arguments. He says, “You’re worried about what you will eat? Look at the ravens.” Birds don’t have barns, and birds don’t have tractors, birds don’t have Publix. But, birds always have food. They are running around frantically afraid that today they ate their last caterpillar. No! They’re sitting on the tree limb with a full stomach singing their favorite song, without a single grain stored away. And, the birds are not made in the image of God. Jesus did not come to die in the place of the birds. God did not seek out the birds. Child of God, it’s you that bears his image, and it’s you that Christ died for, and it’s you that God came seeking to be reconciled with. O, the birds are full, don’t you think that you’ll be full, too? Don’t you think you are far more valuable to God than the birds?

Then, Jesus says, “Don’t just look at the birds singing on the tree limb. Look at the flowers covering the field.” We’re talking about grass and dirt here. But, if you drive by a field with mountains in the backdrop that is painted like an earthen canvas with colors too brilliant for man to reproduce, you have to look, don’t you? Does dirt matter more to God than you do? Does grass matter more to God than you do? If God clothes the dirt more beautifully than the richest king, do you not believe that you will be clothed, too? Jesus is lifting up our gaze from the needs that are pressing in on us to the sovereign Lord seated upon his throne.

APPLICATION: The primary weapon in the arsenal of the Christian in the battle against anxiety is the very character of God. Observing the birds, we see the faithfulness of God for who could possibly care for a creature so prolific and at the same time so helpless. Yet, ever faithfully, since the dawn of creation, God has fed them day in and day out out of his own hand. He is faithful. And, who cares what grass wears? Who cares that fields are painted with flowers? God does. God doesn’t just make; He makes beautifully. God doesn’t just provide; He provides wonderfully. The lilies of the field are portraits of the goodness of God. And, it is the faithfulness of God and the goodness of God that will meet every need in our lives and slay that anxiety that creeps in. Anxiety is the refusal to trust the faithfulness and goodness of God.

APPLICATION: The primary weapon in the arsenal of the Christian in the battle against anxiety is the character of God. Observing the birds, we see the faithfulness of God for who could possibly care for a creature so prolific and at the same time so helpless. Yet, ever faithfully, since the dawn of creation, God has fed them day in and day out out of his own hand. He is faithful. And, who cares what grass wears? Who cares that fields are painted with flowers? God does. God doesn’t just make; He makes beautifully. God doesn’t just provide; He provides wonderfully. The lilies of the field are portraits of the goodness of God. And, it is the faithfulness of God and the goodness of God that will meet every need in our lives and slay that anxiety that creeps in. Anxiety is the “refusal” to trust the “faithfulness” and “goodness” of God.

Jesus’ Disciples are too “Weak” to be Anxious.

v. 25 “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” Not only does Jesus say that his disciples are too valuable to be anxious, but Jesus’ disciples are too “weak” to be anxious. Look at what seems to be a strange point that He makes to them, sandwiched in between the ravens and lilies. He says, “Can you add a single hour to your life by worrying? Can you add a minute or a second? Well, if you’re so weak that you can’t do something so small as that what good is it for you to worry about anything at all?” Jesus comforts his disciples with their own powerlessness. You see, all of this is coming together to make a single argument: If God is faithful to the birds and good to the grass and if you are too weak to affect even the smallest of changes, then have confidence in the character of God, a character so wonderful, so immense, so unsearchable that you are too small and too weak to even begin to comprehend it. So, trust him. Have faith in him. Rest in his sovereign grace, O you of little faith.

APPLICATION: Anxiety comes when we take “responsibility” for what only God can “handle”. That is, anxiety comes when we try to hold life together and hold our families together and hold our careers together and keep our kids from hardship and our parents healthy. We assume responsibilities that we are incapable of fulfilling and resolving, and since we can’t make everything okay and we can’t make everything better and easier, we’re left to just worry about it and feel guilty about our own powerlessness. But, the problem is that worry doesn’t work. Worry doesn’t fix anything. In fact, you cannot add to your life by worry, but you can take away from your life by worry. Not a single thing that Jesus mentions are bad or unimportant. Food and clothing are good and needed. But, you have to see them in perspective that they are good things from a good God that you cannot control. And, this principle applies to so many different areas of our lives today. Having children is a good gift from God that can suck the life out of you. How many moms are out there on the verge of throwing in the towel, utterly depressed and feeling like a failure, because you can’t manage your home perfectly? There’s so many blogs to read and opinions about this, and if you take a shortcut, you don’t love your child, and if you don’t feed them this or let them experience that you aren’t a good mother. And, you try and try and try to manage all of the expectations that are upon you, and you just can’t. Your baby still gets sick and feeding is still not going well and they’re still behind on their benchmarks. God provided the children, and God will provide for the children. Walk away from the expectations of Facebook and blogs, and rest in the sovereign goodness of the Lord. Enjoy the good gifts of God!

v. 29 “And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.” Next, Jesus instructs Do not be “worried” about the “wrong kingdom”. It’s really interesting how Jesus drives this home for his disciples. Jesus says that his disciples should not live for food and drink because that’s how people live who don’t know God. This is what he means in verse 30 by ‘all the nations of the world seek after these things.’ That is, all of those who don’t know God and love God and trust God wake up every day, work for the man, so that they can have the stuff. They seek stuff. They get second jobs so that they can have more stuff. They stay later for stuff. That’s what this kingdom is about. To live seeking our needs and wants is to live as a “practical atheist”. You may profess with your mouth that you know God and love God, but you are living as though God isn’t there and God isn’t trustworthy and God doesn’t love you. You’re worried that God isn’t going to provide and that God isn’t going to be enough. You’ll notice in verse 29 that Jesus makes a subtle shift in words to show a new side of his argument. In verses 22,25,26, you’ll notice the ESV translates ‘anxiety’, and then in verse 29, it translates the word as ‘worried.’ This is to show that two different words are used, though they have very similar meanings. But, this word in verse 29 paints a picture. The word most literally means ‘buoyed’. It’s someone fighting in the waves and the water to keep themselves above water so that they won’t drown. It’s a graphic picture of worry, isn’t it? And, it’s one that so many of you know. Where you just feel like you’re drowning, and it’s all that you can do to keep your head above water.

v. 29 “And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried.” Next, Jesus instructs Do not be “worried” about the “wrong kingdom”. It’s really interesting how Jesus drives this home for his disciples. Jesus says that his disciples should not live for food and drink because that’s how people live who don’t know God. This is what he means in verse 30 by ‘all the nations of the world seek after these things.’ That is, all of those who don’t know God and love God and trust God wake up every day, work for the man, so that they can have the stuff. They live for the stuff. They get second jobs so that they can have more stuff. They stay later for stuff. That’s what this kingdom is about. For a disciple to live focused on their livelihood and their food and their stuff is to live a life of practical atheism. You may profess with your mouth that you know God and love God, but you are living as though God isn’t there and God isn’t trustworthy and God doesn’t love you. You’ll notice in verse 29 that Jesus makes a subtle shift in words to show a new side of his argument. In verses 22,25,26, you’ll notice the ESV translates ‘anxiety’, and then in verse 29, it translates the word as ‘worried.’ This is to show that two different words are used, though they have very similar meanings. But, this word in verse 29 paints a picture. The word most literally means ‘buoyed’. It’s someone fighting in the waves and the water to keep themselves above water so that they won’t drown. It’s a graphic picture of worry, isn’t it? And, it’s one that so many of you know. Where you just feel like you’re drowning, and it’s all that you can do to keep your head above water.You see, whenever your life becomes obsessed with all of the daily needs and daily concerns and daily wants, whenever life only begins to amount to dinner and diapers and savings and retirement, life loses its meaning. It loses its significance. Let’s think about this from a mother’s perspective to illustrate. When a mother’s life begins to revolve solely around the daily tasks that she has and the responsibilities that she has and the concerns that she has, her mothering feels increasingly meaningless. Every Facebook post of her friend, every new warning label she reads, every new talk show she watches is constantly saying, “Mom, it all depends on you.” So, she tries. She really, really tries. She loves her family, and she’s an honorable woman, and if it all depends upon her, she wants to do well. But, the harder she tries, the more she discovers she’s supposed to be doing and thinking about and accomplishing, and the more she begins to feel herself slipping beneath the surface of the waves. Her experience is: “I’m doing so much and trying so hard, but it doesn’t seem to matter and no seems to notice. And, what happens is that she has no power to make things better and no ability to spin all of the plates that have cast upon her, and so she worries. She’s drowning, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep her head above water. She’s drowning because she’s attempting a self-rescue, a self-salvation from impossible expectations, and no one can save themselves. No one can add more time to the clock or more days to the calendar.v. 31 “Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” And, the life raft that our moms and our dads and teenagers need as they drown in this world is the gospel. You see, Nothing causes anxiety in the heart of a Christian like living as though God isn’t real. Nothing says God isn’t real more than, “I’ve got this.” You see, the remedy for anxiety is not less responsibility. For most of you, that’s unrealistic. One of the reasons that you feel like you’re drowning is that your responsibilities worry you and you know they can’t change. What is needed is a shift in perspective, priorities, and purpose. This is what Jesus is saying when He says, “Instead (the very word implies a shift in thinking), seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” That is, don’t live your life with your tasks and needs and responsibilities and wants as your priority. Instead, live your life focused on loving God and knowing God and enjoying God and all of these things that are keeping you up at night will be seen correctly. Do you see that there’s a shift in verse 30 that’s big? Verses 22-29, Jesus is refers to God as God, but in verse 30, He refers to him as Father. Not only is God there providing faithfully for the birds and wonderfully for the fields, but He is your Father. You are his beloved. Do you think that your Father who loves the birds will not care for you? No! Seek your Father, know your Father, love your Father, and your responsibilities and tasks and needs can be seen for what they really are -- an opportunity for God to display his love and providence in your life. You see, knowing God allows you to see how every small brush stroke helps to paint a bigger picture. Diapers and dishes and time-clocks and recitals aren’t meaningly, mundane responsibilities. They are the brushstrokes of God’s providence that He’s using to paint the masterpiece of his Kingdom. Your dishes and diapers will be used by God to build Jesus’ church and proclaim Jesus’ glory. Your time-clock and carpool will be used by God to paint the picture to the next generation of how loving their heavenly Father is. You see, seeking the Kingdom reverses the experience of seeking your wants. “Before everything rests on my shoulders. I have to be the rock for my family. Now, it rests on the shoulders of God. He is our rock and refuge.” “Before I was doing and working and trying so hard only for it all to fill meaningly and unappreciated. The Gospel tells me that my most mundane task is a brushstroke in God’s masterpiece.” “Before I was drowning, but now I am secure in Christ, and my joy is full.” “Before I was attempting self-rescue and self-salvation by working harder and trying harder and feeling guilty. Now, I can rest in Christ!” The difference that Christ teaches his disciples is the difference in perspective, priorities, and purpose.APPLICATION: If you live your life focused on the next glass of water, every glass that you drink will leave you worried about the next. You’ll quench your thirst for a second, but your worry will never be satisfied. But, if you live for the Spring, if you obtain the Spring, if you abide in the Spring, when your glass runs low you’ll know that a refill is coming. Brothers and sisters, live your life seeking after the Spring, not glasses. Where in your life are you shouldering the load? Where are you trying to save yourself and your family? Seek after the Spring, not the glasses. Think about how great God is, not how long your to do list is.

You see, whenever your life becomes obsessed with all of the daily needs and daily concerns and daily wants, whenever life only begins to amount to dinner and diapers and savings and retirement, life loses its meaning. It loses its significance. Let’s think about this from a mother’s perspective to illustrate. When a mother’s life begins to revolve solely around the daily tasks that she has and the responsibilities that she has and the concerns that she has, her mothering feels increasingly meaningless. Every Facebook post of her friend, every new warning label she reads, every new talk show she watches is constantly saying, “Mom, it all depends on you.” So, she tries. She really, really tries. She loves her family, and she’s an honorable woman, and if it all depends upon her, she wants to do well. But, the harder she tries, the more she discovers she’s supposed to be doing and thinking about and accomplishing, and the more she begins to feel herself slipping beneath the surface of the waves. Her experience is: “I’m doing so much and trying so hard, but it doesn’t seem to matter and no seems to notice. And, what happens is that she has no power to make things better and no ability to spin all of the plates that have cast upon her, and so she worries. She’s drowning, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep her head above water. She’s drowning because she’s attempting a self-rescue, a self-salvation from impossible expectations, and no one can save themselves. No one can add more time to the clock or more days to the calendar.

v. 31 “Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” And, the life raft that our moms and our dads and teenagers need as they drown in this world is the gospel. You see, Nothing causes anxiety in the heart of a Christian like living as though God isn’t real. Nothing says God isn’t real more than, “I’ve got this.” You see, the remedy for anxiety is not less responsibility. For most of you, that’s unrealistic. One of the reasons that you feel like you’re drowning is that your responsibilities worry you and you know they can’t change. Anxiety requires a “shift” in perspective, priorities, and purpose. It requires us to go back to the gospel to remember our weakness and God’s might, our burden and God’s grace. This is what Jesus is saying when He says, “Instead (the very word implies a shift in thinking), seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” That is, don’t live your life with your tasks and needs and responsibilities and wants as your priority. Instead, live your life focused on loving God and knowing God and enjoying God and all of these things that are keeping you up at night will be seen correctly.

v. 31 “Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” And, the life raft that our moms and our dads and teenagers need as they drown in this world is the gospel. You see, Nothing causes anxiety in the heart of a Christian like living as though God isn’t real. Nothing says God isn’t real more than, “I’ve got this.” You see, the remedy for anxiety is not less responsibility. For most of you, that’s unrealistic. One of the reasons that you feel like you’re drowning is that your responsibilities worry you and you know they can’t change. What is needed is a shift in perspective, priorities, and purpose. This is what Jesus is saying when He says, “Instead (the very word implies a shift in thinking), seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.” That is, don’t live your life with your tasks and needs and responsibilities and wants as your priority. Instead, live your life focused on loving God and knowing God and enjoying God and all of these things that are keeping you up at night will be seen correctly. Do you see that there’s a shift in verse 30 that’s big? Verses 22-29, Jesus is refers to God as God, but in verse 30, He refers to him as Father. Not only is God there providing faithfully for the birds and wonderfully for the fields, but He is your Father. You are his beloved. Do you think that your Father who loves the birds will not care for you? No! Seek your Father, know your Father, love your Father, and your responsibilities and tasks and needs can be seen for what they really are -- an opportunity for God to display his love and providence in your life.

Knowing God allows you to see how every “small: brush stroke helps to paint a “bigger” picture. Diapers and dishes and time-clocks and recitals aren’t meaningless, mundane responsibilities. They are the brushstrokes of God’s providence that He’s using to paint the masterpiece of his Kingdom. Your dishes and diapers will be used by God to build Jesus’ church and proclaim Jesus’ glory. Your time-clock and carpool will be used by God to paint the picture to the next generation of how loving their heavenly Father is. You see, seeking the Kingdom reverses the experience of seeking your wants. “Before everything rests on my shoulders. I have to be the rock for my family. Now, it rests on the shoulders of God. He is our rock and refuge.” “Before I was doing and working and trying so hard only for it all to fill meaningly and unappreciated. The Gospel tells me that my most mundane task is a brushstroke in God’s masterpiece.” “Before I was drowning, but now I am secure in Christ, and my joy is full.” “Before I was attempting self-rescue and self-salvation by working harder and trying harder and feeling guilty. Now, I can rest in Christ!” The difference that Christ teaches his disciples is the difference in perspective, priorities, and purpose.

Knowing God allows you to see how every small brush stroke helps to paint a bigger picture. Diapers and dishes and time-clocks and recitals aren’t meaningly, mundane responsibilities. They are the brushstrokes of God’s providence that He’s using to paint the masterpiece of his Kingdom. Your dishes and diapers will be used by God to build Jesus’ church and proclaim Jesus’ glory. Your time-clock and carpool will be used by God to paint the picture to the next generation of how loving their heavenly Father is. You see, seeking the Kingdom reverses the experience of seeking your wants. “Before everything rests on my shoulders. I have to be the rock for my family. Now, it rests on the shoulders of God. He is our rock and refuge.” “Before I was doing and working and trying so hard only for it all to fill meaningly and unappreciated. The Gospel tells me that my most mundane task is a brushstroke in God’s masterpiece.” “Before I was drowning, but now I am secure in Christ, and my joy is full.” “Before I was attempting self-rescue and self-salvation by working harder and trying harder and feeling guilty. Now, I can rest in Christ!” The difference that Christ teaches his disciples is the difference in perspective, priorities, and purpose.

APPLICATION: If you live your life focused on the next glass of water, every glass that you drink will leave you worried about the next. You’ll quench your thirst for a second, but your worry will never be satisfied. But, if you live for the Spring, if you obtain the Spring, if you abide in the Spring, when your glass runs low you’ll know that a refill is coming. Brothers and sisters, live your life seeking after the Spring, not glasses. Where in your life are you shouldering the load? Where are you trying to save yourself and your family? Seek after the Spring, not the glasses. Think about how great God is, not how long your to do list is.

v. 32 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Lastly, Jesus instructs: Do not “fear” losing a “temporary treasure”. Jesus lands his case by showing how thoroughly silly it is for us to worry. Jesus asks: “Do you not know who you are, or do you not know who God is?” We are his flock. Little as we are, God knows our vulnerability and our weakness and our needs. And, God is our shepherd. He doesn’t care for us begrudgingly or out of guilt. He gives to us according to his pleasure. In other words, it brings joy to God to provide for you. He’s going to give you the whole Kingdom, let alone bread. That is, those who trust him for bread will be given the whole Kingdom. Those who see the Father as the Spring, as the Treasure will receive far more than moldy bread and moth-eaten clothes. They will receive temporary provision followed by eternal treasure. Jesus wants us to see the foolishness of misguided fear. We worry about bread, and bread molds. We worry about clothes, and clothes wear through. We worry about money, and money is just paper with faces on it. We worry about paper, and God has offered to us the gold mine of his Kingdom! How many moms and dads and teenagers and grandparents are wasting their lives worried about molding bread when God has offered to give them the whole Kingdom? Don’t waste your life worried about what won’t matter in a week or in a month or in a century. You are the flock of God!

v. 34 “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Jesus gives his disciples a strange instruction. Remember, He’s talking about a person who is worried about not having enough. He’s talking about a person who is worried that they’re going to go hungry or do without. So, what does Jesus instruct this worried mom to do? “Sell your possessions, and give to your needy.” To a person worried about having enough, Jesus says to sell everything and give it away. Why does He says that? Your “fears” reveal your “idols”. They reveal the areas that you haven’t yet fully trusted God, where you’re still trying to hold on to the controls for a self-rescue. What you need to be happy, your treasure, reveals what’s in your heart. This is why money is such a great indicator. Your bank statement follows your heart. It reveals your treasure. You make enough and have enough to do what God has called you to do.

APPLICATION:You want to know what freedom looks like? “Freedom” is needing only Jesus to be “happy”. If all you need is Jesus, you will always have enough. If all you need is Jesus, you’ll never have to worry a single second about his abandonment. What do you need to be happy? What are you afraid of losing or afraid of not getting? Do you need a husband to be happy? Do you need a great job or kids or the admiration of the other moms? Or, is Jesus enough? Where in your life are you finding the idols that are blocking the fullness of joy offered to you in Jesus. Is Jesus enough?

Beating Mom Guilt

Introduction

God’s Word

Three Instructions About Worry (Headline)

Do Not Be “Anxious” About the “Little Things”

Our Weapon is God’s Character

Worry Doesn’t Work

Do Not be “Worried” about the “Wrong Kingdom”.

Mom is Drowning

Moms Need the Gospel

Small Brush Strokes in God’s Masterpiece

The Spring, not the Glass

Do Not “Fear” Losing a “Temporary Treasure”.