Living Life through Singleness

Introduction

In our culture, we often define people by their professions, possessions, and associations.

We can easily make assumptions of others based on a persons ethnicity, socio-economic standing, age, and marital status.

These assumptions have brought about deep wounds of emotional pain, exclusion, segregation, loneliness, and rejection.

Sadly, the Church is not immune to inflicting these wounds. I have seen professing Christians put down one another. This is sin!

Those who are single have often faced the feeling that they are less than—even in the church.

Perceptions:

Is something wrong with me?

I’m not complete.

This is my lot in life.

I feel so ignored.

Actions by others:

Your single—you need a spouse/when are you going to settle down and get married?

Your single—you can watch all the kids.

Your single—you have a lot of free time and a lot of money.

Your single—you can only have single friends.

Today, we are continuing the series on relationships: Living Life through Singleness.

Living Life through Singleness

It is possible to live with genuine contentment, fulfillment, and joy as a single person.

That contentment, fulfillment, and joy comes through right relationship with God.

However, ungodly pressure from our culture, friends, family, professing Christians, and pressure we bring on ourselves can rob us of the peace God wants us to experience in our lives.

Illustrations

Stephanie: Young adult—and is convinced that she will never marry.

Gary: Experienced a devastating divorce.

George: Always on the hunt—never satisfied.

Ken: Widower and so alone.

It is all too easy to live life waiting—waiting to get married, that we lose sight of the moment.

Today I want to show you have to live life through Singleness.

Next Point: Recognize Your Identity.

Recognize Your Identity

Your singleness, marriage status, bank account, job, past—does not define you.

Your identify is defined by who you are in Christ. The grace of God defines you.

Ephesians 2:8–10 ESV

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

If we do not allow God to define us (who we are in Christ Jesus), we will allow our circumstances and other people define us (to our detriment).

Action Step: Keep your focus on Christ—and who you are through Christ.

Next Point: Guard Your Heart

Guard Your Heart

Just like there are issues in marriage and married people need to be aware, singles must also be aware of certain challenges.

The reason why I began this message with recognizing our identity which is in Christ, is that we can easily become dissatisfied with our present experience.

We need our life anchored to the bedrock of Jesus. Without this anchor, we can become dissatisfied (everything would be perfect if I was married).

Dissatisfaction can invite resentment, discouragement, and bitterness into our lives and can deeply affect our faith and trust in God.

Our heart needs guarding! That means our attitudes, emotions, thoughts, and desires.

How do we guard our hearts?

Next Sub Point: Spend Time with God.

Spend Time with God.

Psalm 100:4 ESV

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!

Next Sub Point: Align Your Life with God’s Spirit.

Align Your Life with God’s Spirit.

Galatians 5:16 ESV

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Next Sub Point: Know God’s Word.

Know God’s Word.

Psalm 119:11 ESV

11 I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Engage in Sabbath Rest.

Engage in Rest.

Mark 6:31 ESV

31 And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.

Observe Boundaries.

Observe Boundaries.

Romans 13:13–14 ESV

13 Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

Invest in Friends.

Invest in Friends

In our culture, people are experiencing loneliness—which can be amplified for the single person.

As the Son of God, Jesus could have chosen to conduct his ministry on his own.

Instead, he chose to surround himself with the Twelve.

He also developed close friendships with the family of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.

Having godly friends will provide security, stability, and strength.

Hebrews 10:24–25 ESV

24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Final Point: Serve Out of the Overflow

Serve Out of the Overflow

Serve out of the overflow of your relationship with God.

Let your singleness be your loudest Gospel message.

First, as a single person, you bear witness to the sufficiency and fullness of Jesus through your celibacy.

Second, your singleness serves as a message of the resurrection and heaven where the believer is united with Christ.

Do not view your singleness as a liability. Whatever God calls you to do, do it!

Conclusion

Conclusion

Illustrations

Stephanie: Young adult—and is convinced that she will never marry.

Gary: Experienced a devastating divorce.

George: Always on the hunt—never satisfied.

Ken: Widower and so alone.

It is possible to live with genuine contentment, fulfillment, and joy as a single person.

Contentment, fulfillment, and joy comes through a right relationship with God.

Questions for Discussion and Reflection

Do you think married couples have more advantages in society (and in the church) as opposed to singe people? Why?

Why is it important to understand who you are in Christ?

What do you think happens if we do not guard our heart—whether you are single or married?

What advantages exist in adult singleness?

How can the church better serve those who are single?