The Trap of Comparison
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21 So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
4 But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. 5 For each one will bear his own load.
John 21:
12 For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.
2 Corinthians 10:12
15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.” 16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep. 18 Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.” 19 This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.” 20 Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” 21 Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”
Today I want to talk about comparison. So I want you to turn to your neighbor and ask them this question, which is the title of this message. Say “Neighbor, WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?”
Introduction
Introduction
During this season, people are beginning to post all different types of things on social media. They are beginning to post their graduation pictures, their prom pictures, their wedding pictures, the locations where they are getting ready to go on vacation, their summer-ready bodies. And when you are scrolling up and down, it is easy to fall into the trap of beginning to compare your life to someone else’s. You can begin to wonder why certain things are not happening for you. If you made the right choices and decisions in life, or even why you were dealt the cards you were dealt or born into the family you were born into.
And in some cases looking at other people’s life can be a good thing because it can serve as a source of motivation. For when you are looking at people graduating and doing some big thing it can cause you to want better and to do better if you know you are a lazy person and are stuck in a place of complacency. Looking at other people to get make you start thinking well maybe I do need to study more, maybe I do need start going to Bible study, maybe I do need to stop playing video games and binge watching Netflix and Hulu all day. Looking at other people as a source of motivation can be a very good thing.
But when God is orchestrating your life. When God is ordering your footsteps, and he is in the driver seat of your life, you have to be careful in spending a lot of time staring at what other people are doing, because what God is doing in their life may not have anything to do with you.
Craig Groeschel says “A quick way to ruin something special is to compare it to something else.”
Yes they got a new house, but what does that have to do with you?
Yes they get to travel with their job, but what does that have to do with you?
Yes they got accepted to that college, but what does that have to do with you?
Yes they got some new shoes and the new iPhone, but what does that have to do with you?
Yes all of your friends are married or booed up, but what does that have to do with you?
Craig Groeschel says “A quick way to ruin something special is to compare it to something else.”
A quick way to ruin something special is to compare it to something else.
If you ask any of my preacher friends about me, just about all of them will say I am not your typical black preacher. I don’t have their same preaching style, nor do I share the same experiences. When I was 17, I went off to college and their I studied under a white pastor and worshipped in a multi-cultural church for four years and it completely shaped the way I preached and my thought process about ministry. Most of my friends stayed in LA and preached in the LA black circuit.
: Preacher platform and style - If you ask any of my young preacher friends, they will all tell you that I am not your typical black preacher in Los Angeles. haven’t preached in the same
And when I came back to LA, there were times when I began to wrestle with the preacher that I believed God was shaping me into and the black preacher I was used to hearing. I wondered why I didn’t have the same opportunities to preach in certain churches as my preacher friends. I wondered what if I had stayed in LA and continued preaching like my preacher friends. I wondered if something was wrong with me.
But then I began to recognize that the reason why I didn’t have the same preaching opportunities, and the reason why God sent me off to Santa Barbara to study under a white preacher is because God had different pulpits and different opportunities that he wanted to speak in. And that’s why I have had the privilege of speaking before black people, white people, hispanic people, and asian people. That’s why I can regularly preach at a church in South Central Los Angeles and then turn around a preach at a seminary graduation that is multicultural and full of PhD professors. God had different places that he wanted me to preach in.
What Am I trying to Say?
What am I trying to say? When God is shaping you and molding you into who He wants you to be, you don’t have time to be staring and comparing what God is doing in your life to what God is doing in somebody else’s.
The Bible says in that your gift will make room for you and bring you before great men.
16 A man’s gift makes room for him And brings him before great men.
But that is only true if you decide to be the person God has created you to be and not a knock-off or a fake of someone else.
But that is only true if you decide to be the person God has created you to be and not a knock-off or a fake of someone else.
The world doesn’t need another Brandon, because no one can beat me being me. But the world needs (say names of people in the audience if you know their names). The world needs you to be the person God is shaping you to be.
16 A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men.
Somebody needs to hear today that “I’m too special to be comparing myself to something or someone else.”
12 For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.
No one can beat me being Brandon.
4 But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another. 5 For each one will bear his own load.
The world needs Brandon (Akayla) , not a knock off or a fake of someone else.
And so today, I’m going to give you three things that comparing ourselves to others can do and then give you one thing we can do going forward.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to having an inflated view of self.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to having an inflated view of self.
Some people are posting thi
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to having an inflated view of self.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to having an inflated view of self.
When you think of the word inflate think of a balloon. It looks big, but at the end of the day it is just full of air. That’s how some of the Pharisees had such an inflated view of themselves that Jesus would refer to them as white washed tombs—clean on the outside, but nothing but death on the inside. And in ...
Comparing ourselves to others can make us settle for less than what God has for us.
Comparing ourselves to others can make us settle for less than what God has for us.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to having an inflated view of self.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to having an inflated view of self.
9 And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 “The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 ‘I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 13 “But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ 14 “I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14
(Explain or read scripture)
Aren’t we like that as Christians sometimes? We compare our Christian walks to other people Christian walks. And because we feel like we don’t do any of the “big” sins like THEM we feel good about ourselves. I don’t steal. I don’t kill. I’m not addicted to any drug. Compared to other Christians, I look good on paper.
I mean yes I’m a little prideful, yes I’m selfish, yes I got a nasty attitude and a sharp tongue, yes I don’t like doing my chores when mom and dad tell me to, yes I place my extracurricular activities before my relationship with God sometimes, and yes I’ve been a bad student because I’m getting D’s when I know I could be getting A’s and B’s.
But at least I’m not like THEM!
And you see what makes having an inflated view of yourself so dangerous is that you begin to lose the drive and the urgency to grow.
We begin to look left and right and because we see ourselves doing more than the people around us and you begin to tell yourself well maybe I can stop. Maybe I don’t have to do anything more or strive for anything better.
Black Student Union Story - I remember being over the Black Student Union at my college, and historically BSU praised first-generation college students. For those that may not know what that means, a first generation college students is a student that is the first person in their family to attend a four-year university and obtain a bachelor’s degree. It is something we praised and clapped for, especially because many of our families didn’t have an education because they were denied an education.
First generation college students is something to be celebrated. But my problem is when we become so inflated with the idea that we have done one more thing than our parents didn’t do that we miss out on the ten other things that God also has for us. Maybe God doesn’t want you to just have a bachelors, maybe he wants you to get a Ph.D or a doctorates, maybe he wants you write a few books or own multiple properties. Maybe God wants you to do a hundred things more than your parents never did, but so long as you are inflated with the idea of doing more in comparison to the people around you or that came before you, you will miss out on all the other things that God has for you.
Having an inflated view of yourself can cause you to lose the drive and the urgency to grow.
Comparing ourselves to others can make us settle for less than what God has for us.
Comparing ourselves to others can make us settle for less than what God has for us.
In , Samuel, the judge over Israel was getting old so he appointed his two sons as the judges. But his two sons weren’t good people. They didn’t have the same character that their father Samuel had. So instead of asking for another judge, the Israelites use this as an excuse to ask for a king like the other nations. And in response, Samuel tells them a king is going take your servants, your sons, your daughters, your cooks, your bakers. Samuel was basically trying to get them to understand that having a human king going to take more from them than add to them. But despite Samuel’s warning, they say this in verse 19-20.
19 Nevertheless, the people refused to listen to the voice of Samuel, and they said, “No, but there shall be a king over us, 20 that we also may be like all the nations, that our king may judge us and go out before us and fight our battles.”
19 So it came about at the time when Merab, Saul’s daughter, should have been given to David, that she was given to Adriel the Meholathite for a wife. 20 Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David. When they told Saul, the thing was agreeable to him.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy & insecurity.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy & insecurity.
Israel wants a human king that can go before them and fight their battles.
Let me say that again. Israel wants a human king that can go before them and fight their battles.
But because they are comparing themselves to other nations, they can’t see that they already had the greatest King that has ever been.
God was their king.
And God was the type of king that would hear his people’s cry and send not 1, not 2, not 3, but ten different plagues to deliver out of 400+ years of slavery.
But Israel wants a human king that can go before them and fight their battles.
God was the type of king that would lead them out of Egypt, split a sea in have, have them walk across on dry ground, lure their enemies into the sea, and have the water collapse on their enemies.
But Israel wants a human king that can go before them and fight their battles.
God was the type of king that when the Israelites got to a place called Jericho, one of the most fortified cities in that day, he would line his people up, tell them to just walk around the city once for six days and seven times on the seventh day, and on the seventh time blow a trumpet and shout and the walls came tumbling down without any of them lifting a finger.
But Israel wants a human king that can go before them and fight their battles.
Israel had the best King there ever was, but because they were so caught up in what everybody else was doing they couldn’t see that they were settling for less than what God had planned for them.
Listen, you can’t catch the vision that God has planned for your life by staring at someone else’s.
The moment we begin to compare ourselves with other people, is the moment we begin to limit what God wants to do in our lives.
And it’s important to know that settling for less doesn’t always look less.
And it’s important to know that settling for less doesn’t always look less.
You see this a lot when it comes to college students deciding on a major or making a career choice. There are some people that God has planned to be Engineers and Accountants and Businessmen and Doctors and Lawyers and they are living the best life that God has called them to live. But then there are some other people that are great artists and great cooks and great musicians and great speakers and great writers, but then they settle for being a doctor or a lawyer, making a lot of money, but miserable because they are not living the best life God called them to live. Less don’t always look like less.
Or because we have placed marriage on such a pedestal, as if single people are not complete without being married to someone, single people begin to look at all of their married friends having babies.
All I’m trying to say is that comparing ourselves to others can cause to settle for less.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy, insecurity, & anger.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy, insecurity, & anger.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy, insecurity, & anger.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy, insecurity, & anger.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy, insecurity, & anger.
In , David has just slain the nine foot giant named Goliath. Everybody is happy and excited and even Saul the king at the time begins to take his equipment and sword and gives it to David. Everybody is shouting “Go David, Go David!” And King Saul is like “Go David, Go David.”
But then all the girls started singing “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his ten thousands.”
And all of a sudden Saul is like wait a minute! “They said I have slain thousands, but David ten thousands.” And this made Saul jealous, insecure and angry. And because of this, Saul spent the rest of his life trying to kill David.
6 It happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments. 7 The women sang as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.” 8 Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on. 10 Now it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house, while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. 11 Saul hurled the spear for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David escaped from his presence twice.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy & insecurity.
Comparing ourselves to others can lead to jealousy & insecurity.
Don’t Let What Everyone Else IS Doing, Stop You From being You
Don’t Let What Everyone Else IS Doing, Stop You From being You
1 Samuel 18:6-
You see you have to be careful in comparing yourself with other people, because when jealousy and insecurity and anger starts to come over you, you can began to spend and waste your life trying to put people down in order to make yourself feel better. So instead of being focused on what God is trying to do in your life, you spend your life mad at what God is doing in someone else’s.
And what got me about this situation is that all the jealousy and the insecurity and the anger didn’t start with Saul comparing himself to David, but it started with other people comparing Saul to David. Saul was cool with David. He was happy that David defeated Goliath. He didn’t have a problem with David. It wasn’t until the girls start singing how Saul only slain a thousand and David slain ten thousand, that it became an issue.
Listen you can’t stop people from comparing you to other people. You can’t stop your parents from comparing you to your siblings or your cousins, but what you can control is being the best you that God has created you to be.
Allowing what other people think about you to drive you to a life of jealousy, insecurity and anger is not what God has for you.
And so what have we learned so far?
We have learned that comparing ourselves to others can lead to us having an inflated view of self.
We have learned that comparing ourselves to others can make us settle for less.
We have learned that comparing ourselves to others can lead jealousy, insecurity and anger.
So the question is what thing we can do moving forward?
One Thing We Can Do Moving Forward
One Thing We Can Do Moving Forward
One Thing We Can Do Moving Forward
One Thing We Can Do Moving Forward
Don’t allow what other people are doing or not doing impact what God wants to do in your life. Follow Jesus.
In Peter has already denied Jesus three times, Jesus has been crucified and has resurrected from the dead. Peter decides to go fishing and some of the disciples decide to go with him. They try to fish, but the catch nothing. And early that morning a voice standing on the shores sees that they have caught no fish and he says “Children, have you caught no fish?” They said “No.” He says “Cast your net on the right side of the boat and you will find a catch.” And when they did, they caught so many fish that they couldn’t pull it up.
Now before I go any further, it is important to note that Peter and John might have been in a little competition with each other when it came to Jesus. And John, who is also the writer of this gospel, was humble that he often referred to himself in third-person and as the one who Jesus loved. And so John writes, the one who Jesus loves (referring to himself), says to Peter (nevermind the other disciples) that the voice on the shore “It is the Lord.” It is as if John wants to make sure that we all know that the one who noticed that it was him who noticed it was Jesus first.
But then John, who is also the writer of this gospel, and who so humbly refers to himself in third-person and as the one who Jesus loves. He says the disciple that Jesus loved
But Peter and John have two different responses. Peter puts on his clothes and jumps into the water and rushes towards Jesus, while John and the other disciples get a small boat and head to shore. And John wants to point out that the reason why they got into the boat and not jumped into the water like Peter was because they wasn’t that far from the shore.
Can you imagine the type of comments that John could have told Peter when they go to shore. Peter why you jump in the water? It’s not even that’s serious. We wasn’t even that far away from the shore. Now you all soaked and wet and got to dry off. That was stupid.
But guess what, when they get tot he shore, Jesus feeds them breakfast and after breakfast, Jesus doesn’t single out John or any of the other disciples, but he singles out Peter.
And he ask Peter, Do you love me more these? In other words, do you love me more than these disciples. And Peter says “Lord you know all things. You know that I love you. And Jesus says, Feed my sheep. A second time, Jesus asks Peter, do you love me? And Peter says “Lord you know all things. You know that I love you. And Jesus says, Feed my sheep. A third time Jesus asks Peter, do you love me? And Peter says “Lord you know all things. You know that I love you. And Jesus says, Feed my sheep.
And Jesus tells Peter that when he was younger he could dress himself and go wherever he wanted, but when he gets old, someone else would dress him, his hands will be stretched out and he would be led to a place he does not want to go. And Jesus said this to signify Peter’s death and how it would bring glory to him. And Jesus finished his statement by telling Peter “Follow me.”
But instead of Peter just saying “Yes, I will follow you,” the text says Peter turned around and saw John, the one who Jesus loved and asked Jesus, but what about him.
And Jesus responds to Peter by saying “Even if I allow him to live until I come back again, what is that to you?” Follow Me.
And there are some people listening to me right now whom God has given you vision and direction, but because you are staring at somebody else’s life, you’re stuck where you are at.
But I’ve come to tell you what Jesus told Peter. Don’t worry about what I’m doing in John’s life. What does that have to do with you?
So what they got a new car and you’ve been driving the same one for the past ten years. What does that have to do with you. Follow Jesus.
So what they got the new iPhone and you still have the iPhone 6. What does that have to do with you. Follow Jesus.
So what everyone is wearing this and wearing that. What does that have to do with you? Follow Jesus.
So what if they had easier than you did. What does that have to do with you? Follow me.
So what if all your friends make more money than you do. What does that have to do with you? Follow Jesus.
So what they got accepted to that college, but what does that have to do with you?
So what all of your friends are married or booed up, but what does that have to do with you? Follow Jesus.
Because when you follow Jesus, you won’t have an inflated view of yourself because you will be comparing yourself to Jesus.
So what all of your friends are married or booed up, but what does that have to do with you?
When you follow Jesus, you will never settle for less, because Jesus’s plan for your life is always more than what you can come up with.
When you follow Jesus, your life will not be led by jealousy insecurity and anger because you be focused on what God is doing in your life instead of mad at what God is doing in someone else’s.
Don;t worry about John. What is that to you? Follow Jesus.
15 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” 16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep. 18 “Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to go.” 19 Now this He said, signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me!” 20 Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; the one who also had leaned back on His bosom at the supper and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” 21 So Peter seeing him said to Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” 22 Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!”
John 21:15-22
15 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” 16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep. 18 “Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to go.” 19 Now this He said, signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me!”
:
I don’t have time to be comparing myself to other people because I don’t want to began to have an inflated of myself and lose my drive and urgency to grow. I need to Follow Jesus.
I don’t have time to be comparing myself to other people because I don’t want to run of the risk of settling for less than what God has for my life. I need to Follow Jesus.
I don’t have time to be comparing myself to other people because I don’t want to spend my life being jealous and insecure and angry about what God is doing in somebody else’s life. I need to follow Jesus.
Can you imagine someone being timid as a preacher
Comparing Ourselves to people What You Love Can Determine Purpose (Do you love me? Purpose- Feed my sheep)
John: An Introduction and Commentary B. Jesus and Peter (21:15–19)
After sharing breakfast with all seven disciples, Jesus singled Peter out and asked him whether he loved him more than ‘these’. Jesus could have been asking whether Peter loved him (1) more than the other disciples who were present did; (2) more than he loved those other disciples; (3) more than the large catch of fish, the boats and fishing gear. The second is unlikely because there is no mention elsewhere of Peter’s love for the other disciples. The third is possible if one thinks that Peter’s decision to go fishing (21:3) represented a turning away from Jesus to go back to his old trade. If this is unlikely, then the first option is to be preferred, remembering that Peter had been the most forward in asserting his dedication to Jesus (13:37–38; cf. Matt. 26:33).
Illustration: Follow Me -
At the count of three, the person that can get to them first, can have the five dollars. John you can do whatever you want to do, but Peter, I need you to keep your hand on my shoulder and follow me.
I’m frustrated because I’m following Jesus, but its not getting the results as ’m frustrated because God had me go a much longer route in order to get something.