Love Strong As Death

Introduction

Please turn with me in your Bibles to the Song of Songs chapter 8. We’re be narrowing our attention to verses 5-7 this evening.

This is the Word of the Lord,

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Who is that coming up from the wilderness,

leaning on her beloved?

Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you;

there she who bore you was in labor.

6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal upon your arm,

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

>>the very flame of the LORD.<<

7 Many waters

cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

- Prayer -

One of my favorite things about my wife is how much she loves to try new things. She loves variety. She loves adventure. She gets excited to go to a new restaurant, or to go to the same old restaurant and get something that she’s never tried before.

I, however, could not be more different. I know what I like. It’s tried and true. When I go to an ice cream shop, and a hundred flavor options are available to me, guess which one I’ll choose. Vanilla. I’ve had Vanilla ice cream with Vanilla cake and Vanilla fronting on my birthday for all but one birthday that I can remember — and that birthday was a huge mistake.

Believe it or not, I’ve ordered the same sub from Subway since I was in Jr. High — I’ve actually only tried one sub, with the exact same toppings. If I get a pizza, It’s always going to be pepperoni and bacon, a sold choice for sure, but the only one I could ever imagine ordering for myself. I like the same order at the same coffee shop, the same seat at church, and the same songs while I’m driving.

Why? because I know that I like it. And why change up something that I like? You never know, maybe if I try something new, it won’t be as good, and I’ll wish that I was eating Vanilla the whole time.

But there have been times in my life where I’ve been forced out of my rhythm of the ordinary to try new things. And while there have been times that I’ve been disappointed, for the most part, new things aren’t as bad as I was expecting.

Pineapple on pizza for example, surprisingly good.

I tried ranch instead of ketchup one time for my dipping sauce and now I’m hooked.

There really is a world of flavors and new things out there to be discovered. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be forced to try one or two more of them before I die.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be forced to try one or two more of them before I die.

When it comes to the Song of Solomon, I think that, maybe, many of us feel similarly. The Song is “something new” for many of us. It’s strange and unknown. I think many of us are comfortable just sticking with Paul, and if we want variety we might try a major prophet every once in a while. But this book, this book is outside of our “vanilla-preference” when it comes to Bible reading.

I doubt anyone here would say in all seriousness that the Song of Solomon is their go-to book when they just open up their Bible, unsure of what to read.

However, surprisingly, while this book is often neglected in pulpits and bible studies, it opens in chapter 1 verse 1 with a declaration, this is the Song of Songs, this is a Hebrew way of saying “this is the greatest song.” Think about elsewhere in the Bible where this same formula is used like the “holy of holies” or calling Jesus the “king of kings” and “lord of lords.” The writer claims that of all songs, this one is the greatest. And it deserves our special attention.

And while this book is often neglected in pulpits and bible studies, it opens in chapter 1 verse 1 with a declaration, this is the Song of Songs, this is a Hebrew way of saying “this is the greatest song.” Think about elsewhere in the Bible where this same formula is used like the “holy of holies” or calling Jesus the “king of kings” and “lord of lords.” The writer claims that of all songs, this one is the greatest. It deserves our special attention.

This book is given to us as wisdom literature, a genre gifted to us by God to help us know how living to the glory of God is carried out in the ins and outs of every day life. It speaks to us in examples and imagery. And it seeks to affect us in ways that narratives and epistles never could.

While

And while Proverbs as wisdom literature is given to us to help us to understand what wise-living looks like in all kinds of contexts and situations, this book focuses how to think rightly about love, sex, and marriage.

Wisdom literature is given to us to help us know how living to the glory of God is carried out practically in the ins and outs of every day life.

This book was likely written by Solomon towards the end of his life, as he reflects upon all of the mistakes he’s made in his marriages and sexual partners, and he writes about an idealized couple, not a perfect couple, but a couple who should be a model to all marriages East of Eden.

And while that might at first seem strange to us, to think about God talking to us about our sexuality, actually, it would be strange if God never addressed this topic in Scripture. God created us by design as sexual beings, with desires and cravings that didn’t come to us after , but before it. And God in his kindness has given us 8 chapters of wise counsel on how to think about this important and all pervasive topic.

This book was likely written by Solomon towards the end of his life, as he reflects upon all of the mistakes he’s made in his marriages and sexual partners, and he writes about an idealized couple, not a perfect couple, but a couple who should be a model to all marriages East of Eden.

And more than that, this greatest of all songs, when we look at it in the context of the whole Bible’s storyline, while the story of Scripture looks forward to the reconciliation of all relationships broken in , the Song of Solomon celebrates the amazing reality that a foretaste of that restored intimacy can be experienced and enjoyed today in the context and commitment of marriage between a man and a woman.

This book was likely written by Solomon towards the end of his life, as he reflects upon all of the mistakes he’s made in his marriages and sexual partners, and he writes about an idealized couple, not a perfect couple, but a couple who should be a model to all marriages East of Eden.

Yes, this book is not Vanilla flavored, but it is very good, and it’s worth our attention.

Funnel to Context

Our specific text this evening comes at the highpoint, the climax of our book, and in it, our Lord gently confronts us and shepherds us towards his ideal for love in our lives.

To the married, this text confronts us in our discouragement in our marriage and thoughts of unfaithfulness. And it gently reminds us of truths that will bolster love and commitment even in the hardest of times.

To the single, it provides a helpful example of faithful commitment and gives further reason to listen to the advice of the woman in this song to “not awaken or stir up love until it pleases.”

To all of us, it reminds us that marriage and love are good gifts from God, gifts that he both bestows and protects by his sovereign will.

The God who, as John reminds us, is love, graciously invites people to experience love and to persevere in love.

So let’s come to this text expecting God to meet us in whatever context we find ourselves, and let’s anticipate his gracious prevision of green pastures and still waters.

And as we do, we’ll find that this text has three specific themes that are repeated over and over again, in no specific order, and the repetition of these themes work together to give us a grand picture of love.

First, we’ll see pictures of love being strengthened and preserved in suffering

Second, we’ll see that love is bigger than any couple.

And third, we’ll see pictures of love calling for exclusive fidelity.

Let’s begin in verse 5.

“Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?”

This climatic verse of the Song of Songs opens with a choir who have been referred to as the Daughters of Jerusalem throughout this song have observed and celebrated the love this couple have for one another. And as they open up this verse, they draw our attention once again to the man and woman who have been featured throughout this song.

And in this picture, the Daughters observe this couple coming up together out of the wilderness accompanying one another. The composer here uses Exodus imagery to paint a picture of these two lovers. For Israel, the wilderness was a place which both tested and sealed their relationship with God. It was in the wilderness that Israel both doubted the goodness of the Lord, and they entered into a covenant with the Lord. It was the place where they suffered, and where they first were united with the Lord who came to dwell in their midst. And after their long and treacherous journey together, the Lord and Israel both came up out of the wilderness together into the promised land. And while this wilderness was a difficult place of testing for Israel, God through the prophet Hosea would look back on this time and say that it was in the wilderness that he allured her and spoke tenderly to her. And afterwords, both Israel and the Lord together came up from the wilderness and entered into the promised land, not as strangers, but as covenant partners.

And the same is true of this couple. They too have come out of a wilderness, the place of wondering and danger, and into the safety of the promised land together. This is reminiscent of chapter 5 verse 1 of the Song where the couples describes their coming together in sexual union as coming into “a garden” where they shared a meal of milk and honey.

First, they are coming up from the wilderness.

But let us not forget that for this couple, like Israel, this entrance into the promised land together has come because of and through the hardships of the wilderness. This mentioning of the wilderness, it begins a themes which will continue through this section of suffering in marriage.

This verse gives us eyes of faith to see that the trials and sufferings that come into our lives because of our marriage do not come to divide us, they don’t come from a God who seeks our harm and heartache, but they come that we would experience deeper affection and deeper union with one another. God brings dry seasons and wildernesses into our experience that we might experience to a greater degree the gift of love. So it was with Israel and the Lord, so it is in our experience, and so it is with this couple, as you can see in this verse, the man and women do not come up from the wilderness grumbling and hard, but tender towards one another, and she leans upon him.

The wilderness has not crushed this couple, but has developed a dependency and shared intimacy. And together they return again to the promised land, tested and, as a result, more deeply committed to one another.

It’s with this backdrop that the choir fades out, and the spotlight focuses our attention on the woman who bursts forth in a joyous solo.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you;

there she who bore you was in labor.

The woman begins her song by drawing our attention to an apple tree. This is likely not a literal apple tree that the couple saw in passing. Instead, the woman is likely calling to mind her words to the man in chapter 2 where she spoke of her sexual desire for the man: there she described the man as an apple tree under whose shade she desired to rest and whose fruit she desired to eat. But the metaphor here has changed from when we first read it, now she refers to the apple tree as the place where the couple’s love was first aroused and their desire for one another was fulfilled. She reminds her husband of their own adhering to her advice throughout the book to not awaken love until the proper time and celebrates with her husband the joy of that interment moment.

And let us not forget the context of here, it is as our couple comes out of the wilderness together that she calls to mind the mutual joys of their wedding night. This tender moment between the couple comes out of deep suffering. But they have emerged joyful, loving, and reminiscent.

The woman here is also reminding us of her advice to the Daughters of Jerusalem throughout this Song, that they not awaken love until the proper time.

And as we continue reading, the woman reminds her husband that there is further significance to the apple tree. In experiencing love for one another, this couple is taking part in something bigger than themselves, this text will have more to say about that as we continue, but for now it gives us a hint — she says that this love they experience is bigger than them, it’s a multi-generational experience. Their parents also know that it is like to be under the apple tree, as do their parents, as do their parents. Love came before them, and love will exist long after they are gone.

There’s more on that to come, but for now, let’s continue on to verse 6.

The woman makes a request from this man.

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.”

As these two contemplate the wonders of this love they have entered into together, she looks up at him and requests that she be his exclusive and only love. To mark that love with an official seal. Much like our wedding rings today are external symbols of faithfulness to one another, so she asks him to seal himself off from all others and to externally display that commitment to her alone.

And while these words may sound much like marriage vows, I don’t think a wedding is in mind here when we hear these words. And this isn’t to say that they haven’t already experienced exclusivity in their relationship, for she has already said “my beloved is mine and I am his” and “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” Rather, while the man and women already share the covenant bond, the woman asks for him to give her further assurance of his love for her; she desires closer union and closer fellowship, for him to take her as his own and his only once again.

While the man and women already share the covenant bond, the woman asks for him to give her further assurance of his love for her, she desires closer union and fellowship, for him to take her as his own and his only.

And lest we misunderstand,

Reflections on Canticles; or, The Song of Solomon Canticles 8

A prayer for closer union follows: “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm.”

This is like a spouses playfully saying to one another “let’s get married” as an expression of their ongoing interest and affection. Or a spouse promising to always wear their wedding ring, never taking it off. But it’s also more than that. This is an expression of a deep longing and desire to be the only woman this man has his eyes on. It’s to say that this is settled and there’s no turning back.

In wanting him to mark her on his heart, she wants all of his affections to be unwaveringly loving towards her, not even a hint of emotional swaying in his affection towards her.

In wanting him to mark her on his arm, she wants all of his actions to show that she alone is the object of his affection.

Putting these two together, she is saying that she wants everything that he is, inside and out, physically, emotionally, spiritually, wholly dedicated to her alone.

She then gives the reason for her request:

English Standard Version Chapter 8

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

>>the very flame of the LORD.<<

7  Many waters

cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

This section is perhaps likely the most memorable and intense expression and example of love in the entire Song. The woman grounds her request for his unwavering affection in the very nature of love itself.

First, she compares the strength of love to death. Death is irreversible and irresistible. Death cannot be escaped, it’s a determined force that never lets go those who its grasped. Just as those who have experienced death can never break its hold, so the woman desires love to hold her and her husband together irreversibly.

This is an incredible claim to make: love is irresistible, resolute, and unshakable.

But she’s not done. In the next line she moves from love to jealousy. And the emphasis here is the same as before: there is a single-minded, undistracted, unshakable devotion to something, something that is mine and nobody else’s.

Just as death

Now when we normally think about jealousy, negative ideas likely come to mind. I think that we’ve all been jealous of someone else’s talents, or jobs, or success, or looks, or intelligence.

Or maybe you think of memories from your childhood of feeling jealous of a friend’s toys or games. We spend a lot of time in our home trying to teach our daughter to share and to be happy for others when they have things that they enjoy.

But there’s another important lesson here: there are some things in live that it would be inappropriate to share, and it’s righteous to feel jealousy in these situations. Affectionate looks. Emotional intimacy. Thoughts and feelings of covenant betrayal.

So is that what the Song has in mind here? I don’t think so.

To come at it another angle, this jealous is not of someone or of something, but for someone. It’s a right jealousy because it’s not centered around a desire for something someone doesn’t have but wishes that they had, but it’s an unyielding, unspeakable desire for someone who is already yours.

This idea of righteous jealousy comes up often in the Old Testament in God’s relationship with Israel, when she would forsake him to worship other gods. It’s a righteous and holy response to anything that threatens to disrupt the covenant relationship and distract from single-minded devotion. And when God’s people provoke him to jealousy, he always response with desire to restore and rescue the relationship: his jealousy doesn’t move him to “get even” or to sulk or any other sinful response we associate often associate with jealousy. His jealousy moves him to action to find his bride and bring her home to be with him again.

There’s comfort to be found here, that if we are ever tempted towards unfaithfulness in our marriage covenant, God has given us our spouse, and at times moves them to jealousy for us, so that we would be warned and driven to further faithfulness. If you’ve ever experienced this holy jealousy in your spouse, be thankful for it. And if you ever feel it for your marriage because something threatens it, know that this is is a righteous thing, and it’s given by God to help provoke your spouse towards further faithfulness.

These images: a seal, love and death, jealousy and the grave, they work together to make one point: in the context and covenant of marriage, complete and total fidelity is required. And it’s clear from this context that physical fidelity is not the only thing in mind, but, as Jesus said, the person who looks at another with lust is unfaithful.

And let us once again remember the context here once again, this woman is saying this to her husband as they come up from the wilderness together. These aren’t idealized words spoken from the philosophical tower, divorced from real life experiences. It’s spoken by a woman who know what suffering in and through marriage looks and feels like.

And she emerges saying with confidence and conviction that Love itself, by its very nature, is exclusive. It doesn’t have a wondering thought, eyes for another, or seek emotional escapism. This kind of love doesn’t trade its partner for a magazine, or a website, or a romance novel, or a day dream. It doesn’t think about how easy life would be “if only I were single again.” It is resolutely dedicated to one person, forever. It means that your spouse holds you, physically, emotionally, spiritually, completely, and no one else.

This is what she asks of her husband, that she would once again feel like his exclusive, his only love. That his love for her be as resolute and as irreversible as death itself. As Paul will later say in the New Testament, “Love never fails.”

And as we continue to the next line of the song, we transition again from love’s call to exclusivity again to another picture that love is bigger than any couple and that love can endure any suffering.

“Its flashes are flashes of fire,

The very flame of the Lord.

Many waters cannot quench love,

Neither can floods drown it.”

The woman gives to us another picture of love, comparing it to a fire, a fire that cannot be put out, no matter what opposition comes against it. And this flame, it’s not a small, tame flame, it’s as intense as God himself.

There’s more exodus imagery here I believe. In comparing love to “the very flame of the Lord,” she is referencing where God revealed himself to Moses through a burning bush, a bush that burns, but is never consumed. A self-enduring, self-sustaining, never ending flame. This is the closest we get in the Old Testament to the New Testament revelation that “God is love.” Love is so interwoven and essential to the very nature of God himself that an appropriate analogy is a burning flame which itself is a metaphor for the very nature of God. To say it another way, love exists because God exists. love is mysterious, enduring, “bigger than any couple.” And, in comparing love to the nature of God, there’s an expansion on the picture from earlier, love is not only “strong as death,” it is “strong than death” it overpowers and outlives even death itself.

And the Song uses this amazing picture of love to encourage us again that love is perseveres through suffering. “Many waters cannot quench love.” Love is a flame that cannot be put out, even by water, the natural enemy of fire. There is a picture here of a flame that’s not only been subjected to water, but is under water, inside a river, water rushing over it, but not quenching it. This section of Scripture flies in the face of a phrase we hear often in our culture, “the love is just gone.” Love doesn’t disappear. It isn’t tied to our experiences. It’s outside of us, and because of that, it can never be quenched.

After coming up and out of the wilderness with her beloved, this is how the woman understands love: as a flame that can never be put out, no matter what comes its way. Trials and pressures may have tried to drown out our love, but it failed. Love remains because love is inextinguishable because love is bigger than any couple. As Paul would say later “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” Feelings come and go, but love endures forever, unmoved, and resolute.

And it is because of all this. Because love is strong as death. Because jealousy is fierce, because love is a fire that can never be put out, because of all this, the woman asks that her beloved set her as a seal upon his heat, as a seal upon his arm.

And this should encourage us greatly. Because the example in this book and the request this woman makes, it’s not to muster up something within ourselves, it’s to take love, to cling to it, and to cling to her exclusively, and, by implication, to cling to the God who himself is love.

This section then closes with one more picture showing us that love is bigger than any couple,

“if a man offered for love

all the wealth of his house,

he would be utterly despised.”

Love cannot be bought. To even try to do so is foolish. Solomon himself stands in contrast to this both in his gaudy display of his wealth in chapter 3, and in the woman’s response to his trying to buy her love at the end of this chapter. She looks at him and says “you, O Solomon, can keep your thousands. My vineyard is my very own.” Love can’t be bargained for or purchased, even with Solomon’s wealth. Its power cannot be harnessed or manipulated, it’s bigger than that and it’s stronger than that. To think that love can be purchased is to misunderstand the very nature and source of love itself.

And it’s because of this that the woman says to her beloved, “set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.”

Love in its essence is not about how compatible two people are for one another, or a romantic feeling, or personal happiness; it’s about exclusive, faithful, lifelong commitment. And the result of that commitment, is a bride coming up from the wilderness, lovingly and gently leading on her beloved.

This text is a call to treat our spouses lovingly and to remain faithful to them alone, even in the midst of suffering, conflict, and pain. This passage elevates marriage from a pursuit of personal pleasure and happiness, to a pursuit of one another, a pursuit of love itself, and a pursuit of God. It’s a call to endure the many waters that threaten your marriage and trust that God is using those waters to bring you closer to one another, to cultivate further and greater experiences of love. It shows to us that love is a long-term pursuit with long-term benefits in mind rather than immediate pleasures. It’s a long-term investment, not an impulsive day-trade. It presents marriage as a marathon rather than a sprint. And in the midst of suffering, this passage encourages us and holds out to us the picture of this couple, coming out of the wilderness closer to one another than ever before.

Because love is strengthened and preserved in suffering; love is bigger than any couple; and love calls for exclusive fidelity.

Second, we’ll see that love is bigger than any couple.

And third, we’ll see pictures of love calling for exclusive fidelity.

But it does more than this as well. It not only holds out as an example this couple in the song, it points us also to the example of Jesus himself.

The Apostle Paul, in the book of Ephesians, looks back at the marriage of Adam and Eve and says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

And if Paul finds reason to read this short text about marriage as a type, how much more so should we read the Song of Songs this way?

Weary Christian, know this, your Savior holds you and loves you with a strong and faithful love that is stronger than death. And though you may say with David in , “The waves and the billows are gone over me,” Christ says in response “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

No distress, no trial can quench his love for you. His love for you can endure many strong waters. Think of , “Having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.” He loves us through everything, to the very end.

He loved Peter through his denial.

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

He loved David through his adultery.

He loved Israel through her Idolatry.

He loved Moses though his questioning.

He loved Abraham through his lies.

He loved Naomi through her doubts.

And, Christian, he loves you through everything. His love is completely and utterly unfailing towards us.

Know, no matter what comes, that our names are graven on his hands, our names are written on his hearts. Remember the words of ,

English Standard Version Chapter 49

15  “Can a woman forget her nursing child,

that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget,

yet I will not forget you.

16  Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

Our names are indelibly engraved upon his affections.

And trust also in our Savior’s ability to maintain our love for him, even when the sufferings of this life threaten to remove our love for him, know that many saints that have come before us have had flood waters and deeps wash over their souls without the divine love burning within them being quenched.

Let us then, lovingly lean on the chest of our Beloved Savior, not partially, but fully, with everything we are, for he cares for us. Our Savior is ever strong where we are weak, and he is present to comfort us in all of our affliction. For his love for his own is eternal, and inextinguishable.

The day will come when the trails and sufferings of this life are over, and we will enter into the promised land leading on the chest of our Beloved Savior. Our lives are characterized by pilgrimage, by weakness, by dependence — but our Savior is ever strong where we are weak, and he is present to comfort us in our affliction. And we will enjoy that never ending comfort with him in heaven.

Let us then, lovingly lean on the chest of our Beloved Savior. For our Savior is ever strong where we are weak, and he is present to comfort us in all of our affliction.

And know this, the day will come when the trails and sufferings of this life will be over, and we will enter into the promised land leaning on the chest of our Beloved Savior. Our Savior is ever strong where we are weak, and he is present to comfort us in our affliction. And we will enjoy that never ending comfort with him in heaven.

We move every day closer to the promised land.

Persevere in your love for Christ. Do not lift your head from leading on him, for your name is indelibly engraved upon his affections:

English Standard Version Chapter 49

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

your walls are continually before me.

English Standard Version Chapter 49

15  “Can a woman forget her nursing child,

that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget,

yet I will not forget you.

16  Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

15  “Can a woman forget her nursing child,

that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Still, let us press for further communion with him, for further assurance of his love for us.

Even these may forget,

For many generations, followers of Christ have felt the birth-panes you now feel, but their sorrow has been turned to joy.

yet I will not forget you.

For many generations, followers of Christ have felt the birth-panes you now feel, but their sorrow has been turned to joy.

And though human love may be strong as death, the love of Christ for his bride conquers death for “neither death nor live is able to separate us from the love of God witch is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

16  Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; For many generations, followers of Christ have felt the birth-panes you now feel, but their sorrow has been turned to joy.

English Standard Version Chapter 16

You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. 21 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. 22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.

And though human love may be strong as death, the love of Christ for his bride conquers death for “neither death nor live is able to separate us from the love of God witch is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

When dying on the cross, death did not remove the church from the heart of Christ, but he more the panes of death in our place so that now ....