Session 6 Hate Your Family
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Introduction
Introduction
Chapter 13 ended with the Pharisees warning Jesus to leave so Herod would not kill him. Ironically, chapter 14 begins with Jesus eating in the home of a Pharisee. Chapter 14 then describes the conflict between Pharisees and Jesus and between the crowds of the world and Jesus in regard to the purpose of life.
The Pharisees saw life as abiding by the rules that God had set out. The crowds saw life as pursuit of fame, fortune, acceptance, and family ties. Jesus used the banquet image to show that the aim of life is to die and participate in God’s heavenly banquet. Such death involves death to self, religious tradition, family, and worldly values.
Context: Chapter 13 ended with the Pharisees warning Jesus to leave so Herod would not kill him. Ironically, chapter 14 begins with Jesus eating in the home of a Pharisee. Chapter 14 then describes the conflict between Pharisees and Jesus and between the crowds of the world and Jesus in regard to the purpose of life. The Pharisees saw life as abiding by the rules that God had set out. The crowds saw life as pursuit of fame, fortune, acceptance, and family ties. Jesus used the banquet image to show that the aim of life is to die and participate in God’s heavenly banquet. Such death involves death to self, religious tradition, family, and worldly values. It calls for humility to live life in service to the needy, preparing for fellowship with them in the kingdom banquet. Dedicated disciples count the cost of rejecting worldly values. Then they take up the cross and march with Jesus toward death.
It calls for humility to live life in service to the needy, preparing for fellowship with them in the kingdom banquet. Dedicated disciples count the cost of rejecting worldly values. Then they take up the cross and march with Jesus toward death.
The world’s values have changed little. We still calculate our actions on the basis of what other people will think and how our actions will gain reward and repayment from others.
As we try to impress others, Jesus tries to impress on us the need to count the cost and follow him. As you study Luke 14 you may be shocked at the radical sacrifices it calls on you to make. Remember, if they seem too radical, then you have not counted the cost and have not truly taken up a cross to follow Jesus.
14:25–35. Even though large crowds followed Jesus (14:25), Jesus’ attention was on His own disciples. “Jesus wants those who are contemplating a relationship with Him to know what it means” (Bock, Luke, 1283). In His teaching to them He instilled several principles of true discipleship. The principle of “first loyalty” (14:26) is that devotion to Jesus must take precedence over all others. Jesus’ saying that His disciples are to hate their own relatives probably has the idea of “in comparison to their overriding devotion to Christ.” “Discipleship is fundamentally a call to allegiance. Jesus is to have first place over all, including family” (Bock, Luke, 1284). Next is the principle of “cross bearing” (14:27). A disciple must be willing to suffer (see also the comments on Mt 10:34–38). This is complete commitment to Christ that sets aside all personal ambition and gives oneself to the third principle, “counting the cost” (14:28–32). One must plan ahead and serve Christ prudently. Jesus illustrated this principle using the example of the “imprudent builder” (14:28–30) who began but could not complete his project, and by the example of the “prudent king” (14:31–32) who came to terms with an enemy he could not defeat. Next is the principle of “sacrifice” (14:33). The disciple must be willing to give up all temporal goods in service to Christ. The principle of “being salt” (14:34–35a) reveals that disciples are to have an “influence” on the world and not the other way around. Finally, the principle of “hearing with one’s ears” (14:35b) indicates that disciples are to do more than “hear Jesus’ words.” They are to follow through on these principles in their daily lives.
Start with
Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
love less, formally, hate; a semitic comparison referring to divine choice of clans (+)
As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”
So what is Jesus really saying here? Compare this, , and what Jesus recounted to the Pharisees in . How do you explain this apparent contradiction?
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’
Jesus is using hyperbole—a figure of speech that relies on exaggeration to make a point. He is not encouraging His followers to turn against their family members; rather, He is explaining that even devotion to family does not supersede the call to discipleship. Jesus and God’s kingdom must come first in the life of a believer.
14:27 carry their cross. Those condemned to execution would often carry the horizontal beam of their cross (the patibulum) out to the site of their execution, through an often hostile and mocking mob. Ironically, Jesus’ disciples fail even in carrying Jesus’ cross, so that his executioners have to draft a bystander to carry it (23:26).
Similar hyperbole:
Jesus is using hyperbole—a figure of speech that relies on exaggeration to make a point. He is not encouraging His followers to turn against their family members; rather, He is explaining that even devotion to family does not supersede the call to discipleship. Jesus and God’s kingdom must come first in the life of a believer. Compare Matt 10:37 and note.
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Example of Nabeel Qureshi
Bearing the Cross
Bearing the Cross
Tie and to what Jesus is saying in these first two verses.
Tie and to what Jesus is saying in these first two verses.
1 But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, 3 for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?
You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
Following Jesus has consequences. It isolates and separates you from those closest to you. Dedication to Jesus means rejection of any who are not dedicated to him. Dedication to Jesus means rejecting self-interest and personal fortunes. Discipleship is a full-time commitment. Nothing should modify, interrupt, or compete with it.
Following Jesus has consequences. It isolates and separates you from those closest to you. Dedication to Jesus means rejection of any who are not dedicated to him. Dedication to Jesus means rejecting self-interest and personal fortunes. Discipleship is a full-time commitment. Nothing should modify, interrupt, or compete with it. (On hatred of family and self, see “Deeper Discoveries.”)
With death awaiting Him in Jerusalem, Jesus wants His disciples to understand that they may be subject to the same fate.
How do we apply this to us today?
Persons in the crowd who sought power, responsibility, food, health, fame, or fortune could quit now. Earthly rewards were not in view. Dedication to Christ is dedication to crucifixion. Rewards come only in the next world, with the resurrection (see 14:14).
How do we apply this to us today?
Persons in the crowd who sought power, responsibility, food, health, fame, or fortune could quit now. Earthly rewards were not in view. Dedication to Christ is dedication to crucifixion. Rewards come only in the next world, with the resurrection.
Hatred and denial are sister metaphors for total surrender to Christ. Our priorities are first to Him and second to the world.
Family must be secondary to Christ in true discipleship (14:26). The parallel in Matthew 10:37 has “anyone who loves their father or mother more than me,” but this is much stronger, with “hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life.” Of course, we have another example of rabbinic hyperbole, meaning that we love Jesus so much that our natural love for family and even for self is as if it were hate in comparison. In other words, this is strong imagery for a total commitment to Jesus and a desire to serve him completely. The normal interpretation of this as “love less than” is too weak. We are to be obsessed, consumed with Jesus. We don’t love our family less; we love Jesus more. A parallel is found in 9:23: “deny themselves and take up their cross daily.” Hatred and denial are sister metaphors for total surrender to Christ.
We die spiritually to self and the things of this world. In addition, it signifies a willingness to actually die for the name of Christ if need be. The verbs are present tense, meaning it is the continuous, “daily” practice of our lives. Christlikeness involves “participation in his sufferings” () as we go all the way with Jesus.
that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
Move on to
Move on to
28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.
When you first decided to accept Christ, did you weigh the cost or even see it as a commitment that meant change?
14:31–32 Sometimes armies defeated those with superior numbers, but whenever feasible they avoided engaging those who outnumbered them.
Jesus encourages His followers—as well as those in the crowd of pilgrims who had not yet become His disciples—to consider the great sacrifices involved in their decision.
14:28 Jesus encourages His followers—as well as those in the crowd of pilgrims who had not yet become His disciples—to consider the great sacrifices involved in their decision. This section is unique to Luke’s travel narrative.
How does relate to this?
And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”
Should we consider the context of then when evaluating the application for us now? Look at
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.
The disciples of Jesus then were most certainly on the road to isolation and death. Depending on where we are in the world today, the stakes may not be as high, but the commitment should be no less.
14:31–32. Here is another example: Consider a king ready to fight another nation. What’s his first action? He does not call up a single soldier until he has analyzed the odds. He considers his own resources and those of the enemy. Is he willing to fight the enemy with what he has? If not, then the battle is off. Send a peace delegation to make an agreement even if it involves surrender. Do not subject yourself to total defeat when you can foresee it from the beginning.
14:33. What does this mean when applied to the dedication of disciples? “Sit down and count the cost of discipleship,” Jesus says. “You must leave home and family and travel on mission for me. You must depend on those you meet and witness to for your food and necessities. Every material possession is left behind, with no thought of ever returning to reclaim it. Dedication is not to possessions. Dedication to Christ is dedication to life without material resources to fall back on. Ready to leave everything and follow? Give away your money? Say good-bye to family and friends? Pick up your cross.”
Parables on Counting the Cost (14:28–33)
There are two parables (vv. 28–30, 31–32) followed by an application (v. 33) that adds a third cost—possessions. In the first parable Jesus uses a construction metaphor on building a tower. This is a watchtower, a type of fortification designed to protect a large building or vineyard (like the tower of Antonia with the temple in Jerusalem). While it could be military, there is no indication of that in the text. It needs a foundation and so is quite large. First, the builder has to figure the expense of construction and decide if he has the resources to finish the project. Otherwise, everyone around would “ridicule” his foolish attempt to take on a project he “wasn’t able to finish.”
The point is that discipleship involves the same careful assessment of both your resources and your willingness to go all the way with Jesus. God demands a great deal of those who become Christ followers, and they must carefully count the cost and be sure they are willing to make the needed sacrifices to accept these demands.
When we fail in discipleship, we are not shamed before others but before God, and this will take place at the final judgment, when we stand before him and give account for our lives. This is as serious as it gets.
In the two parables Christ has addressed both family relationships and bearing the cross. Now he addresses a third area of consideration, personal possessions (14:33). This is the negative side of discipleship—not only commitment to Jesus but also renunciation of the things of this world. Again, Jesus states it quite strongly: “those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.” The price of membership in the community of Christ is everything you possess, a major Lukan theme (3:11–12; 5:11, 28; 8:3; 11:21; 12:15, 21, 33; 16:1–13, 19–31; 19:1–10; Acts 2:44–45; 4:32–34). The verb “give up” means to “renounce” or “bid farewell” to something formerly precious (9:61: “say goodbye to my family”). This was acted out in 5:11, 28, when the fishermen and Levi “left everything” to follow Jesus. As I have said frequently, wealth in itself is not wrong and in fact can be a gift from God (see on 12:21, 33). It is what you do with it that matters. Matthew the tax collector probably used his to help support the band of disciples.
Finish with
34 “Salt is good, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? 35 It is of no use either for the soil or for the manure pile. It is thrown away. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Get personal with this: What is an example from YOUR life that shows you might have either lost some saltiness or used your saltiness?
Jesus compares a disciple who does not live out the values of the kingdom with unsalty salt—salt that cannot fulfill its purpose.
Being salty like Christ is a prerequisite for the journey.
14:34 Salt was used as a preservative and for flavoring (compare Matt 5:13 and note).
14:35 Even tasteless salt could be harmful to soil in large quantities.
14:34–35. To sum it all up, you are called to be the salt of the earth, giving the flavor of Christ’s life and mission to everyone. If that’s not how you taste, they will never catch the flavor. Do not count on catching the flavor after you start the journey. Being salty like Christ is a prerequisite for the journey. If you do not have the salt flavor now, do not try to be a dedicated disciple of Christ. You are not even fit for the manure pile. You are useless to yourself, to Christ, and to everybody else. First, let Christ make salt of you. Then take up your cross and follow.
We are certainly quite aware of the danger of half-hearted discipleship, for we see it in every church. All too many Christians want to get to heaven and yet live for the things of earth in the meantime. They are perfectly willing to “get in by the skin of their teeth” and wish to sacrifice very little for Christ.
Salt was a precious commodity in the ancient world, not nearly as accessible as it is today, and used in a wide variety of areas—to flavor food, to preserve foods, as a fertilizer, and with grain offerings when sacrificing them as firstfruits (Lev 2:13). Yet how could it lose its saltiness? It does not really lose its properties as salt. Several solutions present themselves: Salt from the Dead Sea was often found to be insipid when it was found mixed with a substance called “carnalite” (does this have sermonic potential or what?) or gypsum. Also, unscrupulous sellers would sometimes mix it with fillers that would diminish its taste. At the same time, salt was used in ovens as a catalyst for fuel, and after several times it lost its usefulness and had to be replaced.
Jesus’ point is that when disciples allow the world to intrude and diminish their effectiveness for Christ, they have lost their “saltiness,” or value to the Lord. Verse 35 uses the image that such salt is “fit neither for the soil” (as a fertilizer) “nor for the manure pile” (as a preservative). The only thing left is to throw it away. How far do we take this image? There are three possibilities: expelled from the congregation, physical death (as in 1 Cor 11:30), or eternal punishment at the last judgment. Jesus does not explain further, and he may mean that God will decide which is appropriate given the circumstances. This is the most extreme form of discipleship failure, but Judas remains the primary example, and in a sense all three took place with him.
Jesus closes with his customary injunction to listen carefully (see 8:8 as well as Matt 11:15; 13:9, 43; Mark 4:23). It means in effect, “If you are willing to listen, you had better do so carefully” and emphasizes the importance of these key truths. We are certainly quite aware of the danger of half-hearted discipleship, for we see it in every church. All too many Christians want to get to heaven and yet live for the things of earth in the meantime. They are perfectly willing to “get in by the skin of their teeth” and wish to sacrifice very little for Christ. We must warn them regularly of the danger of playing games with their eternal destiny.
The salt sayings warn us not to allow self and the things of this world to diminish and remove our effectiveness as Christ followers. We are called by God to stand out from the rabble and make a difference in this world for him, and we must work very hard to remain change agents in the church and in the world.
The parable of the great banquet (vv. 15–24) is systemic in the sense that it describes the results of Jesus’ ministry thus far. His words and deeds in Galilee have been an invitation to the Jewish people to come to him, but they have not only refused the invitation but also insulted Jesus and his Father in the process. As a result, God has withdrawn his offer to the nation and invited only the righteous remnant who have responded to his Son and the Gentiles to participate in his messianic banquet in his new kingdom. The Jewish people are now unbelievers and outsiders to the family of God.
We must listen carefully to his word and to the kingdom truths it gives us and remain effective for Christ.
The salt sayings that close this section (vv. 34–35) warn us not to allow self and the things of this world to diminish and remove our effectiveness as Christ followers. We are called by God to stand out from the rabble and make a difference in this world for him, and we must work very hard to remain change agents in the church and in the world. We must listen carefully to his word and to the kingdom truths it gives us and remain effective for Christ.
To understand, we must see the assumptions behind what Jesus said. First, he assumed a conflict between what he wanted done and what the family wanted done. He saw a similar conflict between personal self-interest and Christ’s interests. Second, he used hyperbole to make his point. This means he expressed something in the most radical language possible in order to get us to hear what he said and to think it through. When conflict arises between personal desires or family desires and Christ’s mission, the disciple has no problem in knowing what to do.
MAIN IDEA REVIEW: Dedication to the kingdom reveals itself in a life that reverses the world’s values, surrendering self and position for persistent obedience to Christ and confident hope in the resurrection.
To understand, we must see the assumptions behind what Jesus said. First, he assumed a conflict between what he wanted done and what the family wanted done. He saw a similar conflict between personal self-interest and Christ’s interests. Second, he used hyperbole to make his point. This means he expressed something in the most radical language possible in order to get us to hear what he said and to think it through. When conflict arises between personal desires or family desires and Christ’s mission, the disciple has no problem in knowing what to do.
Jesus said that dedication to him meant hating family and even life itself. The church has spent much of its history trying to avoid or redefine the meaning of this term. The Greek word for hate (miseo) is a strong word that means to detest, persecute in hatred, abhor. Horst Seebass (NIDNTT, 1, 555) says miseo “connotes not only antipathy to certain actions, but also a permanent and deep-seated hostility towards other men or even the deity.” Jesus had already taught his disciples to “do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27). Later John would write, “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer” (1 John 3:15). How then, could Jesus command us to hate our brother?
Christ’s mission always takes precedence, no matter how serious the need of family. Nothing can be used as an excuse to refuse to do what Christ has called you to do.
To understand, we must see the assumptions behind what Jesus said. First, he assumed a conflict between what he wanted done and what the family wanted done. He saw a similar conflict between personal self-interest and Christ’s interests. Second, he used hyperbole to make his point. This means he expressed something in the most radical language possible in order to get us to hear what he said and to think it through. When conflict arises between personal desires or family desires and Christ’s mission, the disciple has no problem in knowing what to do. Christ’s mission always takes precedence, no matter how serious the need of family. Nothing can be used as an excuse to refuse to do what Christ has called you to do.