Love as Strong as Death

Josh Pannell

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Introduction

Please turn with me in your Bibles to the Song of Songs chapter 8. We’ll be narrowing our attention to verses 5-7 this evening.

This is the Word of the Lord,

Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved? Under the apple tree I awakened you. There your mother was in labor with you; there she who bore you was in labor. 6 Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, >>the very flame of the LORD.<< 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Scripture Reading:

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Who is that coming up from the wilderness,

leaning on her beloved?

Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you;

there she who bore you was in labor.

6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal upon your arm,

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

>>the very flame of the LORD.<<

7 Many waters

cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

If a man offered for love

all the wealth of his house,

he would be utterly despised.

- Prayer -

Prayer:

Opening Illustration:

One of my favorite things about my wife is how much she loves to try new things. She loves variety. She loves adventure. She gets excited to go to a new restaurant, or to go to the same old restaurant and get something that she’s never tried before.

I, however, could not be more different. I know what I like. It’s tried and true. When I go to an ice cream shop, and a hundred flavor options are available to me, guess which one I’ll choose every time. Vanilla. I’ve had Vanilla ice cream with Vanilla cake and Vanilla frosting on my birthday for all but one year that I can remember — and that year was a huge mistake.

Believe it or not, I’ve ordered the same sub from Subway since the first time I went in Jr. High — I’ve actually only tried one sub from Subway, with the exact same toppings every time. If I get a pizza, It’s always going to be pepperoni and bacon, a solid choice for sure, but the only one I could ever imagine ordering for myself. I like the same order at the same coffee shop, the same seat at church, and the same songs while I’m driving.

Why? because I know that I like it. And why change up something that I like? You never know, maybe if I try something new, it won’t be as good, and I’ll wish that I was eating Vanilla the whole time.

But there have been times in my life where I’ve been forced out of my rhythm of the ordinary to try new things. And while there have been times that I’ve been disappointed, for the most part, those new things aren’t as bad as I was expecting.

Pineapple on pizza for example, surprisingly good.

I tried ranch instead of ketchup one time for my dipping sauce and now I’m hooked.

There really is a world of flavors and new things out there to be discovered. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be forced to try one or two more of them before I die.

Funnel To The Context:

I, however, could not be more different. I know what I like. It’s tried and true. When I go to an ice cream shop, and a hundred flavor options are available to me, guess which one I’ll choose. Vanilla. I’ve had Vanilla ice cream with Vanilla cake and Vanilla fronting on my birthday for all but one birthday that I can remember — and that birthday was a huge mistake.

When it comes to the Song of Solomon, I think that, maybe, many of us feel something like this. The Song is “something new” for many of us. It’s strange and unknown. I think many of us are comfortable just sticking with Paul, and if we want variety we might try a major prophet every once in a while. But this book, this book is outside of our “vanilla-preference” when it comes to Bible reading.

I doubt anyone here would say in all seriousness that the Song of Solomon is their go-to book when they just open up their Bible, unsure of what to read.

However, surprisingly, while this book is often neglected in pulpits and bible studies, it opens in chapter 1 verse 1 with a declaration, this is the Song of Songs, a Hebrew way of saying “this is the greatest song.” Think about elsewhere in the Bible where this same formula is used like the “holy of hollies” or calling Jesus the “king of kings” and “lord of lords.” The writer claims that of all songs, this one is the greatest. And it deserves our special attention.

This book is given to us as wisdom literature, a genre gifted to us by God to help us know how living to the glory of God is carried out in the ins and outs of every day life. It speaks to us in examples and imagery. And it seeks to affect us in ways that narratives and epistles never could.

And while Proverbs as wisdom literature is given to us to help us to understand what wise-living looks like in all kinds of contexts and situations, this book focuses how to think rightly about love, sex, and marriage.

And while that might at first seem strange to us, to think about God talking to us about our relationships and our sexuality, actually, it would be strange if God never addressed this topic in Scripture. God created us by design as sexual beings, with desires and cravings that didn’t come to us after , but before it. And God in his kindness has given us 8 chapters of wise counsel on how to think about this important and all pervasive topic.

, but before it. And God in his kindness has given us 8 chapters of wise counsel on how to think about this important and all pervasive topic.

And more than that, this greatest of all songs, when we look at it in the context of the whole Bible’s storyline, while the story of Scripture looks forward to the reconciliation of all relationships broken in , the Song of Solomon celebrates the amazing reality that a foretaste of that restored intimacy can be experienced and enjoyed today in the context and commitment of marriage between a man and a woman.

, the Song of Solomon celebrates the amazing reality that a foretaste of that restored intimacy can be experienced and enjoyed today in the context and commitment of marriage between a man and a woman.

Yes, this book is not Vanilla flavored, but it is very good, and it’s worth our attention.

Our specific text for this evening comes at the climax of the book, and in it, our Lord gently comforts us in our suffering and carefully shepherds us further towards his ideas for love in our marriages.

To the married, this text confronts us in our discouragement with our marriages and confronts thoughts of complacency and unfaithfulness.

To the single, this text provides a helpful example of faithful commitment and gives further reason to listen to the advice of the woman repeated throughout this song, “do not awaken or stir up love until it’s time.”

To all of us, it reminds us that marriage and love are good gifts from God, gifts that he bestows and protects it by his kind and sovereign hand.

In this text, the God who, as John reminds us, is love, graciously invites people to experience love and to persevere in love.

So let’s come to this text expecting God to meet us in whatever context we find ourselves, and let’s anticipate his gracious provisions of green pastures and still waters.

First, let’s look at the basic structure of this passage:

This climatic verse of the Song of Songs opens with a choir observing and celebrating the love this couple have for one another. And as they open up this verse, they draw our attention once again to the man and woman who have been featured throughout this song.

It’s with this backdrop that the choir fades out, and the spotlight focuses our attention on the woman who bursts forth in a joyous solo.

She then gives the reason for her request in verses 6-7.

Finally, this section concludes with a negative example. A foil. Or, an example of someone who just doesn’t get it.

And as we do, I want to draw our attention to three themes which are repeated again and again in this text.

First, we’ll see pictures of love being strengthened and preserved in suffering.

Second, we’ll see pictures of love calling for exclusive fidelity

And third, we’ll see that love is bigger than any couple.

Believe it or not, I’ve ordered the same sub from Subway since I was in Jr. High — I’ve actually only tried one sub from Subway, with the exact same toppings evert time. If I get a pizza, It’s always going to be pepperoni and bacon, a sold choice for sure, but the only one I could ever imagine ordering for myself. I like the same order at the same coffee shop, the same seat at church, and the same songs while I’m driving.

Sermon Structure:

As we come to our text this evening, we must recognize that it is poetry. And we need to read it like poetry. Poetry speaks in pictures and metaphors to communicate its ideas. And it doesn’t always do so in a linear fashion. But it begins to build one theme, then it begins building building another, and then another. And by the time we get to the end of this passage, we see how these themes come together.

It’s with this backdrop that the choir fades out, and the spotlight focuses our attention on the woman who bursts forth in a joyous solo.

She then gives the reason for her request in verses 6-7.

Finally, this section concludes with a negative example. A foil. Or, an example of someone who just doesn’t get it.

So, in order to do each of these themes justice, and to not cause us to feel like we are jumping around back and forth between these different themes throughout the sermon, I’d like to begin by giving a basic overview of our text, then move into an examination of three themes from this text, and then show us how each of these themes applies to our lives and points us to Jesus and the gospel.

And as we do, I want to draw our attention to three themes which are repeated again and again in this text.

First, we’ll see pictures of love being strengthened and preserved in suffering.

Second, we’ll see pictures of love calling for exclusive fidelity

And third, we’ll see that love is bigger than any couple.

Body

An Overview of the Text:

So, first, let’s look at the basic structure of this passage:

Beginning in verse 5.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Who is that coming up from the wilderness,

leaning on her beloved?

This climatic verse of the Song of Songs opens with a choir observing and celebrating the love of a specific couple who are coming up from the wilderness together. In doing this, the choir seeks to draw our attention to the mutual love and affection this couple have for one another.

The composer here uses Exodus imagery to paint a picture of these two lovers. For Israel, the wilderness was a place which both tested and sealed their relationship with God. It was in the wilderness that Israel both doubted the goodness of the Lord, and they entered into a covenant with the Lord. It was the place where they suffered, and where they first were united with the Lord who came to dwell in their midst. And after their long and treacherous journey together, the Lord and Israel both came up out of the wilderness into the promised land together. And while this wilderness was a difficult place of testing for Israel, God through the prophet Hosea would look back on this time and say that it was in the wilderness that he allured Israel and spoke tenderly to her. And afterwords, both Israel and the Lord together came up from the wilderness and entered into the promised land, not as strangers, but as covenant partners.

And the same is true of this couple. They too have come out of a wilderness, the place of wondering and danger, and into the safety of the promised land together. This is reminiscent of chapter 5 verse 1 of the Song where the couples describes their coming together in sexual union as coming into “a garden” where they shared a meal of milk and honey.

As they come up from this place of testing, they aren’t bickering, but tender and affectionate towards one another. He supports her and she leans on him.

It’s with this backdrop that the choir fades out, and the spotlight focuses our attention on the woman who bursts forth in a joyous solo.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you;

there she who bore you was in labor.

She draws her husband’s attention to an apple tree which has significance both in their own relationship and in his parent’s relationship.

This is likely not a literal apple tree that the couple saw on the side of the road as they passed. Instead, the woman is likely calling to mind her words to the man in chapter 2 where she spoke of her sexual desire for the him: there she described him as an apple tree under whose shade she desired to rest and whose fruit she desired to eat. But the metaphor here has changed from when we first read it, now she refers to the apple tree as the place where the couple’s love was first aroused and their desire for one another was fulfilled. She reminds her husband of their own adhering to her advice throughout the book to not awaken love until the proper time and celebrates with her husband the joy of that intament moment. In her reminding him of the apple tree, she reminds him of their wedding night.

As these two contemplate the wonders of this love they have entered into together, in verse 6, she looks up at him and requests that she be his exclusive and only love.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal upon your arm,

She askes that he mark that love with an official seal. Much like our wedding rings today are external symbols of faithfulness to one another, so she asks him to seal himself off from all others and to externally display that commitment to her alone.

And while these words may sound much like marriage vows, I don’t think a wedding is in mind here when we hear them. And this isn’t to say that this couple haven’t already experienced exclusivity in their relationship, for she has already said “my beloved is mine and I am his” and “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” Rather, while the man and women already share the covenant bond, the woman asks for him to give her further assurance of his love for her; she desires closer union and closer fellowship, for him to take her as his own and his only once again.

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.”

This is like spouses playfully saying to one another “let’s get married” as an expression of their ongoing interest and affection. Or a spouse promising to always wear their wedding ring, never taking it off. But it’s also more than that. This is an expression of a deep longing and desire to be the only woman this man has his eyes on. It’s to say that this is marraige settled and there’s no turning back.

In wanting him to mark her on his heart, she wants all of his affections to be unwaveringly loving towards her, not even a hint of emotional swaying in his affection towards her.

In wanting him to mark her on his arm, she wants all of his actions to show that she alone is the object of his affection.

Putting these two together, she is saying that she wants everything that he is, inside and out, physically, emotionally, spiritually, wholly dedicated to her alone.

She then gives the reason for her request in the rest of verse 6 and the beginning of verse 7. And in doing so, she grounds her request, not in his character, her unwavering devotion to him, or their enjoyment of one another, but the grounds her request for his unwavering affection in the very nature of love itself.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

>>the very flame of the LORD.<<

First, she compares the strength of love to death. Death is irreversible and irresistible. Death cannot be escaped; it’s a determined force that never lets go those whom it has grasped. Just as those who have experienced death can never break its hold, so the woman desires love to hold her and her husband together irreversibly.

The woman grounds her request for his unwavering affection in the very nature of love itself.

This is an incredible claim to make: love is irresistible, resolute, and unshakable. Death is irreversible. Death cannot be escaped, it’s a determined force that never lets go those who its grasped. Just as those who have experienced death can never break its hold, so the woman desires love to hold her and her husband together irreversibly.

But she’s not done. In the next line she moves from love to jealousy.

Now when we normally think about jealousy, negative ideas likely come to mind. I think that we’ve all been jealous of someone else’s talents, or jobs, or success, or looks, or intelligence.

Or maybe you think of memories from your childhood of feeling jealous of a friend’s toys or games.

But that’s not what she has in mind here. This jealous is not of someone or of something, but for someone. It’s a right jealousy because it’s not centered around a desire for something someone doesn’t have but wishes that they had, but it’s an unyielding, unspeakable desire for someone who is already yours. And the emphasis here is the same as before: there is a single-minded, undistracted, unshakable devotion to something, something that is mine and nobody else’s.

To come at it another angle, this jealous is not of someone or of something, but for someone. It’s a right jealousy because it’s not centered around a desire for something someone doesn’t have but wishes that they had, but it’s an unyielding, unspeakable desire for someone who is already yours.

This idea of righteous jealousy comes up often in the Old Testament in God’s relationship with Israel, when she would forsake him to worship other gods. It’s a righteous and holy response to anything that threatens to disrupt the covenant relationship and distract from single-minded devotion towards one another. And when God’s people provoke him to jealousy, he always response with desire to restore and rescue the relationship: his jealousy doesn’t move him to “get even” or to sulk or any other sinful response we associate with jealousy. His jealousy moves him to action to find his bride and bring her home to be with him again.

This idea of righteous jealousy comes up often in the Old Testament in God’s relationship with Israel, when she would forsake him to worship other gods. It’s a righteous and holy response to anything that threatens to disrupt the covenant relationship and distract from single-minded devotion. And when God’s people provoke him to jealousy, he always response with desire to restore and rescue the relationship: his jealousy doesn’t move him to “get even” or to sulk or any other sinful response we associate often associate with jealousy. His jealousy moves him to action to find his bride and bring her home to be with him again.

The woman then gives to us another picture of love, comparing it to a fire, a fire that cannot be put out, no matter what opposition comes against it. And this flame, it’s not a small, tame flame, it’s as intense as God himself.

There’s more exodus imagery here; I believe. In comparing love to “the very flame of the Lord,” she is referencing where God revealed himself to Moses through a bush that burns, but is never consumed. A self-enduring, self-sustaining, never ending flame. This is the closest we get in the Old Testament to the New Testament revelation that “God is love.” Love is so interwoven and essential to the very nature of God himself that an appropriate analogy is a burning flame which itself is a metaphor for the very nature of God. To say it another way, love exists because God exists. And, in comparing love to the nature of God, there’s an expansion on the picture from earlier, love is not only “strong as death,” it is “stronger than death” it overpowers and outlives even death itself because it is as eternal as God himself.

The woman develops this metaphor further in verse 7.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

7 Many waters

cannot quench love,

neither can floods drown it.

Love is a flame that cannot be put out, even by water, the natural enemy of fire. There is a picture here of a flame that’s not only been subjected to water, but is under water, inside a river, water rushing over it, but somehow, not quenching it.

Finally, the woman concludes this section with a negative example. A foil. An example of someone who just doesn’t get it. Standing in contrast to her desire for her husband to mark her and to love her exclusively, grounded in the very nature of love itself, stands a man who things that he can harness the power of love with money. But to assume that this can happen is to misunderstand the nature of love itself. Love isn’t tamable or controllable. It available for hire to the highest bidder. Love cannot be bought. To even try to do so is foolish.

Ironically, Solomon himself stands in the shoes of this foolish man both in his gaudy display of his wealth in chapter 3, and in the woman’s response to his trying to buy her love at the end of this chapter. She looks at him and says “you, O Solomon, can keep your thousands. My vineyard is my very own.” Love can’t be bargained for or purchased, even with Solomon’s wealth. Its power cannot be harnessed or manipulated, it’s bigger than that and it’s stronger than that. To think that love can be purchased is to misunderstand the very nature and source of love itself.

Now, in the short time that we have left, I’d like to draw our attention to three themes from this text.

First, love is bigger than any couple.

Second, love calls for exclusive fidelity

And third, love is strengthened and preserved in suffering.

Theme 1: Love is bigger than any couple.

Pineapple on pizza for example, surprisingly good.

Observations:

I’ve alluded to this already but let’s begin in verse 5 - as she points out the apple tree to her husband, she recalls that his parents also were under the apple tree. In pointing this out, she says that this love the two of them experience is bigger than them, it’s a multi-generational experience which often results in the next generation. Their parents know what it’s like to be under the apple tree, as do their parents, as do their parents. Her meaning is that love came before them, and love will exist long after they are gone. Love is not dependent on their experience of it; it exists outside of them.

This theme comes up again in her description of love as strong as death and the flame of the Lord. Because love is tied to God’s own nature, love does come and go with our short lived giddy feelings or heightened emotions. It’s steady. It’s eternal. It’s unshakable.

Read with this in mind, when our choir begins in verse 5 by drawing our attention to this couple, it’s not done so that we can observe these two as a model couple, but to gaze together on the wonders of love when it chooses to settle down on a man and woman in marriage. More than a celebration of them, the choir invites us to a celebration of love itself.

This is the reason why the man at the end of our section is considered foolish. He thinks that he can purchase love, but love is not for sale. Those who pursue love with this mindset will only find themselves hopeless and frustrated by the enigma of love. It doesn’t come from giving the biggest diamond or by going on a cruse to the Bahamas. It’s much bigger than that, and it’s much bigger than any couple.

Application:

This section of Scripture flies in the face of phrases we hear often in our culture, “the love is just gone” or “that fire went out long ago.” Love doesn’t disappear and it doesn’t die because isn’t tied to our experiences. We may experience closeness to our spouses to different degrees because of sin or trials, but love itself has not changed.

To the married, this description gives to us much hope. Because love is bigger than us and our experience of it, there is always hope for every marriage. No matter the difficulties and frustrations that seek to tear the two of you apart, love is unmoved and love is always available.

This section of Scripture flies in the face of a phrase we hear often in our culture, “the love is just gone” or “that fire went out long ago.” Love doesn’t disappear and it doesn’t die because isn’t tied to our experiences. We may experience closeness to our spouses to different degrees, It’s outside of us, and because of that, it can never be quenched.

It’s outside of us, and because of that, it can never be quenched.

Read in this light, the woman’s request for him to “set her as a seal upon his heart, as a seal upon his arm,” isn’t a request for him to get his act together and muster up love for her from within himself. Rather, it’s a request for him to cling to her exclusively, to love her completely.

This description of love should also bring sobriety. Men, single and married, as you pursue a woman, you aren’t engaging in some trivial matter. Love is a cosmic reality. Don’t treat it lightly, like a commodity that can be bought and sold at your discretion. It’s something to pursue with careful attention and careful prayer to the God who, himself, is love.

This serious and cosmic nature of love naturally leads us to our next theme,

I tried ranch instead of ketchup one time for my dipping sauce and now I’m hooked.

Theme 2: Love calls for exclusive fidelity

Observations:

Again, this theme begins in verse 5 as we observe the man and the woman emerging from the wilderness. He supports her; she leans on him.

This idea of exclusivity in love is at the very heart of the woman’s request to her husband. The images she uses, a seal, death, jealousy, fire, they work together to make one point: because love is strong as death. Because jealousy is fierce, because love is a fire that can never be put out, because of all this, the woman asks that her beloved set her as a seal upon his heart, as a seal upon his arm. In the context and covenant of marriage, complete and total fidelity is required. Her appeal to the nature of love itself is that Love, by its very essence, is exclusive.

And it’s clear from this context that physical fidelity is not the only thing in mind.

This love doesn’t have a wondering thought, eyes for another, or seek emotional escapism. This kind of love doesn’t trade its partner for a magazine, or a website, or a romance novel, or a day dream. It doesn’t think about how easy life would be “if only I were single again.” It is resolutely dedicated to one person forever.

To use the image of verse 5, it means that your spouse holds you, physically, emotionally, spiritually, completely, and no one else.

Her appeal to jealousy continues this theme: there is a single-minded, undistracted, unshakable devotion to something, something that is mine and nobody else’s.

There are some things in live that it would be inappropriate to share, and it’s righteous to feel jealousy in these situations. Affectionate looks. Emotional intimacy. Far from being innocent, these are thoughts and feelings of covenant betrayal, and jealousy is an appropriate and righteous response.

There’s comfort to be found here, that if we are ever tempted towards unfaithfulness in our marriage covenant, God has given us our spouse, and at times moves them to jealousy for us, so that we would be warned and driven to further faithfulness. If you’ve ever experienced this holy jealousy in your spouse, be thankful for it. And if you ever feel it for your marriage because something threatens it, know that this is is a righteous thing, and it’s given by God to help provoke your spouse towards further faithfulness.

This is what she asks of her husband, that she would feel like his exclusive, his only love. That his love for her be as resolute and as irreversible as death itself. As Paul will later say in the New Testament, “Love never fails.”

Love, then, in its essence is not about how compatible two people are for one another, or a romantic feeling, or personal happiness; it’s about exclusive, faithful, lifelong commitment. And the result of that commitment, is a bride coming up from the wilderness, lovingly and gently leading on her beloved.

Application:

This definition of love in the Song of Solomon, it flies in the face of American love. Where “I love you” simply means “you complete me” or “I have a good time when we’re together” or “you make me feel special.” It doesn’t have to do with personal attraction or happiness.

“I love you” in these verses means “I choose you. I’m committed to you. There’s no one else that I’d even think of desiring to be with. And I’d never have a thought of wishing we were apart.”

These two themes, love is bigger than any couple, and love calls for exclusive fidelity, they work together to point to our third theme,

There really is a world of flavors and new things out there to be discovered. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be forced to try one or two more of them before I die.

Theme 3: Love is strengthened and preserved in suffering.

When it comes to the Song of Solomon, I think that, maybe, many of us feel similarly. The Song is “something new” for many of us. It’s strange and unknown. I think many of us are comfortable just sticking with Paul, and if we want variety we might try a major prophet every once in a while. But this book, this book is outside of our “vanilla-preference” when it comes to Bible reading.

Observations:

Again, this theme begins in verse 5 as this couple comes out of the wilderness together, the place of trials and suffering. Like Israel, this entrance into the promised land together has come because of and through the hardships of the wilderness.

The wilderness has not crushed this couple, but has developed a dependency and shared intimacy. And together they return again to the promised land, tested and, as a result, more deeply committed to one another. And it is as our couple comes out of the wilderness together that she calls to mind the mutual joys of their wedding night. They emerge together, joyful, loving, and reminiscent.

This tender moment between the couple comes, not because everything went just how they expected it to go, because they had their happily ever after after announcing “I do.”

Rather, it is with the backdrop of tests and trials that the woman gives he perspective on love. Her claim that love is strong as death and “many waters cannot quench love” don’t come from the philosophical tower, divorced from real life experiences. It’s spoken by a woman who knows what suffering in and through marriage looks and feels like.

She’s seen difficulty, and she emerges saying with confidence and conviction that many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. It’s against this backdrop of suffering that this woman describes love as a flame that can never be put out, no matter what comes its way. Trials and pressures may have tried to drown out their love, but they failed. Love remains because love is inextinguishable.

As Paul would say later “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

Feelings come and go, but love endures forever, unmoved, and resolute.

Application:

I doubt anyone here would say in all seriousness that the Song of Solomon is their go-to book when they just open up their Bible, unsure of what to read.

This verse gives us eyes of faith to see that the trials and sufferings that come into our lives because of our marriage do not come to divide us, they don’t come from a God who seeks our harm and heartache, but they come that we would experience deeper affection and deeper union with one another. God brings dry seasons and wildernesses into our experience that we might know to a greater degree the gift of love. So it was with Israel and the Lord, so it is in our experience, and so it is with this couple, as you can see in this verse, the man and woman do not come up from the wilderness grumbling and hard, but tender towards one another, and she leans upon him.

Application:

With these three themes in mind, this text is a call to treat our spouses lovingly and to remain faithful to them alone, even in the midst of suffering, conflict, and pain. This passage elevates marriage from a pursuit of personal pleasure and happiness, to a pursuit of one another, a pursuit of love itself, and a pursuit of God. It’s a call to endure the many waters that threaten our marriages and trust that God is using those waters to bring you closer to one another, to cultivate further and greater experiences of love. It shows to us that love is a long-term pursuit with long-term benefits in mind rather than immediate pleasures. It’s a long-term investment, not an impulsive day-trade. It presents marriage as a marathon rather than a sprint. And in the midst of suffering, this passage encourages us and holds out to us the picture of this couple, coming out of the wilderness closer to one another than ever before.

Christ Connection:

However, surprisingly, while this book is often neglected in pulpits and bible studies, it opens in chapter 1 verse 1 with a declaration, this is the Song of Songs, this is a Hebrew way of saying “this is the greatest song.” Think about elsewhere in the Bible where this same formula is used like the “holy of holies” or calling Jesus the “king of kings” and “lord of lords.” The writer claims that of all songs, this one is the greatest. And it deserves our special attention.

But it does even more than that. This text encourages us to look beyond our human experience of love to the God who, himself, is love. And ultimately, it prompts us to look to and glory in Jesus Christ, the God who is Love, incarnate. Love itself incarnate.

Theme 1: Love is bigger than any couple.

The Apostle Paul, in the book of Ephesians, looks back at the marriage of Adam and Eve and says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

We know that love is bigger than any couple because

And if Paul finds reason to read this short text about marriage as a type, how much more so should we read the Song of Songs this way?

Theme 2: Love calls for exclusive fidelity.

Leaning on Jesus

Leaning on her beloved. Jesus does not leave any of his beloved alone in this difficult journey up from the wilderness of this world and into the promised land. As we are faced with hardships, especially hardships in our relationships, he never fails to offer himself to us to lean on and to find our rest in him. He has promised, “I am with you always, even until the end of the world.” In every step of our pilgrimage, he is a very present help in time of need. In all of your afflictions, doubts, questions, worries, he is there and he will never leave.

And he is not simply present, but he is personally and affectionately present. Notice that the text says that she is leaning on her beloved. When faced with discouragements about our spouses and temptations in our relationships, feel this deep in your soul, that Christ is completely yours. He is not the beloved, or a beloved, but he is your beloved. He has made himself yours entirely. He has set you as a seal upon his heart, as a seal upon his arm.

Remember the words of ,

English Standard Version Chapter 49

Can a woman forget her nursing child,

that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget,

yet I will not forget you.

16 Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

Our names are indelibly written upon his affections.

Once we perceive his presence with us, and we feel his dedication towards us, we can, like the woman in this song, lean wholly upon our Savior.

True of us for Christ.

So may we lean with all of our weight upon Christ. When faced with difficulties and distresses in our relationships, let us desire most of all to dwell near to Christ, and him alone.

Let us not comfort or distract ourselves with our own devices, with lustful fantasies, with daydreams, with romantic stories. But with Christ. He bids us come and experience the eternal joys of his presence and his love.

Let us not try to stand on our own strength, to trust in ourselves in this difficult pilgrimage.

And, let us not rest only partially on Christ while attempting to support ourselves partially as well.

Rather, let us rely on him only and completely.

The wilderness is a dangerous place for us pilgrims, the world lies to us about the nature of love and gives us wrong expectations. In our own strength, we will fail, our marriages will fail, but there is safety, security, and satisfaction in leaning upon Christ.

Let us cast every burden of our souls upon him and entrust them to his care.

Let us not not rely on our own wisdom when faced with difficulties, but let us seek his in prayer.

Let us not look to our own faithfulness as confidence before God, but lean fully on his faithfulness for us.

Let us not trust in our own strength when we are spiritually weak, but let us look fully and solely at him to be our portion and our strength.

As we go through the wilderness with our spouses, or without a spouse, let us lean on him alone, knowing that he who travels this road with us has traveled this road before. He empathizes with us as one who intimately knows our pains, feels our distresses, and supports us through all of them as we lean on him. And as we do, we will find that in resting on Christ alone, we will find our soul’s to be at perfect rest, no matter what difficulty befalls us.

With the promised land before us, let us take head the words of , “trust in the Lord and do good; and you will dwell in the land.” There is no point in our journey to the promised land that we do not need Christ fully. Let us rest in him. And as we do, we will find that in resting on Christ alone, we will find our soul’s to be at perfect rest.

Theme 3: Love is strengthened and preserved in suffering.

And while that might at first seem strange to us, to think about God talking to us about our sexuality, actually, it would be strange if God never addressed this topic in Scripture. God created us by design as sexual beings, with desires and cravings that didn’t come to us after , but before it. And God in his kindness has given us 8 chapters of wise counsel on how to think about this important and all pervasive topic.

Are you weary in your marriage? Are you weary in your singleness? Are you discouraged by dreams that haven’t been fulfilled? Are you crushed by your partner’s unfaithfulness?

Know this, your Savior holds you and loves you with a devoted, faithful love that is stronger even than death. And though you may say with David in , “The waves and the billows are gone over me,” Christ says in response “many waters cannot quence my love for you, neither can flood waters drown it.” and “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”

No distress, no trial can quench his love for you. His love for you can endure many strong waters. Think of , “Having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.” Our Beloved knows how to love his people faithfully through many afflictions. He won’t fail you.

, “The waves and the billows are gone over me,” Christ says in response “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”

He loves you through everything. His love is completely and utterly unfailing towards us. Know, that no matter what comes, that our names are graven on his hands, our names are written on his heart.

He loved David through his adultery.

He loved Israel through her Idolatry.

He loved Moses though his questioning.

, “The waves and the billows are gone over me,” Christ says in response “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”

Our Savior is ever strong where we are weak, and he is present to comfort us in all of our affliction. For his love for his own is eternal, loyal, and inextinguishable.

He loved Abraham through his lies.

, “Having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.” He loves us through everything, to the very end.

He loved Naomi through her doubts.

And, Christian, he loves you through everything. His love is completely and utterly unfailing towards us.

Yes, this book is not Vanilla flavored, but it is very good, and it’s worth our attention.

Conclusion:

So, may this text strengthen and give fresh hope to our marriages.

May it push us on to further faithfulness.

May it correct us where we’ve misunderstood the nature of love.

And may the example of Christ both compel us towards further love for our spouses, and encourage us amid difficulties in our relationships.

When loving feels impossible, let us remember,

English Standard Version Chapter 4

We love because he first loved us.

Funnel to the Context.

Our love is not found in our own strength, but in his.

For the single among us, may this text help prompt you towards you rest more fully and more securely in Christ’s own love for you.

The commentators agree that this is the

And may we all be freshly amazed by our Beloved who faithfully loved us, and who gave himself for us.

To the married, this text confronts us in our discouragement with our marriages and confronts thoughts of complacency and unfaithfulness.

To the single, this text provides a helpful examples of faithful commitment and gives further reason to listen to the advice of the woman repeated throughout this song, “do not awaken or stir up love until it’s time.”

To all of us, it reminds us that marriage and love are good gifts from God, gifts that he bestows and protests it by his kind and sovereign hand.

In this text, the God who, as John reminds us, is love, graciously invites people to experience love and to persevere in love.

So let’s com to this text expecting God to meet us in whatever context we find ourselves, and let’s anticipate his gracious previsions of green pastures and still waters.

First, let’s look at the basic structure of this passage:

It’s with this backdrop that the choir fades out, and the spotlight focuses our attention on the woman who bursts forth in a joyous solo.

She then gives the reason for her request in verses 6-7.

Finally, this section concludes with a negative example. A foil. Or, an example of someone who just doesn’t get it.

And as we do, I want to draw our attention to three themes which are repeated again and again in this text.

First, we’ll see pictures of love being strengthened and preserved in suffering.

Second, we’ll see see pictures of love calling for exclusive fidelity

And third, we’ll see that love is bigger than any couple.

Let’s begin with love being strengthened and preserved in suffering.

“Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?” And in this picture, the Daughters observe this couple coming up together out of the wilderness accompanying one another. The composer here uses Exodus imagery to paint a picture of these two lovers. For Israel, the wilderness was a place which both tested and sealed their relationship with God. It was in the wilderness that Israel both doubted the goodness of the Lord, and they entered into a covenant with the Lord. It was the place where they suffered, and where they first were united with the Lord who came to dwell in their midst. And after their long and treacherous journey together, the Lord and Israel both came up out of the wilderness together into the promised land. And while this wilderness was a difficult place of testing for Israel, God through the prophet Hosea would look back on this time and say that it was in the wilderness that he allured her and spoke tenderly to her. And afterwords, both Israel and the Lord together came up from the wilderness and entered into the promised land, not as strangers, but as covenant partners.

And in this picture, the Daughters observe this couple coming up together out of the wilderness accompanying one another. The composer here uses Exodus imagery to paint a picture of these two lovers. For Israel, the wilderness was a place which both tested and sealed their relationship with God. It was in the wilderness that Israel both doubted the goodness of the Lord, and they entered into a covenant with the Lord. It was the place where they suffered, and where they first were united with the Lord who came to dwell in their midst. And after their long and treacherous journey together, the Lord and Israel both came up out of the wilderness together into the promised land. And while this wilderness was a difficult place of testing for Israel, God through the prophet Hosea would look back on this time and say that it was in the wilderness that he allured her and spoke tenderly to her. And afterwords, both Israel and the Lord together came up from the wilderness and entered into the promised land, not as strangers, but as covenant partners.

But let us not forget that for this couple, like Israel, this entrance into the promised land together has come because of and through the hardships of the wilderness. This mentioning of the wilderness, it begins a themes which will continue through this section love’s perseverance through suffering.

This verse gives us eyes of faith to see that the trials and sufferings that come into our lives because of our marriage do not come to divide us, they don’t come from a God who seeks our harm and heartache, but they come that we would experience deeper affection and deeper union with one another. God brings dry seasons and wildernesses into our experience that we might experience to a greater degree the gift of love. So it was with Israel and the Lord, so it is in our experience, and so it is with this couple, as you can see in this verse, the man and women do not come up from the wilderness grumbling and hard, but tender towards one another, and she leans upon him.

English Standard Version Chapter 8Under the apple tree I awakened you. There your mother was in labor with you; there she who bore you was in labor.

The woman begins her song by drawing our attention to an apple tree. This is likely not a literal apple tree that the couple saw in passing. Instead, the woman is likely calling to mind her words to the man in chapter 2 where she spoke of her sexual desire for the man: there she described the man as an apple tree under whose shade she desired to rest and whose fruit she desired to eat. But the metaphor here has changed from when we first read it, now she refers to the apple tree as the place where the couple’s love was first aroused and their desire for one another was fulfilled. She reminds her husband of their own adhering to her advice throughout the book to not awaken love until the proper time and celebrates with her husband the joy of that interment moment. And let us not forget the context of here, it is as our couple comes out of the wilderness together that she calls to mind the mutual joys of their wedding night. This tender moment between the couple comes out of deep suffering. But they have emerged joyful, loving, and reminiscent.And as we continue reading, the woman reminds her husband that there is further significance to the apple tree. In experiencing love for one another, this couple is taking part in something bigger than themselves, this text will have more to say about that as we continue, but for now it gives us a hint — she says that this love they experience is bigger than them, it’s a multi-generational experience. Their parents also know that it is like to be under the apple tree, as do their parents, as do their parents. Love came before them, and love will exist long after they are gone. There’s more on that to come, but for now, let’s continue on to verse 6.The woman makes a request from this man.“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.”As these two contemplate the wonders of this love they have entered into together, she looks up at him and requests that she be his exclusive and only love. To mark that love with an official seal. Much like our wedding rings today are external symbols of faithfulness to one another, so she asks him to seal himself off from all others and to externally display that commitment to her alone.And while these words may sound much like marriage vows, I don’t think a wedding is in mind here when we hear these words. And this isn’t to say that they haven’t already experienced exclusivity in their relationship, for she has already said “my beloved is mine and I am his” and “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” Rather, while the man and women already share the covenant bond, the woman asks for him to give her further assurance of his love for her; she desires closer union and closer fellowship, for him to take her as his own and his only once again.This is like a spouses playfully saying to one another “let’s get married” as an expression of their ongoing interest and affection. Or a spouse promising to always wear their wedding ring, never taking it off. But it’s also more than that. This is an expression of a deep longing and desire to be the only woman this man has his eyes on. It’s to say that this is settled and there’s no turning back.In wanting him to mark her on his heart, she wants all of his affections to be unwaveringly loving towards her, not even a hint of emotional swaying in his affection towards her.In wanting him to mark her on his arm, she wants all of his actions to show that she alone is the object of his affection.Putting these two together, she is saying that she wants everything that he is, inside and out, physically, emotionally, spiritually, wholly dedicated to her alone.She then gives the reason for her request:

English Standard Version Chapter 8for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, >>the very flame of the LORD.<< 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.

Our second theme is that love calls for exclusive fidelity.

Let’s look at verse 6:

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.”

As these two contemplate the wonders of this love they have entered into together, she looks up at him and requests that she be his exclusive and only love. To mark that love with an official seal. Much like our wedding rings today are external symbols of faithfulness to one another, so she asks him to seal himself off from all others and to externally display that commitment to her alone.

And while these words may sound much like marriage vows, I don’t think a wedding is in mind here when we hear these words. And this isn’t to say that they haven’t already experienced exclusivity in their relationship, for she has already said “my beloved is mine and I am his” and “I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me.” Rather, while the man and women already share the covenant bond, the woman asks for him to give her further assurance of his love for her; she desires closer union and closer fellowship, for him to take her as his own and his only once again.

This is like a spouses playfully saying to one another “let’s get married” as an expression of their ongoing interest and affection. Or a spouse promising to always wear their wedding ring, never taking it off. But it’s also more than that. This is an expression of a deep longing and desire to be the only woman this man has his eyes on. It’s to say that there is a settled disposition between the two of them; they have decided to be together and there are no thoughts or ideas of turning back.

In wanting him to mark her on his heart, she wants all of his affections to be unwaveringly loving towards her, not even a hint of emotional swaying in his affection towards her.

In wanting him to mark her on his arm, she wants all of his actions to show that she alone is the object of his affection.

Putting these two together, she is saying that she wants everything that he is, inside and out, physically, emotionally, spiritually, wholly dedicated to her alone.

She then goes on to give the reason or the grounds for her request, and she does it, not in her character, or her husband’s past examples of faithfulness, but in the very nature of love itself.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

for love is strong as death,

jealousy is fierce as the grave.

Its flashes are flashes of fire,

>>the very flame of the LORD.<<

First, she compares the strength of love to death. Death is irreversible and irresistible. Death cannot be escaped, it’s a determined force that never lets go those who its grasped. Just as those who have experienced death can never break its hold, so the woman desires love to hold her and her husband together irreversibly.

This is an incredible claim to make: love is irresistible, resolute, and unshakable.

From a biblical worldview, this is what Christian couples

But she’s not done. In the next line she moves from love to jealousy. And the emphasis here is the same as before: there is a single-minded, undistracted, unshakable devotion to something, something that is mine and nobody else’s.

This is an incredible claim to make: love is irresistible, resolute, and unshakable.

Now when we normally think about jealousy, negative ideas likely come to mind. I think that we’ve all been jealous of someone else’s talents, or jobs, or success, or looks, or intelligence.

Or maybe you think of memories from your childhood of feeling jealous of a friend’s toys or games. We spend a lot of time in our home trying to teach our daughter to share and to be happy for others when they have things that they enjoy.

But there’s another important lesson here: there are some things in live that it would be inappropriate to share, and it’s righteous to feel jealousy in these situations. Affectionate looks. Emotional intimacy. Thoughts and feelings of covenant betrayal.

This idea of righteous jealousy comes up often in the Old Testament in God’s relationship with Israel, when she would forsake him to worship other gods. It’s a righteous and holy response to anything that threatens to disrupt the covenant relationship and distract from single-minded devotion. And when God’s people provoke him to jealousy, he always response with desire to restore and rescue the relationship: his jealousy doesn’t move him to “get even” or to sulk or any other sinful response we associate often associate with jealousy. His jealousy moves him to action to find his bride and bring her home to be with him again.

These images: a seal, love and death, jealousy and the grave, they work together to make one point: in the context and covenant of marriage, complete and total fidelity is required.

And it’s clear from this context that physical fidelity is not the only thing in mind, but, as Jesus said, the person who looks at another with lust is unfaithful.And let us once again remember the context here once again, this woman is saying this to her husband as they come up from the wilderness together. These aren’t idealized words spoken from the philosophical tower, divorced from real life experiences. It’s spoken by a woman who know what suffering in and through marriage looks and feels like. And she emerges saying with confidence and conviction that Love itself, by its very nature, is exclusive. It doesn’t have a wondering thought, eyes for another, or seek emotional escapism. This kind of love doesn’t trade its partner for a magazine, or a website, or a romance novel, or a day dream. It doesn’t think about how easy life would be “if only I were single again.” It is resolutely dedicated to one person, forever. It means that your spouse holds you, physically, emotionally, spiritually, completely, and no one else.This is what she asks of her husband, that she would once again feel like his exclusive, his only love. That his love for her be as resolute and as irreversible as death itself. As Paul will later say in the New Testament, “Love never fails.”And as we continue to the next line of the song, we transition again from love’s call to exclusivity again to another picture that love is bigger than any couple and that love can endure any suffering.“Its flashes are flashes of fire,The very flame of the Lord.Many waters cannot quench love,Neither can floods drown it.”The woman gives to us another picture of love, comparing it to a fire, a fire that cannot be put out, no matter what opposition comes against it. And this flame, it’s not a small, tame flame, it’s as intense as God himself.There’s more exodus imagery here I believe. In comparing love to “the very flame of the Lord,” she is referencing where God revealed himself to Moses through a burning bush, a bush that burns, but is never consumed. A self-enduring, self-sustaining, never ending flame. This is the closest we get in the Old Testament to the New Testament revelation that “God is love.” Love is so interwoven and essential to the very nature of God himself that an appropriate analogy is a burning flame which itself is a metaphor for the very nature of God. To say it another way, love exists because God exists. love is mysterious, enduring, “bigger than any couple.” And, in comparing love to the nature of God, there’s an expansion on the picture from earlier, love is not only “strong as death,” it is “strong than death” it overpowers and outlives even death itself.And the Song uses this amazing picture of love to encourage us again that love is perseveres through suffering. “Many waters cannot quench love.” Love is a flame that cannot be put out, even by water, the natural enemy of fire. There is a picture here of a flame that’s not only been subjected to water, but is under water, inside a river, water rushing over it, but not quenching it. This section of Scripture flies in the face of a phrase we hear often in our culture, “the love is just gone.” Love doesn’t disappear. It isn’t tied to our experiences. It’s outside of us, and because of that, it can never be quenched.After coming up and out of the wilderness with her beloved, this is how the woman understands love: as a flame that can never be put out, no matter what comes its way. Trials and pressures may have tried to drown out our love, but it failed. Love remains because love is inextinguishable because love is bigger than any couple. As Paul would say later “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” Feelings come and go, but love endures forever, unmoved, and resolute.And it is because of all this. Because love is strong as death. Because jealousy is fierce, because love is a fire that can never be put out, because of all this, the woman asks that her beloved set her as a seal upon his heat, as a seal upon his arm.And this should encourage us greatly. Because the example in this book and the request this woman makes, it’s not to muster up something within ourselves, it’s to take love, to cling to it, and to cling to her exclusively, and, by implication, to cling to the God who himself is love.This section then closes with one more picture showing us that love is bigger than any couple,“if a man offered for loveall the wealth of his house,he would be utterly despised.”Love cannot be bought. To even try to do so is foolish. Solomon himself stands in contrast to this both in his gaudy display of his wealth in chapter 3, and in the woman’s response to his trying to buy her love at the end of this chapter. She looks at him and says “you, O Solomon, can keep your thousands. My vineyard is my very own.” Love can’t be bargained for or purchased, even with Solomon’s wealth. Its power cannot be harnessed or manipulated, it’s bigger than that and it’s stronger than that. To think that love can be purchased is to misunderstand the very nature and source of love itself.And it’s because of this that the woman says to her beloved, “set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.” Love in its essence is not about how compatible two people are for one another, or a romantic feeling, or personal happiness; it’s about exclusive, faithful, lifelong commitment. And the result of that commitment, is a bride coming up from the wilderness, lovingly and gently leading on her beloved.This text is a call to treat our spouses lovingly and to remain faithful to them alone, even in the midst of suffering, conflict, and pain. This passage elevates marriage from a pursuit of personal pleasure and happiness, to a pursuit of one another, a pursuit of love itself, and a pursuit of God. It’s a call to endure the many waters that threaten your marriage and trust that God is using those waters to bring you closer to one another, to cultivate further and greater experiences of love. It shows to us that love is a long-term pursuit with long-term benefits in mind rather than immediate pleasures. It’s a long-term investment, not an impulsive day-trade. It presents marriage as a marathon rather than a sprint. And in the midst of suffering, this passage encourages us and holds out to us the picture of this couple, coming out of the wilderness closer to one another than ever before.But it does more than this as well. It not only holds out as an example this couple in the song, it points us also to the example of Jesus himself.The Apostle Paul, in the book of Ephesians, looks back at the marriage of Adam and Eve and says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”And if Paul finds reason to read this short text about marriage as a type, how much more so should we read the Song of Songs this way?Weary Christian, know this, your Savior holds you and loves you with a strong and faithful love that is stronger than death. And though you may say with David in , “The waves and the billows are gone over me,” Christ says in response “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”No distress, no trial can quench his love for you. His love for you can endure many strong waters. Think of , “Having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.” He loves us through everything, to the very end. He loved Peter through his denial.He loved David through his adultery.He loved Israel through her Idolatry.He loved Moses though his questioning.He loved Abraham through his lies.He loved Naomi through her doubts.And, Christian, he loves you through everything. His love is completely and utterly unfailing towards us.Know, no matter what comes, that our names are graven on his hands, our names are written on his hearts. Remember the words of ,

English Standard Version Chapter 4915 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 16 Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;

Our names are indelibly engraved upon his affections.Let us then, lovingly lean on the chest of our Beloved Savior, not partially, but fully, with everything we are, for he cares for us. Our Savior is ever strong where we are weak, and he is present to comfort us in all of our affliction. For his love for his own is eternal, and inextinguishable.

Our last theme is that love is bigger than any couple.

This section is perhaps likely the most memorable and intense expression and example of love in the entire Song. The woman grounds her request for his unwavering affection in the very nature of love itself.First, she compares the strength of love to death. Death is irreversible and irresistible. Death cannot be escaped, it’s a determined force that never lets go those who its grasped. Just as those who have experienced death can never break its hold, so the woman desires love to hold her and her husband together irreversibly.This is an incredible claim to make: love is irresistible, resolute, and unshakable. But she’s not done. In the next line she moves from love to jealousy. And the emphasis here is the same as before: there is a single-minded, undistracted, unshakable devotion to something, something that is mine and nobody else’s. Now when we normally think about jealousy, negative ideas likely come to mind. I think that we’ve all been jealous of someone else’s talents, or jobs, or success, or looks, or intelligence.Or maybe you think of memories from your childhood of feeling jealous of a friend’s toys or games. We spend a lot of time in our home trying to teach our daughter to share and to be happy for others when they have things that they enjoy.But there’s another important lesson here: there are some things in live that it would be inappropriate to share, and it’s righteous to feel jealousy in these situations. Affectionate looks. Emotional intimacy. Thoughts and feelings of covenant betrayal.To come at it another angle, this jealous is not of someone or of something, but for someone. It’s a right jealousy because it’s not centered around a desire for something someone doesn’t have but wishes that they had, but it’s an unyielding, unspeakable desire for someone who is already yours. This idea of righteous jealousy comes up often in the Old Testament in God’s relationship with Israel, when she would forsake him to worship other gods. It’s a righteous and holy response to anything that threatens to disrupt the covenant relationship and distract from single-minded devotion. And when God’s people provoke him to jealousy, he always response with desire to restore and rescue the relationship: his jealousy doesn’t move him to “get even” or to sulk or any other sinful response we associate often associate with jealousy. His jealousy moves him to action to find his bride and bring her home to be with him again.There’s comfort to be found here, that if we are ever tempted towards unfaithfulness in our marriage covenant, God has given us our spouse, and at times moves them to jealousy for us, so that we would be warned and driven to further faithfulness. If you’ve ever experienced this holy jealousy in your spouse, be thankful for it. And if you ever feel it for your marriage because something threatens it, know that this is is a righteous thing, and it’s given by God to help provoke your spouse towards further faithfulness.These images: a seal, love and death, jealousy and the grave, they work together to make one point: in the context and covenant of marriage, complete and total fidelity is required. And it’s clear from this context that physical fidelity is not the only thing in mind, but, as Jesus said, the person who looks at another with lust is unfaithful.And let us once again remember the context here once again, this woman is saying this to her husband as they come up from the wilderness together. These aren’t idealized words spoken from the philosophical tower, divorced from real life experiences. It’s spoken by a woman who know what suffering in and through marriage looks and feels like. And she emerges saying with confidence and conviction that Love itself, by its very nature, is exclusive. It doesn’t have a wondering thought, eyes for another, or seek emotional escapism. This kind of love doesn’t trade its partner for a magazine, or a website, or a romance novel, or a day dream. It doesn’t think about how easy life would be “if only I were single again.” It is resolutely dedicated to one person, forever. It means that your spouse holds you, physically, emotionally, spiritually, completely, and no one else.This is what she asks of her husband, that she would once again feel like his exclusive, his only love. That his love for her be as resolute and as irreversible as death itself. As Paul will later say in the New Testament, “Love never fails.”And as we continue to the next line of the song, we transition again from love’s call to exclusivity again to another picture that love is bigger than any couple and that love can endure any suffering.“Its flashes are flashes of fire,The very flame of the Lord.Many waters cannot quench love,Neither can floods drown it.”The woman gives to us another picture of love, comparing it to a fire, a fire that cannot be put out, no matter what opposition comes against it. And this flame, it’s not a small, tame flame, it’s as intense as God himself.There’s more exodus imagery here I believe. In comparing love to “the very flame of the Lord,” she is referencing Exodus 3 where God revealed himself to Moses through a burning bush, a bush that burns, but is never consumed. A self-enduring, self-sustaining, never ending flame. This is the closest we get in the Old Testament to the New Testament revelation that “God is love.” Love is so interwoven and essential to the very nature of God himself that an appropriate analogy is a burning flame which itself is a metaphor for the very nature of God. To say it another way, love exists because God exists. love is mysterious, enduring, “bigger than any couple.” And, in comparing love to the nature of God, there’s an expansion on the picture from earlier, love is not only “strong as death,” it is “strong than death” it overpowers and outlives even death itself.And the Song uses this amazing picture of love to encourage us again that love is perseveres through suffering. “Many waters cannot quench love.” Love is a flame that cannot be put out, even by water, the natural enemy of fire. There is a picture here of a flame that’s not only been subjected to water, but is under water, inside a river, water rushing over it, but not quenching it. This section of Scripture flies in the face of a phrase we hear often in our culture, “the love is just gone.” Love doesn’t disappear. It isn’t tied to our experiences. It’s outside of us, and because of that, it can never be quenched.After coming up and out of the wilderness with her beloved, this is how the woman understands love: as a flame that can never be put out, no matter what comes its way. Trials and pressures may have tried to drown out our love, but it failed. Love remains because love is inextinguishable because love is bigger than any couple. As Paul would say later “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” Feelings come and go, but love endures forever, unmoved, and resolute.And it is because of all this. Because love is strong as death. Because jealousy is fierce, because love is a fire that can never be put out, because of all this, the woman asks that her beloved set her as a seal upon his heat, as a seal upon his arm.And this should encourage us greatly. Because the example in this book and the request this woman makes, it’s not to muster up something within ourselves, it’s to take love, to cling to it, and to cling to her exclusively, and, by implication, to cling to the God who himself is love.This section then closes with one more picture showing us that love is bigger than any couple,“if a man offered for loveall the wealth of his house,he would be utterly despised.”Love cannot be bought. To even try to do so is foolish. Solomon himself stands in contrast to this both in his gaudy display of his wealth in chapter 3, and in the woman’s response to his trying to buy her love at the end of this chapter. She looks at him and says “you, O Solomon, can keep your thousands. My vineyard is my very own.” Love can’t be bargained for or purchased, even with Solomon’s wealth. Its power cannot be harnessed or manipulated, it’s bigger than that and it’s stronger than that. To think that love can be purchased is to misunderstand the very nature and source of love itself.And it’s because of this that the woman says to her beloved, “set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm.” Love in its essence is not about how compatible two people are for one another, or a romantic feeling, or personal happiness; it’s about exclusive, faithful, lifelong commitment. And the result of that commitment, is a bride coming up from the wilderness, lovingly and gently leading on her beloved.This text is a call to treat our spouses lovingly and to remain faithful to them alone, even in the midst of suffering, conflict, and pain. This passage elevates marriage from a pursuit of personal pleasure and happiness, to a pursuit of one another, a pursuit of love itself, and a pursuit of God. It’s a call to endure the many waters that threaten your marriage and trust that God is using those waters to bring you closer to one another, to cultivate further and greater experiences of love. It shows to us that love is a long-term pursuit with long-term benefits in mind rather than immediate pleasures. It’s a long-term investment, not an impulsive day-trade. It presents marriage as a marathon rather than a sprint. And in the midst of suffering, this passage encourages us and holds out to us the picture of this couple, coming out of the wilderness closer to one another than ever before.But it does more than this as well. It not only holds out as an example this couple in the song, it points us also to the example of Jesus himself.The Apostle Paul, in the book of Ephesians, looks back at the marriage of Adam and Eve Genesis 2 and says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”And if Paul finds reason to read this short text about marriage as a type, how much more so should we read the Song of Songs this way?Weary Christian, know this, your Savior holds you and loves you with a strong and faithful love that is stronger than death. And though you may say with David in Psalm 42, “The waves and the billows are gone over me,” Christ says in response “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”No distress, no trial can quench his love for you. His love for you can endure many strong waters. Think of John 13:1, “Having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.” He loves us through everything, to the very end. He loved Peter through his denial.He loved David through his adultery.He loved Israel through her Idolatry.He loved Moses though his questioning.He loved Abraham through his lies.He loved Naomi through her doubts.And, Christian, he loves you through everything. His love is completely and utterly unfailing towards us.Know, no matter what comes, that our names are graven on his hands, our names are written on his hearts. Remember the words of Isaiah 49,

Let’s look again at verse 5.

English Standard Version Chapter 8

Under the apple tree I awakened you.

There your mother was in labor with you;

there she who bore you was in labor.

And as we continue reading, the woman reminds her husband that there is further significance to the apple tree. In experiencing love for one another, this couple is taking part in something bigger than themselves, this text will have more to say about that as we continue, but for now it gives us a hint — she says that this love they experience is bigger than them, it’s a multi-generational experience. Their parents also know that it is like to be under the apple tree, as do their parents, as do their parents. Love came before them, and love will exist long after they are gone.

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