You Can't Fix It Until You See It

You’ve probably seen it on TV. The host, Gordon Ramsay, a world-class chef, visits restaurants that are struggling. Well, let’s be honest, they are Kitchen Nightmares, hence the name of the show: Kitchen Nightmares. The restaurants are typically on the verge of closing and in desperate need of help. What's interesting is that sometimes the restaurants look appealing from the outside. Often, large amounts of time and money have been spent finding the right location and creating a welcoming atmosphere. But in every episode, the real problem is the same: the food is nasty.

One of the most intriguing and, often, funny parts of the show is how Ramsay tries over and over again to let the workers realize that they are on the verge of closing. The owners are realizing their position and want to get the workers to know it too, so they invite Ramsay in for a dose of reality. Actually, brutality would be closer to the truth. Chef Ramsay is brutal. Many times the owners are in denial about the quality of their food because they are consumed with running a restaurant and managing the staff. It usually takes half the show for them to really get honest about the things that need to change.

The problem? They are so busy serving bad food they don’t have time to cook good food. Because they are so busy, they don’t see the problem and the simple truth is this: Until you see the problem, you can’t fix the problem. You can’t fix it until you see it.

It is often like that in our personal lives and in our homes. We are so busy playing house that we don’t spend much time figuring out the kind of home we’re creating. So today I want to ask a very important question to us: What kind of home really pleases God? What would it be like if you were to live in or visit that kind of a home?

Take a look at our text for today. I believe it describes an atmosphere that has been invaded by the Holy Spirit and I also believe it draws us a picture of what our homes should be like:

Ephesians 5:18–21 NKJV

And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.

And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

BACKGROUND

Last week we introduced the concept of being filled with the Spirit as a means to empower the decisions we make as families and discover His specific will for our lives. This week I want to talk to you about how this filling of the Spirit should impact the very atmosphere of our homes. I want to show you, from this text, what your home can look like and feel like that will produce the world-changing results we’ve been talking about.

But even as I do that, I realize that we’ve probably got a “kitchen nightmares” problem right off the bat. No! I’m not talking about your spouse’s cooking! I’m simply saying that we are prone to be so close to the struggles of our homes that we may not even be able to identify them. And I have to say right off the bat that one of the greatest roadblocks to the Spirit-filled home could be our idea of the “Christian” home.

NEED

One of the main reasons I want to address the atmosphere of a Spirit-filled home is because I believe we have been so confused about what our homes should be like as Christ-followers. We have thought, perhaps, that having a Spirit-filled home should be AUTOMATIC. We’ve thought that, as long as everyone in our home was a believer, we have a Christian by virtue of that fact. But, just as being filled with the Spirit is not automatic for a Christian, having a Spirit-filled home is not automatic either.

Some Christians may have also thought that a Christian home just has to be REALISTIC. By “realistic,” I mean that a Christian home isn’t much different from a non-Christian home. After all, we all have the same issues as people and the home isn’t to be a place where we work, it’s supposed to be a place where we relax. It’s supposed to be a place where we can “drop our guard” and “be ourselves.” We have bought into the lie that a Christian home really isn’t much different from anyone else’s.

That’s why I want you to forget about having a “Christian” home, whatever that means. Today, I want us to focus on how we can have a Spirit-filled home. I say that because I firmly believe that when a “Christian” home becomes a Spirit-filled home, things drastically change. What’s that change like? Well in the first place, in a Spirit-filled home there will be:

D1 –

In a Spirit-filled home there will be joyful worship that focuses attention.

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Ephesians 5:19 NKJV

speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,

V19 reads, Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.

In these verses you see worship.

I think it is clear from this verse that we are talking about WORSHIP here. It says that we are speaking to each other in psalms. This would have been the continuation of the Jewish practice of actually singing the psalms from the Old Testament. It says that we are also speaking hymns. These are songs of praise to God that do not necessarily repeat a Bible verse, but do express Biblically compatible praise to God. It says that we are speaking spiritual songs. This doesn’t refer to another type of song as it does to the source of the music. They come from our spirit; they come from our heart. We are talking about worship here. When you look at these verses you see worship and . . .

In these verses you see joy.

When you look at these verses you see JOY. The mere fact that we are singing implies joy. Other religions have songs, I know, but there is something peculiarly Christian about singing. The church of Christ has always been a singing church because the church of Christ is a joyful church. In the same way, the Spirit-filled home is to be a place of joy because it is a place of worship. When you look at these verses you see worship and joy and because you see those things you also see . . .

In these verses you see focus.

Ephesians 5:19 NKJV

speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,

FOCUS. V19, again, reads: Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making melody IN YOUR HEART TO THE LORD. Do you see the focus? We are focused on the Lord. He is the object of our worship and the source of our joy. The home is to be a place of joyful worship that focuses our attention on God.

ILL

SLIDE - Pic - The throne of the third heaven

Over a period of twenty years, James Hampton completed this piece of art. Through his own experience of God’s word, he created a work entitled, The Throne of the Third Heaven, depicting what he envisioned heaven to be like. Using ordinary elements like the cardboard and plastic he found around his rented carriage house, he created the work. He collected old furniture, jelly jars discarded light bulbs, wine bottle, aluminum foil and many other mundane items and fashioned them together using glue, tape, tacks, and pins.

The most amazing part of the story is that no one even knew about the work until after Hampton died in 1964. When they opened his garage and found it, they found a Bible verse he had copied on the bulletin board. It was : Where there is no vision the people perish. He believed that people needed a vision of God’s glory, so he set out to single-handedly give it to them.

May I tell you, that is to be a picture of our homes. They are to be places where our vision of God transforms the mundane events of life into the very throne room of heaven. Our homes are to be a place where joyful worship focuses our attention on God.

APP

And I must tell you that this focus on God is critical to the kind of home we have. I say that because of how we’re wired. The truth is that what we do—our actions—flow from what we feel. I know that there are times when we must act against our feelings. When that alarm goes off in the morning, if you do what you feel like doing, you’ll lose your job! But most of the time, we act based on what we feel.

And what we feel flows out of what we think. The only reason we are able to get up when the alarm goes off is that we stop to think that if we don’t get up, we’ll lose our job and our desire to keep our job outweighs our desire for sleep. What we do flows from what we feel; what we feel flows from what we think.

And what we think flows from what we focus on. This is why worship is so important to the home! And I know that you might be saying, “That’s great, Rusty! I already know this. Tell me how to do it. How do I make my home a place of Spirit-filled worship?”

We must worship privately as an individual.

Well, worship at home begins with you individually. You and I must worship PRIVATELY. We must take the time to be alone with God. Without this, you will never be able to really worship with your family. You’ve got to know God before you can share Him. We must worship privately.

We must worship corporately as a family.

And then we must worship CORPORATELY AS A FAMILY. We must establish that time where we can come together and get in touch with God as a family unit. Now, I’m not going to tell you that this is necessarily easy, but I will tell you that it is important enough for you to make the effort it is going to take. Printed at the bottom of the outline are some resources you might use to do this.

But I have to tell you that, if all you do is rigidly have a “family altar” every night, you might still miss the worship thing. The truth is worship is more about who you are than about what you do. So, as we live our lives and walk through the day, we can begin to do that in an ATTITUDE of worship. That is at least as important as a daily meeting.

We must worship corporately with the church.

But not only do we worship privately and corporately as a family, we must also worship CORPORATELY WITH THE CHURCH. There is no substitute for worshiping together with the rest of the Body of Christ. Parents, you need to make sure that you are here when we worship and that your whole family is here. The joyful worship that you pursue at home will be enhanced when you joyfully worship at church and the focus of your home will turn from media, sports, problems, and the thousand other things that can occupy your attention to God.

TRANS

In a Spirit-filled home there is joyful worship that focuses attention and then, in a Spirit-filled home there is:

D2 –

In a Spirit-filled home there will be constant thanksgiving that creates faith.

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Ephesians 5:20 NKJV

giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Ephesians 5:19–20 NKJV

speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Ephesians 5:20

There are some ideas of Scripture that seem very hard to accept in our daily lives. That doesn’t mean, however, that these ideas are false. It usually means that we either don’t fully understand Scripture or that we have the wrong view of life. V20 is one of those Scriptures. Our text says, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, (watch!) giving thanks ALWAYS for ALL THINGS to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The Key Activity is giving thanks

Now the KEY ACTIVITY in which we are to engage is “giving thanks.” Now, I believe that the Holy Spirit knew what He was talking about here. In fact, thanksgiving is a extremely important part of the Spirit-filled life. It is also critical to the Spirit-filled home. Why? It’s because of what happens when I am genuinely thankful. Genuine thanksgiving flows from a specific recognition: I recognize that all I am and all I have has a divine Source. And I want to submit to you that, when I really begin to thank God, it creates and increases my faith. Why is that?

The key recognition is God’s sovereignty.

Well it’s because real thanksgiving has to flow from a KEY RECOGNITION. Genuine thanksgiving requires that I recognize that my God is Sovereign. That is that He is in control. That sovereignty is INCLUSIVE. Notice the verse: It says giving thanks ALWAYS. That means that being thankful is the only attitude I should EVER have. Why? Because I understand that the timing of all events is under His sovereign control.

God’s sovereignty is inclusive.

That sovereignty is INCLUSIVE. Notice the verse: It says giving thanks ALWAYS. That means that being thankful is the only attitude I should EVER have. Why? Because I understand that the timing of all events is under His sovereign control.

It also includes ALL THINGS. There is no circumstance that doesn’t first pass through His hand, so, if I truly believe that God is in control of all times and if I truly believe that God is in control of all things, there will never be a time when my ingratitude is a proper response. I am thankful TO GOD, through the Lord Jesus Christ for all things.

And here’s the point for our homes: Our homes must be places where we learn to believe in the full sovereignty of God and in which we fully trust Him to achieve our good and His glory. So, when I THANK God for things, even the things I may not like, I am expressing faith that He is in control. This will create and increase the faith of our families.

APP

And I believe it is very important that we know this! Mom and Dad, we have to lead this in our homes. We have to have an atmosphere of thanksgiving that praises God for answers to prayer, sometimes even before they come.

ARG

And, right away, I can hear some parents object: “But wait a minute, Rusty. What happens when I thank God for an answer or we pray for something together as a family and it doesn’t happen? Won’t that make my kids lose their faith?”

Well, that is a good question, but I really think the answer to that question depends on what you have told them about God to begin with. You see, we don’t trust God because we can turn Him into a fairy god-mother of our family who turns pumpkins into chariots and mice into horses. No, we trust God because He is God and, no matter what happens, He is good. That kind of environment will create faith, especially when you as a parent genuinely believe it and communicate it.

ILL

I grew up hearing these kind of thankful confessions that built my faith. When I was 7 or 8 years old, my family lived in Columbia, NC. I loved it! We lived out in the country and we really could leave our front door standing open without worrying about anything being stolen. I lived on this country road that was so deserted my mom and dad would let me ride my bicycle on the road at 7 years old.

But while I loved it, it wasn’t so easy on my parents. There were some pretty cantankerous folks in that church and some of the business meetings were the stuff of legends. Even at my age, I remember the tension so, after a couple of years, Dad felt God calling him to resign.

There was only one problem: My mom didn’t work outside the home and he had a wife and two kids to support. He resigned without having anywhere to go. On the positive side, the church allowed a 90 day notice before he had to be out of the parsonage. The days flew by as he looked for another place to go. On day 89, he still didn’t have a place. He had talked to a few churches, but nothing had opened up. On the last day before we had to be out, he finally heard from a church and the next day we were on our way to Jacksonville, NC.

I had a conversation with dad about this when I was working on this message. I asked him if he was afraid. He said, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid, but then he mentioned what David wrote in the psalms: “What time I am afraid, I will trust in You.” You know, he may have been afraid, but I don’t remember him saying that. All I remember is what he always told my sister and me: “God’s going to take care of us.” His thankful, faith-filled attitude created faith in me.

That’s what can happen in the Spirit-fllled home: A positive faith is created that causes children to take God seriously and really believe that He is able to deliver them. So let me ask you: What kind of home do you have? Is it a place of complaint and negativity, or is it a positive, thankful, faith-filled place?

That’s the kind of home that is produced when a Christian home becomes a Spirit-filled home. There is joyful worship that focuses attention and there is constant thanksgiving that creates faith and then there is:

D3 –

In a Spirit-filled home there will be deep reverence that compels submission.

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Ephesians 5:18–21 NKJV

Let’s read these verses one more time: And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. Our last instruction is to submit to one another IN THE FEAR OF GOD.

One commentator wrote of this:

Although many modern translations tone down the term to ‘reverence’ or ‘respect’ (cf. RSV, NEB, JB, NIV, NRSV), these renderings are too soft to catch the nuance intended. ‘Fear’ is still the best translation. Although it does not convey the idea of ‘terror’ or ‘intimidation’ for those who are in Christ, it signifies a sense of awe in the presence of one who is Lord and coming Judge.

This is a very powerful motivation. In fact, it is so powerful I would say that this need for the “fear of God” is universally present in everyone.

ILL

SLIDE - Pic of article

Back in 2016, Psychology Today published an interesting article entitled, “It’s Not All About you!” The gist of the article was this: Everyone needs to cultivate a sense of Awe. It defined this “sense of awe” as an emotion of self-transcendence, a feeling of admiration and elevation in the face of something greater than self.

A popular theoretical physicist wrote: "Awe gives you an existential shock. You realize that you are hardwired to be a little selfish, but you are also dependent on something bigger than yourself." Being enraptured is a way "to remove the tyranny of the ego."

Therapist Robert Leahy, PhD writes: "Awe is the opposite of rumination. It clears away inner turmoil with a wave of outer immensity."

Social scientists have found that when people experience a sense of awe, they feel more empathetic and more connected with others. One scientist concluded, "Wonder pulls us together—a counterforce to all that seems to be tearing us apart."

The Wharton School of Business evaluated the New York Times' most emailed articles and found that the ones that evoked awe were the most shared.

The truth that the article missed was this: We all have the need for awe because that’s the way God created us. There is a “God-shaped” hole in every soul that causes us to long for a relationship with God. But knowing that we have the need doesn’t fill the hole. We have to genuinely see God for Who He is.

ILL

SLIDE - Pic of earth

I tell you there is every reason to be in awe of who God is. Just consider His work in making this little rock of a planet we live on. Did you know that there are 150 characteristics that make this planet uniquely suited for life?

Consider the size of our planet. The earth is the perfect size to support life. It is the mass of a planet that determines it’s gravity. If the earth were only slightly larger, the gravity would have been strong enough to keep methane and ammonia close to the surface making our breathing impossible. Methane and ammonia of molecular weights of 16 and 17.

However, if the earth were only slightly smaller, the gravity would be less. In that case, water vapor, which has a molecular weight of 18 and is also necessary for life, would not be held close to the surface and would dissipate into the atmosphere. The earth is the perfect size to sustain life.

And just consider the rotation of the earth. A slower rotation would bring much more severe temperature swings. Days would be so hot that you would literally cook like your Sunday morning pot roast. Nights would be so cold that you would freeze. On the other hand, a faster rotation would bring winds that would be impossible to survive. For instance, Jupiter routinely has winds of 1000 mph!

And speaking of Jupiter, just consider the earth’s strategic proximity to that massive planet. Jupiter has 318 times the mass of the earth so it creates 318 times the gravity. Jupiter literally acts like a vacuum cleaner, sucking up all the meteors and other space debris which otherwise would make a catastrophic impact with our planet.

Now those are only three of the 150 characteristics of fine tuning that make the earth unique, and by the way, the number of those characteristics keeps rising. In the 60’s when there were only two such characteristics, it was thought that 1 out of every 10,000 stars would have a planet capable of life. But as the number of fine tuning characteristics have risen the number of potential stars have shrunk to less than zero. As a matter of fact, now only 1 out of every 10 to the 73rd power stars could support life. That’s a 1 with seventy-three zeroes behind it. But get a load of this: There are only about 10 to the 23rd power such stars in the KNOWN UNIVERSE! We serve an awesome God. All you have to do is look around you to see that truth.

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Ephesians 5:21 NKJV

submitting to one another in the fear of God.

But our verses tell us that, out of this reality of Who God is, must come a response. V21 says, SUBMITTING TO ONE ANOTHER in the fear of God. When we understand just Who God is, it produces a couple of qualities in us:

It produces HUMILITY. When I understand Who God is and how He has stooped to reach out to me, that humbles me and makes me want to reach out to others. All of my arrogance has melted in the hot sunlight of His amazing power and I am filled with deep humility.

And that deep humility produces SURRENDER. Because I have been humbled by my view of God I am willing to surrender my desires and my plans to Christ and surrender myself to serve my family.

ARG

Now, next week we are going to see how this humility works itself out in the roles that husband and wife have within the home. The wife is told to submit and the husband is told to love his wife. Now, just saying that word “submit,” could cause a CNN anchor to howl in protest. It is certainly not very popular in our culture. In fact, you may be asking, right now: Why should I? Why should I submit to my husband?

Well, based on this verse, I have to say that submission is not something that is demanded, or even commanded; It is compelled. The person who truly connects with who God is will be compelled to mutual submission.

APP

And I believe that the average family today needs to hear this. We need to hear it because real Biblical submission flows out of a mutual reverence for God. The proper reverence for God will absolutely bring obedience to God. When I revere Him, I obey Him.

And because I have this deep reverence for God, I begin to love like He loves. I begin to genuinely love my family beyond their abilities to meet my needs or make me look good. I come to understand what mutual submission means. I t means that I am willing to yield to my wife in order to do what’s best for her. It means that I am even willing to sometimes be mistreated by my spouse because I am living in such awe of God. I am submissive to him or her, not because I am checking a box. I am submitting to him or her because I am submitted to the awesome power of Who God is. I have a deep reverence that compels mutual submission.

So, does this kind of mutual humility characterize your home? Are you willing to be taken advantage of in order serve your family? Are you willing to overlook the inevitable slights and even failures that are a part of every home? That takes a humility that flows from our deep awareness of Who God is. Since we fear Him, we obey Him and we submit to one another.

And I tell you that this kind of living is so diametrically different from the world.

VIS

SLIDE - Pic - Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor, whom I am not sure would claim to be a Christian and certainly not an evangelical, nonetheless wrote about his childhood and growing up around his grandfather.

He said that living on the farm, as my grandfather did, enabled him to choose a different way of life and to live by his own light. And his light certainly was the gospel.

He wasn't a particularly successful farmer. He worked about 160 acres and raised dairy cows and a mixture of crops. His life was centered on his faith in a way that is impossible in the city.

He began every day with a family altar, right after breakfast. My Uncle Jim, who took over the farm when my grandfather died, carried on this practice. You milked the cows before breakfast. Then, after you had your Post-Toasties and your coffee, you went into the front room--seldom used for anything else--and you sat there and you read a chapter and you talked about it and then you knelt down and you prayed for as long as he figured was necessary--a long, slow prayer, everybody kneeling, putting your face into the sofa. I remember the smells of that sofa, of other members of the family. Only after this was done would you go out, hitch up the team, and cultivate the fields.

It was very lovely to me as a kid. It was a way in which we were different from other people.

Then he closes with this statement: “In the country you could do that.” You could add “In the country during a simpler time you could do that.”

I guess the whole point of this message is this: Having a Spirit-filled home should not be a weird thing for a Christian. It should be normal. Maybe you can’t gather your family for a family altar in the morning, but that doesn’t mean that just because you don’t live in a different decade on a farm that you cannot have a Spirit-filled home. I believe it is something you not only can do, it is something you must do. You can pursue a home in which joyful worship focuses attention, constant thanksgiving creates faith and deep reverence compels submission. You can have a home whose atmosphere is charged with the presence of God. You can have a Spirit-filled home!

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