Sermon Tone Analysis

Intro to conflict

A local lawmaker running for re-election was going door-to-door to check in with members in her district when she got a surprise visit from a local deputy.

According to the story in The Oregonian, State Rep. Janelle Bynum was taking note on her smartphone of her previous conversation when she noticed the deputy in his patrol car, along the other side of southeast 125th Avenue.

Officer Campbell asked if she was selling something, which gave Bynum an opportunity to introduce herself as a state legislator.

In an attempt to make some sense of the situation, Bynum asked to get in touch with the suspicious neighbor.

They eventually spoke on the phone, and the neighbor apologized.

Audio from the 911 call revealed that the neighbor initially felt Bynum had "no apparent reason" to be walking from house to house, despite the fact that she had campaign flyers on her person.

When the call-taker asked the neighbor if she'd talked to Bynum, she felt that Bynum was avoiding her, despite the fact that Bynum had spoken to her 3-year-old son.

Both Bynum and Campbell left in good spirits, and eventually posed together for a selfie.

But Bynum was still surprised that after visiting an estimated 70,000 homes as part of her previous campaign, there were still constituents who would rather call the police than attempt to engage her in conversation.

"It boils down to people not knowing their neighbors and people having a sense of fear in their neighborhoods, which is kind of my job to help eradicate.

But at the end of the day, it's important for people to feel like they can talk to each other to help minimize misunderstandings."

When there is conflict all, caused by others, or brought on by our own dysfunction, how can we live a happy and productive life?

God made us to live life to the fullest.

(John 10:10)

Unhealthy conflict is an impediment to living a life to the fullest.

So we should be aware of conflict in our lives and handle it accordingly.

Conflict

Conflict is a difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.

The four primary causes of conflict.

1. Poor Communication

2. Differences in values, goals, gifts, calling, priorities, expectations, interests, or opinions.

3. Competition over limited resources, such as time or money.

4. Can be caused or aggravated by sinful attitudes and habits that lead to sinful words and actions.

Conflict is not necessarily bad.

For example...

Conflict is natural and it can be beneficial.

Conflict is natural and it can be beneficial.

Conflict is natural and it can be detrimental.

For example...

The key to peace - surrendering to Christ and the Gospel

Responses to conflict

As we experience conflict, it affects each of us in various ways.

Sometimes if its a competition, say, in a sport, we want to win.

We hear a lot about winning.

Winning the argument, battle, court case, sporting event.

How we try to win also varies.

Escape Responses

Escape Responses

Attack Responses

dEniAl—One way to escape from a conflict is to pretend that a problem does not exist.

Another way is to refuse to do what should

be done to resolve a conflict properly.These responses bring only temporary relief and usu- ally make matters worse (see ).

Escape Responses

Denial

— One way to escape from a conflict is to pretend that a problem does not exist.

Another way is to refuse to do what should

be done to resolve a conflict properly.

These responses bring only temporary relief and usually make matters worse (see ).

Flight

— Another way to escape from a conflict is to run away.This may take the form of pulling away from a relationship, quitting a job, filing for divorce, or changing churches.

Flight may be legitimate in extreme circumstances (see ), but in most cases it only postpones a proper solution to a problem.

Suicide

FligHT—Another way to escape from a con- flict is to run away.This may take the form of pulling away from a relationship, quitting a job, filing for divorce, or changing churches.

Flight may be legitimate in extreme circumstances (see ), but in most cases it only postpones a proper solution to a problem.

Suicide - Losing all hope

—When people lose all hope of resolving a conflict, they may seek to escape from the situation (or make a desperate cry for help) by attempting to take their own lives (see ). Suicide is never a right way to deal with conflict.

Attack responses

Assault

— Some people try to overcome an opponent by using various forms of force or intimidation, such as verbal attacks (including gossip and slander), physical violence, or efforts to damage a person financially or professionally (see ).

Such conduct always makes conflict worse.

Litigation

— Although some conflicts may legitimately be taken before a civil judge (see ; ), lawsuits usually damage relationships, diminish our Christian witness, and often fail to achieve complete justice.This is why Christians are commanded to make every effort to settle their differences within the church rather than in the civil courts (see ; Matt.

5:25-26).

liTigATiOn—Although some conflicts may legitimately be taken before a civil judge (see ; ), lawsuits usually damage relationships, diminish our Christian witness, and often fail to achieve complete justice.This is why Christians are commanded to make every effort to

settle their differences within the church rather than in the civil courts (see ; Matt.

5:25-26).

Murder

MUrdEr—In extreme cases, people may be so desperate to win a dispute that they will try

— In extreme cases, people may be so desperate to win a dispute that they will try to kill those who oppose them (see ).

While most people would not actually kill some- one, we still stand guilty of murder in God’s eyes when we harbor anger or contempt in our hearts toward others (see ; ).

to kill those who oppose them (see ).

While most people would not actually kill some- one, we still stand guilty of murder in God’s eyes when we harbor anger or contempt in our hearts toward others (see ; ).

Peacemaking responses (Matthew 18)

Overlook an offense

Reconciliation

Negotiation

Mediation

Arbitration

Accountability

Me (How do I struggle with this?)

Sometimes its hard at the moment.

Balance between dealing with it at the moment and calming down and thinking and praying.

We (How do we all struggle with this?)

I suspect we each go back and forth from time to time.

In fact, when we accept Jesus, we are forgiven, but we aren’t promised immediate skill in living life automatically, fully equipped and energized to respond to all conflict always in the peacemaking realm.

We may not even know they exist or how to utilize them.

Even in the Bible people struggled.

Great men and women of renown.

Joshua and Reubonites.

Story of Joshua...Reubenites, the Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh had property on the other side of the Jordan.

Joshua told them that they did a great job during the conquest and they were always faithful.

Now that there was peace and it was time to settle, he gave them permission to head home to the other side to settle in their lands.

So they did.

Shortly afterwards the children of Israel saw major trouble on the horizon.

Literally.

Sent Phinehas, son of priest Eleazar, and 10 military leaders.

Attack mode.

Get the picture.

These are their aunts and uncles on the other side.

Their cousins.

Family.