My Response is My Responsibility
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The Last Freedom
The Last Freedom
Viktor Frankl was a concentration camp survivor during Holocaust and made observations of the prisoners how they responded to the same depressive situation. Some, amazingly, and some, not so good.
He wrote a book called “Man’s Search for Meaning”; here are some quotes from his book to consider:
“When we are no longer able to change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
“When we are no longer able to change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human freedom’s to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”
“Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.”
Blame Game
Blame Game
Often we are deceived in life to believe that we can’t make a difference to our circumstances.
If we are struggling with hereditary problems or negative propensities that were cultivated in our child-hood, we tend to blame or make excuse for the existence of those evils because of our parents or guardians.
If we are struggling with a difficult situation and manifest doubt and anger at the situation, we feel justified because the situation is to blame.
If we are struggling with what others say to us and react in a harsh way, we feel justified because we say, “they provoked me!”
What if it is not OK?
Maybe it’s not OK to excuse our feelings because of people or situations.
Examples of people who blamed others for their current situation or failed to take responsibility:
Adam and Eve:
12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
Adam blamed God and Eve for his current situation of guilt.
13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
Eve blamed the serpent for her guilt, and God for making the serpent.
Cain:
9 And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?
Cain refused to take responsibility for his brother’s welfare.
Sarah:
5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my maid into your arms; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes. May the Lord judge between you and me.”
Sarah blamed Abraham for the messy situation with Hagar and became bitter toward Hagar.
Aaron:
Exo
22 Aaron said, “Do not let the anger of my lord burn. You know that the people are set on evil.
23 For they said to me, ‘Make a god for us which will go before us, for this Moses, the man that brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’
24 I said to them, ‘Whoever has any gold, let them break it off.’ So they gave it to me, and then I threw it into the fire, and this calf came out.’ ”
Aaron tried to blame the people for the worshiping of the golden calf by highlighting their evilness.
He also lies to try and save face by saying that the golden calf miraculously came out of the fire when he threw their gold jewelry into the fire.
What we read is something that we all struggle with. I mean, every single person.
Because this is the inheritance that we have received from Adam, a disposition to shift responsibility on others or on circumstances.
Gospel Workers, Revised and Enlarged Development and Service
Man can shape circumstances, but circumstances should not be allowed to shape the man. We should seize upon circumstances as instruments with which to work. We are to master them, but should not permit them to master us.
Men of power are often those who have been opposed, baffled, and thwarted. By calling their energies into action, the obstacles they meet prove to them positive blessings. They gain self-reliance. Conflict and perplexity call for the exercise of trust in God, and for that firmness which develops power.
Self-Deceived
Self-Deceived
When we are in a state of shifting responsibility to others and not taking ownership of our own words and actions we are insecure, empty, having no identity, and self-deceived.
12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: But he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
2 A [self-confident] fool has no delight in understanding but only in revealing his personal opinions and himself.
2 A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.
2 All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; But the Lord weigheth the spirits.
2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: But the Lord pondereth the hearts.
Why is every man’s way right in his own eyes?
Because they set themselves up as a law or standard rather than observing that the Bible and Jesus Christ is the only standard by which we are to compare our thoughts and actions.
They are “clean” in their own eyes:
The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary, Volume 3 2. Are Clean
Though most men are aware of defects in their lives, they seldom deliberately sin without in a measure justifying themselves. They may compare themselves with others and decide that, in view of their background and difficulties, they are at least as good as others are. Or they may reason that they have certain weaknesses in view of which the Lord will forgive occasional deviations from right. They accept the standards that God has set up, but are not ready to keep them to the full.
The result of such deception is:
Deceit, broken marriages, broken friendships, broken communion with God.
What if my reaction is not the result of people or circumstances?
What if it’s not people or circumstances that cause me to be the way I am; what if people and circumstances reveal the way I am?
STORY: Speck of Sand, Eye, and Oyster.
When we react to people in an unloving or unchristian way, it reveals that I have issues.
My souls is lacking that grace that supplies love and piety.
Even if the other person is at 70% fault (supposedly) and only 30% is your fault?
No matter what, you have that 30% to deal with!
How we react to certain things reveals what’s in the heart
18 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:
20 These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.
The reality is that we have people that cross our paths and situations that confront us that are “irritants.” They irritate us and put pressure. They get us heated, but always, and I mean always, we are left with a choice: to react in a godly way, or in a sinful way.
To blame people or situations is an attempt to take the easy way out and if we take this route we will always wind up as “the victim” and miss out on God’s rewards.
Christ challenges us when it comes to loving and respecting others even when they are not matching up to our “standards.”
44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
45 that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 And if you greet your brothers only, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?
48 Therefore be perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect.
The image of God is reflected in us when we can demonstrate love and respect, and maturity despite circumstances or people’s words and actions.
We need to remember this statement:
“My response is my responsibility.”
But what if we feel that is overwhelming, and that we’re just not strong enough to rise above our feelings and circumstances?
What needs to happen?
Broken
Broken
We need to surrender ourselves and our thoughts to the Lord and be broken.
18 Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken; but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
lk
We need to allow God’s Spirit to break down our deceptive views of ourselves and others and be broken on the Rock, Christ Jesus and see ourselves as we really are taking responsibility for our own actions.
44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,
45 that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
47 And if you greet your brothers only, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so?
48 Therefore be perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect.
Our perspective and reason to be mature and Christ-like needs to change.
.
Our perspective and reason to be mature and Christ-like needs to change.
To be free from negative thoughts and words that may come about through circumstances or people, we need to understand our why.
Why should we speak kindly to someone who is unkind?
Why should we be mature when they are not?
Why should I respond differently to hard circumstances?
Why should I respond in an honoring way to my parents?
Why should I respond in a loving way to my children who are disobeying me?
Why should I respond in a respectful way to my husband when he is unloving?
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
25 But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Why should I respond in a loving way to my wife when she is critical?
Why should I respond in a respectful way to my husband when he is unloving?
23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
25 But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Because what we do is in reality not to men, but to God.
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
At the end of it all, our response to people and situations is not about the person or the situation!
Life and how we respond to it is about you and Jesus Christ.
Everything else in life is a consequence of our obedience or disobedience to God’s commands.
God says, if we obey, we shall live, if we disobey, we will die.
Receiving and practicing God’s wisdom gains favor with God and with men.
Is this easy? By no means.
In fact we will fall many times in striving to reflect the image of God and obey His word.
16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: But the wicked shall fall into mischief.
Pro
But this is OK IF we our eyes are on Christ, because when we fall, the Lord will lift us up.
12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
The ultimate answer that we need to be free from sin, from always being “victims” or the sport of circumstances is Jesus Christ.
31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
jn 8
There was a bit of an uproar with this said by Jesus because the Jews thought that being Abraham’s offspring, that they were anything but slaves.
But what did Jesus mean by declaring that the truth shall make you free?
pro 16 6-7
Was it political freedom?
34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
35 And the servant abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever.
36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
34
Jesus was talking about experiencing inner, spiritual freedom; us being free from sin.
When we allow our ourselves to react negatively toward others or become a sport to circumstances, we are indeed in abject slavery and will always be hopeless, helpless victims.
In this state, we always be destined for unhappiness.
But if you have received the Son, you have life; you have freedom from these emotions and responses.
Someone can affect you, but they never can control you.
You can experience disappointment, but it’s your choice to be disrespectful or be unloving.
I can experience hurt, but it is my choice to hate.
6 By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: And by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil.
7 When a man’s ways please the Lord, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.
French Christian during WWII.
Yes we can be free even in the most difficult of situations. We can have freedom in Christ.
16 As free people, do not use your liberty as a covering for evil, but live as servants of God.
17 Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.
If we are free in Christ we can say:
That no matter what is said to me or what happens to me, I am not going to react to it, but instead will respond.
I will respond because I am a new creature in Christ Jesus.
I will respond because old things have passed away, and behold all things have become new.
I will respond because to react is the old man, and I refuse to live in subjection to him.
I will respond because I have yielded my will to God to create in me both the desire and the ability to do what pleases Him.
COL 159