This Present Distress

Introduction:

One of my jobs as a pastor is to strengthen the family unit through the principles of God’s Word.

The way that a pastor interprets and preaches the scripture to his congregation will make all the difference in someone being oppressed by the gospel or someone being set free by the gospel.

As we observe the ministry of Jesus, it was a ministry of forgiveness, patience, mercy, and grace. Outside of the blasphemy and rejection of the Holy Spirit there was no unpardonable sin.

But in the Church world today there are many that would teach there is an unforgivable sin today which is divorce.

Conservative churches have taught for years that when a man or woman get a divorce that they are no longer allowed to minister for the kingdom of God. They can no longer hold any position in the church. And because of this teach many have left the church in search of love and acceptance.

Is this really what the Bible teaches us? Is this truly the way that God sees a divorcee?

I want to spend a moment this morning on the ugly side of marriage. The 51% side that live with the heartache and residual effects of a marriage gone bad.

Is it ok for you to marry again?

Is it ok for you to serve in the church?

Does God now view you as an adulterer if you marry again?

I have heard it said that divorce is worse than death because the other person doesn’t go away. All of the hurt feelings and pains of that former relationship resurface every weekend when they come to pick up the kids and drop them back off again.

So what does the Bible teach about divorce and remarriage?

This is an area that Paul wanted to make sure that he covered in this section of love and marriage. Divorce is not a new thing. The Jews were dealing with it as well as the Gentiles.

Let’s look at as Paul gives some advise on this matter.

1 Cor 7:25-

1 Corinthians 7:25–26 ESV

25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.

Let’s define our terms.

Betrothed is a virgin that has never been married.

Bound to a wife = marriage

Free from a wife = divorce

The Present Distress

Divorce is the result of a broken relationship brought on by sin.

Divorce itself is not a sin, but sin will always be the cause of divorce.

One or both parties will be at fault of not loving like they are supposed to do.

God the Father is currently in a state of divorce from bride Israel because of her rebellion and sin. He will reconcile with her in the end times.

Where does the stigma of divorce come from in the Bible.

Divorce goes against God’s original design of marriage.

Mark 10:5–9 ESV

5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Mark 10:

Mark 10:6–9 ESV

6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

“Marriage serves as a picture of The everlasting love relationship between Christ and the Church.”

Christian couples are to illustrate the eternal security that we have in Christ through the love that we have for one another.

Men are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

Women are to honor their husbands as the Church honors Christ.

Ephesians 5:31–33 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Eph 5:

The overseer of the Church must be the “husband of one wife.”

1 Tim 3:1-

1 Timothy 3:1–3 ESV

1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Full devotion of the man of God should be toward his wife.

This passage is warning the minister against the compromises of the world in this present distress of taking more than one wife.

He is to rule his house well with the love of Christ. if that is the case there will be no reason for divorce.

In this list of qualification all these can be repented of and corrected except “the husband of one wife if you take it to mean not divorced.

This would be a black mark that would take you out of ministry.

God has established a pattern of forgiveness and usage after the most heinous of sins against him.

God used Abraham after he lied about his wife and she married the Egyptian King.

God used Moses after he committed murder and ran to back side of the desert.

God used David after he committed adultery with Bathsheba and killed her husband and friend Uriah the Hittite.

Jesus used Peter after he denied the Lord three times in his hour of need.

The more consistent interpretation would be a lifestyle practice of “the husband of one wife” which is exactly what it says.

The Present Focus.

1 Cor 7:

1 Corinthians 7:27–28 ESV

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

1 Cor 7

If you’re currently married, make it work by working it out.

Learn the interpersonal relationship skill necessary to work out your junk.

Interpersonal Relationship skills

Take responsibility for your own junk.

Learn to listen with intent and understanding.

Learn to articulate your feelings in a clear non-provoking way.

Seek to honor Christ in every action and conversation of your marriage.

Every case is different which is one of the things that makes my job so hard. In this present distress here are some times that I would consider putting divorce on the table.

Toxic Situation in the Home:

Unrepentant adultery.

Physical abuse or bodily harm.

Illegal activity in the home.

If you’re divorced seek not a wife.

1 Corinthians 7:27–28 ESV

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

“But” is a conjunction that would tie these two verses together.

Focus on your service to the Lord as we see His return coming soon.

The only way to be freed from a wife is divorce or death.

If you remarry, you have not sinned.

Focus on your service to the Lord as we see His return coming soon.

God knows what you need and will provide the right partner for you if necessary.

1 Corinthians 7:27–28 ESV

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

1 Cor 7:

Navigating a Divorced Relationship

The only way to be freed from a

1. Stay single until you rediscover the real you.

If you jump in to soon you bring the ex-spouse with you.

Give it enough time to find your true independence from the other person.

Get them out of your head.

Wait until your action have nothing to do with the old relationship.

2. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive.

There is no need to hold anger over something that is dead.

Let it go for your own sanity and serenity.

3. Live at peace as much as possible.

Compromise when possible.

Desire good for your ex-husband or wife.

4. Work on the better you that you want to be.

Take ownership of your failure in the marriage.

Focus on drawing closer to the Lord

Closing Remarks

Marriage is sacred in the eyes of the Lord. Therefore, we should honor it the way God does.

Divorce is not a plan but rather a result of bad choices, bad communication, and sin.

Marriage is not the goal of life. Building the kingdom of God is the goal and your marriage is a tool to make that happen.