True Forgiveness

Introduction

Imagine with me a parenting scenario. You are minding your own business when suddenly, you hear the familiar sound. A smack and a cry. You run to the other room and one is crying. You ask, what is the matter and the answer is Johnny hit me. What do you do? Johnny say you’re sorry. Now Susie say you forgive. And then, you go back to the kitchen and the problem is solved, right.

A lot of times it is. Especially the younger the kids are. And if we were to be real honest, it is fixed a lot more than we as adults do. Because if we’re honest, we don’t forgive that easy. We don’t let go of hurts and pains.

Our sermon today attempts to answer the question as to what true forgiveness is all about. And I pray that as you sit here this morning, you will evaluate your heart and ask, do I really forgive like I need to.

Forgiveness is much more extensive than what we often like.

In order to see the reason for the question that Peter asks, and the subsequent parable, think about what happens in this chapter. Jesus is explaining how we ought to be willing to humble ourselves as a child, how we should not offend, and how God chases us down as a shepherd searches for his one lost sheep. And then, as we mentioned last week, we talked about how to deal with someone who has sinned, who has committed error against us, and what should we do. Part of that is confronting them, and if they repent, we should forgive them and drop the matter.

That leads us, then this exchange between Jesus and Peter. Peter, thinking that he has this all figured out, goes to Jesus and asks this question, “How often do I forgive?”

Forgiveness doesn’t know a limitation in terms of quantity.

Matthew 18:22 ESV

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

The New International Version Chapter 18

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. l

Forgiveness does not know a limitation in terms of quality.

Understand, the purpose of this question is because Peter has been steeped in Rabbinical tradition. And the Rabbis taught that forgiveness only needed to occur three times, since that is what happened with God. God forgave the enemies of Israel three times. They based this on

Amos 1:3

The New International Version Chapter 1

3 This is what the LORD says:

“For three sins of Damascus,

even for four, I will not relent.

Amos 1:3 ESV

Thus says the Lord: “For three transgressions of Damascus, and for four, I will not revoke the punishment, because they have threshed Gilead with threshing sledges of iron.

The New International Version Chapter 1

3 This is what the LORD says:

“For three sins of Damascus,

even for four, I will not relent.

 This is what the LORD says: “For three sins of Damascus, even for four, I will not relent.

The Rabbis believed that these verses taught that the Israelites only had to forgive two or three times. And so for Peter to come to Jesus and say, how about seven times, well he was just being a big man.

The Rabbis believed that these verses taught that the Israelites only had to forgive two or three times. And so for Peter to come to Jesus and say, how about seven times, well he was just being a big man.

But of course, Jesus says something shocking, something totally beyond what Peter imagined. Not just seven times, but seventy seven times. Of course, we may know it as seventy times seven, but the point is either way made. You forgive an innumerable amount of times.

The New American Commentary: Matthew 2. Implications for the Church: Humility and Forgiveness (18:1–35)

Jesus takes Peter’s number of completeness and multiplies it considerably. Few people ever have to forgive the same person this often, at least not over a short period of time. But Jesus’ point is not to withhold forgiveness after the seventy-eighth (or 491st) offense.

This is what I mean. Forgiveness is not measured simply by saying I forgive once or twice. Forgiveness is often much more extensive than we can even imagine sometimes, and sometimes it is forgiving over and over.

A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. As the crowd was gathered around, they asked the wife, what is the secret to the long and happy marriage. She responded, “When we got married, I made a list of ten things and told my husband, no matter what, I will always forgive you for these ten things.

This got the crowd going, so they asked, what’s on the list. She replied, to be honest, i forgot, but every time he did something that made me mad, i would look at him and say, lucky for you, that’s one of the ten.

Sometimes forgiveness is a long process. Sometimes it’s a long road. Sometimes it requires a lot of patience, but we understand that it takes more than what we want to give.

But it’s not just how often, it’s also that

Forgiveness does not know a limitation in terms of quality.

Forgiveness does not know a limitation in terms of quality.

Forgiveness does not know a limitation in terms of quality.

 This is what the LORD says: “For three sins of Damascus, even for four, I will not relent.

The Rabbis believed that these verses taught that the Israelites only had to forgive two or three times. And so for Peter to come to Jesus and say, how about seven times, well he was just being a big man.

“For three sins of Damascus,

even for four, I will not relent.

But of course, Jesus says something shocking, something totally beyond what Peter imagined. Not just seven times, but seventy seven times. Of course, we may know it as seventy times seven, but the point is either way made. You forgive an innumerable amount of times.

The New American Commentary: Matthew 2. Implications for the Church: Humility and Forgiveness (18:1–35)

Jesus takes Peter’s number of completeness and multiplies it considerably. Few people ever have to forgive the same person this often, at least not over a short period of time. But Jesus’ point is not to withhold forgiveness after the seventy-eighth (or 491st) offense.

This is what I mean. Forgiveness is not measured simply by saying I forgive once or twice. Forgiveness is often much more extensive than we can even imagine sometimes, and sometimes it is forgiving over and over.

A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. As the crowd was gathered around, they asked the wife, what is the secret to the long and happy marriage. She responded, “When we got married, I made a list of ten things and told my husband, no matter what, I will always forgive you for these ten things.

This got the crowd going, so they asked, what’s on the list. She replied, to be honest, i forgot, but every time he did something that made me mad, i would look at him and say, lucky for you, that’s one of the ten.

Sometimes forgiveness is a long process. Sometimes it’s a long road. Sometimes it requires a lot of patience, but we understand that it takes more than what we want to give.

But it’s not just how often, it’s als0

The New International Version. (2011). (). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Forgiveness does not know a limitation in terms of quality.

Look at verse 24 again.

Matthew 18:24 ESV

When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.

Understand the magnificence of this statement. Greek ten thousand talents; a talent was worth about 20 years of a day laborer’s wages.

The New International Version Chapter 18

24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

The New International Version Chapter 18

As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

Understand the magnificence of this statement. Greek ten thousand talents; a talent was worth about 20 years of a day laborer’s wages.

In other words, this guy owed as much money as it would take you 200,000 years to make. Some of you all are in your sixties and your thinking retirement is around the corner, you’ve worked 50 years. No, you have 199,940 years to go to pay off this debt. Set your alarm tonight, you are getting up tomorrow.

The New International Version. (2011). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Obviously, Jesus is making a dramatic point here. That point is the magnitude of this man’s debt. And if he can’t pay it, he has sold all his assets, and now all he has is his wife and children to sell off as slaves. He will never pay off this debt.

And that’s the point. We’re good with forgiving the person who cut us off in traffic and there’s no harm done. We get angry, but we make it to work, we don’t get in a wreck, and it’s all good. Most of the time we can forgive minor offenses. Sometimes we can’t. We were at a fast food restaurant recently and a man was upset at his order and he wanted a refund and then he just went on and on about how rotten the place and the manager was and I wanted to get up and just say sir, you’re eating cheap fast food. You got your money back, let it go. There’s another restaurant right across the street.

But what about the major offenses that come in our life. what about the major things that happen to us, that ruin our lives, that destroy our homes and families, do we, have we forgiven?

Lorne was a man who had been greatly wronged when a drunk driver caused the horrific accident that killed Lorne’s wife and son. He spent many years battling the anger and hurt caused by one man’s poor decision. So, when he shared the story on Facebook of coming face to face with his family’s killer, I certainly wasn’t expecting it end like this. . .

“I lost my son and wife, 33 years ago to a horrible accident. They were hit head-on by a seven-time convicted drunk driver.

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Credit: ThinkStock

For three years, I was a complete mess. I couldn’t hold a job. I was not fit company to be with other people. I grieved tremendously. I still do.

But one day I was given advice that transformed me.

A prison priest told me to consider visiting the man in prison who had killed my wife and child. I thought it was a crazy idea, but I was desperate for some sort of hope of closure.

It took me a year to work up the courage to face the man. But I did it. And what I saw and felt in that interaction changed me forever.

The man begged me for my forgiveness. And after hearing his story, I did forgive him. What drove him to alcohol in the first place was the death of his own seven-year-old child to cancer. He vowed that if I could find it in my heart to forgive him for what he did, he would never drink another drop of alcohol in his life.

I’ve kept in touch with the man, and to this day, he has not touched alcohol again. He put his life back together, and he inspired me to do the same.

I can tell you … the minute that I offered my forgiveness, a weight was lifted on my shoulders that felt like ten tons.

📷

Credit: ThinkStock

I will miss my son and my wife until the day that I die. But I went on to marry again, a woman who stands beside me whenever I visit those graves. A woman who has delivered two daughters that did not replace my first child, but who have brought me endless joy, a joy so profound that it has helped ease my pain.

So, my advice for everyone who thinks that things can’t ever better, is to forgive. Forgive others, and forgive yourself. This is the only way to move on.”

To be wronged, especially as severely as Lorne experienced, forgiveness is the complete opposite of what we want to do. And that’s why the mere mention of the word can make us feel a bit antsy.

Because forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It’s something we have to choose to do, even though it’s usually the last thing what we want to do. It’s a conscious decision -- an act of love. Just as God chose to send his only Son to deliver forgiveness. And Jesus in turn chose to give His life to save all of us, despite our sins.

But God knows our heart, and understands that what He asks is a struggle for us. And so, forgiveness is also a choice that brings about wonderful blessings, as we see from Lorne’s story. When we forgive, we are honoring God’s commandment and opening the door for Him to do amazing things. If you are struggling with hurt and bitterness today, I pray you will find strength and comfort through Him, and that He will prepare your heart to forgive the one who has offended you.

(https://www.godvine.com/read/man-forgives-drunk-driver-who-killed-his-family-1015.html)

So we see that forgiveness is not limited in terms of quantity or quality, but secondly we see

Our forgiveness should always be done in light of how God has forgiven us.

This dad is crying out to stop drunk driving from EVER happening again. 

This is the heart of this parable. This is what Jesus is driving at when he tells this story. Look again at verses 26. 27

📷

Matthew 18:26–27 ESV

So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

,

So the man can’t pay his enormous debt, and so his creditor says, ok, no big deal, I will let you off the hook. It’s forgiven. But then, what does he do?

The New International Version Chapter 18

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

h/t: GodUpdates

So the man can’t pay his enormous debt, and so his creditor says, ok, no big deal, I will let you off the hook. It’s forgiven. But then, what does he do?

Matthew 18:28–30 ESV

But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

In case you’re wondering, Greek a hundred denarii; a denarius was the usual daily wage of a day laborer. This second man owed about a 100 days worth of work. Not 200,000 years. A 100 days. That’s basically April 10, if you work every day from January 1. A lot of money, I don’t have that much to loan you, but it sure isn’t 10,000 talents of gold.

The New International Version Chapter 18

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

This officer had to tell him his parents were killed by a drunk driver...but what he did next is BEAUTIFUL!

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In case you’re wondering, Greek a hundred denarii; a denarius was the usual daily wage of a day laborer. This second man owed about a 100 days worth of work. Not 200,000 years. A 100 days. That’s basically April 10, if you work every day from January 1. A lot of money, I don’t have that much to loan you, but it sure isn’t 10,000 talents of gold.

And he refuses to let this man off the hook. He refuses despite what just happened to him. How could a man do this? How could a man be so cruel and hard when He has been forgiven of a far greater debt?

This is the point. We refuse to forgive and we forget what Christ has done for us.

Colossians 2:13–15 ESV

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Paul writes these words, and then notice what he writes in chapter 3 of Colossians.

Colossians 3:12–14 ESV

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

If you follow the progression there, Paul is clearly showing us how God has forgiven us in Christ, and how, as a result, we are to forgive one another. We must never forget the price that Christ paid to forgive us our sins. Christ took our bill of debt, our sins, and nailed them to the cross and said, forgiven.

We’ve sung this song around here.

I'm the one who held the nail It was cold between my fingertips I've hidden in the garden I've denied You with my very lips

God, I fall down to my knees with a hammer in my hand You look at me, arms open

Forgiven! Forgiven!

We see the reality that forgiveness is often much more extensive than what we want it to be, the fact that we should forgive in light of what Christ has done for us, and

Our Refusal to forgive will affect our relationship with God.

Matthew 18:35 ESV

So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

This is so clear in the Bible, not just here, but other passages as well.

Psalm 66:18 ESV

If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.

Psalm

1 Peter 3:7 ESV

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

The point is, our relationship with God, vertically, is affected by our relationship with our fellow man, horizontally. That’s why the ten commandments deal with our relationship with God, and then our relationship with each other.

Or why the great commandments Jesus gives are what.

Matthew 22:37–40 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Conclusion

This is an appropriate sermon for this Sunday, communion Sunday. Because we come to the Table of the Lord and what do we see? We see forgiveness offered in the bread and the wine. A body broken for you. Blood poured out for you.

GodVine

TAGS: #heaven #death

The New International Version. (2011). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

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