Dads and their Children (Finding Nemo)
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Dad’s And Their Children - Finding Nemo
Keep your finger in both and Eph. 6.
& Ephesians 6
English Standard Version Chapter 3
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.
21 So that you also may know how I am and what I am doing, Tychicus the beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord will tell you everything. 22 I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage your hearts.
23 Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 24 Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Hook is the First Part of the Nemo Story
Hook is the First Part of the Nemo Story
-Dad and mom clown fish live in the ocean in the sea anemone
-After an attack by a barricuda
-They are left with a son (Nemo) who has a small disability, one of his fins is smaller than normal, lucky fin.
-Dad is overprotective - helicopter dad
-He always tells his son to never ever swim out in open water. Always stay on the reef. Always stay close.
-One day at school the little boy clownfish named Nemo is dared by a classmate to swim up (into the big open ocean) to a nearby boat and touch it. He wants to prove himself. He swims and touches the boat, but is netted by a scuba diver and taken away.
-The rest of the movie is about how Nemo was found and reconnected with his father.
-The whole movie is focused around the father child relationship.
Transition - Dad’s we have a very unique relationship with our children. Our relationship with our kids and grandchildren is very influential. Our children listen closely and watch our lives.
It is interesting that in the scripture that Dads are given more instruction on children then moms are. Maybe it’s because moms are natural caregivers. Which in many cases is true.
Maybe it’s because Dads have blindspots and because of our influence.
Grandparents and grand dads. Don’t disregard the influence you have on your family! ...
Today we look at the relationships first between Dad, Mom and Child - but will get to this unique Father Child relationship.
I. Children Obey Your Parents In Everything
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Col
Eph 6
English Standard Version Chapter 3
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
The command, “Children obeying your parents...” begs the question, Who are children?
Colossians
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Eph 6:1-2
The command, “Children obeying your parents...” begs the question, Who are these children?
Eph
The command, “Children obeying your parents...” begs the question, Who are children?
This begs the question who are children?
Children are anyone who’s parents are still paying bills for them. Dependent Children
The command, “Children obeying your parents...” begs the question, Who are children?
Children are anyone who’s parents are still paying bills for them.
This verse applies to you - If your parents are covering any one of these items your: car insurance, cell phone bill, food, gas, rent, school tuition - you are still under their authority of your parents.
The legal age of 18 only allows you 2 things:
-If your parents are covering any one of these items your: car insurance, cell phone bill, food, gas, rent, school tuition - you are still under their authority. The legal age of 18 only allows you 2 things:
a) the right to vote,
b) 20 years in jail if you kill someone while you drive.
The bible doesn’t give adulthood an age.
Adulthood is attained when you have taken on both the privileges and the responsibilities of an adult.
99% of the time that happens after some kind of school (college or tech school) and when you are out paying your bills.
Thee is a blessing in being a child.
Umbrella of protections of being under parents authority (Umbrella) BRING AN UMBRELLA THAT WORKS.
Blessing of training -
Discipling in the Bible, Love and know God
Practical skills how to live and have good relationships
Blessing of protection
-physical protection in a safe home.
-Spiritual protection from a wise leader in making a big mistake and messing up your life.
There is a blessing being under your parents authority and obeying them.
Illustration - Spiritual Darkness, (picture)
In our life there is spiritual darkness around us.
each parent, grandparent, family member holds a candle with you in the darkness.
This is a blessing
Children, God has placed parents in your lives to help you and to love you.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Parents will and do makes mistakes. There will be times you will have to forgive them.
The scripture tells us that it pleases God when you obey your parents. Obey them in what? tells us, “In everything.”
Let me share with you a very challenging truism. The degree to how well you are obeying your parents many times gives you an idea of how well you are following and obeying God. Why? Our hearts like to rebel. We like to have it our way.
It please the Lord when you obey your parents.
Transition - Paul changes the subject from children to parents or fathers.
Transition -
2. I must be sure to encourage my children and not provoke them.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
English Standard Version Chapter 6
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Address the word “Fathers”.
Paul uses the word Father in this passage because of the context and the culture at this time.
In the original language the word for parents is used. It is very fair to apply this verse to both mom and dad.
4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
C
Fathers do not:
Provoke (ESV), exasperate (NASV & Holman), Embitter (NIV), aggravate (NLT)
Be careful about taking unnecessary action that illicits a negative emotional response.
Illustration - Dancing at the 5th grade chorus at the PTA meeting.
When Karis my oldest child was in 5th grade her class chorus was singing at a PTA meeting. I was standing in the back.
We aggravate by teasing and playing too much.
We provoke by using our anger as power.
We provoke by joking or teasing to much .... or by using our anger as power.
We exasperate by having unrealistic expectations.
We embitter by giving funny cut downs and not regularly having encouraging words.
3. As a parent I must teach my children to obey.
Colossians 4:
Parents - Teach your children to obey
- Shows us that parents are responsible for the spiritual development of their family. Not the church and not the christians school, but the family.
4 that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Col
- Shows us that parents are responsible for the spiritual development of their family. Not the church and not the christians school, but the family.
Children don’t have to be taught how to disobey. They are born selfish.
Children don’t have to be taught how to disobey. They are born selfish.
How do I teach my children to obey?
A. -Be an example to them of obeying. Show them your obedience with your actions. Your actions will speak louder than anything you say.
- As much as you can, use the Bible as your authority to show them what is right.
-When you come to church, we teach out of the Bible. Please bring your Bibles, open it, show them it matters.
-Use the Bible to show you children what right and wrong is.
-If you get stuck. Ask your Sunday School teacher or a pastor like John or me.
-Use an internet search for a verse. Use the internet with wisdom - avoid false teaching.
-You can search for things like, What does the Bible say about:
forgiveness, purity with your eyes, (people pleasing) feeling like you have to make everyone happy.
-Go to church. Show your children that learning in a community of believers under a pastor who teaches God’s Word is important.
B. - Parents - Teach your children through both positive and negative reinforcement.
-Illustration, Andy our missionary told each of his orphan sons that if they memorized a specific chapter in the Bible word perfect he would take them to Delhi for a special dinner and to WWE wrestling. More did it than her expected.
Positive reinforcement is good.
Negative reinforcement is ok too.
Parents, It is ok to spank your children. (Not abuse them or beat them, but spank them.)
It is ok to spank your children. What we are looking for is discipline that works.
-How I spanked Karis. Told her what she did wrong. Told her the punishment. Told her I loved her. Prayed with her. Spanked her one the bottom.
We are looking for discipline that works
-Cherished toys in time out.
-A cell phone or car needs to be taken away
-Giving extra chores.
-Taking screen time.
Remember that the greatest Training you can give is to show your children how to love and follow Jesus.
Dad’s - Some encouragement for you. The sociological studies we find are that when you go to church and make spiritual life a priority in the home - it greatly effects your children’s long term spiritual health. Moms you effect your kids greatly as well. Dads your effect is very strong.
From Lifeway
According to data collected by Promise Keepers and Baptist Press, if a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only 1 child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If a father attends church irregularly, between half and two-thirds of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults.
Transition - Where is the Gospel in this passage? How does this passage remind us of Jesus?
Illustration -
-Slamming doors over and over, removing doors.
4.
-Children (those who don’t pay all of your bills):
Children (those who don’t pay all of your bills):
What your parents owe you:
Love,
Godly
What they don’t owe you:
In style clothes
Cell
4. How does this passage remind us of Jesus?
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.
31 but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us go from here.
Col 3:20
39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
Christ Jesus obeyed His Father perfectly, even to death on a cross.
The Father in heaven did not provoke/discourage His son (Jesus), but encouraged Him.
17 and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
We see not only that the scripture gives us instructions for parenting our children, but that the Father and His Son Jesus gave us the perfect example.
As we Close ------------ We close with these 3 questions:
Closing ------------
Have you had your sins forgiven by the obedience of Jesus the son obeying His Father on the Cross? If not will you trust Him and give Him all of your life today?
Children - Jesus obeyed His Father even when it was difficult. What difficult area is God calling you to obey in?
Parents - Your children deeply desire to hear of your love and approval. If you are pleased with them, would you tell them. Would you sit them down, look them in the eye and tell them that you love them - no matter what and our proud of them.
Also, If there is one area of parenting that you would like to grow in, what is it?
Closing Illustration
Illustrations
Charles Francis Adams, the 19th century political figure and diplomat, kept a diary. One day he entered: "Went fishing with my son today--a day wasted." His son, Brook Adams, also kept a diary, which is still in existence. On that same day, Brook Adams made this entry: "Went fishing with my father--the most wonderful day of my life!" The father thought he was wasting his time while fishing with his son, but his son saw it as an investment of time. The only way to tell the difference between wasting and investing is to know one's ultimate purpose in life and to judge accordingly.
Silas Shotwell, in Homemade, September, 1987.
One startling bit of research conducted by the Christian Business Men's Committee found the following: When the father is an active believer, there is about a seventy-five percent likelihood that the children will also become active believers. But if only the mother is a believer, this likelihood is dramatically reduced to fifteen percent.
Keith Meyering, Discipleship Journal, issue #49, p. 41.
According to data collected by Promise Keepers and Baptist Press, if a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only 1 child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If a father attends church irregularly, between half and two-thirds of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults.
English Standard Version Chapter 3
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
English Standard Version Chapter 3
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.