You Shall Not Commit Adultery

You Shall Not Commit Adultery. Exodus 20:14 You shall not commit adultery. Adultery = Cheating. Our culture is conflicted about this. On the one hand, it is universally reviled (if it is not you) but on the other hand, it is accepted as an almost necessary evil. Why? I think it is because we don't understand marriage/commitment and we have too low a view of sex. -Marriage: What is it? Genesis 2:22-25 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. -Two become one flesh, one person. Giving up independence: socially, economically, physically, spiritually. Giving ourselves over to someone else and them giving back. Giving, not taking. Serving, not using. -Laying aside our independence to create something new, to become something new. Not an add on to our self-life. -Naked and Unashamed: vulnerable. Accepting each other for who we are at all stages of who we are. We will change. -Sex: What is it? Two views: Sex is dirty. Too low a view: Scripture celebrates it and talks in graphic detail about it. Sex is an appetite. Also too low a view. Does not acknowledge its power and thus the damage it can do when used improperly. The physical sacrament of marriage. The physical expression of the reality of the covenant you made. The renewing of that covenant. Becoming physically naked and vulnerable to the other person accepting and being accepted, trusting. Showing in the physical what you have committed to do with your whole life. Do you see how low the two approaches view sex. On the one hand, the prudish side does not relish in its joy and power to bind a married couple together and perform an act of renewing your love and covenant to one another. On the other hand, the flippant view of sex lowers it to the level of an appetite, as a selfish pursuit for your own gratification, and stripping it of its beauty by asking someone to be naked and vulnerable with you physically, while not committing to be vulnerable with you in the rest of their life. -So, then what is adultery? Breaking that covenant and trust with your spouse. And further: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. (Mat 5:27-30) -What does this mean? -Not Sexual desire. Epithumia: desire, used for a strong desire whether good or bad. So, what is this? Desiring someone who is not yours in the reality of that covenant of holistic oneness. It is impersonal because you are using someone asking for them to give their body but not giving them everything else. -It isn’t just the physical act: it is an issue of our heart and our mind. -Pornography -Emotional Pornography Desiring Emotional and Sexual intimacy without a real person. Divorce: And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" He answered them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away." And Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mar 10:2-12) -Hardness of heart: The “clean”/respected way of doing the same thing. Of saying I am not willing to be one with you, I want the benefits but the rest is too hard. I will go to someone else and ask them to give me what I want without the commitment. -Why does God care about this? -We’ve said that the Ten Commandments are revealing God’s heart to us. (Eph 5:25-32) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. -Jesus is a husband. Jesus is a spouse. Jesus made himself vulnerable to be with us so that we could be together in complete wholeness. He gave up the ultimate independence by coming to earth and taking the form of a man. He was made naked and hung on a cross to show his love for us. -We have committed adultery on him. We have chosen to not give up our independence and chosen to use other things to try to get what we want without submitting ourselves to his love. -God was divorced. The LORD said to me in the days of King Josiah: "Have you seen what she did, that faithless one, Israel, how she went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and there played the whore? And I thought, 'After she has done all this she will return to me,' but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore. (Jer 3:6-8) God knows the pain of someone saying that they are committed to you, but instead choose to follow their whims and cheat on him. God is faithful. He desires a community who reflect His unending love and faithfulness to the world. He desires our marriages to be whole, healthy, and life-giving. A foretaste of what is coming when we fall in his arms at the end. When we commit adultery, we show our hearts: hearts that are unwilling to give up our independence, to love someone with our whole selves, to become one with them. If we won’t do that with our spouse, we won't do it with Jesus. -How does Adultery undermine our marriages? -Fantasy distorts reality and causes dissatisfaction -Betrayal destroys trust and love -Plants seeds of unworthiness/ugliness -Destroys the family -How does Adultery undermine god’s community the church and its mission? -Impersonalizes each other, things to use, not people to love -Sows distrust and discord -Tears apart the Family He is building -Hides his Faithfulness -Singleness - 1 Cor 6:12-20 "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything. "Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"--and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, "The two will become one flesh." But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1Co 6:12-20) Even with a prostitute (the most “casual” sex there is, you pay for it, no strings attached), one flesh -Fantasy -Covers over problems -Creates deeper heartbreak -Potential to cause complicated situations 1 Cor 7:7-8, 27-34 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (1Co 7:7-8) Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. (1Co 7:27-34) Marriage is a foreshadowing, practice, a taste of what’s coming. Paul says, eh. -It is just a taste. It is not the be all end all. It is not needed to be a full and complete person. -What do we do? -Confess to someone in the Church -Confess to your spouse -Repent -Of a wrong view of Sex -Not dirty -Not to be worshipped -Seek Help -Pursue your marriage in its wholeness -Vulnerability, Dependence, Oneness -Emotionally, Spiritually, Financially, Socially, Physically -Put in the work -Worship -The God who gave up his independence to be united with us. -Who became vulnerable to be intimate with us -Who has had his heart broken -Who has been cheated on -Who is Faithful -Who makes us one, both in marriage and in our church -Who makes all things new -Who can reconcile our broken marriages -Learn -Sermons by Timothy Keller, will post on Facebook and link in sermon description.