What Does It Take To Be a Godly Father?

I am convinced that one of the greatest needs in our society today is for fathers who will rise up and assume their God-given role of responsibility in the family. This verse from Micah gives basic responsibilities for manhood; but when a man becomes a father, those responsibilities are expanded.

This Father’s Day morning, I am going to speak to the father’s here with some very pointed specifics. Mothers and children, keep listening. You can help your husbands and dads in these specific areas. The Bible tells us that we are each responsible for our own actions when it states that each person shall die for their own sins. However, you can make it easier or more difficult by your responses, criticisms, support, or encouragement.

states: He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

If you want to be a godly father, you’ve got to pursue God and a godly way of life.

Let’s look at some of the requirements to be a godly father.

A Love for God

It has to begin here. If a father does not love God, how can he even understand love in any way, shape, or form? speaks to this: But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. It has to be the top priority in your life, fellow- Dad. If you are chasing after anything else and making that your number one priority, you are pursuing failure.

I am not a real fan of putting a top-down hierarchy on relationships; however, I feel that this needs to be shared so we can truly understand the importance of this. In your relationships, the priority scale should look like this:

God first; Your wife next; then Your children; finally Your job (as it applies to providing for your family). You can then move outside of the immediate realm to Your church family; extended family; Your friends.

I understand that once in a while, this may need to be adjusted just a bit from an observer’s perspective. However, even though your job may take some time away from the family, it must be temporary and only because the family is the true priority. And if doing things with your family is displacing your relationship with God as the number one priority, then make some adjustments, lest problems develop.

We understand that we can love God only if we have personally experienced His love for us when we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. If you have not done that, then there is really no way you can be the godly father that your family so desperately needs and wants. If you do not have a right relationship with God, it is futile to think you can relate properly to others. Once that is settled, then you can move on to some of the other requirements for being a godly dad.

A Love for His Wife

If we have a love for God, then it is possible to have a right love for our wife. Listen to : Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.

You see according to this passage in Ephesians, real love seeks to meet all the needs of another person.

If you want to know what love might look like, reread for a definition of real love. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

May I suggest something that is not spelled out specifically in the Bible? Please don’t hear this as if I’m promoting “chick-flicks.” Consider watching them with your beloved. Romantic flicks do not make you less of a man. A real man will do whatever he can to honor his wife and be as romantic as he can be, even if he’s grunting while doing it. What might that look like? Open the car door, pull out her chair at dinner, hold her hand, cuddle while watching TV, help make the beds, rinse out the tub when you’re finished, the list is endless. By the way, your wife might just let you watch some of those shows she doesn’t care for if you take time for her shows.

In addition, your sons are learning from you as to how to treat their wives. Your daughters are even learning from you as to how a husband is to be. They are longing to see a godly man who is pursuing God and living a godly life. This can be readily seen in our love for our wife.

A Love for His Children

There are some fathers who think that one way of showing love is making sure the family is well cared for and have their needs met. This is true to an extent. Love is more than provision for material things. This is important and Paul even states that if one doesn’t provide for their family’s needs, they are worse than an unbeliever. However, most children do not see this as real love. Children want you more than anything else.

Fathers, we also need to be reminded that when discipline is required, we must do it in love. tells us: Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. Here is an area that many fathers fail; I know that I have failed miserably many times. But when this happens, please be sure to confess this to them and seek their forgiveness. We need to be more affirming and not always be concerned about correcting.

Children usually interpret time spent with them as love. It’s amazing how just being there with them is seen as an incredibly powerful act of love. This isn’t rocket science. It doesn’t take great skills. You don’t even have to read a book by Dr. James Dobson. Just be with them. And please, forget the idea of “quality time” vs. “quantity time.” That seems to be something someone suggested to justify a lack of commitment to spending time with their children. The most common complaint among children about their fathers is that they wish he would spend “more” time with them.

A Love for Integrity

We desire for our children to always do what is right regardless of what others may be doing. Do we set the stage for that by how we do things?

The opening scripture from Micah used the phrases, “. . . to do justice . . . to walk humbly (uprightly in some translations). . .” “Integrity” has become almost a forgotten word. It has been redefined by some to mean that if you don’t get caught, then everything is good. I love the explanation of integrity that was given at a Promise Keepers rally: It is what you are when nobody is looking.

Fathers, we are called by God to rise above that and be men of integrity. This should permeate every area of our lives. In the workplace; an honest day’s work. In the home; we keep and fulfill our promises. In personal business; we pay our bills and obligations promptly. In other relationships; we have a commitment to fulfill our commitments. We are called to be men of integrity. We are to do what is right even if it’s to our own harm.

A Godly Role Model

There are so many people out there who are famous or rich that are serving as less than ideal models. We want to be a godly role model. The image of a father nowadays is not always a good one. The majority of the sitcoms, that even have a dad in them, show him to be a dimwit. Over half the children in America grow up without a father in the home. Often, children are abandoned by their father or the father is criticized. Sexual abuse by the father is on the rise. Sometimes, the father acts out in anger, causing hurt and anguish.

Then, we tell children that God is their Heavenly Father! Is it any wonder that they are afraid of God? God help us! Why do children not want anything to do with God? Why are young people leaving the church in droves all across this nation? Could it be that the fathers are not being the godly men they are called upon to be? Dad, you are shaping your child’s concept of his/her Heavenly Father. They see our heavenly Father as you.

Don’t we want to be like Paul when he stated that others imitate [him] even as he imitates Christ?

Reflections

Every father wants to be a hero to their child. Every dad wants to know that they are loved and appreciated by their child. Every dad loves it when their child thinks they’re the best dad in the world. If you want to be a godly father, you’ve got to pursue God and a godly way of life.

It starts out with you having a personal relationship with Christ and pursuing a relationship of love with your Heavenly Father.

Then you go on wooing and loving your wife while treating her as your girlfriend, lover, and confidante. Go ahead and be her knight in shining armor. That will help your children to visibly see what kind of man you are for God.

Then you continue to show love to your children. Yes, discipline them with the intent of growing and nurturing them; but do so in love. Spend time with them. Listen to what is important to them. When they are ridiculously silly, you need to laugh alongside them. When the world seems to be caving in on their lives and you think they’re being overly dramatic, listen to them and comfort them.

Then be a man who can be trusted. Be the type of person that can always be counted on.

Finally, it comes back to pursuing your relationship with God. You see, in order to be a role model of God, you’ve got to know Who He really is.

Finally, it comes back to pursuing your relationship with God. You see, in order to be a role model of God, you’ve got to know Who He really is. Spend time reading your Bible. Make prayer an important part of your family life. Be an excited participant in worshipping with other Christians at church. Show enthusiasm in your giving financially to the church. Be available to help others in need.

If you want to be a godly father, you’ve got to pursue God and a godly way of life.

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