Dads Worthy To Follow

Modern Television Dads

I don’t know what shows everyone here tends to view, but I think it is very clear that at some point in our viewing habits, we have watched a show that if a dad is even present in the family, he is considered nothing more than a buffoon and or family doofus.

“Honey, what area am I in charge of in this house?” said the dad in Good Luck Charlie, a Disney Channel show we watch with my kids. Bob’s words were addressed to his television wife Amy, after she had corrected him in front of their daughter about not having the right to ground her because of her deception. Mom belittled Dad (albeit in a humorous way) and made sure he knew who the real boss of the family was: the mother. Sitcoms play out this scenario on screens all across America at an increasingly alarming rate. Buffoonish, ignorant, self-centered, and inept television dads must be shown their proper places in the home. At best, television dads are nominal or figurehead leaders of the home, but at worst, they are relegated to the intellectual level of the family pet. Mcgee, David A., and Bryce F. Hantla. “The Portrayal of Fathers in Popular Media.” Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry: Intergenerational Faithfulness 3, no. 2 (2013): 36.

Sadly our cultural view of the importance of dads and enduring fathers is almost extinct, in fact many television shows are portraying the dad as “unnecessary”…what is even worse is the impact this has on the church.

In 2002, ABC conducted a poll that showed that a larger percentage of women attended church than men. Whether Catholic or Protestant, these percentages illustrated that churches were filled with a greater numbers of female congregants than male congregants. Approximately 44% of female Catholics attended, whereas only approximately 32% of active Catholic men attended. Within Protestant churches the numbers were only marginally higher at 50% to 42% active females to males, respectively.63 The Barna Group confirmed this finding in a 2007 study, stating the following: In a typical week, mothers are more likely than are fathers to attend church, pray, read the Bible, participate in a small group, attend Sunday school, and volunteer some of their time to help a non-profit organization. The only faith-related activity in which fathers are just as likely as mothers to engage is volunteering to help at a church.64 David A. Mcgee and Bryce F. Hantla, “The Portrayal of Fathers in Popular Media,” Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry: Intergenerational Faithfulness 3, no. 2 (2013): 43.

In 2002, ABC conducted a poll that showed that a larger percentage of women attended church than men. Whether Catholic or Protestant, these percentages illustrated that churches were filled with a greater numbers of female congregants than male congregants. Approximately 44% of female Catholics attended, whereas only approximately 32% of active Catholic men attended. Within Protestant churches the numbers were only marginally higher at 50% to 42% active females to males, respectively.63 The Barna Group confirmed this finding in a 2007 study, stating the following:

In a typical week, mothers are more likely than are fathers to attend church, pray, read the Bible, participate in a small group, attend Sunday school, and volunteer some of their time to help a non-profit organization. The only faith-related activity in which fathers are just as likely as mothers to engage is volunteering to help at a church.64

When it comes to the importance of men, especially dads, think with me about what Paul says to Timothy in

2 Timothy 2:2 NASB95

The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

The key to a healthy church lies in the teaching of faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

David A. Mcgee and Bryce F. Hantla, “The Portrayal of Fathers in Popular Media,” Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry: Intergenerational Faithfulness 3, no. 2 (2013): 43.

What do you do when faithful men are hard to find?

This includes dads as well as single men…in other words…

As the men of the church go, so goes the church.

But the problem is more and more dads either do not attend, drop off their kids, send them with mom or simply don’t lead their families to be with God’s people at all.

There is a shortage of epidemic proportions of godly men teaching Sunday School classes, godly coaches in recreational and scholastic athletics, as well as simply leading their homes spiritually.

In fact in many homes, the mom often takes up the burden of spiritual leadership, which God never intended.

Although the Bible discusses the importance of women serving in the local assembly, it addresses the leadership of men, the teaching, preaching, and exhortation of men to be positive examples in the home and in society much more frequently.

I want to be careful here…on Mother’s Day we tend to perfume up the messages for families to be thankful and considerate of mom on her special day, although that should be happening all the time...

Then on Father’s day…we tend to bring out the sledge hammers and pound dad’s into the ground...

I don’t want to do that here this morning…I think most dad’s here today realize they don’t always measure up…we know when we are not living to the standard of the “TV Dad of the 50’s and 60’s”…the bygone era where the dads were portrayed as the educated, wise, endearing, authority who always makes the best decisions and is the family hero...

In a culture where dad is viewed as unnecessary, the message of Christ is counter-cultural...I want us to find ways in which we can build dad up…to encourage him in that which he does right and well, instead of beating him to a pulp...

Dad's have a huge responsibility as fathers. One of the greatest responsibilities they possess is to be a model of Christ to their family.

With all the pressures of work, marriage, parenting, etc. being a godly dad who leads his family in righteousness in our time is extremely difficult...

and I know that on days like today that are dedicated to dad, some of you don’t have very fond memories of your dad and this day brings up all sorts of emotional pain and struggle…and the last thing you want to do is follow in his footsteps...

The truth is that no earthly father will ever be the perfect father who does everything right…but regardless of what your earthly father is like, your Heavenly Father loves you and desires for your life to be different…in multiple ways…in His ways!

For the child of God, our Heavenly Father wants us to live in such a way that it is clear we belong to Him…His desire for us is that we conduct our lives in a specific way that identifies us as spiritually healthy people.

If you’re the daughter of that kind of father, you

and in doing so it brings shame to those who speak against us...

with all that in mind…please turn to , as we seek to encourage all the men here this morning, lets build up dad today as we consider ...

Dads Worthy To Follow Display Strong Spiritual Health!

Dad’s Worthy To Follow Display Strong Spiritual Health!

To love and care for their children

Psalm 103:13 NASB95

Just as a father has compassion on his children, So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.

The dad worthy of following seeks to make his life a pattern for others to see and conclude there is someone who loves God, loves his family, and is headed in the right direction.

See also ; ; ;

What we see in this text is Paul’s instruction to Titus regarding one of the crucial aspects of his ministry to the congregation of Crete.

What we see in this text is Paul’s instruction to Titus regarding one of the crucial aspects of his ministry to the congregation of Crete.

The historical data we gain from is that Paul and Titus travelled together as missionaries and after visiting this island, Titus was left behind to pastor this gathering of believers...

He was to appoint elders in every city to help him shepherd these people…...and then he gives him the criteria to use in evaluating such men… … one of which was leading his family well…one of the spiritual goals every man in the church ought to aspire to achieve is to be considered for leadership in the church!

Whether it is as an elder or a deacon, every man ought to be developing the character needed for these God ordained positions...

We also learn that one of the problems Titus had to deal with on this island was the presence of false teachers……these teachers were creating such havoc among the believers that families were being destroyed because of their deceptive, unhealthy teaching and worthless lifestyles.

So Paul commands Titus to be different…But you…in contrast to what they are doing, “Titus you teach them that which is fitting for sound doctrine”

It is interesting to note that the word translated sound is a word meaning to be healthy…the English word hygiene is derived from this word...

This is a common notion in the pastoral epistles…so the implication is that all pastors would do well to instruct their congregations with the truth that produces spiritually healthy believers....

One of the problems churches face today is the existence of a lot of spiritually unhealthy believers…reason why is because there are many teachers of the Word who are not serving up spiritually healthy food!

Between what you see on TV or hear on the radio, you have to be carefully discerning what you hear, because if you don’t…it could lead to you being unhealthy spiritually.

Pastors, and all those who want to teach the Word of God must be careful to teach that which leads to greater spiritual health of God’s people.

Personally, I take this very seriously…I pray over the text each week that God teaches me how to be spiritually healthy so that I can teach you how to be spiritually healthy…so I must weigh everything that is said to make sure it leads to greater spiritual health to all of you…

However, you must do your part to take the Word of God and eat it, digest it and allow it to penetrate your mind and heart and soul so that your roots grow deeper and your heart grows stronger as you understand His Word more and more...

So in his instructions to Titus to teach that which leads to greater spiritual health, he identifies specific groups of people within the congregation and what they must be taught that leads to greater spiritual health...

Older men/younger men — there doesn’t seem to be a clear definitive delineation of age brackets, but Paul did refer to himself as old at the age of 60 ()…the consensus among most scholars is that the older men were those who had raised a family and their children were now raising their own families…

Older women/younger women — same is true of this...

Paul was not seeking to establish a biblical identification of age brackets…he was simply addressing Titus to teach specific things to specific groupings that already existed...

What is the point of Paul’s instruction to Titus?

Healthy teaching produces healthy Christians; and there are specific ways that healthy believers will conduct themselves.

it’s a present tense command which suggests continuity and persistence…Titus is to be constantly be speaking about these things which are fitting for sound doctrine – that’s the way you should be impacting one another…

For our purposes here this morning on Father’s Day we will focus on the specific instructions to the men...

Let’s look for 3 Marks of a spiritually healthy man of God that makes him worthy to follow, especially believing dads.

Even though we mention dads, this appeals to all men!

Spiritually Healthy Dads (Men) Display Maturity.

He Models Dignified Conduct

He Models Sound Speech

He Models Sacrificial Living

They are clear headed.

To discipline their children

temperate = sober, self-controlled, level-headed, showing restraint, unmixed with wine... exercise sound judgment in every area of life, (which you can’t do if you are drunk)… older men especially ought to be known for good decision making...

not just free from intoxication but a person who avoids extravagance and overindulgence in all areas of life.

They are worthy of respect.

They are worthy of respect.

it’s the Greek word semnos – honorable, dignified…their lives evoke respect and honor

this person has seen and experienced enough of the challenges of life to have an appropriate level of seriousness…they’ve shown themselves to be men who can handle life’s difficulties...

They are self-controlled.

sensible = be reasonable, be of sound mind, be self-controlled, to be prudent with a focus on self control

it is a combination of two words…one meaning “to save” the other meaning “the mind” — literally…to save the mind!

in charge of himself…subjects his body, mind and will to the higher order of godliness...

In looking at , you see that this is the only thing Paul tells Titus to encourage the younger men towards…why?

In looking at , you see that this is the only thing Paul tells Titus to encourage the younger men towards…why?

In looking at , you see that this is the only thing Paul tells Titus to encourage the younger men towards…why?

Because of their tendency to not be self-controlled…Titus is to continually exhort them to think before they act…to control the temper and the tongue…to control the ambitions and the appetites…to “save their mind” by not letting their desires and emotions take control...

Paul sums up the greatest need for the younger generation in the church is to learn self control that leads them to making good decisions.

“They control their physical passions and they reject worldly standards and resist worldly attractions.”

Spiritually Healthy Dads (Men) Display Godliness.

Spiritually Healthy Dads Display Godliness

They display sound faith.

Proverbs 13:24 NASB95

He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

that word was used in verse 1 as well...sound, healthy, vibrant…this is his personal relationship with God…healthy relationships with God are displayed in obedience to the Word...

this is an older man who still believes in trusting God...his years haven’t made him cynical or bitter...he’s weathered the storms of life well...he’s “sound in the faith…”

his years haven’t made him cynical or bitter...

to the younger man, this is the person who views and rules his life and mind through the lens of what he does ought to be impacted by his relationship with God…his relationship with God comes before his relationship with others…regardless of who the others are...

he’s weathered the storms of life well...he’s “sound in the faith…”

They display sound love.

agape love — willingly gives of himself to others…seeks the welfare of others even at personal loss...

sure other people have hurt him, and disappointed him...but he chooses to be loving to others anyway...his love is healthy, and vibrant, and strong...

but he chooses to be loving to others anyway...

his love is healthy, and vibrant, and strong...

They display sound endurance.

endurance = hupomeno = to bear up courageously under suffering...

he doesn’t cave in to apathy or human philosophies, or even follows his own petty desires…he doesn’t wander from the faith...

he keeps going, and serving, and striving even though he has seen his share of heartache and pain...

and here’s the point...when a church has men like that...who are working at developing that kind of consistent character...they are in a position to impact and model and lead their families, and in turn lead others in the church…those are men and dads worth following...

Spiritually Healthy Dads (Men) Strive to Be Examples.

750 Engaging Illustrations for Preachers, Teachers and Writers 183: Example

On September 19, 1997, a drivers-ed teacher from Durham, North Carolina, gave a lesson he would like to forget. According to the Associated Press, police said the teacher, age thirty-six, had one student driver at the wheel and another in the car when another car cut them off. At that the teacher apparently went into road rage. It is alleged that he ordered the student driver to pursue the other car. When the other car pulled over, the drivers-ed teacher got out of his car and punched the other driver in the face, giving him a bloody nose. The bloodied driver then pulled away.

Amazingly, that wasn’t enough for the angry teacher. He again ordered the student to pursue the other car. Eventually the police pulled over the drivers-ed car for speeding, and the motorist with the bloody nose circled back to report to the police what had happened.

The drivers-ed teacher was arrested and charged with simple assault, punishable by up to sixty days in jail. He was released on $400 bail. Later he was suspended from his job and then resigned.

When teachers are the problem, we really have a problem.

Dads you are to be like Titus in the sense that you are pastoring your children, you are to never stop shepherding them...

Paul tells Titus that he is to encourage the younger generation…to urge them, exhort them…to challenge them…to simply be self-controlled...

See also ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;

this impacts every aspect of daily living…the younger generation needs to know how to exercise sober judgment.

Dads you are to be like Titus in the sense that you are pastoring your children, you are shepherding them and sometimes you have to sense the urgency in your efforts...

While Paul instructed Titus to lead the way, all men should strive to be an example.

example = stamp made by a die, an impression…in other words the way you choose to live ought to leave a mark on them...

Your life is to be a pattern of...

Your life is to be a pattern of...

Good works

Outward, observable actions…demonstrate a practical life that is consistent with the truth of God’s Word…your behavior ought to match your belief!

Make sure everything you do points them to God…

Integrity of life

purity of motives as well as content…you don’t just teach them truth, you model truth...

Your teaching must be consistent with your practice…literally “incorruption”

Seriousness

Speaks to the manner in which the message is given…you must speak the truth in a manner that conveys the importance of the message…you want to speak the truth in love making sure they get it!

Speech that cannot be condemned

method as well as the effect…full of grace, full of truth, effective for producing spiritual health in others...

Speech that cannot be condemned

Ephesians 4:29 NASB95

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

By being the right example in these ways, we stay clear of detracting from Christ and we will put to shame those who speak evil against us.

To instruct their children

B. Examples of life impacted by truth

We can’t stop people from saying what they want to say…we can only live in accordance to that which communicates the power of God to change our life and in so doing, they will be ashamed because their lies are being exposed.

purity in doctrine…integrity of life that matches what you are teaching them…literally “incorruption”

Psalm 78:2–8 NASB95

I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, Which we have heard and known, And our fathers have told us. We will not conceal them from their children, But tell to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, And His strength and His wondrous works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments, And not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not prepare its heart And whose spirit was not faithful to God.

C. Examples of seriousness

What Does This Look Like Practically?

See also ; ; ; ; ; ; ;

D. Examples of healthy speech

The Responsibilities of the Family to Their Father.

What Does This Look Like Practically?

A man’s faithful attendance and participation in church makes a statement.

To be honoured by their children

1. informally

- it can look like just about anything...

What does your attendance and participation in church communicate to your spouse, to your children, to your friends...

A man’s faithful attendance and participation in church makes a statement...the way he carries himself...

- a man’s faithful attendance and participation in church makes a statement...

- the way he carries himself...

...the way he carries himself...what he does and doesn’t do...what he says and doesn’t say...all of that, consciously or not, makes a statement...your life is always teaching others something…

what he does and doesn’t do...what he says and doesn’t say...all of that, consciously or not, makes a statement...your life is always teaching others something…

The way you treat your wife is communicating a message to your children.

- the way you treat your wife is communicating a message to your children...

what you value and prize...how you spend your time and your resources...

talking about strong families and homes where the dad recognizes his critical responsibilities with his children and grandchildren...

When you volunteer to be around our kids you communicate your desire to have an impact for Christ.

3. at church

- when you participate in a discussion in your ABF, you’re mentoring...

- when you get involved in a point man group and discuss principles of Scripture around a table...you’re mentoring...

we have immediate openings in our SS classes, children’s church can also use you, Sunday evening CIA or Teen Impact…your presence in those areas can provide the example many of our kids need!

- when you’re going fishing but you call up the son of one of our single moms, you’re mentoring...

- when you volunteer to be around our kids by serving in our of our SS classes, or WNKoF, or one of our youth programs, down at the HH...maybe even just by listening to Bible verses, or helping out with some aspect of the program...you’re mentoring...

the church can become more healthy through your efforts to strengthen the ministry...

- the church is strengthened because your character is being multiplied...

Dads (and men) worth following strengthen the condition of this community of believers when they seek to be examples of healthy men of God.

Exodus 20:12 NASB95

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Let’s encourage our men in their godliness, none of us will ever be perfect this side of heaven…take the time to thank the men in your life who are living out their faith, pray for them, pray for those who are not living out their faith...

Segue to baptism...

See also ; ; ; ;

To be obeyed by their children

Colossians 3:20 NASB95

Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

See also ; ; ; ;

To be heeded by their children

Proverbs 23:22 NASB95

Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.

See also ; ; ;

The joy of fathers

Proverbs 23:24 NASB95

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who sires a wise son will be glad in him.

See also ; ; ; ;

The sorrow of fathers

Proverbs 17:21 NASB95

He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.

See also ; ;

; ; ; ; ; ;

Children’s responsibility to honour their parents

“Honour” implies respect, obedience and care for the parents’ needs.

See also ; ;

Penalties for disobeying parents

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The ministry of Jesus Christ may produce conflict within families

Luke 12:53 NASB95

“They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

Following Jesus Christ involves a commitment to him even deeper than love of one’s parents

Matthew 10:37 NASB95

“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.

See also