A Father Lights His Kids' World

A few months ago, Kimberly and I were at a conference down in Texas. We had rented a car and were driving it for several days. The whole time I was irritated by the brightness of the display on the navigation - it was almost blinding inside. In addition, I struggled at times to see country roads at night when we were taking turns -

The last night we were there, I was pulled over by a policeman, I had no idea why - he told me my headlight were out. The car did not have auto lights turned into position, like both my vehicles, and I had been driving without headlights the whole time.

I realized then why my sight was so fuzzy - why I had a hard time seeing where I was going...

I needed those lights to be on - what a different my last 20 minutes of driving at night had before returning the car the next day in daylight!

Dads - in many ways you are that guiding light for your children. Your example and influence in your child’s life has great significance. There are many a child, teen, young adult who has enjoyed the powerful influence of their Mom, but still struggled due to the absence of a Dad. They could get around, but sometimes not as easily as those who had the light shining on their path more brightly for them, just as I could get around, but it was easier when the light was brighter!

Society can underplay the influence of fathers, and many brow beat on dead beat dads - but the Father - especially the Godly father who influences and becomes a shining and guiding light for their kids is someone to be remembered and thanked!

For those kids and teens here who have that in your lives, don’t take it for granted - you have a blessing as God intended, that many do not have. Be appreciative.

According to data collected by Promise Keepers and Baptist Press, if a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only 1 child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If a father attends church irregularly, between half and two-thirds of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults.

If a mother does not go to church, but a father does, a minimum of two-thirds of their children will end up attending church. In contrast, if a father does not go to church, but the mother does, on average two-thirds of their children will not attend church.

another study, focused the following impact on Fathers who went to Sunday School - and I believe it translates to Dads who go to church...

When both parents attend Bible study in addition to the Sunday service, 72% of their children attend Sunday school when grown.When only the father attends Sunday school, 55% of the children attend when grown.When only the mother attends Sunday school, 15% of the children attend when grown.When neither parent attends Sunday school, only 6% of the children attend when grown.

Another survey found that if a child is the first person in a household to become a Christian, there is a 3.5% probability everyone else in the household will follow. If the mother is the first to become a Christian, there is a 17% probability everyone else in the household will follow. However, when the father is first, there is a 93% probability everyone else in the household will follow.

Here’s the point of all these statistics: Dad’s impact on the kids’ faith and practice is HUGE.

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Dad’s - your spiritual life has a significant impact on your children!!!

This morning I want to look at three areas that God’s Word speaks to us in raising those kids - and even continuing to lead by example as adults.

My Dad lit a path for my life!

1. Train Up A Child

Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 NLT

6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Be the light!!!

According to data collected by Promise Keepers and Baptist Press, if a father does not go to church, even if his wife does, only 1 child in 50 will become a regular worshiper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of what the mother does, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will attend church as adults. If a father attends church irregularly, between half and two-thirds of their kids will attend church with some regularity as adults.

If a mother does not go to church, but a father does, a minimum of two-thirds of their children will end up attending church. In contrast, if a father does not go to church, but the mother does, on average two-thirds of their children will not attend church.

another study, focused the following impact on Fathers who went to Sunday School - and I believe it translates to Dads who go to church...

When both parents attend Bible study in addition to the Sunday service, 72% of their children attend Sunday school when grown.When only the father attends Sunday school, 55% of the children attend when grown.When only the mother attends Sunday school, 15% of the children attend when grown.When neither parent attends Sunday school, only 6% of the children attend when grown.

Another survey found that if a child is the first person in a household to become a Christian, there is a 3.5% probability everyone else in the household will follow. If the mother is the first to become a Christian, there is a 17% probability everyone else in the household will follow. However, when the father is first, there is a 93% probability everyone else in the household will follow.

Here’s the point of all these statistics: Dad’s impact on the kids’ faith and practice is HUGE.

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Dad’s - your spiritual life has a significant impact on your children!!!

This morning I want to look at three areas that God’s Word speaks to us in raising those kids - and even continuing to lead by example as adults.

I want to preface this by saying that I grew up in a home where my Dad not only went to church, but actively served in the church — He led the entire church music program for a church of 300 — all the worship leading, choir directing, scheduling of special music, choir tours, playing piano on Wed nights - he was also a Deacon, board member, Elder, and I saw him praying and praying for others at the altars on a regular basis. He went to church Sunday School, Sunday AM, Sunday Evening and most Wed nights if he was not working. He assisted in Royal Rangers, he cooked all the big meals and special events for the church. This was all volunteer. He did it over a 40 year period, much of it all at the same time. He was my example - He is why I am in the ministry and serving Jesus. He taught me the importance, not of church attendance and involvement, but serving Jesus, loving Jesus and loving Jesus’ people. In addition to this, he helped people out, fixed things for them, cooked for them, counseled with them. He would pick up what we might consider homeless people and give them rides (even after they urinated on the front seat of the car)… I saw my Dad read the Bible, pray and serve, and tithe, etc.

My Dad lit a path for my life! His life was an example to me not just in words, but in action.

Your life, your actions are training your child regardless if you are aware of that. They see what you do, and will follow!!! Often to a lesser degree!

What you teach them is important in life, they will believe and exemplify - and we teach more with our actions than our words!

There is nothing more powerful than training in action.

You can set a person in front of a video and say watch this and learn, but when you engage someone in doing something and they get hands on beside someone who can guide, instruct, correct, and SAVE if in trouble - they will learn so much more!!!

Hands on training!

Our children need HANDS ON TRAINING IN SERVING JESUS!!!!

Abraham taught Isaac by example how to trust in God - their excursion up the mountain when God called him to sacrifice his only son - they set out with everything needed except the sacrifice - which Abraham knew to be Isaac, he then built an altar and laid his son upon it … letting go of all his dreams to trust in God - and the Lord provided!

2. Teach Your Children the Word

Some might think this is the same as training, but it is different. Training demonstrates how to LIVE OUT the Word and our Faith, TEACHING is instructing them in the WORD specifically.

Dad - it is not enough for your kids to get the Word at church! God has called you to teach them the WORD and show it in practical application in every area of life.

Deuteronomy 18:11–22 NLT

11 or cast spells, or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord. It is because the other nations have done these detestable things that the Lord your God will drive them out ahead of you. 13 But you must be blameless before the Lord your God. 14 The nations you are about to displace consult sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but the Lord your God forbids you to do such things.” 15 Moses continued, “The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your fellow Israelites. You must listen to him. 16 For this is what you yourselves requested of the Lord your God when you were assembled at Mount Sinai. You said, ‘Don’t let us hear the voice of the Lord our God anymore or see this blazing fire, for we will die.’ 17 “Then the Lord said to me, ‘What they have said is right. 18 I will raise up a prophet like you from among their fellow Israelites. I will put my words in his mouth, and he will tell the people everything I command him. 19 I will personally deal with anyone who will not listen to the messages the prophet proclaims on my behalf. 20 But any prophet who falsely claims to speak in my name or who speaks in the name of another god must die.’ 21 “But you may wonder, ‘How will we know whether or not a prophecy is from the Lord?’ 22 If the prophet speaks in the Lord’s name but his prediction does not happen or come true, you will know that the Lord did not give that message. That prophet has spoken without my authority and need not be feared.

Deuteronomy 11:18–22 NLT

18 “So commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these words of mine. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 19 Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 20 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, 21 so that as long as the sky remains above the earth, you and your children may flourish in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors. 22 “Be careful to obey all these commands I am giving you. Show love to the Lord your God by walking in his ways and holding tightly to him.

God is talking about the law and instruction He gave to the children of Israel, which is still the basis for what Christ fulfilled.

God’s Word is something to pass on to our kids! We can light their way in life - help them to see clearly the choices that are right to make when we teach them His Word.

DADS - YOU CANNOT TEACH WHAT YOU DON’T READ YOURSELF!

We need to know the WORD and show our kids in every situation of life, how it applies!!! Talk about it, bring reference and opportunity to share — when you see wrong examples, use them as teaching times --- when others hurt, or negative circumstances occur -use God’s Word to teach how we respond and make right choices.

God’s Word helps overcome sin, comfort in tragedy, aid in decision making...

Without that WORD we are driving in the dark with our lights off!!! Light the path for your family.

Not angrily, or judgmentally, but in the natural course and flow of life is what these verses call us to do!

ANYWHERE

ANYTIME

ANY CIRUCMSTANCE

Teach the WORD to your kids.

We need to stop leaving this part up to the Moms of the world, and take our place as SPIRITUAL LEADERS of our homes - and as our children see us living out the WORD we teach - it will be the greatest learning lessons they can ever experience. Help the WORD to come ALIVE in your life and theirs!!!

3. Don’t Provoke Your Child to Wrath

I have heard kids say this to their parents - but kids - this is not about an excuse to rebel - for rebellion will be on your head...

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

OK, Dads - some ground rules when instructing and disciplining our kids...

Do not discipline without love!

Disciplining in anger is not discipline - it is reaction! When you discipline your child, that child still needs to know they are loved - not by saying this hurts me more than it does you.

If you withhold love in your anger and beat your kid - you are not following God’s instruction.

I am not saying there are not seasons or times to not spare the rod - but how you do that can border on abuse if there is not restraint and love applied. If anger has control and reaction is in charge!

Verbal lashings can be just as damaging. Correction stings - but it should not damage!

2. Do not be critical and demanding!

A critical spirit toward a child is demeaning and tears apart esteem and confidence.

Yes, a prideful child that is stubborn needs correction, but when we criticize the soul of a person, or if we are constantly nitpicking at a child or calling them names or calling out character flaws and accentuating them - we are damaging our children’s mental health and well being.

Colossians 3:21 NLT

21 Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

We can also be demanding of our kids to fulfill our own personal dreams and desires and when they do not desire those same goals and dreams, or do not measure up to our expectation (in sports, academics, and even some of life choices) we need to release them to be who God has called them to be (that is not excusing or permitting sin).

If sinful choices are involved - don’t be judge and jury, but be teacher, trainer, helper, to overcome and be supportive not destructive.

3. Do not use conditional love and withhold forgiveness

Let’s face it - kids can hurt us! Their words, actions, choices, rejection and rebellion!

We are the parent!

When we withhold love from our child - young or grown - because we are upset with them - we are not showing the love of Christ

Remember the story of the Prodigal son - he wasted all of the grace, all of the blessing and totally rejected and rebelled against His father, and yet His father received him with open arms.

Our kids need to know our approval of choices and actions might be withheld - but our approval of them is not.

We may dislike the sin - but we still love the person! After all Jesus loved us enough to die for us!

Forgiveness needs to not just be waiting but given and awaiting their willingness to receive it!

In doing these things we not only cease to aggravate or provoke, but we light their path to see through their mistakes and failures.

CONCLUSION

SO Dads - we have an opportunity to help light the road in a dark world for our kids.

They need our assistance - even when they are adults and act like they don’t need it!

Train them - assist them to serve, give, love, worship - show them how to live like a GODLY MAN or WOMAN - by your example in their lives.

Teach them the WORD - may it come forth out of your mouth in all circumstances of life so they know what it means and how it applies to life’s various circumstances.

Don’t PROVOKE them through harshness, criticism that is not constructive, being demanding of your goals without caring about theirs, or by withholding love and forgiveness. May your discipline be balanced, controlled and purposeful with love coming forth.

LIGHT THEIR PATHS to clearly see where they are going and how to avoid the dangers and ditches along the way!