God's Man First!

Men want to be great. Healthy males want to be great. Often, if when cannot find what we deem as greatness for ourselves what we will do is try to live through some other men’s greatness, or we we try to emulate who we perceive as great, or we will despise or even destroy other men who we think are great.

What is also sad is that men are told on a regular basis that it is wrong for them to aspire to greatness. Men are being told everywhere they go that it is wrong for them to be great. Men are being told that the answer for them is to be docile, weak, and spineless.

Yes, it is true that Jesus says blessed are the meek. Meekness isn’t weakness. Meekness doesn’t mean you are a pushover, but meekness means you are great. Jesus says that the greatest among will be a servant. It is important for us to realize that we are a servant to God. A man who is Christ’s man, is a servant of God. We love, we are kind, everything we do is because God told us to do it.

Some people think that being a servant means that you are a servant of people first and foremost. If we serve people we do it because God told us to do it. We are servants to God, not humans. This distinction is important because failure to realize this and make this distinction makes you a people pleaser. You will be like the O’Jays, and say “Got to give the people, give the people want they want.” But ultimately, we have got to do what God wants.

This is distinction is causing a lack of male leadership. We have a lack of male leadership all over the place but one of the two most important places is the house and the church. We have homes where men’s voices aren’t heard, aren’t respected, aren’t appreciated, and men accept this framework, but God calls for men to lead and do it effectively. In the church, the problem is men just don’t show up and because these two things lack our society is dying. God created male and female for a reason. One shouldn’t overtake and overpower the other, but they both must work together. The problem we have is that for a myriad of reasons men are MIA. It reminds me of what God said in the garden, “Adam, where are you?”

Today, I want to look at fatherhood and manhood. Let me say that a few weeks ago we had the brothers come up front and all share testimonies about their wives and wonderful mothers. We know that mothers can raise sons, some of the men who came up said that they were raised by single women. So, we know that single women can raise men, but is it ideal? Secondly, it takes a special kind of woman, a strong woman, and woman who sacrifices much of herself in ways that many will never understand to raise a boy to be a man by herself. So, I just want to say that today by no means do I bash mothers, single mothers, but I want to uplift and encourage men and fathers. We celebrated mothers day, we do it real big for mother’s day, so let us a have a moment with the brothers.

I really believe that father’s matter. I have met too many who carry around hurt and bitterness because of a bad relationship or the lack of a relationship with their father. There are people mad at our Father in Heaven because when they hear the word “father” they don’t think of embrace and care but abandonment and neglect because of what their earthly father’s did. I remember what it was like looking up to my dad while he shaved, while he tied his tie, and I remember wanting to be like him. I remember trying to wear his shoes when he was not looking. I said to myself, I want to be like him. I know what it was like when I became a teen and my voice got deeper, my muscles grew a little, and I was raging with hormones, and I started trying to hang out with the tough guys, and my dad pulled me to the side after a particular event and told me if you keep hanging with these guys, you are going to end up dead or in prison. Spend time with people who are going where you want to go. When I grew up even when I became stronger than my dad (don’t tell him that), still I don’t want to disappoint him.

So, father’s matter. Today I want to look at a father in the Bible and explore both fatherhood and manhood.

Let’s turn to NRSV.

The New Revised Standard Version The Parable of the Prodigal and His Brother

11 Then Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. 14 When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. 16 He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. 17 But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.” ’ 20 So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21 Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27 He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28 Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31 Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’ ”

11 Then Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. 14 When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. 16 He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. 17 But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.” ’ 20 So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. 21 Then the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27 He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28 Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31 Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’ ”

25 “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27 He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28 Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31 Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’ ” NRSV.

The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1989), .

He Was Great Because He Was Stable.

This story is mistitled. It should be called the stable father. It is really about the father not the son. The story opens and closes with the actions of the father.

Why was this father so great?

He was a stable father. We must be stable. A lot of times when we talk about stability we only think about financial stability. It is important but there are some other things that are important.

Wisdom.

IQ cannot be changed.

Emotional intelligence can be improved.

Wisdom comes to those who seek it.

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. .

Some lack so much wisdom that it makes them indecisive and to the point where they cannot make any decisions in their relationship.

The New Revised Standard Version Faith and Wisdom

5 If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

The New Revised Standard Version Faith and Wisdom

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

The New Revised Standard Version Faith and Wisdom

5 If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

Some lack so much wisdom that it makes them indecisive and to the point where they cannot make any decisions in their relationship.

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

Some lack so much wisdom that it makes them indecisive and to the point where they cannot make any decisions in their relationship.

Where you want to eat? Wherever you want to go.

God wants to give us wisdom. We need because as leaders people will come to use seeking wisdom. God will use as instruments of God’s wisdom.

Some lack so much wisdom that it makes them indecisive and to the point where they cannot make any decisions in their relationship.

Where you want to eat? Wherever you want to go.

Where you want to do? Whatever you want to do.

Where you want to be? Wherever you want to be.

Courage

Courage means that you have your back upright and you moving with the confidence of the God that you serve.

But when you aren’t a God’s man, you will be afraid of your wife, your children, and if you are afraid of her and them you cannot lead in the home, let alone in the community. Lots of men are afraid of their wives. They lack courage in the relationship. The stable father in this story could have said, “No son, please, please, don’t go.” He could have let the boy stay in his house and rule his home like it was own but he didn’t say that. He had the courage to let him go. I don’t know where the Prodigal Son’s mother was in the story, she could have been saying, no not my baby, don’t let him go, beg him to stay, but if that was the case the stable dad had to let her know, that his house will be their house and not their rebellious sons, he must go.

Some severely, lack in courage.

Some cannot even say where they want to eat.

Where you want to eat, wherever you want to.

Where you want to go, wherever you want to go.

What you want to do, whatever you want do.

Then we go, and we are unhappy the whole time because we lacked the courage to say what we really wanted to do.

How are we going to lead the troops if we are afraid of the troops?

Raised his children.

A lot of people wrongly think that raising children is women’s work. Turn to .

And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. .

That’s why I am not ashamed to push a stroller. I’m not ashamed. God told fathers to bring the children up to raise the children as well. I don’t like when people say to fathers that we are babysitting our own children. How can I babysit my own child, but if we read the scriptures we see that men too are called to raise children, it is not women’s work. It is parent’s work.

English Standard Version Chapter 6

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

He Was Great Because He was Patient.

Most of the trouble men get into is because we don’t want to wait on God.

We want it now.

We don’t want to wait for her, we want her now.

We need the money now.

We need our prestige now.

Now!

Oftentimes men have pressure on them to behave carnally, or to get money lots of it even at the cost of poor ethics, or to get prestige lots of it even through nefarious ways, but we must have the courage to tell whoever is pushing us to not wait, that we are on God’s clock not our own. We will be patient.

The stable father in this story is amazing because he is also a patient father. He patiently waits for his son to return. A brother like me would be ready to go down to far country find the citizen, say some polite things to him, and get my son out of his grips. But, no, the father was patient, his son was grown, and he had to let him go through the process.

Sometimes us brothers are exhausted and stressed because we do not want to let God be God, because we aren’t willing to wait.

Isaiah 40:31

The New Revised Standard Version God’s People Are Comforted

but those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength,

they shall mount up with wings like eagles,

they shall run and not be weary,

they shall walk and not faint.

Waiting on the Lord gives us strength.

It makes us eagles, not chickens.

An eagle is a leader. A chicken isn’t. A chicken is aimless. Eagles have goals, ambitions, and they aren’t afraid to go at it alone if that is what is required.

Waiting on the Lord gives us endurance.

Endurance to fight the good fight of faith.

Waiting on the Lord is how we avoid fainting.

Too many men faint.

Faint from our responsibilities. We say being a father is hard, I’m out. Being a husband is hard, I’m going to check out.

Faint from God, being a man of God is too tough. I quit.

Faint from our own goals. I didn’t know it would be so hard to meet this goals, I quit. I accept mediocrity.

So, the stable father was great because he also was patient.

He Was Great Because He Forgave.

There are too many men whose potential is stunted because they are carrying around this bitterness. They are mad at their children, mad at their spouse, mad at their job, mad at their mothers, mad at their fathers, mad at their church, just mad. This bitterness corrodes our hearts, it damages us greatly. Then we become only a glimpse of who we could be.

I believe that to be a father requires the kind of forgiveness of this father in the story. His son wished he was dead. Manhood requires that I constantly forgive.

Being a man is tough because other men, even women, will try to test you all the time. God gives us the strength for these test, but sometimes we want to get revenge or crush these people, but must forgive.

Being a father and a man means we must set boundaries. We must defend those boundaries. Those fences we put up those boundaries we set are so that we can protect those who God has given us to care over and watch over. God does the same thing. God sets up boundaries for us, in fact the boundaries that we set as men are only the boundaries that God has told us to set. Those in our care, like our children, will get mad about those boundaries and curse us, like the prodigal son did to his stable dad. Even through that we must forgive.

Being a man is tough because it seems that the world is telling us that strong men are no longer needed or wanted. But, strong men are definitely needed. Every time a gun goes off in Baltimore in kills someone it is because some man somewhere has failed, and I’m not talking about the man behind the trigger. I mean the boys father, the boys older brothers, the boys teacher, the boys preacher, even, some man has failed, every time. The world still needs strong men.

The Bible talks about being a father to the fatherless in , we need some strong men who are courageous enough to pull a young man to the side and say, “Shorty, I know that you are mad, I know that you are ready to make a big mistake, but trust me don’t throw your life away, and don’t take his, one day you will regret it.” Or, “Listen young man, I know you see all these young girls out here but hardly nothing is worst then getting the wrong, take your time, wait on the Lord.”

, God [and God’s people] are a father to the fatherless.

Illustration: I want to share a story about a forgiveness. It is a true story. There was a father whose son, a good kid, college bound was murdered by another young man. The young man who murdered him was sentenced to a lengthy sentence in prison. Years later on one faithful day he writes a letter to the father of the other young man who he murdered and request a visit. There in the visit he is in tears, and he begs for forgiveness. The father of the young man who was murdered said, I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago because I am a person of faith and God tells me to forgive, I couldn’t honor my son through hating you. But, he said, I need to ask you for something to, he said what, anything? He said, I need you to forgive me. The imprisoned man was puzzled and he said why do I need to forgive you, what did you do to me? The grieved father said, it wasn’t what I did to you, but what I didn’t do for you. He said I want to apologize to you on behalf of all the men like me, who did do anything to mentor, train, or help young men like you without fathers or any kind of mentorship, I apologize to you. Then the grieved father begin to tell him about all he had done to mentor young boys and develop relationships to help to keep other young boys from making tragic mistakes one day and killing other men’s sons.

Conclusion

See men we have a divine appointment by God to protect the boundaries. We cannot do that if we are sleeping on watch. We cannot do that if we live our post. From the house to the church house we must stand upright.

Someone might be listening to this sermon and saying I could do these things if I only had a better woman. You know that is the same thing Adam said. Adam said, “God I cannot do what you’ve asked me before of that woman you gave me.”

That woman makes me drink. She makes me watch pornography. She makes not want to go to church. It’s all her fault Lord.

This is not a reasonable excuse.

We must be godly men no matter what. The limits of our dedication to God cannot be our spouse, or our children. No one can get in the way of our dedication to God.

People might not like it, but one thing that is guaranteed is that they will learn to respect it and even one day admire it.

The world needs godly men who are willing to stand upright and say I am guided by God.

Standing upright, who say I am going to be God’s man no matter who tries to stop me.

I will be God’s man first, before I am anyone else’s man I am God’s man.

I am upright and progressing

I am God’s man before I am:

My jobs man.

My parent’s man.

My friend’s man.

My wife’s man.

My

My children’s man.

You will not get me to deviant, to depart, to neglect, the will of God for me as a man.

I am upright and progressing.

If you are a brother here that is upright and progressing or you are ready to be upright and progressing in the Lord, please stand. Please stand up and let’s pray. Come up here if you can. Come on up. Let’s pray.

Thank you brothers. Now we have this study coming in July. It is for the brothers who are ready to man up, in every way. It is time, we get real with each other. It is time that we keep it real, and deal with it, and heal from what has hurt us.

God's Man First!

God’s Man First!