Biblical Manhood

Introduction

Fathers are important. Our world might try and tell us a different story, but the Bible is clear that there are responsibilities for both men and women in a family unit. We talked about what a Biblical Woman looks like from on Mother’s Day a couple of weeks ago and today we will be jumping around a little bit to get an idea of what Scripture says that Biblical Manhood looks like.

Typically, as we have done with the Great Commission, and recently with the book of Ephesians, we go through our messages “Expositionally” or verse by verse, in order to look for the main idea and key themes in Scripture and dwell on them. Today we will be doing a different type of message: a Topical message, in order to jump around to various passages of Scripture as we try and see what Scripture has to say about Manhood. Because of this, we don’t have a “main text” of Scripture - but we do have an outline that we are going to follow. We see in Scripture that a real man loves Jesus, his wife, his kids and discipline. The world might tell us that a man is replaceable and no longer needed in the family unit, however Psychology Today had this to say about the importance of a Father, “Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.”

Father’s are important and today we thank them for their influence in our lives. The thing that I want to stress before we dive into Scripture, though, is that even if you are not a Father, even if you aren’t married or even if you didn’t have a Godly father growing up, this message is for you.

This message is not just for men. Children need to hear it because boys need to aspire to be this kind of man and girls need to learn what to look for in a man. Single women need this message because they need to know the kind of man they should want to marry. Wives need this message because this is who they need to pray for and help their men to become. And yes, husbands and fathers need this message because they need to know what to be and what to model for their girls (how godly men treat women) and for their boys (how they should treat women).

We know that there are consequences for not being a real man. Not that a man has to be a smelly, hairy, outdoorsy individual, but there are consequences whenever a man does not love Jesus, his family and discipline. If we do not model this type of man as a church then there are consequences. Marriages can be lost. Families can be broken. Careers and reputations can be destroyed. There is joy in Biblical manhood because God had planned this from the foundations of the world that this would be how the family unit would function. Let’s see what Scripture has to say about being a Biblical Man.

A Biblical Man loves Jesus Christ

Whenever our lives are over, we are not going to care about our career choice, the town that we lived in, the places that we vacationed to or the amount of money that we accumulated. What will matter in the end is if we had a relationship with Jesus Christ! A Biblical Man understands this and he loves Jesus Christ and puts Him first in his life. Now this is not a homosexual type of love and it can be difficult for us to understand the idea of loving Jesus because we often treat Him like a man. The fact of the matter is that He is so much more than that! There is a sort of sentimentality that can be associated with the church in the eyes of many non-churchgoing people that the church is a place for women and children but it is not suited for men. Others think that the church has become feminized or that there is not a place at a church for a man, much less one that did not grow up in the church. On the converse, as a church, as must illustrate to those around us that Jesus Christ was a real person, a man, who laid down His life for others. We must love Jesus Christ!

It cannot stop with just loving Jesus Christ, though! We must rediscover what it means to forge meaningful relationships with other men. Growing up, I had a couple of friends that I would hang out with and do just about everything with. I genuinely loved these guys and I still do to this day. What can happen, though, is that as we get older, it can be more difficult to make these types of relationships, can it not? It can be difficult for males to bond close with other males. Yet, this is exactly what we are called to do by Christ. We are called to make disciple-making-disciples. This requires intentionality! tells us

Proverbs 13:13 NASB95

13 The one who despises the word will be in debt to it, But the one who fears the commandment will be rewarded.

Do you revere or fear the Word of God? Do you read it outside of Church? Do you study it? We should love the Word of God and study it so that we can share it with others! If we are going to be a people who say that we love Jesus Christ, we must know the Bible. We must study it and we should read it. A Biblical Man loves Jesus and His Word. tells us

Proverbs 28:13 NASB95

13 He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.

We are called to be a people who confess our sins, repent of them and trust in Christ. Jesus’ life embodied true masculinity. There are so many different characteristics that we could talk about when it comes to Jesus Christ and being a Biblical Man, however I want to focus on two this morning: Selflessness and Sacrifice.

Jesus Christ embodied selflessness. Christ told His followers in

Matthew 22:36–40 NASB95

36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 “This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 “The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 “On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”

It can easy for us to show affection and love towards our family and those whom we have a good relationship with, however the call from Christ is to sacrifice and give freely to those whom the world might deem “unworthy” or those who we do not have a relationship with. Jesus gave selflessly and He sacrificed His life for us. A Biblical man knows this and strives to be Christlike and sacrifice for others. Not so that he will get a pat on the back but because he loves Christ so much that he wants to emulate Him.

We know that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is the ultimate Sacrifice. Paul states that Christ made Himself nothing and was a servant for others. Paul calls for Christians to embrace this same mindset in . As men, women, married, unmarried, old, young, this is the mindset that we all should live with! We must strive to be servants and sacrifice for others as well. Our perfect savior died for a bride that was completely unworthy. This gives us a wonderful picture of how sinful husbands should love and cherish their wives today. If we genuinely want to be a Godly man, we must love Jesus Christ and put Him first in our lives.

A Biblical Man loves his Wife

shows us that a man is called to lead his wife and to love her as Christ has loved the church! The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom and advice as to how this is possible. Proverbs does this by showing how important it is to keep your covenantal promises to your spouse. Your marriage vows were promises and real men keep their word!

Solomon repeatedly warns his son about the danger of unfaithful- ness (chaps. 2; 5; 6; 7). Truly being faithful to your covenant commit- ment means you are faithful both outwardly and inwardly. Jesus tells us that even lust is a betrayal (). This leads men to be traitors against their wives (). We looked at for Mother’s Day and we saw how a Godly Woman is a blessing and admired by her husband! This is certainly the case in a Christian marriage, is it not? Growing up, I knew that my dad loved my mom because of the way that he treated her and talked about her. I didn’t have to ask my mother if she loved my dad or vice versa because it was apparent for all to see. The same principle can be said in . A Biblical man loves his Wife and we don’t have to do a deep investigation to figure out if that is true or not because it is clear to all who see them. True, Biblical love is something that can be seen by all.

How can this be done? Proverbs gives us two main ways that men can be pulled away from the wife: communication and attraction. Godly men don’t flirt with other women because it’s a dangerous slope to start down upon. Godly men don’t have a “work wife” that they flirt with at the office because nothing good can come out of that type of environment. Godly men don’t check how their high school crushes are doing on Facebook and reach out with a facebook message. Godly men guard their heart and communication especially with the opposite sex. Now, does this mean that you cannot communicate with the opposite gender? Of course not! Does it mean that you watch what you say and how you say it? Of course it does! Whenever you love Jesus Christ and your wife, you try to honor them and treat them with respect. You would never want to potentially compromise them.

Godly men watch what they watch on TV and on the internet. They love their wives and they respect their wives by what they watch and what they put into their brains. Barna, the Christian research group, released a study in 2018 that said that 62% of Christian men viewed pornographic images on a monthly basis. Church, this cannot be a regular thing for a Godly man! 2 Timothy tells us to

2 Timothy 2:22–24 NASB95

22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 23 But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. 24 The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged,

This does not mean that a Godly man will be perfect. Just as a Godly Woman will not be able to do all of the things in perfectly. However, our aspiration should be to live as Godly a life as possible. A life that reflects our love for Christ and our love for our wives. We must fight for the purity of our minds and guard ourselves against unfaithfulness by watching out for communication and attraction that might turn our heart away from our savior and our spouse! Proverbs has a wealth of wisdom waiting to be unearthed. We must seek to have a strong relationship with Wisdom - which is founded in the person of Jesus Christ. We must be selfless and protect our marriages because real, Godly men love their wives!

A Biblical Man loves his Children

Biblical men love their Children and they teach them. They teach them how to treat other children. They teach them how to tie their shoes. They teach them how to throw a baseball. They teach them about everyday skills. They teach them how to drive, but most importantly, they teach them about Jesus Christ. As a kid, growing up, I always wanted to make my dad proud. Whether it be playing basketball or golfing, I always wanted to do my best for myself and to make my dad proud. There is a special bond between mother and daughter and another special bond between father and son. This is not to say that there isn’t a special bond between mother and son and father and daughter, but as a Father, you are showing your son what to be when he grows up - for better and for worse. Your son will take the positives and the negatives that he sees in you and will be influenced by them. As a teenager, my dad took up another job working the night shift at Target and helping them stock shelves. He worked full-time at the church at this point, but he would do whatever it took to make the ends meet. I knew my dad loved my mom and I, but this only made me realize this even more. Praise God for the hard working men in our lives today that will do whatever it takes to provide for their families!

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Proverbs 13:24 NASB95

24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

A real man lovingly corrects his children so that they might get on the right path. You could spend an entire month looking at discipline in the family structure, however that is not what we are looking at today, we are looking at father’s who love their children. A father who loves his children will discipline his children, in a loving way, so that they will learn from their mistakes and be better for it. As the book of Hebrews says, discipline is painful for a moment but eventually yields results. And though few people enjoy the inconvenience and pain of discipline, they look back on the hardship and almost always decide that the fruit was worth the effort.

Loving your children might meaning that they don’t go and see the movie that everyone else is going to watch or limiting the amount of time that they have on their phone or computer. As someone who has been on the receiving end of both of these situations, it is maddening initially, however you eventually see that your parents love you and they are looking out for you. The world wants parents to be pushovers who allow their children to do whatever they want whenever they want. Scripture does not support this view whatsoever.

One of the saddest stories in the Bible is of a permissive parent. Eli the priest loved his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, and rebuked them only mildly for their wild behavior. He was well aware that they stole people's offerings to the Lord to fill their own stomachs and seduced the young women who came to worship in Shiloh. Still, he only told them to stop; he never actually enforced any kind of discipline on them.

As the rest of the story unfolds in the first few chapters of 1 Samuel, we see the result. God swore to cut off Eli's family forever. On one horrible day, the Israelites were defeated in battle, the Philistines captured the Ark of God, and Hophni and Phinehas were killed. When Eli heard the news, he fell off his chair, broke his neck, and died. It was one of Israel's most devastating moments, all because an old priest wouldn't discipline his sons.

There isn’t a manual that leads to perfect parenting, is there? Obviously Scripture provides a great amount of wisdom and advice, however it cannot give you the exact answer for every specific problem that arises. With that said, a Biblical man understands that his family is counting on him. They are counting on him to provide financially, but also emotionally and spiritually. A Biblical man loves his children and will do his best to train his children up in the ways of the Lord so that they might know right from wrong and treat others with respect. More than that, though, so that his children might come to know the fear of the Lord. A real man does not discipline out of anger or go years without telling his family that he loves them, a Godly man makes sacrifices so that his family might be better off because of it. He disciplines out of compassion and he guides his family to be more Christlike as he dives into the Word and studies what God is calling him to be. A real man loves his children and prays for them.

As a father or grandfather, you never know how impactful your words are. I’ll always remember the first time my grandfather told me that he loved me. I’ll always remember my dad telling me that he was praying for me when I was about to preach my first sermon. As men we might think that the mushy/gushy feely things are for women and we shouldn’t say things like that. The bottom line is that our words matter and they have a profound impact, especially on your children/grandchildren. Let’s use our words carefully and let’s spread the love of Jesus with our families because Godly men love their children.

A Biblical Man loves Discipline

One of the main teachings of Proverbs is that real men know how to control their appetites for sex, money, power, status, food, and alcohol. A real man is self-controlled! says, “A person who does not control his temper is like a city whose wall is broken down.” A city like that is vulnerable to any kind of attack (Garrett, Proverbs, 211). The devil loves to prey on men who are weak like this. He has destroyed many men through their appetites. In contrast, the Spirit of Jesus pro- duces self-control in your life ().

Real men are disciplined when it comes to pride. They know to be humble because God gives grace to the humble as tells us. Men can often be headstrong - I know this to be the case in my own life and Lindsey can certainly attest to this fact! The world tells us that it is ok to be confident in ourselves and be proud of our achievements. While some people have an issue with pride, many others see pride as something very important to their character and something good. As Christians, though, we must be careful when it comes to pride. Sure, we have strengths and things that we are gifted at, however we must be sure to be humble when it comes to using these gifts and realize that ultimately, it all comes from God! We talked about Stewardship last Sunday night and the Baptist Faith and Message tells us that we are like “house managers” while God is the “owner”. We cannot be boastful and prideful in who we are and how we are gifted because everything ultimately belongs to God. We must be humble and give the glory/honor to Him. Biblical men understand this and are humble.

Biblical men are disciplined when it comes to their words. tells us that

Proverbs 21:23 NASB95

23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.

We are not to be boastful. Have Humility and honesty rather than pride and dishonesty. They keep the confidence and trust of their spouses, family and friends. They control their desire for money. They are content, as shows us). They earn their money and they are generous with it. They know that some things have an eternal purpose and others are only temporary. Many men have a goal in mind, whether it be a certain financial goal or a specific dream job that they desire to attain. Perhaps it is a dream car or boat. At the end of the day, though, what matters is not the type of car you drive or the house you live in, what matters to a Biblical man is providing for his family, sharing the love of Jesus Christ with them and helping out those who are in need. It’s not all about making 6 figures and having a 2019 bass boat in the barn. It’s about sharing the name of Jesus Christ first and foremost because that is eternal and those other things will eventually fade away because they do not last forever. You can’t take your truck to heaven, and a Biblical man is aware of this and spends time focusing on things that are eternal.

Biblical men control their tempers. They are not quarrelsome nor are they cowards. Biblical manhood is tough enough to be patient and forgiving. Sometimes it takes a bigger person to forgive than to lash out in anger - I think we can all attest to this fact! commends men who control their tempers.

Proverbs 16:32 NASB95

32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

A real man is slow to anger with his wife, children, neighbors, coworkers and even in traffic! He does not love to argue and stir things up. He is gentle with his words, especially towards his wife and children. This does not mean that you are a pushover, it means that you hold firm to Biblical truths, but you lead your household gently. Know when you need to rebuke others, stand your ground, cool tension in a heated situation and be kind. We see all of these in Jesus’ ministry, do we not? Jesus lashed out at the money changers in the Temple and He also comforted the broken hearted and put children on His lap.

What other people think and say does not matter, ultimately what matters is what God thinks about them. Peer pressure causes stupid people to do stupid things. Biblical men are not controlled by this, though. They do not follow the crowd, they follow Jesus!

Conclusion

There is nothing greater than living for Jesus Christ and making His name known to the nations. Biblical Motherhood and Fatherhood are things that our culture is completely foreign to, however they are vitally important for the church today! Biblical Manhood is important and something that our church must encourage.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church

Fathers, love your children and train them up in the ways of the Lord

Grandfathers, love your children/grandchildren and pray for them daily. Let them know what a Biblical man looks like

Church, run to Jesus Christ. Submit to Him. Encourage one another along the way!

Women, do not beat your man up over this. Pray for the men in your life, your husband, father, children and play your vital role because only Jesus can change your man!

Love Jesus, Love your family and Love discipline. And let’s help raise our next generation to love Jesus, love their family and love discipline as well.

Let’s pray