Just Wait Until Your Father Gets Home

Introduction:

Today we celebrate Father’s Day. There are several things that come to mind when we think of dads. One of them is jokes that they think are hilarious but in reality are eye-roll worthy. Here are a few for you:

Regardless, Sunday is Father’s Day, and we thought this a great opportunity to bring you 11 massive groaners from the past 70-plus years to share with those you love:

I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living. It’s just something I can see myself doing.

Wanna hear a joke about a stone? Never mind, I’ll just skip that one.

Son: “Dad, are you alright?” Dad: “No, I’m half left and half right.”

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Big hands.

Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean? Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide.

Daughter: “Dad, I’m cold.” Dad: “Go stand in a corner. It’s 90 degrees.”

Jimmy (reading facts and figures from his dad’s insurance tables): “Did you know that every time I breathe, a man dies?” Dad: “Why don’t you use a little mouthwash now and then?”

Did you hear the news that a lot of applications just came in from people looking to pursue a career as the government’s top-ranking medical official? Yes, there was a surge in general.

I’ve always admired fishermen. Now those are reel men.“

Have you heard of Murphy’s law?” “Yeah.” “What is it?” “If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.” “That’s right. Have you heard of Cole’s law?” “No, what is it?” “Thinly sliced cabbage and mayo.”

”What do you call a bad joke? This.

What do you call a bad joke? This. (from https://www.inman.com/2019/06/13/11-dad-jokes-fit-for-fathers-day/)

1 Thess 5:1-11

1 Thessalonians 5:1–11 NKJV

1 But concerning the times and the seasons, brethren, you have no need that I should write to you. 2 For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so comes as a thief in the night. 3 For when they say, “Peace and safety!” then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman. And they shall not escape. 4 But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this Day should overtake you as a thief. 5 You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. 6 Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. 7 For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. 8 But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. 9 For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, 10 who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. 11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.

Be aware of your SITUATION

Be aware of your SECURITY