AN ODE TO FEARLESS FATHERS!
Notes
Transcript
TO THOSE WHO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF FATHERHOOD!
TO THOSE WHO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF FATHERHOOD!
“Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.”
LUKE
“It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Zacharias said to the angel, “How will I know this for certain? For I am an old man and my wife is advanced in years.”
“It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
FATHERS PLAY AN INTEGRAL PART OF GOD’S PLAN. (; )
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING TO DO WHAT WAS NEEDED, (HEART)
WHEN YOU COULD HAVE DONE WHAT YOU WANTED.
Summary of The necessity of fathers: Warren Farrell/JB Peterson
– Absent fathers during pregnancy means four times the death rate of infants.
– Male hormones declines and nursing hormone prolactin increases.
– Men have a biological clock.
– Play with fathers is a major thing. Reduces criminal activity.
– Fathers use more words which pull them to develop more quickly.
– Fathers are not necessary but they contribute a lot.
– Engage with your kids, listen to them, don’t just spend time… engage.
The Perfect Father
FATHERS DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT.
YOU DON’T NEED TO BE A PERFECT MAN TO BE A FATHER.
But you must be a GOOD man to be a GOOD FATHER.
It’s a dying art today…there are not many in our nation anymore.
Thank God we DO have a few good men here…we can always use a few more!
MEN ARE NOT PERFECT, BUT THEY ARE GOOD AT BEING MEN.
LADIES AND KIDS, LET ME ASSIST YOU IN UNDERSTANDING MEN.
THE MEN’S THESAURUS
(men don’t always say what they mean) – ladies, please allow me to translate for your future benefit:
When a man says “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
He means: "I have no idea how it works"
When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’
He means: "I can’t hear the game over the NOISE YOU ARE MAKING"
He means: "Are you still talking?"
When a man says: "IT’S A GUY THING"
He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical"
When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER"
He means: "Why isn’t it ready yet?"
When a man says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR"
He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response to be
He means: " I can remember my favorite song from the 80s 90s or 2000s, the championship victories of my sports heroes, date and time kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned – but yes, I forgot your birthday"
When a man says ’OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL"
He means: "I have probably severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt, so get over here and help me!"
When a man says ’I CAN’T FIND IT.’’
He means: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hand, so I’m completely clueless"
When a man says “I HEARD YOU.”
He means: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you’ll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
When a man says "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
He means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
When a man says "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!"
He means: "Oh please don’t try on one more outfit, we’re late and I’m starving."
When a man says "I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.’’
He means: "I have NO idea where we are, but I drive to China before I admit it now that you asked."
When a man says “I don’t think I can go today.”
He means: Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way.
When a man says, “I don’t remember saying that.”
It’s because he means: “Anything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.”
When a man says, “that’s not what I meant.”
He means: “If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one.
He means: ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. I have no idea what “taupe” is.
We thank God today for the good men He’s sent us here.
Good men are:
I. Men Who Have Learned to Lean [on the Lord]
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
A. Have a salvation relationship with the Lord. (, )
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
We men are bad about trying to be “in control”…to “make things happen.” Often ladies find it easier to “rest in the Lord” and lean on Him for salvation. It’s a part of a woman’s nature to place themselves in someone else’s hands. It’s not that way for men. Is that fair?
Jesus solves this dilemma:
And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Children have that attitude of trust, even male children…but something happens to us once we begin to feel even the slightest amount of thickness in our “peach fuzz!”
I thank God for a few good men we have here at Hope… they have learned to lean on the Lord for their salvation…
B. For Strength (, )
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: [31] But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
He delighteth not in the strength of the horse: he taketh not pleasure in the legs of a man.
C. For Supply ()
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
We all want to be the breadwinner/mighty hunter, but ultimately we need to see even our own selves as being in God’s hands.
C. For Soundness (Reasoning/Wisdom)
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
This is the one of only 2 prayers any man can pray which the answer is always yes! [salvation-Rom. 10:13-is the other]
I thank God for a few good men who have learned to lean…
FATHER’S HAVE A POSITIVE TO INFLUENCE ON CHILDREN’S LIVES. (the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous)
Lets revisit your importance men, first on the negative side:
so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.
I don’t think God says, kids you have lousy dads so I’m going to make your life worse. No, I believe dads are responsible. God says, men you want to grow old and have a healthy caring society that is kind and meaningful: INVEST IN KIDS when you are young. If you don’t, all hell will break loose.
I want you to hear from scientific research and study the difference that happens when dad’s are not in the picture.
The necessity of fathers: Warren Farrell/JB Peterson (summary below)
So if the father is not in the picture:
– Children have less postponed gratification which leads to them not getting a meaningful job.
Inner cities typically start with 70% single moms… Where do we see poverty and violence increasing today? What is the Leftist and athiest solution? Destroy the sanctity of marriage and fund single parenting.
– They are more likely to be aggressive and depressed. They are less likely to be empathetic.
A recent study, published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior, by Ernest O’Boyle Jr. at Virginia Commonwealth University, concludes that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of job performance.
– Much more likely to be addicted to video games, video porn. Less likely to have better social and emotional skills. Wont be good in every academic area especially reading and writing which is the biggest predictor of success.
– Lower sperm count!
– Shorter telomeres which means shorter life expectancy. 14% shorter for girls, and for boys 14% even shorter than the girls.
– Kids did well with the father around even when they were in poorer schools.
Every nightmare of the parent is increased without the father around
what good fathers do to prepare the children for life: these may annoy or bother the Mother but are Crucial
– Rough housing with kids. The mother worries there will be an accident. So how does a dad make it fun: let the kid win at least 30% or the kid won’t want to play any more. It helps children parameterise their bodies, abilities and limits. They correlate a lack of play with a rise in ADHD. Now moms, this is where you come in or better stay out: The mother has to trust the process or the father will turn off. The child learns about boundaries, rules and learning to push the boundaries. A good opportunity for the father to show them when they are crossing the line.
– A partner who hasn’t been played with in the same way can’t tell the difference between boisterous rambunctiousness and aggression. This will be seen and control and subjugation.
– A bond is created with father and child. It’s used as primary reward from the father. Ok enough play now, do your chores and when we have time we can do something else. It’s crucial for the kids to play.
Out of play emerges an ethic
– Training is easier with reward vs. threat or punishment even though reward is harder to use. So fathers should use rough and tumble play as much as possible because it will deepen the trust and long term reward. The threat and relief of being thrown up and caught does this. Play stops if everyone is not having fun. If they make another kid cry they will try look away but make them look to see what happens when boundaries are crossed.
– Children raised only by predominantly by dads will have 15% ADHD while it was double when raised predominantly by moms. This is because they are learning postponed gratification. If they don’t learn this part they will get bored with the repetition required to be successful. So it’s like they have a goal to get to but if they don’t get the goal or it’s too hard for them to get to then they wont see a point in doing what needs to be done. Another reason why they’re moving more to video games.
– Real life games are not necessarily fun and requires more work than video games.
When they live only in virtual reality, they don’t learn the skills to interact with others, especially girls. Then they feel like they can’t attract the girls as they are interested in the visual stimulus of girls. But, since they don’t know how to relate to real girls, that leads them to withdrawing into porn. The porn goes into a vicious cycle and you can know more about that here – The Great Porn Experiment and Porn Addiction
– Now he’s used to seeing how it’s done in porn and when he meets someone asks them to do the same but doesn’t get it so he thinks he’s even more useless. Going back to his comfort. It goes back to postponed gratification. Nobody can see his sensitivity so one day he wants to show people that he counts, he matters, he is worthy of attention. Worst case scenarios are suicide or school shootings.
– Daughters have more psychological centred-ness with dad around.
– With the little custody time that fathers get they are not able to go deeper to the core of whats happening with the child even though the kid is happy with the additional prodding to get them out of the shell. The child is more confrontational with the dad when talking about issues while they open up faster with the mom to get assurance. So the mother will say things like ‘you’re a great goalie’ while the father will say ‘come on, you know you can do, pull up your socks’. This is where they look up to the father to tell them the truth of what they need to hear not what they like to hear.
– 90 minutes communication time throughout the week to keep updated and 2-3 times a week personal time is healthy.
– Leading in family Unity! Family dinner nights are important as long as they don’t become family dinner nightmares e.g. when the authoritarian takes over the conversation and there is no proper active listening which can easily be seen by family members quickly eating to leave or one way conversations. Children are required not to have electronics at the table. Everyone has an opportunity to talk and can be structured amount of time. Everyone’s needs are handled, cared for and putting other peoples feelings ahead into practice. The family unit are moving together.
This learning will make or break the child’s future success.
– Biologically oriented inability to handle criticism without being defensive is the single biggest thing that kills marriages. Different people takes in different versions of the pictures. So everyone tries to see the others point of view and asks facilitated questions to understand it.
Now the reality is that God puts emphasis on family. When He started in the Garden, He made a family. When no one would listen, He chose a family. When God prepared a nation, He started with a family. God wants to be your father. He has no grandchildren.
The greatest dad is the heavenly Father who didn’t want to give up His Son, He didn’t want to suffer, look at the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus and the Father felt anguish. He did not do what He wanted. He did what was needed. Today you need to be part of the family. Today men, you need to take a courageous stand for your family and be dad. NOt merely in word, but in deed.
GOd loves you not just in word but in deed as well.
– Testosterone declines and nursing hormone prolactin increases.
– Increased risk of schizophrenia when fathers are older.
– Men have a biological clock.
– Play with fathers is a major thing. Reduces criminal activity.
– Fathers use more words which pull them to develop more quickly.
– Fathers are not necessary but they contribute a lot.
– Engage with your kids, listen to them, don’t just spend time… engage.
The Perfect Father