The Misery of Isolation

Scripture Reading

Ecclesiastes 4:7–16 NIV84

7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: 8 There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless— a miserable business! 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. 13 Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning. 14 The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. 15 I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king’s successor. 16 There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Introduction (v.7)

Solomon begins this portion of our text with his typical introductory statement:

7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

There is no shortage of meaninglessness under this sun!!

What Solomon is going to go on to outline in this passage are the dangers of isolation.

1. The Misery of Isolation in Work (v.8)

1.1. The Observation

We begin in verse 8 by seeing Solomon's observation of an isolated man...

"There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother."

Solomon's description of this man that he is considering is that the man was all alone.

Literally, the word that is used there for "all alone" means that there was no second... there was no one coming after him...

He refers specifically to "son" and "brother"

The reason that he refers to these two is because the context of his argument in verse 8 is that of work - of generating an income.

The fact is that he is working hard to amass great income and wealth for himself, but he has no one to leave his wealth to.

There is not even an heir to take over that which he is working for.

This is a man (yes, perhaps an extreme case) who is so devoted to the accumulation of wealth, that there is no time for family.

In fact, family is not even a thought for him.

1.2. The Problem

"There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth."

The man is labouring away, toiling hard.

In fact, there is no end to his toil.

But the work that he's doing is self-centred toil.

His goal is self-advancement, and self-development, and gaining for himself.

But as he continues to work, he's never content with his wealth.

This is a man who lives in covetousness.

Exodus 20:17 NIV84

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

This man lives a life of coveting the riches in the world around him that he thinks he can gain for himself.

This is the idolatry of wealth in the world.

Proverbs 27:20

20 Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of man.

While this man’s case is an extreme one, we should not assume that we are not tempted to live with a similar mindset.

Here is the nature of man... we are so often those who are not satisfied.

We strive for more in our lives.

We strive for the things that will bring contentment, but really we're looking for contentment in all the wrong places.

There was no end to his toil.... long days, perhaps long into the night...

With no second… no one to take over that which he is accumulating.

On other words, he has no time for family or relationships.

“For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"

This leads to the question... "for whom am I toiling...?"

This is the way the NIV puts it.

If you look at the ESV / NASB / KJV etc. they say "he never asks the question..."

That phrase "never asks the question" is not in the original... so it's really an interpretation issue.

But be that as it may, the question is posed to demonstrate to the reader that this man is so involved and caught up in his work that he is unable to give any thought to any other person.

In the mean time, he deprives himself of any enjoyment in life, even of that which he is gaining.

Even the wealth that he is making is not bringing him any kind of enjoyment.

In Luke 12:13-21, Jesus told the parable of the rich fool...

Turn with me there in your Bibles...

Luke 12:13–21 NIV84

13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” 15 Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. 17 He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ 18 “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ’ 20 “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ 21 “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

1.3. The Conclusion

This is the story of the man who Solomon sees building a fortune for himself.

In the end, this too is meaningless— a miserable business!

This man has had no place for God within his life - God is drowned out and displaced due to an incessant burden of needing to work.

This man has had no place for other people in his life - others would only have been a hindrance to his own objectives of obtaining more wealth.

We must ask, are we not tempted at times to drown out God from life because of the continuous need to be involved in work, or other life responsibilities.

Is our life so busy (even with important things) that God doesn’t fit into our schedule?

Do you recall the account of Mary and Martha?

Mary sat at the feet of Jesus.

Martha was busy doing what was needed in life.

She was doing important chores… like preparing a meal...

But Jesus has to tell her that she has her priorities wrong.

She didn’t have time to sit at the feet of her Saviour, because she was worried about less important things.

We must also ask, how much do our relationships suffer in life because of our busy-ness?

If we have no time to spend with our family, because our work is so important, and there’s just so much to do, perhaps we need to be reconsidering our commitments.

2. The Misery of Isolation in Hardships (vv.9-12)

2.1. Observation (v.9)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

The context is already set by looking at the man who works only for himself.

His life is focused only on accumulating for himself.

His life is focused on his own ambitions and endeavours.

But Solomon has noted that such a life is meaningless.

And that leads to this consideration that two are better than one.

The reason that he gives in the observation is that they have a good return for their work.

But we should not limit our understanding merely to the work situation, and the benefit of a greater return at work.

Certainly, that is a basic reality.

If you have people working together on a team, striving towards a goal, very often the overall productivity of the two combined will achieve far greater benefit than if the two worked individually.

But Solomon looks beyond that and gives 3 different practical examples or scenarios in order to drive his point home.

The argument that Solomon is making here is that isolation is not good.

On the other hand, companionship is good.

It is good for a person to be in relationship, and to have others around for their benefit.

One commentator writes this:

“The Lord who alone is self-sufficient, has not given to any one such a measure of light or strength, as can put them beyond the necessity of making use of others; but would have every one to seek help from, and every one willing to give help to, others; Therefore is society here commended, Two are better than One.” (Alexander Nisbet)

2.2. A Friend for when you fall (v.10)

10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

This is the first practical example that Solomon gives.

If you fall and are injured or weakened to a point that you are unable to help yourself up, then you need a friend alongside you in order to help you.

A practical example of this is my grandmother.... in an old-age facility - fell down and broke her hip, and wasn't able to help herself up.

But we can extend this picture further, to all kinds of scenarios in the world.

Very often in life, people are knocked down metaphorically by the trials and troubles in this world.

Perhaps a family member greatly disappoints you... does something that causes immense harm or emotional stress in your life... do you feel knocked down in life because of this.

Perhaps there is a relational hardship in your closest relationships, and the places where you previously would have obtained comfort and support are now the very places where the struggles are found.

Some people find themselves in financially troubling times, and they don't know where they are going to find the means to get through the struggle.

There are many life circumstances which lead people to spiraling downward and into a place of distress, weariness, helplessness and great darkness.

If one in is such a place, I would suggest to you that it is nearly impossible for them to work their way out of that place without someone coming alongside them and helping them up.

"Pity the man" says Solomon "who falls and has no one to help him up!"

There is great misery in hardships as it is.

But there is far greater misery when you have to face those hardships alone.

One of the great benefits of the church, this spiritual community is that we are to care for one another in those hardships.

Galatians 6:1–3 NIV84

1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

2.3. A Friend for when you're cold (v.11)

The second example is that of a friend for when you're cold.

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

You will recall in 1 Kings 1, the account of David who in his old age was unable to keep himself warm. His servants got him a young lady to lie next to him and keep him warm .

More appropriately, a husband and wife are able to keep each other warm on cool nights.

But even apart from marriage, there are times where body warmth are very helpful in order to ensure life in harsh conditions.

We've heard of those accounts of people being stranded out in the freezing cold snow, and the only hope of survival is keeping close together to stay warm.

In the Biblical days, if there were travelers on a journey, they would at times be out in the desert, and nights in the desert can be particularly cold.

One of the ways that they would be able to keep warm was to lie back-to-back, and sleep like that.

It was not necessarily an intimate kind of relationship.

But again, there is a spiritual truth that should be gleaned from this example.

"This is not just good travel advice but wisdom for the soul.

There is spiritual warmth in going through life with other believers.

It is easy to grow cold in the Christian life, to become numb to the work of God, and eventually to freeze almost to spiritual death.

But when we are growing cold, the heat of another Christian can warm us up.

The prayer of an elder or deacon, the verse that a friend shares from Scripture, an exhortation to turn our hearts back to God — these are some of the sparks that God uses to keep the fire burning." (Ryken)

2.4. A friend for when you're accosted (v.12)

The final practical example that Solomon gives!

12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

In those days, they would usually travel along routes on foot, where bandits would lie in wait for such travelers and attack them along the road.

That's why Christ was able to use a very common illustration in that parable of the good Samaritan.

They would have understood the dangers of travelling alone.

In our day, this is little different....

We're constantly on the lookout for thieves, for hijackers, for those who would seek to do harm.

Situational awareness is just part of a way of life in South Africa

And if there's one thing we know, it's safer to be in numbers than it is to be alone.

But again, we need to consider the spiritual significance of this in our lives.

We must understand the strength and help that is available when a group stands together and are united in the spiritual battle.

When a Christian faces temptation in their life to do wrong, one of the most helpful things for them in that moment is a friend that they can talk to who can come alongside them and pray with them, or encourage them through the Scriptures.

“We need scarcely remark, how clearly the principle of membership is here involved. The live coal left alone soon loses its vital heat. But heap the coals around it , and we have a genial atmosphere. The most lively professor left alone is in danger of waxing cold in selfishness. But the precious 'communion of saints' warms the Christian from the very center. All is sound, when "the members of the body...have the same care one for another." (1 Cor. xii. 25.) Thus "from the" Divine " Head, the whole body, fitly joined together, and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body to the edifying of itself in love." (Eph. iv. 15, 16.) This principle also rebukes the religious solitaire—that isolated being, who belongs to no Church, because no Church is perfect enough for him. Surely it is better to belong to an imperfect (not heretical) Church, than to none...” (Charles Bridges)

3. The Misery of Isolation in Leadership (vv.13-16)

This the final description that Solomon gives, which also speaks of the misery of isolation, but in this case it comes as a result of a leader failing to take instruction, or to lead with a teachable spirit.

3.1. The Principle Stated

13 Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning.

In the wisdom literature, and in fact in life in general, we assume that wisdom comes with age.

As a person grows through their experiences in life, so their wisdom and understanding continues to grow.

But in this case, there is a kingly ruler who no longer knows how to take warning.

It would appear from the construction here that at one stage this man was able to take some instruction, but as time went on, he became unteachable due to a proud heart

This is the person who is in leadership who thinks that they know it all, and that they don't need to take instruction, particularly from someone younger than them.

On the other hand, Solomon says that it is better to be a poor youth, but a wise a wise youth, than to be this old but foolish king.

Proverbs 18:1–2 NASB95

1 He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. 2 A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.

3.2. The Example Given

14 The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom.

This is a rags to riches story, as we'll see it continues in verse 15.

But this youth that Solomon has in mind comes from one of two backgrounds...

Either he was imprisoned, or he was simply born into a poor household.

In Solomon's mind, there may very well have been particular individuals that he knew of where this was the case.

Consider Joseph, who was a lowly person, and was sold as a slave in Egypt, but who rose from the lowly place to a place of great power.

Or perhaps, even more appropriately, is Solomon's father David, who was a simple shepherd, keeping his father's sheep, but who then rose to power.

In David's case, Saul was king, a certainly didn't have much respect for David at all.

15 I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king’s successor.

This young man, from humble beginnings, had a great following.

Instead of supporting the king himself, who was foolish by not taking advice, the hordes of people supported the young man instead.

Again, my mind can't help but be drawn to the people of Israel singing the praises of David above those of Saul - Saul has killed his thousands, but David his ten's of thousands.

This led to great jealousy on the part of Saul.

3.3. The Fickle Nature of People

16 There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Even though this youth was popular, eventually those people who came later were not pleased even with this successor.

And so the successor himself, although he was wise, eventually lost his popularity.

Part of the lesson here is that fame is fleeting.

3.4. The key lesson for us...

The key lesson here is are we able to receive advice from others.

This whole section by Solomon drives towards the idea of the pitfalls of isolation.

In this context particularly, the danger is that of thinking that you do not need counsel or input from others.

I would like to bring some Scriptures to bear on this aspect particularly...

Proverbs 12:15

15 The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 11:14

14 For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.

Proverbs 15:22

22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

3.5. Practical Application for us...

Proverbs 19:20–21

20 Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.

21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

Application and Conclusion

With all of this in mind, I’d like to consider some practical points of application this morning.

I’ll do this under two main headings.

A.1. We Need to be United with Christ

This is the first step.

We must start with knowing that our primary relationship that is necessary for life is a true and living relationship with Jesus Christ.

If we do not have this relationship with Christ, then all other relationships are without true meaning.

Because our very existence in this world is for the glory of God, and the joy of knowing Him through the Saviour Jesus Christ.

Our only hope in this world is Jesus Christ.

And Jesus Christ is the key relationship that is needed in every circumstance.

For example, think about Paul in prison.

In that context, there was no other person that he could live in relationship with to encourage him and keep him rejoicing.

And yet, he rejoiced.

Why??

Because he knew Christ; because he knew what it was to be united with Christ; etc.

I must ask the question this morning: Are you united with Christ?

A.2. We Need to be United with Each Other

Secondly, and this is critical for us today, we need to be united with each other...

By this I do not mean that we need to come to church on a Sunday morning.

I mean that we need to live our lives as a family - a united family!

How often don’t we withdraw ourselves from the church the moment we hit hard times?

We think that because we’ve got struggles, we can’t go to church, because then we’d need to put on a facade for people.

We think that because we’ve got the struggles we do, we’re not really worthy to be in church; we’re not acceptable with all these failures.

And so we’ve got to first tidy up our lives a little bit on our own, and once we’re in better shape, then we can go and be around God’s people, and in God’s presence.

Friends, that is a lie of the devil.

If there is one place that you should be in your struggles, it is in the church, crying your heart out to the body of Christ.

You should be opening up with your struggles so that you can receive help and grace and mercy from God through the body of Christ.

This is what we’re about.

We are all broken people.

We are all failed people.

We are all unworthy of the Gospel of grace.

We are all unworthy of mercy.

But that’s the Gospel!!! Unworthy sinners receiving grace in order that we may live with freedom.

The reason why we don’t want to show that we’re having struggles is because of pride.

We’re too proud to acknowledge that we’re struggling people.

We’re too proud to acknowledge our own sin struggles.

Let this never be… may we pray that God leads us to embrace the Gospel.... It’s not about how well I’m doing in life.

It’s about what Christ has done for me!

When You Commit to and Embrace Fellowship with God’s people:

You demonstrate a sincere love for Jesus.

1 John 4:19–20 NIV84

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

You receive the encouragement of harmony.

Romans 15:5 NIV84

5 May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

You experience mutual acceptance among radically different people.

Romans 15:7 NIV84

7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

You benefit from mutual instruction, encouragement and correction.

Romans 15:14 NIV84

14 I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.

You gain opportunities for joy, mutual comfort, unity, encouragement and peace.

2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV84

11 Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

1 Thessalonians 4:18 NIV84

18 Therefore encourage each other with these words.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV84

11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

You use your newfound freedom for the loving service of others.

Galatians 5:13 NIV84

13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

You receive mutual encouragement and growth that comes from corporate worship before God.

Colossians 3:16 NIV84

16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

You demonstrate reverence to Christ.

Ephesians 5:21 NIV84

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

You receive confrontation from others, making yourself less vulnerable to the hardening deceitfulness of sin.

Hebrews 3:13 NIV84

13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

You stir up others to love and good works, while being stirred up by others to love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV84

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

You are freed to confess your sins to a brother or sister and benefit by their prayers for you.

James 5:16 NIV84

16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

You grow in humility.

1 Peter 5:5 NIV84

5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”